by Gemma Brooks
The tiny, outdated bathroom began to spin around me, and I struggled to catch my breath. This was real. This was really, really real. I was pregnant. And I’d just walked out on my boyfriend in a fit of self-serving, insecure foolishness. What had I done?
I shoved the capped test into my pocket and headed back to my room, shutting the door and flinging myself on the bed. I wanted to call Rowdy, but I wanted to go to the doctor to be sure first. The last thing I wanted was to look like some crazy girlfriend who accused him of cheating and then calls him to tell him she’s pregnant.
CHAPTER 24
I walked out of the OB/GYN clinic Monday morning with a fluttering heart and a sonogram in my hand. The baby’s heartbeat was strong, everything looked good, and according to their measurements, I was already nine weeks. Rowdy’s baby was due in May. The seventh to be exact.
I wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him and hear his voice. I wanted him to wrap his strong arms around me and tell me everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t do any of that. I’d pushed him away like some scared idiot.
I rolled the windows down on that unusually warm morning in late October. Wagner was gorgeous in the fall. Orange, gold, and red leaves filled the tree-lined streets as the sun filtered in through the moon roof of my BWM. Rowdy’s BMW really.
In my head, I began to imagine how the conversation with Rowdy was going to go. But I didn’t have to wonder for long. The second I pulled into my dad’s driveway, Rowdy’s Hummer was parked in the driveway.
I walked in the house, overhearing Dad and Rowdy having an intense conversation over something sports-related.
“Hi,” I said, sheepishly, as I walked into the family room.
“Gia,” Rowdy said, clearing his throat afterwards. His intense eyes locked into mine. I wanted to run to him and forget anything had ever happened, but I had to stand my ground. Seeing him instantly brought back memories of that night with Avery Sharp and him standing there in nothing but shorts, fresh out of the shower. Confused didn’t even begin to describe what I was going through.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, sweetly. I was glad to see him, but I didn’t want him to know that. Not yet anyway.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” he asked.
I pointed behind me, towards the front door. My dad’s bungalow had a deep front porch with a sweet little porch swing. I’d spent many nights swinging on that swing and dreaming about the future and what was to come. I’d cried my eyes out on that swing when Drew broke my heart. And when I was a girl, my mama would read me stories on that swing, us both wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket with mugs of hot cocoa on the cool, fall afternoons. Never in a million years did I think I’d be bringing Rowdy to my sacred space for a life altering conversation.
We walked outside, the cool autumn breezes tickling our faces, and took our seats on the swing. His arm stretched out behind my back, and his eyes never left my face.
“Why’d you run off like that, Gia?” he asked. “I don’t understand. It’s not like you to just jump to conclusions like that.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I’m not myself lately.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I’m surprised your dad hasn’t told you by now,” I said, referencing my run in with Mr. Matthews the night before.
“Told me what?” he said innocently before pausing. “That you bought a pregnancy test at the store?”
My eyes flew up to meet his. “I knew your dad would say something.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“Is that the only reason you came here?” I asked, ignoring his question. “Because you think I’m pregnant?”
“Are you?” he asked delicately, eyebrows raised. My simple, one-word answer held the key to his future.
“Yes,” I said, hanging my head low. Hot tears filled my eyes and streaked down my cheeks as I buried my head in my hands, hunched over. Within seconds, the warm sensation of Rowdy’s hand on my back and the gentle force of him bringing me closer to him served as a gentle reminder that we were in this together.
“Hey,” he said, reaching his hand over and lifting my face towards his. “That’s not why I came, by the way. I was going to come anyway. He just happened to mention it to me this morning.”
“Really?” I asked, my mood instantly lightening. “But you didn’t call me. After I left, you didn’t even try to call.”
“I was trying to give you space,” he said. “Let you cool off. There was no talking to you that night.”
He had a point, I knew that much. “I guess.”
“You guess?” he said with a laugh. “Gia, I swear to you, nothing happened. And nothing was going to happen. I don’t know what else I can say to get you to believe me.”
I remembered Drew and his plethora of excuses, one after another, as if they’d been practiced and rehearsed a million times. My mama once told me that the truth doesn’t need an explanation, and if someone’s giving you too many excuses, they’re probably lying.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him as I buried my head into his solid chest and he wrapped his arms around me.
“Gia, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing my back. “You’re obviously hormonal. And I know, you’ve been hurt by men before.”
I nodded, breathing him in. He knew me better than anyone else, and we’d really only know each other a year.
“I’ve loved you since the day I saw you,” he said. “Standing there in that warehouse, looking all out of place. And then you touched me, so tenderly, and the way you looked at me. And then you started to care about me. No one had ever cared about me the way you did, and you hardly knew me.”
I smiled, wiping a rogue tear from my cheek.
“What kind of ass would I be if I just walked away from that kind of love,” he said, continuing, “for a two-bit piece of ass who only likes me because I’m famous?”
“Men are weak,” I said. “Especially when it comes to pretty women.”
“Not this man,” he said. “You of all people should know that I’m not weak.”
I sighed. “True.”
“Come home, Gia.” He buried his face into my long, dark hair and kissed my neck. “Let me take care of you.”
CHAPTER 25
“You ready for your fight tonight?” I asked Rowdy as he prepped his gym bag. I’d been back in Vegas with him for a month, and everything had returned right back to normal the second we set foot back in that high rise. Rowdy was resilient like that. Nothing fazed him. He went right back to treating me like a queen, and even more so now that I was carrying his child.
We were officially in the second trimester, and things were moving along smoothly. I felt like a million bucks and Rowdy was fighting better than ever.
“What about Rufus?” I asked him as he tied his shoes. “For a boy.”
I loved to tease him about baby names.
“I hope you’re joking,” he said with a wrinkled nose. “Never in a million years. No.”
“Actually, I like A.J. if it’s a boy,” I said, rubbing my barely-visible bump. “Rowdy Junior.”
Rowdy smiled. “It’s going to be a girl. I have a feeling.”
“Oh, do you?” I asked, sauntering up to him.
“And she’s going to be beautiful,” he said. “Your eyes. Your lips. Light, caramel skin. She’s going to be the most beautiful thing in the entire world.”
“I guess we’ll see in six more months, huh,” I said, leaning down and kissing him as he straightened his laces.
Rowdy looked slightly paler than usual, but I chalked it up to the cooler weather and shorter days. We spent less time outside than usual anymore. I watched as he fished around in his bag, looking relieved when his hand rested upon something inside.
“What’s up with you?” I asked, one eye squinting. “You’re acting all…squirrelly.”
“Nothing,” he said. “Just nervous for this fight.”
“This fight? Maldonado? That guy’s got n
othin’ on you,” I laughed. “Why would you be nervous to fight him?”
I laughed, sauntering away and thinking nothing more of it.
“Gia?” he called after me. I spun around, only to find him down on bended knee, a white ring box propped open in his left hand.
My jaw dropped as I was pulled back in his direction.
“Gia,” he said again, swallowing a lump in his throat. “Will you marry me?”
His proposal was just like him. Simple. Uncomplicated. No muss, no fuss. It was perfect.
“Yes!” I squealed.
He stood up and pulled the ring out of the box. A generous, sparkling princess cut solitaire threw dancing sparkles all over the walls in the room as he slipped it on my finger.
“I’m so happy,” he whispered into my ear as he hugged me. He leaned back, cupped my face in his strong hands and pulled my mouth towards his, kissing me softly.
I kissed him back with a fervor, grateful that he was in it for the long haul. The world was his oyster and at twenty-three, he was on the verge of becoming one of the most successful MMA fighters who ever lived, but all he wanted to do was love me and take care of this little family we were about to have.
“I love you so much,” he said, breathlessly, as he came up for air. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. And I’ll love this baby just the same.”
“Me too,” I replied.
“We’re going to give this baby the life we never had,” he said. “We’re going to be together through thick and thin, no matter what, and this baby will never have to question a thing. We’ll always be there for it.”
I knew exactly where his words were coming from, that deep, dark abyss in his heart. The place he rarely spoke of. The blackest of black memories that tarnished his soul and left the physical scars on his back to prove it. His mother was a monster.
CHAPTER 26
I took my seat, ring side, and waited for the fight to begin. Floating on cloud nine, nothing felt real in that moment. I couldn’t stop staring at the sparkler on my finger or take my eyes off the twinkle in Rowdy’s eyes as he took his position in the ring. Everything was working out perfectly. We were going to have a little family. Life was about to get good, really good.
I sat back, watching the fight but not really watching it. I tried to picture what things would be like once the baby arrives. I tried to imagine Rowdy cradling it in his big, strong arms, or throwing it up in the air and catching it as a toddler. I tried to picture what it might look like, what we might name it, and where we’d live.
Our life was just beginning. We were just getting started. And then everything became a blur. I snapped out of my daydream to realize that the fight had started long ago and that Rowdy was lying, KO’d on the floor of the octagon while medics surrounded him. It was all happening again, just like it had happened a year prior.
I sat back, paralyzed in fear, as I watched them load him up on a stretcher. I chased after them, barely getting through security and having to flash my VIP badge a million times before his coach waved me through.
“Where are they taking him?” I asked his coach.
“Over there,” he said, pointing to a long hallway where medics were wheeling him outside towards an ambulance.
I ran down the hall, chasing after Rowdy and begging them to let me go with him. As we climbed into the back of the cramped ambulance, the medics kept him stabilized whilst all I could do was hold onto his limp hand.
“Is he okay?” I asked them.
“He’s just unconscious, ma’am,” a red-haired medic assured me. “Strong heartbeat. He’s breathing. They’ll need to run tests on him at the hospital. That’s about all I can tell you at this point.”
I hung my head, afraid for Rowdy. Afraid for our his career and our future together. Afraid for everything. Fighting in the pros had changed his life. He lived to fight. He lived to provide for his family. If that was taken away from him, there would be nothing I could do to fix that.
***
“Are you Gia?” a white-coated female doctor said as she walked into his room. We’d been at the hospital for six hours, and after a battery of scans and tests, we were finally about to receive the results.
“Yes,” I said, looking up, still holding onto Rowdy’s hand.
Rowdy sat up, having only been conscious a couple hours at that point, and braced himself for the results.
“So there’s swelling,” she said, almost seeming frustrated. “Lots of swelling. And to be honest, I’m not sure how you were ever cleared to fight after the last time. They sent me your medical records and this isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?”
“Nope,” I chimed in.
She opened her mouth to speak and then paused. “I really hate to do this to you. I really do. But I can’t clear you to fight again.”
Rowdy hung his head, biting into his lip angrily. “Why not?”
“You’re one hard hit away from possibly becoming a vegetable,” she said. “Worst case scenario. Best case scenario, you develop more and more brain damage with every hit and after a few years, you’re not going to be the same man you are right now.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“Extensive, long-term brain damage changes you,” the doctor said. “It can change your personality, your likes and dislikes, make you more irritable, prone to lots of headaches…”
Rowdy sipped in a long breath and sunk back into the pillows that propped him up in his bed. I rubbed his hand.
“Rowdy, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
CHAPTER 27
Rowdy threw his bag on the floor the second we entered the apartment. He kicked off his shoes and flung them across the room.
“Rowdy,” I said sternly. “Please. Calm down. You’re scaring me.”
I’d never seen him that angry before. Ever. He spun around to say something to me and then stopped, stomping down the hallway and going into our bedroom. The door slammed, scaring me, and I stood, frozen, hoping he’d come out and apologize. But that never happened.
I tiptoed down the hall and carefully opened the door. Rowdy was laying on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. His Hercules body heaving and his mind obviously reeling.
I sat down, softly, on the edge of the bed, and placed my hand on his thigh. “Hey. Let’s talk.”
“What’s there to talk about, Gia?” he asked, seething. “So much for my career, huh. Just like that. Over. Done.”
“We always knew this day would come,” I said, gently. “It was a gamble. You knew that. You knew it was a risk.”
“But why,” he said, his eyes pleading. “Why now? We’re about to have a baby. Our life’s just getting started. How am I supposed to support a family now, huh?”
“You can always work for your dad in the shop, can’t you?” I suggested.
“Yeah, psh,” he scoffed. “I’ll go back to being a fucking mechanic in fucking Wagner, Utah. Hope you like fucking food stamps ‘cause I don’t know how that salary’ll support a family.”
“I’m not worried about that at all,” I said, trying to stay positive. “I’m a nurse remember. I can always find a job too. We’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you to have to work,” he said. “I want to take care of you. And the baby. And I want you to always be there for the baby. I’m not shoving the kid in some daycare because I can’t afford to be the sole provider.”
“Rowdy…” I began, trying to find the right words. “Everything is going to be fine. I promise. We have each other, baby. That’s all that matters.”
“Things were finally turning around for me, you know?” he said, fighting back emotion that so badly wanted to consume him. “I was some punk ass kid from Wagner, grew up in the trailer court, druggie mom, never went to college. And then this happens. And just like that, it’s over.”
He buried his head in his hands, not wanting me to see him weak, but I pulled them down. “Listen, you’re not that guy. N
ot anymore. You’re someone else. You’re Rowdy Matthews. My boyfriend, no, my fiancé. Father of a beautiful baby on the way. You’re an amazing man. Fighter or not. And I love you so much. I’m not going anywhere. Correction – we’re not going anywhere.”
I moved his hand to my tiny belly, and his face instantly softened for a split second.
“This,” I said, pressing his hand into my flesh. “This is the only thing that matters right now.”
“Everything I’ve worked for, Gia,” he said, his bitterness returning with a vengeance. “Gone. Poof. It’s never coming back. Ever.”