by Lark Maren
“Fields!” my boss’s voice boomed from behind the swinging doors next to the bar. “I need you in the kitchen.” I held my tablet over my ass as I walked through the restaurant, not wanting to give Mr. Creepy any more bait for his spank bank.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Did I screw up a slip?”
“I don’t even know how to say this,” he said, running his fingers through his beard. “It’s Areal. She can’t be here.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “You hire people her age to wash the dishes. It’s not like I’m breaking any laws. She’s just minding her own in the break room. Why are you doing this to me? You know I’m doing the best I can.”
“Tonya, you either take her home, or I call the police,” he said sternly. “It’s my only option.”
“Call the police? For what? A teenage girl doing her homework? Are you outside your mind?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “Let me guess. She’s not doing her homework.”
I followed him back into the office, where my sister was sitting in his desk chair, spinning around in circles. “Oh hey, sister,” she said in a singsong voice. “You ever tried this before?”
“I’m sorry, Tonya. I found her in the liquor room. She put a hefty dent in a bottle of Don Julio. Expensive taste for a kid.”
“I’m sorry. I promise I will pay for it at the end of my shift. I don’t have any cash on me,” I said. My skin was crawling and my blood was boiling, and there she was just spinning in circles, laughing, like it was all a joke. Like life was a joke.
“Tonya, we need to have a serious talk,” he said.
“Oh, come on,” I pleaded. “It was a misunderstanding. You know I’m an amazing worker. The customers love me!”
“I’m not saying you’re not an amazing worker, but the last couple months I don’t even know if you’re going to show up half the time. You’re constantly late, constantly calling off, having to leave in the middle of your shifts because of emergencies… it’s really not fair to the rest of the staff.”
His half ass pity diatribe was cut short by the sound of Areal’s puking. On one hand, it was pretty much the perfect expression of how I was feeling at that very moment, but on the other, it just made me even more angry with her. How could she be so careless? How could she not see what she was doing to me? To us? To our future.
“Can you get her out of here? I can’t have this on my hands,” my boss said.
“Well, watch where you step, or it’s going to be on your shoes,” I said, helping Areal up from the chair. “And it probably wasn’t the liquor that made her puke. It was probably those shitty two-week-old chicken wings you try and pawn off on your customers, you cheap ass.”
I went into attack mode because I didn’t know what other mode to go into. I felt like an epic failure. I couldn’t even keep my sister safe when she was right under my nose. I couldn’t even keep a job at the bottom of the food chain. I was fucked.
“Do you need to go to the hospital?” I asked as we walked down the hallway, her staggering back and forth all the way.
“No,” she said with a giggle. “Aunt Mae and I drink like… ninety-nine times that much.”
“Great,” I said, the insult to injury not doing anything to pull me out of my overwhelming frustration. “Maybe you should go live with her, then. Obviously you’ll be better off there. I can’t control you, and now, thanks to this bullshit, I can’t even afford you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
I gulped as the words came out of my mouth. I was doing exactly what I swore I would never do. I was admitting defeat. Trying to pawn her issues off on someone else. Instead of taking it like a woman, taking care of my own, I was letting the system roll me over once again. I stood outside the back door of Phil’s wishing I still smoked. Wishing I could take back what I just said a million times over. She stood there smirking at me, like she’d just pulled one over on me. She won.
She already knew she won long before I got fired. Probably long before she got into the liquor. A red Cadillac SUV pulled right up to the landing. Rap music rattled the windows before she even had the chance to roll it down.
“I figured you could use a hand,” my Aunt Mae said with a condescending sneer. “Take the night off, relax. I got this.”
“Mae, what are you doing here?” I leaned up against the SUV, whispering loudly through the window as I held Areal back with my arm. “Did you guys plan this?”
“Plan what? She called me, said she was bored and didn’t have anybody to talk to. I figured I could take her off your hands for the night while you worked.”
“She’s wasted,” I said.
Mae just laughed. I couldn’t quite see the humor in any part of this situation.
“Reminds me so much of someone else I used to come save from boredom all the time. You just don’t worry, Tonya. Come on, Areal. Let’s go get some french fries to soak all that up. She’ll be fine. You just go back to work.”
Areal got in the car, not saying a word to me.
“Don’t come crying to me when all your wishes don’t come true,” I said. “You leave here with her and everything changes. You walk out on me, and that’s it.”
“What is wrong with you, Tonya?” Mae shrieked. “Don’t say things like that to her. She’s just a kid. She’s going through a rough patch. Have a little compassion.”
“She’s drunk as a skunk and just got me fired. She’s old enough to know better. She knows exactly what she did.”
I nearly gasped as Areal started rolling the window up.
“Love you, babe!” Mae said. “I’ll call you in the morning.” With that, they pulled off. My blood came to a complete boil. As usual, Areal got exactly what she wanted. Mae got exactly what she wanted. I, on the other hand, was stuck standing here like a fool, worse off than I was yesterday.
I trudged through the parking lot, swearing under my breath, cursing everyone and everything, cursing myself for even getting put in this position. All I was trying to do was do right by my sister, to give her the life I never had. She was too spoiled to see that. Too spoiled to meet me in the middle and help me out.
I swung open the door to my shitty old car with a loud squeal, sinking down into the worn-out seat. Restaurant jobs were a dime a dozen, but starting at the bottom of the food chain was the worst. First you had to train for weeks on end and usually didn’t get tips during that time. Then, when you were ready to work on your own, you always got the shittiest shifts and the slowest sections. Not to mention finding somewhere that would work around my football schedule. I’d probably have to sit this season out.
I had nothing.
I was a huge loser. Even my teenage sister was smart enough to see it. I let the system roll me over. No matter how hard I worked, there was always someone waiting to kick me in the face. Why couldn’t I be like Mae? Why couldn’t I have been born into a family like Ella Morgan? What did I ever do to end up like this.
I pulled out my phone and texted Lucy to see if she wanted to hit the clubs. Bad decision-making seemed like the best possible cure for this current situation.
Chapter Seven
Ella:
My mom and I sat on the suede sofa, cuddled up together underneath a big furry blanket as we watched the filming of her most recent production on the big TV. She was a highly sought after set designer and every time I saw one of her plays, there was no denying why. She had this subtle way of knowing exactly how to make things spectacular and creative, but completely appropriate, flowing; she made everything she did look so easy.
I was in awe of my mother’s talents and also jealous. Why didn’t I inherit that something? That something I was so obsessed with that I didn’t care what I got paid to do it, that something I had to do. That something that I loved and excelled at and was willing to work my fingers off for?
“We put timers on those swings,” she said, pointing out the way the swing set off to the side of the stage seemed to move in perfect time with the music, a detail maybe few w
ould notice, but just added to the entire ambiance ever so slightly.
“How’d you get so smart?” I asked, pinching her toe. “I can barely keep track of flossing my teeth.”
“You’re so smart, babe,” she said. “I’m sure once you find that thing, you will be the best in the world. It was a lot harder when I was coming up. I was a lot hungrier than you’ve ever had to be, literally. I couldn’t take my time and figure out what I wanted from my life. I had to work or I would starve. Your father and I never wanted that for you. Someday you’re going to outshine the both of us.”
I had a hard time believing that. Right now I just felt like a benign mole. Not really serving any function, but not bothering anybody, either. Being as rich or strong or recognized as either of my parents was a ludicrous thought. I appreciated all they gave to me, but I wanted to be hungry.
“I’m taking over Dad’s football team,” I said with a shrug. I wasn’t sure exactly how long that was going to last given my less than warm reception. To those women I wasn’t just some benign mole. I was the plague. “I’m going to try and turn it around. Make it profitable. You should see these women. They are the most talented athletes, and nobody even knows they exist. It’s sad, really.”
“Football, huh?” she asked, raising her eyebrow. “That’s… different. How’s it coming along so far?” She didn’t look disgusted, but more confused than anything. My mother was the kind of woman who wore her emotions on her sleeve, and that’s what I liked the most about her. She was always encouraging, but she wasn’t afraid to ask a lot of questions. She knew I’d always be honest with her. She was my best friend in so many ways.
“Not great,” I said with a sigh. “I’m trying to be helpful, but nobody likes me. They think I’m some stuck-up bitch. They call me cupcake. They can’t separate me from Dad. They think I’m just a spoiled kid who is playing with his money.”
“And what do you think?”
“I don’t blame them.”
She wrapped her arms around me, and I rested my head on her shoulder. She brushed her fingers through my hair in that comforting way that mothers tend to do, a momentary band-aid on my scraped heart. I didn’t know why it hurt so bad. I was used to being treated differently because of who I was, but I had the resources to help the team. Why weren’t they willing to take advantage of that?
“You’re not a stuck-up bitch or a spoiled brat. We raised you better than that.”
“There’s this one girl… Tonya…” I said. I couldn’t even finish my sentence. Just the thought of her made me feel all torn up inside. She obviously hated me and distrusted me and wanted nothing to do with me, and it just made me want to chase her down even harder, get down on my knees and beg her to like me. Beg her to love me.
“You have a crush on her?”
“More. But she won’t even give me the time of day. She’s turning the whole team against me. I told her about the changes I was going to make to the team, and she stormed out.”
“Well, what have you done to earn her trust? I’m sure as soon as Tonya gets to know you a little better, she’ll see what a great woman you are.”
“Now you’re just being over the top, Mom,” I said, laughing through my sadness. “But you’re right. Maybe I should reach out to her personally. See if she wants to talk over dinner or something?”
“That’s the spirit,” my mom said with a smile.
I jumped up from the couch and grabbed my cellphone. I pulled up the team roster and found her phone number. My heart raced as I clicked on it.
“Call or text?” I asked.
“Definitely call. Leave a voicemail if she doesn’t answer. Be friendly, but also professional.” Good call. If I was professional, she wouldn’t think I was just some desperate weirdo hitting on her. I could always use the team as a buffer.
“Seriously, if she says yes, will you come with us? Tell me what to say?”
My mom started cracking up. “You’ve been on a million dinner dates. You didn’t want me at any of them before. I think you’re getting too far in your head.”
“Who’s got a date?” my dad asked, plopping down on the couch next to my mother. “You just got back in town. Please tell me I don’t have to share you with anybody else.”
“It’s not a date,” I said. “I’m just calling Tonya to see if she wants to go grab some drinks or dinner and talk about the state of the Lady Cats.”
“What? Who is Tonya?”
“She’s the cornerback. Everybody listens to what she says. I think if I can get through to her, then I can start making positive changes on the team.”
“From a business perspective, that doesn’t sound right to me,” he said. “It’s not responsible to fraternize with the players. You are at the top of the ladder. Any changes you want made on the team go down to management. That’s how this works.”
“I don’t know, honey,” my mom said. “Obviously how things were being run before isn’t working. Maybe a softer approach might help.”
“You take clients out for drinks all the time!” I said.
“Exactly. I take clients out for drinks. I don’t take the whole construction crew. There’s a chain, love. You start breaking down that chain, you break down the integrity of the business.”
I didn’t like what he was saying, because I knew he was right. Getting involved with Tonya was kind of risky. If she decided she didn’t like me, it could compromise my position as the CEO. She could tell all her teammates I was being inappropriate and that would be the end of my short-lived career as football team owner.
She was worth the risk.
“You said it’s my team; I’m going to do it my way,” I said, walking off to my bedroom. My mom pumped her fist in the air in celebration as I looked over my shoulder. I shut the door behind me and sat down on my bed, taking a deep breath, trying to calm the shaking in my hands.
“Friendly but professional,” I reminded myself. Cool, confident, the kind of girl who could keep up with Tonya. The kind of girl she’d like.
I was surprised when she answered on the second ring.
“Uhh… hey…” I muttered. So much for cool, confident, and professional.
Chapter Eight
Tonya:
I nodded as the bartender grabbed the empty pitcher of beer off the bar top.
“Keep ’em coming,” I said. By the time I got ahold of Lucy she was already out with a couple other girls on the team for five-dollar pitchers down in the South Side. Even five-dollar pitchers sounded like a splurge, but I could worry about that tomorrow. Tonight I just wanted to forget. Even if it was just for a temporary release, I just wanted to escape the drudgery that was my life as a whole. If that involved a few too many cheap beers and a sloppy hookup with Lucy in the bathroom, it wouldn’t be the first time.
“Are you alright?” Laurie asked, turning her barstool towards me. “You never get to come out on Tuesdays. Aren’t you usually working?”
I strapped on the biggest fake smile I could fathom and nodded. “Not anymore.”
“Fuck,” she said, her voice low. “Did you at least go out in some sort of spectacular fashion?”
“No, but my sister did. Apparently she has a taste for expensive tequila. Good thing she has good old Aunt Mae to swoop in and save the day.” The more beer I drank, the less I cared. I was only trying to save Areal from learning the hard way that sometimes people who come off as nice aren’t exactly the way they appear, especially if they were the kind of people who thought they could buy your love. I was trying to save her from the same heartbreak, but maybe she needed to learn a tough lesson for herself. Maybe I’d earned myself a break from playing surrogate mommy. Maybe it was time to be me. The hot mess ho who didn’t care about anybody or anything was a much easier role to fill than breadwinner, therapist, tutor, and disciplinarian. The only place I needed to take charge was on the football field and in the bedroom. The rest of the world could just fend for themselves.
My phone rang, a local numbe
r I didn’t recognize, and in my condition I assumed it was either somebody I met on Tinder and forgot about or somebody from Phil’s wanting to give me my job back. Neither option sounded too awful. I was kind of pleased when a woman was on the other line. She almost sounded cute.
“Uhhh… hey…” she said with one of those nervous little warbles. “Is this Tonya?”
“It depends,” I said, standing up from my barstool and walking out the front door into the cold evening air, away from the booming jukebox and raucous laughter inside. “Are you calling with good news or bad news? Is this about a late bill, because all I have on me are IOUs.”
“It’s me, Ella. I’m sorry to bother you, I just… well… we didn’t exactly get off on the right foot and I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to meet up and maybe we can talk about some stuff and I’ll buy you dinner or whatever…” She was rambling on and on and I’d kind of tuned her out as soon as I realized it was Cupcake. She was the last person I wanted to deal with tonight, and I wasn’t in any condition to talk business, not that I ever planned on doing so with her to begin with. Still, I wasn’t in any position to turn down a free dinner, and my teammates would probably appreciate the free drinks. Perhaps if she saw us outside the stadium she’d realize how out of her league she really was. Maybe she’d leave us alone once and for all.
“We’re at The Bar,” I said. “You know where that is?” I highly doubted a girl like Ella ever set foot in this place.
“Actually, it was one of my favorite spots back in college,” she said confidently. “Are you going to be there for a minute?”