by Guerin Zand
The women in the room seemed to find that amusing. “What are you talking about, Milly? I totally understand women. Perhaps it’s you women who don’t understand me?”
“See what I mean?” That was all Milly had to say about that.
Chapter 16
Back to Earth
Down on the first floor of the main facility on Athenia, where we had the main dining hall, we had a few private dining rooms that we’d been using for meetings until we got further along with the construction of our new base. This was going to be Roger’s first meeting after having worked out our issues with the Collective and Julie concerning our base construction plans. I had heard through some back channels that Roger had come up with an assignment for me. I had been expecting to continue on as I had in the past, basically doing whatever I pleased, so his having made plans for me was a bit of a surprise. The real surprise though was the mission he had in mind for me. It made absolutely no sense to me if what I had heard was true.
When I entered the room, the whole gang was there. There was my entire family as well as Roger, Katie, Diane, and Steve. Then there was Senri, Jackie, Timmy, Kelly and Ted Andrews, the equivalent of Kelly from the Discovery. They all seemed to have been waiting for me even though I was a bit early to the meeting. It had the feeling of some sort of an intervention, so I instantly went on the defensive.
“What’s this I heard, Roger? You want me to go to Earth and play babysitter for Nancy for a while? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Did you not agree to do as you were asked as part of this team if I agreed to take command of this new operation?”
“Sure, but I didn’t think you were going to play stupid little games like this, Roger. Any half-witted monkey could keep Nancy safe.”
“Then he picked the perfect guy for the job, Dad.”
“Very funny, Maria, but I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Guerin, please take a seat and hear us out first.” Katie saying please took me by surprise, so I simply did as she asked. Katie saying please? What the fuck was going on here?
“Thank you.” Ok, I don’t know how much of “nice” Katie I could take. “As you know, there has always been a fringe element of religious fanatics that have objected to our interactions with any and all aliens. For the most part, the Terran governments have kept a leash on these groups. Replacing Roger with Nancy, a Cyletherean, has not gone over very well with a lot of people in those governments, and in some sort of a protest we assume, they have loosened that leash a bit. There have been public death threats against Nancy and her staff.”
“So, send a team of Rangers, and problem solved.”
“One riot, one Ranger, right, Guerin?”
“Come on, Roger. I can handle Katie blowing a little smoke up my ass, but not you as well.”
“Think about it for a second, Guerin. If we send you, the person they’d least like to see back in the Terran system, we’ll be making a statement. They can either handle this problem on their own, or they can deal with you until they decide to change their ways.” I gave Roger a disbelieving look. “Besides, Nancy is looking forward to spending a little time with you. So, what’s the big deal? You could use a break.”
“What’s this really about, Roger.” Roger knew I wasn’t buying it, so he looked over to his wife for help.
“Besides what Roger just said, we all kind of agree that after the last little stunt you and Diane pulled, it would be best to keep the two of you apart for a while. Diane needs to concentrate on understanding the technology we’ve got here, not playing around with you seeing who can come up with the best way to shred the fabric of reality. The rest of us would like to live a little while longer if you two don’t mind.” Katie looked at the two of us as she raised an eyebrow. “We need her focused on the job at hand, and not digging around in those archives. You yourself have said that technology is far too dangerous for us to even know about, let alone experiment with.”
“But our last little stunt, as you like to call it, didn’t involve any of that technology. That was simply using the technology we already had in hand. Besides, that was all Diane’s fault. If she hadn’t fucked up the math—”
“I did not fuck up the math. There were just some variables I didn’t account for. The whole time engineering field is a bit fuzzy, and it was just my first attempt.”
“Right, and in plain English, you fucked up the math and almost shredded my sad ass across infinity.”
“It was only three fucking days, not infinity, Guerin. Quit being such a baby about it.”
Roger held up his hand to stop our little argument. “This is what we’re talking about. This is how you two get started, with these arguments. The next thing you know, one of you comes up with an idea. Then you’re both off ready to try another one of your little experiments that could end all creation. Just give the rest of the universe a fucking break, could you two just do that. That’s all we’re asking.”
“But it wasn’t a total waste, Roger. We determined we could keep the ships in a pocket universe when crossing a transit portal, and there are a lot of benefits to that. It’s just we can’t stay in the void like that for an extended period, well, not until we figure out what Diane got wrong.”
“It wasn’t my fault, Guerin. You thought it would work too, didn’t you?”
“Well, yea, but I’m not the hyperdimensional physics expert, am I?”
“Enough! For right now, you two aren’t allowed to play together anymore. That’s that. Besides,” Roger paused, “you need someone watching out for you and that’s what we're doing.”
“So, you don’t trust me?”
“No. In fact, perhaps the opposite. We all sort of laugh when you say you’re being guided somehow, but what if that’s true? Why, after all the shit you’ve pulled, haven’t the Collective replaced you? Any sane being with a limited amount of intelligence would have replaced you with Roger a long time ago, but not the Collective. What’s up with that? And it’s not just the fact that they’ve kept you in charge, but now they all of a sudden give you access to all of this technology, and your own planet?”
“That’s got me a bit stumped as well, Katie. After the Taes incident, I don’t think it was my magical oratory skills that convinced the Collective to let me continue on. Why this planet? A planet where a young Bree once opened a path of some sort to the Guides universe and crossed over. Where I’ve encountered a physical reality where a Guide has spoken to me, and it was as real as we’re speaking now.”
“Ok, Dad. So, you have a new theory on the nature of life, the universe, everything? The answer is not forty-two?” My daughter wasn’t the only one to get a bit of a chuckle out of that one.
“I don’t know yet, this time. I mean, time is not what we think it is, to put it as simply as I can. From our little experiment, I did learn something. At least I think I did. I want to say that all time exists simultaneously, but that’s not right, because it makes no sense to define time in terms of time. It all exists, one moment is not separate from the next. It’s recursive, reiterative, constant, and discreet. There are no known words or concepts to describe what I feel, which makes it so difficult to discuss. It’s literally like Déjà vu, over, and over, and over and over and…” It was as I said, impossible to put words to.
“I think Roger is right, Dad. You need a break.”
“I know you’re all just going to think I’m crazier than ever, but I’m not. I think my crazy level is pretty much a constant. I think that the thing about me that the Collective is interested in is that I seem to be able to sense some sort of reason to these things that have no explanation. It’s like every moment is predestined, in other words, this moment was always going to come to pass, but the effects of the moment, our reactions to it, are not predetermined, yet the end result is. Voltaire said, ‘If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.’, but it’s more like ‘For us to exist, it is necessary for us to create God, and God exists.’
“So, you saw God during your little experiment?”
“No, Katie. It’s just now I’m becoming more comfortable accepting all the nonsense I can’t explain or understand. This whole discussion started when you asked why the Collective is still backing me. I don’t think it’s about that though. They’re not backing me or testing me. They’re observing me to see how I cope with what my tiny mind has to perceive as impossible. I think that a lot of what they’ve told us is bullshit, with just the right amount of fact thrown in to make it believable.
This planet wasn’t just one person’s doing. It was the idea of one person, but he had a lot of supporters and help. At one point, they occupied this planet just like our team is planning on doing. They hit a wall though. A wall where their knowledge, or preconceived notions of existence were so intractable that the fear of what they were seeing made them abandon this research. They scrubbed this place. Removed most of the signs of their presence and hid this system away. Yet they did not destroy their research. They left it here for the ones to come. They left it here for us.”
“Wait a minute, Guerin.” You could see the concern, perhaps fear, in Roger’s expression. “Are you saying you plan on digging into that research? I thought you said what you saw scared you, and that’s why you locked that information away.”
“You’re not listening, Roger. I don’t plan on it, but I know it’s going to happen.” I looked for Roger’s reaction. “Your instant reaction is to try and figure out when I plan on doing it, and that’s wrong. It’s already happened, will happen, and every other sort of tense you can think of. From our perspective of time, it’s not going to be anytime soon. The Bree’s sense of reasoning has stopped them from taking their understanding of existence further. They know that, and at the same time they know that doesn’t apply to us. Their way past this wall is through us. That’s not to say that we won’t hit our own wall. Maybe we’ll need to hand this off to another race, perhaps the Taesrin.
But you can see already how we have used the technology and knowledge the Bree gave us and taken it in different directions that they had never thought of. The star drive that Diane and her teams came up with is a perfect example of this. The little ‘stunt’ Diane and I performed was something they had never considered trying in the past. They were observing our reasoning and methods as much as they were observing our tests. They were content with their portal technology, we weren’t.”
“Then why would they ask us to do the things they’ve asked of us, Guerin? What’s the point in us setting up this space force to solve their issues in the unaligned worlds when there is something more important for us to do? Why didn’t they just dump you off on this planet the first time you met?”
“For the same reason, Roger, that tomorrow morning you will still get up, shower, shit, and shave. We live in the moment, but the moment isn’t the reason for existence. All of our actions add to what is, and all are just as necessary. We shape the past, present, and future with our actions. Reality is constantly making and remaking itself. The past is always changing, yet from our point of view, we are incapable of perceiving that. We all want a simple answer, but that answer does not exist. Imagine this thing we call God, outside of time and space, shaping time like a sculptor shaping clay, until perfection is achieved. Like the second coming, the rapture, or enlightenment. When that happens, we’ll all be sitting around the campfire singing Kumbaya and sipping double chocolate macchiato lattes, and we will have always been.”
“Ok, Dad. You have officially lost it. I didn’t think your little tussle with time was this serious, but obviously I was wrong. You don’t need a break, you need a therapist.”
“Well, that’s like your opinion, Maria.” I shot Maria one of my stupid looks. “I get it. Everyone thinks I’ve lost it again. It’s not like it’s the first time, but fine. I’ll go to Earth for a while. Maybe I’ll take up the tango, or who knows what. I assume everyone will be ok with me taking the Deviant, as well as Phoebe and Mia with me as crew?”
“That should be ok, Guerin. You don’t think you’ll need any more crew than that?”
“No, Roger, unless you don’t think I can be trusted.”
“Come on, Guerin. It’s not like that.”
“Fine. We can be ready to go in a couple of days. We’ll drop Mary Ann, Prima, and Gamma off at Milly’s station on our way to Earth. If that’s all…”
“What about Taes?”
“I wasn’t planning on going. Maria can take Scirla and the rest of the Ryvius’ crew to Taes and deal with whatever the issue is there. After that, I don’t see why we don’t just leave Maria in command of the Ryvius. Does anyone have a problem with that?” No one objected. “Good, then if we’re done here, I need to go start packing for my trip.” I just stood up and left the room. There was really nothing more to say.
◆◆◆
I had called Phoebe and Mia to my room to help me start loading up the Deviant for our trip. They took a few of my guitars and some equipment down to the ship. I instructed them to stock up the galley for a short trip. There really wasn’t that much to pack, but it was the first excuse that I could come up with to leave that meeting. As my crew were leaving the room, Prima came in and found me in the kitchen.
“You’re mad, aren’t you, Guerin?”
“Why would I be mad? I’m fine if everyone wants me to go spend some time on Earth. You’re going to be busy with Gamma on the station, and Scirla and Maria will be busy with Taes. I don’t really have anything else to do.”
“I could always come to Earth with you if you want me to.”
“No. I’m kind of glad that you and Gamma will be spending time together without me. You probably both could use a break. Before Anna died, her and Maria were going off to spend some time together. I wish they had gotten that chance, so I really want you and Gamma to have this time with each other. It won’t be long before she’s off doing whatever, and who knows if you two will ever have the chance again.”
“But, something is bothering you, Guerin. Everyone could tell by the way you left the meeting.”
“It’s Maria. You saw the way she sided against me in the meeting. I don’t know what the problem between us is, but this last year she’s just fought me over everything. After Taes, I thought we’d grown closer, but it seems it’s just the opposite. Whatever it is, I think it’s probably best I just stay out of her way for now, before things get even worse.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help you with Maria, but Scirla and I think that it’s not our place to get in between the two of you. Maria would just think we were interfering and that it wasn’t any of our business. You two are going to have to work things out on your own. I don’t think running away again is the right answer though.”
“I’m not running away. You heard them. They want me to leave, so I’m leaving.”
“You’re just using that as an excuse, Guerin.” Prima knew me too well. “I’m only going to spend a few months with Gamma on the station. As soon as she gets settled in school, I’m sure she won’t want her mother tagging along. Promise me you’ll come and get me then and we’ll both go back to Earth together. That way I can at least keep an eye on you.”
“I promise.”
“And what about Scirla?”
“I thought I’d let Scirla figure that out on her own. After her and Maria get done with Taes, why don’t we let her decide what she wants to do next?”
“You should probably take some time to talk to her before you leave. It may seem to her that you’re pushing her away.”
“I’ll talk to her, and I’m not pushing her away. We don’t know what is going to happen on Taes. If she thinks she needs to stay for a while, or if there is something else she thinks she has to do, I don’t want to pressure her.”
“You really don’t understand women at all, do you Guerin?”
“What do you mean? I have two wives and two daughters. I totally understand women. It’s not like time travel you know.”
Prima
chuckled as she leaned in to kiss me. She stood back and shook her head. “Let’s just hope you do better with time travel.”
Chapter 17
The Cousins
We decided to have a family breakfast the morning before we all left Athenia for our various reasons. Roger and his family joined us as well as Steve, Jackie, and Diane. We still didn’t have a lot of personnel on the base, so the Athenians decided that they would take care of the kitchen duties. They actually were pretty good cooks. In about the time it took you to ask for something, they could download a video of it directly and absorb all the information it contained. While I had been stranded on the planet alone with them, they had learned most of my favorites. We had pancakes, French toast, omelets, eggs cooked to order, and of course, plenty of bacon.
“So, Roger, how are things going with the Collective and the plans for the base upgrade?” I asked as I slipped Alpha a piece of bacon under the table. I was going to miss that dog.
“When I first showed them what we had in mind, they convinced me that we should think a little bigger. What we had planned was indeed more than what we could accomplish on our own, but the construction ship and crew that they are sending is capable of a lot more. We decided to put a time limit of six months on the construction. Then we worked backward from that to determine exactly what they could accomplish in that time. In addition to the hangars and maintenance facilities, they are going to build us a larger manufacturing plant that would increase our current capability by a hundred-fold. To supplement our mining capabilities and provide the raw materials that a plant that size could process, they will leave one of their automated mining ships in orbit. We can use that to mine the asteroids in the system after they have gone.”