I walked onto the porch. It wasn’t late enough to be dark, but I could tell from the peach and red sky that the sun was going to set soon. The front porch felt warm on my bare feet as I walked outside. Ryker sat on the front steps, and I walked to him and sat down beside him. He swung an arm across my shoulders, and I leaned into him as he expected I would, like I always had. He smelled like summer and home, and it was nice, even though he didn’t give me the same rush of feelings that Shad gave me. He was still Ryker, still my best friend—my family.
“How was practice?”
“It was good. I missed it this summer.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I replied, looking at him. He looked different. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair, is it thinning out? Isn’t he way too young for that? Maybe football wore him out.
“How did operation make-everyone-think-I-am-fine go today?”
“Well, pretty well if I do say so myself. I think I am feeling much better these days. You were right; time has helped.”
“I am so proud of you; I know how hard it must be for you. I miss them, too.” He moved his hand from my shoulders and took my hand. I expected to find the gesture sweet, but I wanted to pull away as soon as he took it, and that thought irritated me, and Shad’s face came to my mind. I pushed the thought away because it shocked me. Where is Ryker’s warmth? Am I broken?
“So you and Shad? What is all that about?” I questioned, hoping that he would be open with me like he always used to be. No matter what he said, he just hasn’t been the same since my parent’s death; he was different, just like I was different. Something had changed in him while I was dealing with my sorrow that summer. He wasn’t the same Ryker I remembered, and I wanted to know why. His face showed worry lines, and I wanted to smooth them out and make him smile. Was it something to do with Shad, something to do with me? Was it about my parents?
“I do not trust him.”
“But, you are friends?”
“Yes, I mean, it was a long time ago, I guess.”
“It must have been when you went out of town or something; I don’t remember ever meeting him.”
“Uh, yeah—you remember that summer camp I went to once?” He let go of my hand and stood up, pacing back and forth on the porch.
“Oh, when you were like twelve?”
“Yeah, I met him there.”
“Oh, you don’t seem too thrilled with him.”
“He’s fine, I don’t like that he seems interested in you, though, and I don’t think he is right for you, Em.”
“Isn’t right for me?” My body shook in an unfamiliar anger. For years, I had remembered wondering about Ryker and I, if he would ever make a move. I didn’t know if I actually wished to date him, or just wondered about it, but the truth was Ryker had no right to tell me who to like. I was furious. I would not let him keep doing this to me. “What does that mean? And I am sorry, Ry, but you cannot tell me that every single time I like someone.”
His body tensed. He stopped pacing to look at me. “You like him? How? You just met him.”
“I mean, I met him when he first moved in this summer, and he came into the flower shop once. We talked a bit, and then, just now on the phone—”
He groaned, “Emma, you have got to be kidding me. Have I literally taught you nothing?”
“Ry, what are you talking about?”
“Emma, he is—he is—” he shook his head and stood still as if coming to some conclusion. “Guys like him, Em, they just want one thing.” He lifted his brows, and my face flushed.
“Ry, not that again, please, seriously. I am not in danger of that happening, and if I was, my mom gave me the birds-and-the-bees talk long ago.”
“I really did not need to know that.”
“You brought it up, and why do you always think that is all guys want?”
“I am a guy!” he yelled, spinning around to look at me, anger in his face. “I know because I am a guy, and I know what guys think, Emma!” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Sheesh Ryker, it’s not like I am going to do that—with—him—I mean, Ugh, I cannot believe we are having this conversation. I am not that kind of girl.”
“Yeah, right, Em, maybe not you—but he—”
I covered his mouth with my hand. “Don’t you even go there right now.” My face must have been bright red because his eyes softened, and I knew that he would take pity on me. I moved my hand.
“Okay, I won’t mention it again, but you need to not forget it.” He pointed a finger at me.
“I think he is different.” I stood up and walked away a few feet.
“How do you know, huh?”
I turned around to look at him. “Seriously, Ry, he isn't like that. There is just something about him.”
“What does that mean?” he asked harshly.
“Can you calm down. You are freaking me out, Ry.”
He walked over to me, bringing us inches apart, and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I am sorry, Emma, but when it comes to you, I lose my head sometimes.”
“It’s okay, Ry. I know you care about me. You are a great friend,” I said, pulling him in for a hug.
He grunted. He was trying to scare me away from Shad, but he wasn't using the truth to do it. I could tell, and I wanted to know why.
“Why do you have to date anyways?” he asked, his face in my hair.
“Because I want to,” I answered, thinking about what it would feel like to be in Shad’s arms instead of Ryker’s. I tried to shove that thought away because Ryker had always been my safe place, and I should never compare him and Shad. Also, Shad had an interest in me. Ryker was only a friend.
“Emma, why do you have to grow up?” I pulled away from him and wondered why he talked that way as if he was so much older than I was and as if he were watching a little girl grow.
“I am not some little girl anymore, Ryker. I know you are lying, by the way; I know you want to protect me, but I do not need protecting. I have been through so much, and I have survived it. I can handle things, too, you know. If I trust you, even when you are lying to me, why can't you trust me? Why can’t you tell me why you really don't like him?”
“I know, Emma. You are incredibly strong, but also fragile. You need time; I just don’t want him to hurt you. I am not trying to lie to you—only to keep you safe.”
“Why would he hurt me?” I thought for a moment back to that spring formal with Brian. If Ryker had not come and ruined the whole night, I might have had a real relationship, a real first boyfriend. That hurt. His protecting of me hurt. Ryker has always hurt me, even if I could not feel it before, I feel it now, I thought. He always told me what to do. He didn’t keep my secrets from my parents, and he never let me have a relationship other than with him. I loved Ryker, but maybe having even more space from him, other friends, other people in my life other than just him was a good thing. I thought back to Brian at the dance. Nothing was going to happen at that dance except maybe me falling for Brian. My dad had loved how protective Ryker was of me, but it was starting to feel like too much. He has always protected me too much.
“People hurt other people. That's how it is here,” his voice turned into a whisper at the end of his words.
“Ryker, you really need to chill out a bit. I am going to be fine. Unless you can tell me something really wrong with him, I am not buying this whole ‘he isn't good enough for you’ game again. I am tired of that.”
“You know, there was a time when you would do anything I said,” he growled at me.
I turned away from him, unfamiliar with his tone and hating how I used to always do exactly what he said, but I wasn’t that same girl anymore, not some numb robot.
“Well, I am not a kid anymore.”
“That is apparent,” he angrily responded as he clenched his fists.
“What is going on with you? I have been interested in boys before, and you never got so worked up.”
“I just don’t like him.” He shrugged
his shoulders, turning from me. “It was a hard practice today, too. I am out of shape, I am tired, and, look, I am sorry. I just—your dad would want me looking out for you.” He again brushed his fingers through his hair.
“Do you think about him ever?” I whispered, not able to stop myself before the words came spilling out of my mouth.
“Almost every day. He was a great man—an incredible friend, to me,” he reminded me softly.
“He loved you, Ry. You know that, right?”
He shrugged, turning his face away from me.
“Are you sure you are okay?” I walked closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I am a little worried about you. You look—worn out, and you have never yelled at me before.”
“I am just tired. I am sorry I yelled. I've been up late, doing some research.”
“Research, for what?”
“Never mind, I—I better go. I need some sleep.” He rubbed his face, and it broke my heart to see him so different, as if he were lost.
“You really okay, Ryker?” I wrapped my arms around him, my face on his chest, and his hands wrapped around me tight. He drew circles up my back as he held me. I did not know how long we stood there, but I would have stood there for a hundred years if it could make Ryker feel better. I ached for his warmth, but it was absent. This was for Ryker, not for me, though. I was comforting him, and I would do whatever I could to help him.
“I love you, Ry,” I whispered as I pulled away. He took my face in his hands and traced my features with his index finger. I smiled as he reached my nose. He had done that since we were little kids, as if checking to make sure that I was real.
He smiled and blew in my face. I laughed as he said: “And I you, Em.” He pulled away from me then, and quickly walked from my yard to his.
Pool Party
“YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE the coolest aunt,” Ash said as she walked into my backyard the next day afterschool. Mary had, indeed, outdone herself. I honestly did not expect anything less because Mary loved to throw a good party. While she was going to be home, she promised that she would stay inside and not embarrass me. I laughed because she was not embarrassing at all. She honestly felt like an older sister to me most of the time.
“Did I hear someone say that I was the coolest?” Mary stood behind a table of drinks as she organized them. She wore a pretty, pink dress, and her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. She was always effortlessly beautiful, the way my mom had always been.
“Mary, this is Ash,” I said motioning to Ash to come over to the drink table.
“Nice to meet you, Ash. You are new to town?” Mary asked with a friendly smile that seemed forced. That is odd. I continued to watch as they shook hands over the table. Mary watched Ash closely as if waiting for Ash to burst into flames any second.
“Yes, I moved over the summer. I talked to Ryker, too.” Ash said, dropping Mary’s hand.
“Oh how wonderful, glad to hear that. How nice—well, I hope you two have fun,” Mary said, clapping her hands in front of her. I noticed as she spoke, her tone changed back to her normal cheerful self. Odd, am I imagining things now, reading way too much into things?
Ash smiled.
“Well, we need to get our suits on; people may be showing up any minute. I have no idea how many because this kind of got away from me,” I admitted.
“Seriously, who knew I would be besties with the most popular girl at school?” Ash giggled as we walked to the sliding glass door.
“I am so not popular, Ash.”
“I mean, you’re not a cheerleader, and thank heaven because they are always too stuck up. But, you are the kind of popular where people respect you, not fear you or want to outdo you.”
I turned to her. “What?” I was completely confused.
“Everyone knows you, and everyone has good things to say,” she shrugged.
“Except Karen Manning—she hates me.”
Ash laughed. “I stay away from the cheerleaders of the world—so what’s up with Ryker? You like him?”
I tried to stop my insides from squirming and was surprised to find that I didn’t need to. Instead, I found myself saying: “He is my best friend, more like a brother really. I have known him for forever. He is annoyingly protective of me.”
“I totally get it. I have this guy, he is a family friend, and he keeps pretending to be like all-protective-brother, too, and it gets so annoying,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “Anyways, I know Ryker was a little bent out of shape about Shad, but if I talk to Ryker and hang with him, you can get to know Shad.”
“Wow, that would be nice, actually.”
“I want you to know he’s not my type, but I will help you,” Ash assured me.
“I appreciate it. I haven’t really ever seen him date before,” I shrugged, realizing for the first time in my life that truth. Why? Why had he never dated? Over the years, he was asked plenty of times, and I always remember him saying “no” or telling me about someone asking him and him refusing. That was odd.
“Well, that’s strange. He is smokin’—” she fanned herself.
I laughed, “Do people really say that?”
“I just did,” she shrugged. We walked toward my bedroom. I changed in the bathroom down the hall and let Ash have my room to change. I met her back inside my room and noticed that the lavender rose was on my bed.
“Did you move that?” I asked picking up the flower and placing it back on my dresser.
“Oh, what?” she replied, looking at herself in my full-length mirror.
“This rose over here?” I called to her.
“No, I don’t know what you mean,” she responded, walking out.
“Never mind,” I said, taking in her suit. “Love your suit.” It was a green, one-piece, low cut suit but still covered all the basics.
“Thanks, it’s old but the only one I’ve got,” she smiled. “I didn’t think to bring a cover-up, which would have been smart.”
“Oh, I have tons of them. They are in that drawer there. Have your pick,” I said, pulling my hair back into a high ponytail while motioning to the correct drawer with my elbow. She pulled out a black dress cover-up, and even though she was shorter than me, we seemed to be the same size.
“You ready?” I asked, turning to her. “I think I heard the doorbell. There are probably a few people already here.”
“Yes, let’s have the time of our lives,” she said, pulling me from my room, our arms linked together. I could not help but like her. She was so nice, and she made being her friend very easy.
IT WAS TWO HOURS INTO the pool party, and I was over by the speakers when I first heard Ryker’s booming call. I turned from the drink table to where I had heard Ryker.
“Emma!” I walked over to where Ryker stood beside Ash at the edge of the pool.
“Hey, Ry, you finally made it,” I gave him a quick hug and smiled.
“Of course—wouldn’t miss this rager.”
I looked around, and there were what appeared to be fifty or so students from our school, way more than I had expected. People were dancing, swimming, eating, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was hoping that Shad would have been there by then. I knew Ryker had practice, and that was why he had arrived two hours late but, what was keeping Shad? Did he really have such a long shift at work? Was Shad as busy as Ryker had suggested?
“Yeah, who would have thought?” I shrugged.
“Me, I knew it,” Ash said with a grin. “You want to go swim, Ryker?”
“Oh, yeah, sure,” he said, running fingers through his hair. Ash smiled at me. I watched as Ryker stripped off his shirt to reveal an athlete’s body. He was bulky with big muscles from all the hard work of playing football. I knew he was a very attractive boy, and I watched as Ash’s eyes grew large, taking him in. I tried not to laugh. Ryker did not seem to even notice.
“See you later, Em,” Ryker said before he dove straight into the water. I sat down in a chair in the corner of the yard and wat
ched all the people I had known for years talk and mingle in my yard. It was so weird to me, seeing them all at my home. I was grateful to Ash and Mary for helping with the party, even if I wasn’t exactly in the party mood. That was when I noticed him, stepping through the glass sliding door of my house. His hair was perfectly styled as it always was. He wore black, skinny slacks and a white, buttoned, collared shirt with a dark red, skinny tie and a black belt. I wondered if he had ever attended a pool party before, because his outfit was severely lacking in pool party vibes. I watched as girls in bikinis made their way to him. He smiled with polite smiles but keeping his gaze at eye level as he did so. He walked on, looking around my yard. I hoped he was looking for me.
I stood up and made my way to the food table, trying not to show that I had just been staring at him.
“There you are. It would seem at your own party, you are hard to find.” I turned around to see his handsome face, looking at me. I took in steady breaths, as again, a familiar song seemed to emerge between us. I could hardly breathe.
The Heir Page 9