No Love Lost

by Lexi Blake

  “Don’t tell me.” Drake’s voice came over as a whisper. “I want to see if I can find it.”

  He knew. He knew something was here. Ezra felt every muscle in his body flood with adrenaline. “I’m going to be waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.”

  “No. You’re going to stay right here. He can’t hear us moving around if we’re still,” Kim said, her voice low. “Sit down, Beck. You have to be patient. You have to trust Tag.”

  He didn’t want to be patient. He didn’t want to trust anyone. Over the last year he’d come to depend on the men they’d called the Lost Boys, but they were off on their own now, living their own lives.

  Drake came into view after agonizing moments. He walked past the camera and Ezra breathed a sigh of relief. It didn’t last long because Drake moved into frame again, his back to the camera. He stayed there for a moment, still as a ghost.

  He eased the safety off the gun.

  “Don’t, Beck,” Kim whispered. “You can’t kill him. If he opens that door, I’m going in.”

  He wasn’t sure he could allow that, but he snapped the safety back on and held his breath as Drake stepped up to the panel that hid the door and put a hand on it.

  “Tag said you were good.” Rene’s voice was barely above a whisper.

  Kim’s shoulders sagged. “Oh, thank god.”

  Drake turned, and as though he knew exactly where the camera was and who was watching, he gave a wink and walked away. “I’ll need to inspect the kitchen, too. I want to be able to say I was thorough. And your office.”

  “Of course,” Rene said. “The Velvet Collar is completely open.”

  “Tag knows him.” He sank back onto the chair and reached for her hand, tugging on it.

  She let herself be pulled onto his lap, and after a brief moment of awkwardness, cuddled against him. “I told you to trust him.”

  “No, I told you to trust him.” He loved the feel of her against him. He let himself really breathe for the first time since Levi had entered the building. He wanted to walk downstairs and kill the fucker, but she needed more than that. Eliminating Levi wouldn’t solve all of their problems. “And it’s all good now.”

  “He’s still not out of the building,” she said with her head on his shoulder. “I won’t feel safe until then. And safe is a relative term.”

  Didn’t he know it? They wouldn’t be safe for a very long time, but at least he knew Levi wouldn’t come storming up the stairs. They had a shot, and after the night before, that shot wasn’t all about surviving.

  He’d felt more the night before than in the last decade without her. Maybe it was time to start talking about what happened, to start thinking about forgiveness. Being angry with her had done nothing but cost them years, and god he’d missed this soft feeling. He’d missed giving her the things she needed, being a part of her world. It was easy to fall back into old habits, and sitting with her, just breathing her in, was a habit he remembered so well.

  “Damon had to have given Ezra the go-ahead,” Levi was saying. “I suspect some of the London team was there, too.”

  “Take that up with Damon,” Tag shot back. “Man, I am running on very little sleep. I’ve got a newborn at home and now I have to figure out what that girl upstairs has been through and how to help her. I do not give a flying fuck about Agency games. As far as I’m concerned, Ezra Fain is on his own.”

  “I suppose you’ll let me into Sanctum, then.”

  “If that’s what it takes to get the Agency off my back, but you need to understand that there will be no more favors. You feel free to fly in and inspect my private property and then we’ll be done, and I’m not talking about you and me,” Tag explained. “You mean less than nothing to me. I’m talking about your bosses who love to come whining to me that they need help. My door will be closed.”

  “I suppose that goes for Miles and Dean, too. It must be handy to have that ax to wield,” Levi complained.

  “Is he talking about Adam Miles?” Kim asked, not looking up. She had her face buried in the crook of his neck.

  Big Tag was making a power play. “Adam’s facial identification software is something the Agency is very interested in, but he’s smart. He’s kept most of the really innovative programming completely private. He’s got a server that no one can touch, and I’m sure they’ve tried.”

  “That is smart because the Agency would steal it and use it however they want.”

  Well at least she was willing to admit the Agency had a dark side.

  “Adam makes his own decisions,” Tag replied with a weary sigh. He obviously wasn’t faking his tiredness. “You’ll have to talk to him.”

  Levi snorted. “You know damn well he won’t take my calls. And when he won’t take my boss’s calls, I wonder who they’re going to blame. So that’s your play.”

  Even through the screen Ezra could feel the weight of Tag’s stare as the man replied. “I’m not playing. That’s what you need to understand. I don’t know why Ezra did what he did. I don’t know if Damon had anything to do with it. I don’t care right now. All I care about is my family and getting home to them. So if you want to push me, you’ll find out what happens when I do play.”

  “He’s very intimidating when he wants to be,” Kim murmured.

  Ezra stared at the screen, watching every move Levi made. He still didn’t completely trust that this was over. It wouldn’t be until Levi was on another continent, and even then they would still have problems.

  “I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary,” Drake said as he reentered the lobby, coming down the stairs. “Mr. DuBois was very forthcoming. As far as I can tell there’s nowhere to have hidden them. I inspected every room and saw no evidence that anyone is living here. Like I tried to tell you before, I think they’re still in England. I would like to take a look at Knight’s country home.”

  “I told you Knight isn’t being very forthcoming,” Levi replied through clenched teeth.

  “Have you thought about the fact that Solo has multiple homes and likely still has plenty of cash?” Drake asked. “My profile of her was pretty plain. She’s got several places she would be able to go, and bank accounts I think she would hide from everyone. She’s got the resources to go to ground for years. I think we’ve seen the last of her.”

  “Absolutely not. She won’t go away,” Levi insisted.

  Drake turned to him. “Why? Criminals usually run and hide when they’re caught. Criminals with Solo’s resources are generally never heard from again if they’re smart, and I believe Solo’s smart. I still don’t fully understand why she would work with a person like McDonald unless she was undercover.”

  “I told you, I know Solo better than anyone.” Levi stood in front of the kid. “I don’t need you to profile her. The evidence against her is unassailable.”

  Drake merely shrugged one lanky shoulder. “I still think she’s not going to resurface for a long time. Like I said, she’s highly intelligent, and if she believes she’s been caught, she’ll hide.”

  “She’s very dumb if she thinks she can get away from me,” Levi replied. “But I can see I’m going to get nowhere with Tag. I’ll deal with this on my own. There’s more than one way to handle this. I can see I’ll have to use some finesse.” He looked to Tag. “Tell Solo when you see her—and I don’t believe for a second you won’t—that this is far from over.”

  He turned on his ridiculously expensive loafer and strode out.

  “He’ll likely still be watching,” Kim said, and he noticed she wasn’t as relaxed as she had been.

  “I don’t know. He won’t have much manpower.” He knew how the Agency worked. Levi had his one real shot at bringing her in. He wouldn’t be allowed to keep ten operatives working at all times. He might get an analyst or two watching the web for any evidence of her whereabouts, but that would be it. If Drake really could convince him to go back to England, they would be safe. They could wait a week or two here and then begin the slow move to Dallas.
“We’ll have to wait and see.”

  “Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. DuBois.” Drake nodded the club owner’s way. “Your building is lovely. Mr. Taggart, I wish you luck with your family. I think we’ll be going back to England, and then perhaps looking at some other places where Solo might have hidden. I doubt we’ll bother you for a while.”

  Drake turned and walked out.

  Ezra reached over and flipped the laptop lid down. “Excellent, now we can take a breath and relax for a few minutes. Kiss me.”

  She sat up. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should talk.”

  He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to find a way to use all the adrenaline that had coursed through his body. “We’ve had a stressful morning. If we talk, we’ll likely argue. I know we’re due a really good argument and we’ll have it, but can we have some peace for now?”

  Her hand came up to brush his jaw and she stared in his eyes for a moment as though trying to figure out what to say. Or how honest to be. “I don’t want to fall in love with you again.”

  When she looked at him like that he remembered what it felt like to like himself. “You never fell out.”

  She’d chased after him and he’d treated her like crap. He’d been angry and felt betrayed, but hadn’t he owed her more?

  “But I wish I had because I think you’ll break my heart again. I worry I won’t be able to put it back together. If you break it this time, it’ll die.”

  He seriously doubted that. Her heart was a mighty thing. “If it helps, I don’t think I ever truly fell out of love with you.”

  “You did a good job of convincing everyone.”

  He actually chuckled at the thought. Maybe he’d convinced her, but he hadn’t convinced a lot of the people who knew him. Now that he was here with her, he had to wonder how much he’d fooled himself. “Did I? I think I was good at focusing my anger on you. I know we need to talk about it, but I’m tired. I don’t want to hash it out. I want to pretend like it didn’t happen for one afternoon.”

  “But it did happen, and what do I do if you can’t forgive me?”

  He asked the only question he could. “Did you mean to get my brother killed?”

  She frowned up at him. “Of course not.”

  “You were young and arrogant.” He’d had years to think about it and he’d come to this conclusion. “You thought you could prove you knew more than I did.”

  She’d always been competitive. Even with him when it came to the job. She could be reckless. At least she had been back then. And she’d had a deep desire to prove that she wasn’t merely the rich girl in the group. She’d wanted to belong, and that had led to a tragedy. Did he have to be angry with her for the rest of his life?

  She sighed. “You’re right. I don’t want to fight either.”

  She would probably never admit why she hadn’t followed his advice that day, and he might have to live with it. He didn’t know what was going to happen when they got out of this place, but he knew what he wanted while they were here. He wanted her. He needed this time with her without the influence of anyone else. It was the two of them for now, and maybe that was what it would take to rebuild their relationship. “Then kiss me.”

  She only hesitated for a moment and then she raised her lips to his.

  He stood up, lifted her into his arms, and carried her to the bedroom. Levi wasn’t going to occupy another second of his time.

  But later that night, after he’d finished spending the whole afternoon with her, Levi showed him that he would not be denied.

  * * * *

  Kim glanced at the clock and wondered how long it would be before the light came on and they could go downstairs and play. The club wasn’t open this evening according to Rene, but he worked out of an office upstairs and had a late call. Outside it would already be dark and the city would be bustling with couples going out to dinner and workers heading home. Her own apartment wasn’t far from here, and the lights would have come on. They were on a timer connected to the security system. The soft lights would be on and anyone who didn’t know better would think there was a family inside.

  She wanted to walk outside with Beck’s hand in hers. The last time they’d been in Paris together they’d only been married for a few weeks. They’d taken a long weekend and stayed at the tiny flat she kept near the Louvre. They’d walked the length of the Tuileries Garden and talked about the future.

  It was fitting they were here again. Starting again.

  She moved out of the bedroom where she’d been making some notes about dates and places she could remember. Putting together her schedule from years before would be a hard task, but she was determined in a way she hadn’t been before. Being with Beck made her want a future more than she had in years. She realized now that she’d been drifting. It was good to want again.

  He sat at the tiny table, his face illuminated by the light from the laptop. He was staring intently at whatever was on the screen.

  He’d done the few dishes she’d used to heat up the soup they’d had for dinner, and the tiny kitchen was neat and clean. The wall beside the little stove, however, was covered in sticky notes they’d worked on all afternoon. He’d been completely true to his word about allowing her to lead the investigation. He’d been helpful, taking notes on everything she could remember about that time and then placing them on the wall where they could sort them into a rough calendar. While they’d been working together, she’d actually felt a sense of hope that they might be able to figure this thing out.

  That they might actually have a shot at being together after this.

  “Hey, you look serious,” she said quietly. “I thought you were closing up shop for the evening.”

  He didn’t look her way, merely kept his eyes on the computer. “I got a couple of emails I need to deal with.”

  She could understand that. He’d dropped his whole life for her. She glanced up as the light over the door came on and she felt her body shift. “I hope it doesn’t take you too long. It looks like Rene’s locked up for the night.”

  That meant it was his time. Beck’s. She’d worked with him all day on the case, and now she would serve her Dom. She would pay him back for everything he’d given her. Would he force her down on her knees, command her to take his cock in her mouth and swallow him down?

  He stood and turned on the overhead light. “It was from Levi.”

  A chill went down her spine. She’d managed to forget Levi much of the day even though she’d been working on the problem he presented. Somehow she’d found a way to pretend it was just her and Beck working together again. “Is he coming back here?”

  Beck’s eyes were lasers staring through her. “I don’t think so. I think Tag’s plan worked, but remember when Levi promised he would find another way to get to us?”

  She nodded. What had Levi done?

  “He meant me. He had a way to get to me. Tell me how long you knew he was investigating my brother.”

  Her heart dropped, gut tightening. This was the moment she’d feared for years, even more than she’d feared telling him Ezra was dead. “Beck, you can’t believe everything in that report.”

  She’d worked so hard to hide this from him, to keep the promise she’d made to his brother. She’d promised the real Ezra Fain she’d go to her grave with this secret, a last plea from a desperate man.

  “Believe it?” Beck pointed to the laptop. “You think I honestly believe my brother would run drugs? Would dishonor himself and our family in that fashion? He wouldn’t be my brother if he’d done that.”

  Yes, there it was. That was exactly why Ezra had been so desperate. Beck had placed his brother on a pedestal. He could be so judgmental about certain things, and this was one of them. She kept her mouth shut because she’d promised there wouldn’t be lies between them again. Unfortunately, this might be a lie she couldn’t avoid.

  His gaze pierced through her. “Levi was setting my brother up and you knew.”

  Yes, she
remembered this feeling well. This was exactly how she’d felt when he’d accused her of sending his brother to his death. His righteous nature was taking over. “I knew he was investigating Ezra’s unit.”

  “And you didn’t bother to mention that fact to me?”

  Her gut was in knots. She wasn’t sure she could do this again. “I went to Ezra about it.”

  “But not to me.”

  Did he remember anything about what had happened back then? “You weren’t in the country at the time. Not when I found out he was being investigated. You were on an assignment. I didn’t even talk to you for two months.”

  “And then I was home for three before my brother was killed. Not once did you mention to me that he was in trouble.”

  “Because he’d asked me not to.” She was treading a fine line. “You have to listen to me. It was such a weird time. Ezra was desperate and he was trying to find a way out. He got stuck in something he couldn’t handle, but the last thing he wanted was for you to know how low he’d gotten.”

  “What are you trying to tell me?”

  How much could she say now? What did she still owe the real Ezra Fain? She’d given up her marriage because she’d promised him she wouldn’t tell his secrets.

  Was that true? Maybe her marriage had been doomed either way because she wasn’t sure Beck would ever have been able to handle the truth about his brother, and that rage would have needed a place to go. It would have always fallen on her because Beck refused to believe he had a problem. When she thought about it, both of the brothers had an addiction problem. “Ezra got addicted to pain killers after he broke his leg. Like really addicted. He would go on missions high.”

  “That’s complete bullshit,” he replied. “Who told you that? Levi?”

  “Ezra.” If she was going to tell him, she would at least be honest about what happened before that last mission. Maybe they would have a chance then. “He changed teams and the one he ended up on…well, the CO had been doing shady shit for a long time.”

  “But he specifically asked to be on that team.”