by Harper, Ali
BREAKING BEDLAM
Ali Harper
“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.”-Voltaire.
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”-Emily Bronte.
“People are always selling the idea that people with mental illness are suffering. I think madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better.”- John Forbes Nash Jr.
1.
“Wake up. Sienna! Wake up!”
Sienna jolted up to see Meredith standing impatiently in front of her, her unruly curls sprouting from the top of her head like horns. Sienna looked around blankly and realized she had fallen asleep on the couch again. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. The last few weeks had certainly drained her.
“We’re going out to Olivia’s hen party so make sure Annie gets to bed on time and clean everything properly.” Cora reminded Sienna, her horns-curls identical to her twin’s.
“Sure.” She replied swiftly and got up Thankfully they left shortly after leaving Sienna alone once more with her thoughts. Annie lounged on the couch and watched one of her TV programs whilst she ate her pizza. Annie had taken the news the hardest when their father had passed, probably because she was the youngest of the four girls. She had been robbed of her time with their father. She cried all night long and wouldn’t speak to anyone for days. Eventually she came around and had gotten used to life without her dad. But somehow she seemed different now; she had grown darker and had rapidly matured in a way. She was no longer a sweet-buttoned nose child anymore. Although she was only eleven years old she acted like she were a teenager already. Sienna sat next to her and bit in to a slice of pepperoni and cheese pizza.
“Logan called the house phone earlier.” Annie mumbled with her mouth full of food.
“He did?” Sienna asked surprised, her heart pounded a little harder at his name.
“He wanted to talk to you.” Annie simply stated her eyes glued to the plasma screen.
“What did you say?”
“Mom said I’m not allowed to let him talk to you, so first I hung up the phone. He called again so I just said you were busy.”
“Wait, mom said not to let him talk to me? How long has been calling?”
“I don’t know, just the past for few days. You never knew ‘cos mom always kept you busy.”
“Its true.” Candice was standing by the living room door dressed in a yellow summer dress that contrasted greatly with her bright red hair.
“Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Sienna asked feeling the prickling feeling of annoyance.
“Look Sienna, if you really wanted to talk to him, why didn’t you pick up the phone?” Candice asked as she powdered her nose. Sienna said nothing in response. She already knew the answer to that question. “I’m going out. I need a night out away from all this gloom and doom.” She yawned and stretched her arms. “Meeting Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome are we?” Sienna asked arching her eyebrow up at her inquisitively.
“I wish. Nope just meeting up with some friends, I would invite you but-“
“But I’ve got to clean out the garage.” Sienna quickly interrupted.
“Well, it’s bed for you Annie. Hot sex with a stranger for you Candice. Mother is off to the ball. Meredith and Cora are probably being traumatized by naked wannabe magic mike strippers and lucky me, I get the garage!” Sienna announced pulling Annie up off the couch by her hands.
“I still think I’ve got the worst deal.” Annie said looking up at her older sister with her puppy dog eyes.
“Bed. Now.”
“Fine.” She huffed and slowly turned to leave.
“Where’s a fairy godmother when you need one?” Sienna sighed and threw the pizza box in to the trashcan.
“She’s around. You never know your night might be better than you think.” Candice commented with an enigmatic smile and left. Sienna went back to the kitchen that seemed to have an endless list of chores attached to it. She began dusting the blinds knowing her mother would check.
“I swear I think I had a dream of something like this.” Sienna spun around at the sound of that familiar deep almost hypnotic voice and let the duster fall to the floor. Logan Jackson leaned against the kitchen doorway, with his arms crossed over his chest and his usual smirk sprawled over his handsome face. He wore a black leather jacket, dark Levi’s jeans and black combat boots.
“Logan, what are you doing here?” she gasped. Keep it together moron. And close your damn mouth, will ya? She complied with that condescending voice in her head. “Except in my dream we had steamy hot sex on the kitchen counter and destroyed your mother’s finest china.” He replied smoothly. At that very moment Sienna forgot to breathe. She was stunned silent. It was as if the simple task of stringing words in to a sentence was a like competing in a decathlon to her. She felt her heart thrumming dangerously and she felt a flurry of shivers flow down her spine. His eyes scanned her long toned legs up her slender body appreciating every curve of her exquisite physique. She blushed under his scrutinizing intense gaze. She wore nothing more than her powder blue satin camisole and shorts. Her night robe was all the way upstairs in her bedroom. She felt flustered and exposed yet oddly thrilled to be alone with him. He came here with the intention of arguing with her and confronting her as to why she had been avoiding him and such. Yet all thoughts of disputes flew right out of his mind the second that he saw her.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He spoke in a low voice and slowly circled his way around the kitchen island toward her.
“I’ve been busy.” She replied meekly.
“No calls, no visits, not even any Facebook or twitter. Its as if you dropped from the face of the earth.” His gravelly rich voice drawled as he drew nearer to her.
“I deactivated all of my accounts. Besides, you could’ve gotten in contact with me somehow if you really wanted to.” She muttered in response as she slowly took a small step back.
“What did you expect me to do? Write you letters? This isn’t the damn Notebook!” he exclaimed. It was so damn hard to stay mad at someone who looked so damn good.
“Yes I know that. If you were Ryan Gosling believe me I would notice!” she snapped back at him suddenly. She didn’t know whether to be mad at him for cornering her or be ecstatic that he had watched the Notebook. He couldn’t help but smile at that. Nor could she.
“Why are we even fighting?” she whispered to him.
“You didn’t even come to the funeral. I’ve spoken to you a grand total of three times this entire holiday.” He spoke in a low tone and let his fingers brush down the side of her bare arm. He was hurt but he didn’t want to show it. His dark eyes were hungry for her as he drank in her heavenly features.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I couldn’t face going to the funeral. Meeting strangers who would claim that my dad was a great guy when none of them even knew him.” She replied softly blinking the tears out of her eyes. Her emerald green eyes were glossy and looked up at Logan adoringly. Her mind flicked back to the last time she had seen him, the night of her father’s suicide. Suicide. At least that’s what the coroner was going with, Sienna herself wasn’t so sure despite all the letters he had left each of them under their pillows. Sienna still hadn’t opened hers yet. She looked up at Logan and sighed. She remembered the way he carried her inside and held her as she cried for the most part of the night before passing out again in his arms out of shock and grief.
“I’ve missed you.” He said with a sad smile.
“I’ve missed you too Logan.” She whispered back.
“How are you?” he asked gently hating the fact t
hat she must have been faced with question a million times the last few days.
“Do you want the real answer or the same recycled crap I tell everybody? That I’m fine? That my family is coping? That we’re all okay and that no, I did not know my father was going through a midlife crisis. Thank you for your eighteenth tuna casserole Mrs. Anderson, we appreciate it so much and no my father shot himself with a revolver not a glock.” She said breaking down at the end.
“Come here.” he said soothingly and pulled her in to his arms as she cried in to his chest.
“I’m sad. I’m so sick of being so sad all the time. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I just want to forget.” She said between her sobs and pulled back and wiped her tears.
“I just want to forget.” She whispered purposefully and wrapped her arms around his neck fuelling the desire that pooled in his stomach.
He suddenly felt his mouth go dry as he followed her line of sight.
She was looking at his lips expectantly. Her smooth plump pink lips were already parted. He placed his index finger under her chin and tipped her face forward so that he could kiss her after almost three months although to him it felt like almost a lifetime. He kissed her gently and tenderly at first but Sienna was impatient.
She had missed him a lot more than she herself had realized. She ran her fingers through his soft dark hair and kissed him like he had never been kissed in his entire life demanding all of his love and attention, which he gave to her irrevocably and unreservedly. He shook off his leather jacket, which fell to the floor easily. She immediately pulled his black t-shirt over his head to reveal his hardened chest and muscled abs. He then lifted her up easily on to the countertop. She let her soft delicate hands wander over his chiseled back and continued to kiss him back passionately.
Whenever she felt as though she were almost suffocating in his display of affection he would break away from her swollen lips and move on to loving other parts of her aching body. He was in perfect control of his desire for her; never pushing her in to anything she wasn’t ready for yet still left her swooning and wanting more after each and every perfect kiss and caress. She wrapped her slender legs around his waist needing to be closer to him. She held on to him dizzy in her desire for him. She had never felt this way before. They had of course kissed before and made out but not like this. This was a lot more intimate and a lot more serious.
“What’s wrong?” he asked against her neck sensing her tense up. He looked in to her eyes affectionately and curiously. “I’m scared.” She whispered feeling stupid and slightly embarrassed.
“You didn’t really think I was going to let you lose your virginity on the kitchen tabletop did you? No sweetheart, believe me when I tell you, your first time is going to be someplace warmer and preferably in a bed. But we can still break your mom’s china set if that’s any consolation?” he grinned at her and kissed her forehead.
“There’s no rush.” He whispered and took his wallet out from his back pocket.
“What are you doing?” she asked instantly confused. He took out a square foil packet and placed in on the counter then flicked away with his fingers.
“No rush.” He whispered and kissed her again more slowly as she opened her mouth so that he could taste her again. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair and paused as she noticed two scars on his head behind each of his ears.
“How come I’ve never noticed this?” she asked worriedly. They looked like relatively old scars and appeared to have been stitched together. They were barely detectable due to the strange positions. Logan didn’t say anything but the sadness in those dark eyes was more than enough to concern Sienna. Before she could question him further she heard the front door slam causing both of them to jump. Logan immediately stood up and pulled his t-shirt on and grabbed his leather jacket. Sienna quickly stood up and moved away from him and ran her fingers through her hair. The sound of heels came clacking in to the kitchen. Her mom was back early. She stood at the doorway with an unimpressed yet unsurprised look on her face as she looked at Sienna and Logan’s flushed guilty expressions.
“I was just saying goodnight.” Logan quipped and pecked Sienna on the cheek before slipping something in to her hand. She looked down to see it was a sleek new cellphone. He turned to leave but Mrs. Rivers interrupted him.
“Your fly is undone.” She told him grimly giving him her the full extent of her medusa glare. If looks could kill, Mrs. Rivers had homicide down to a science. When had that happened? Sienna thought. Probably sometime when they were too busy pressing themselves against each other. Sienna was mortified. Logan however looked mildly amused. He zipped up his trousers and quietly thanked her.
“Oh and Logan, you left your souvenir behind.” She added now giving Sienna the full extent of the medusa glare. Logan and Sienna both frowned momentarily before realizing what she meant. He snatched the condom and put it back in his pocket and quickly left the house leaving Sienna to battle with the Gorgon.
2.
“Oh my God! On the kitchen table!” Candice squealed whilst covering her mouth with her hands unable to conceal her laughter and apparent delight in watching Sienna squirm and bury her head further in to her pillow out of sheer and utter mortification.
“Mmhmm.” she merely confirmed as she thought back to look of complete outrage and anger on her mother’s face. She sat up slowly to face a fully dressed Candice. It was probably eight o’clock in the morning and Candice had just snuck back in to the house through the window. She decided to avoid using the door thus avoiding a full-blown lecture from the entire Rivers clan.
“I still haven’t told you about the condom.” Sienna sighed as she relayed the previous night’s affairs.
Candice’s eyes widened in shock.
“Whoa, were you guys really going to do it?”
“No!” she yelped back in response a little too quickly.
“’Cos I never thought you guys were that serious yet? Isn’t this going a little too fast?”
“Says the girl who just did the walk of shame. How was your mysterious night? Good by the looks of it.” Sienna quickly averted the direction of the conversation and arched an eyebrow at Candice’s glassy eyes and disheveled appearance.
“Oh don’t you start.” She rolled her eyes and slumped on to her bed and began taking her shoes off.
“Your mom must have been furious!” Candice giggled at the thought of stern proper bible bashing Aunt Maria catching her little angel with her legs wrapped around the local bad boy in her beloved kitchen of all places!
“You have no idea. I’m banned from everything, from the TV, the car, and the laptop. I’m not allowed to go out! Until indefinitely.”
“I don’t see what’s the problem? You’re barely allowed any of that anyway.”
“True.” She smiled wryly. But her smile immediately faltered as she recollected the venom in her mother’s voice. She had been mad at Sienna before but this was different. This time she was so furious she was eerily calm and cool at first. She did nothing but stand before her daughter without blinking. Her usual pensive hazel eyes penetrated in to Sienna’s emerald ones unflinchingly. The silence in the kitchen was almost deafening except for the sound of drops of water escaping the water tap.
“Mom, its not what it looks like! We were just-‘
“You were just what? Frolicking in sin? I raised you better. Your father raised you better than to be some cheapened no good whore. Honestly I can’t even leave the house for a single second without you screwing something up!” she hissed now only a few inches away from her face. Sienna felt hot salty tears slowly stream down her face. She didn’t bother wiping them and let them pour down her chin. They were falling far too fast and rapidly like a rainstorm enunciating her emotions.
“What? Suddenly you have nothing to say? No comeback line? No stupid remark?” she spat out, showing a crack in her falsely calm demeanor. Sienna didn’t reply to that. What could she say? Her apologies were nev
er going to be good enough for her mother. Anything she had to say were surely to be either refuted ignored or mocked at. Besides, everything her mother was saying was correct. Her father would have been ashamed of her.
“Did you even clear out those boxes in the garage?” she asked and sighed frustrated as she saw the dawning realization and apprehension on her daughter’s face.
“Tell me is there anything you can do without being reminded a hundred times. What a stupid little girl you are. Of course that doesn’t matter, seeing as that idiot boy isn’t interested in your brain now is he?” she scoffed as the pain and hurt became evident on Sienna’s face and turned to leave.
“His name is Logan.”
“Excuse me?”
“That boy is Logan Jackson. That’s his name,” she stated slowly and clearly as if her mother were dumb. She wiped her tears with the back of her palm and squared her shoulders and stood a little taller as her mom turned to face her outraged. You could say whatever you wanted to Sienna, she had heard it all, the good, the bad and most definitely the ugly. But somehow hearing her mom talk about Logan that day as if he were dirt beneath her shoe, Sienna felt the prickling heat that was pure anger eradiate its way to her heart. Offending him seemed to ignite more hurt than it did when the insult was aimed at her.
“And he’s not an idiot. In fact its pretty much guaranteed a place in Harvard. He got an almost perfect SAT and GPA score.” Her mother didn’t look surprised or taken back in the slightest by this new tidbit of information. Instead she looked vaguely amused and looked at Sienna pityingly. “And he’s not using me. He’s not at all what he looks like. He’s smart and he’s funny and sweet. And I think he really likes me. He might even-“