by Harper, Ali
“Your father died worrying where you were!”
Sienna spun around to find an identical glass mirror containing her distraught mother in it. She was still wearing her black dress and black veil. She could see the large streaks of black mascara that ran down her bitter scowling face. “Mommy I-“ Sienna gulped and began to explain herself but was interrupted by a younger girly voice trapped in another mirror beside her.
“Did you do it, Sienna? Did you kill our Daddy?” she stood there in her black dress with a ribbon in her hair and a brown teddy bear clutched in her right hand that their father had won for her at a carnival a few years back. Sienna started breathing heavily as her family started wailing all around her. She was trapped at the center of them for she was the center and root problem of their pain and grief.
“MURDERER!” they wailed and screeched. Sienna looked frantically at them all they all had large streaks of mascara running from their eyes down their cheeks. But it was dark rich red mascara. Blood? Sienna felt sick as they continued wailing. She screamed at them to stop and crouched forward with her head in her hands.
“Its all in your head. It’s just a nightmare or something! Wake up, just wake up!” she screeched before she was engulfed in darkness. That was the last thing Sienna remembered from that day. She woke up the next morning in her bed. Apparently Sienna had become frantic and started screaming random things at her family until she eventually passed out on the floor or so that’s what Candice had told her.
“Helloooo! Earth to weirdo! How long have you been sorting Dad’s old junk out for? You’ve been down here for ages!” Meredith stood in front of her clothed in her pajamas and sporting her usual frown on her face. Sienna yawned and stretched before replying.
“I don’t know. I guess I lost track of time.”
Meredith gave her a look of scorn and made her way back to the house. She had only come to check if her annoying sister hadn’t snuck out to meet lover-boy. Sienna had only one box left hidden at the back of the garage in a cupboard she didn’t even know existed. Everything was so dusty and filthy in there. She took out what looked like an old shoebox. She warily opened the lid praying there weren’t any creepy crawlies in there waiting to take a chomp out of her. Luckily no such thing pranced out. What was in there was far more mindboggling than a couple of critters. There were letters. Love letters to be exact. They looked old. Who the hell wrote letters these days? She mumbled to herself as she scuffled through the box.
The letters were written with a type writer but the signature at the end was written in fancy elaborate swishy handwriting that looked like it belonged on a piece of parchment paper written in ink by a quill. It was oddly similar to her own handwriting. RAJ.Who the hell was Raj? What else was in the cupboard?
Apparently there was a dusty old high school yearbook from twenty-five years ago. She placed it on the floor beside her. Was this her father’s secret? He had always been a quiet private man. Sienna questioned how well she even knew her father. What was all this hidden away for so long completely untouched? She wondered and immediately began reading intently.
To my dearest Maria,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you in so long. Who would have thought that the fall is already almost over? I haven’t seen you in so long. I have so much to tell you. Harvard is so big! I have so many new classes, so many professors; there are so many different people. You would love it mare, I’m telling you. Despite all the positive changes in my life I still feel miserable without you. I’m missing you terribly. I miss your smile. I miss your infectious laugh. I’ll come home to visit soon for Thanksgiving. I hope I will be seeing you soon. I hope all is well with school and home. This time next year you’ll be here with me! I can’t wait. I love you.
Yours forever & always,
RAJ.
Maria? Mom? This was not her father’s box of secrets, rather her mother’s. She quickly looked through the other letters. They were all similar, short letters detailing a long distance relationship each letter ending with ‘Yours forever and always RAJ.’ Whoever that was. Her mother seemed to have dated a college student whilst she was still in high school! She wanted to go to Harvard? This didn’t sound like her mom at all. Sienna found an old ripped photograph of her mother holding a bundled angelic looking baby with mussed dark hair and bright green eyes. She flipped it over to read her name written on it and her birthdate. This was getting very, very odd. Sienna realized that the photograph was ripped as to cut out the third person in the photo with them. Her father. She picked up one of the love letters that had fallen off her lap and on to the floor. Two words in particular stood out from the handwritten letter.Our child. She snatched the letter up as her eyes greedily devoured the new information. She sank to the floor as her heart thudded against her chest heavily with the realization of the truth.
To my dearest Maria,
I miss you sorely. I hope both you and our child are healthy and well. I know you’ve made it clear that I am no longer welcome in your life, but I implore you please my Maria, let me see our little girl. She is beautiful just like her mother. I know I promised to never tell Phillip and I won’t. He is a good man but he can never love you the way I loved you. The way I still love you. You refuse to see me. Is it because you feel guilty that you have left me a broken-hearted man? If you truly want me to leave you alone, then fine. This will be the last letter I will ever send you. Just know that I will always love you.
Yours forever & always,
RAJ.
“Sienna… please let me explain.” Her mom stood behind her with a look of horror on her face. Sienna wiped the tears on her face she didn’t even realize she was crying. She was tired of crying, tired of being weak, tired of playing the damned damsel in distress. She realized she was still slumped on the floor surrounded by evidence of her ‘righteous’ mother’s infidelity. Her mother quickly gathered the letters placing them back in the box.
“Is this true?” Sienna whimpered and scampered away from her mother as if she were a leper. Maria Rivers sighed and placed the things back in the box as her daughter waited in silence for an answer.
“Well?” she inquired more angrily now.
“I told you to sort out your father’s boxes. That’s all. Who on Earth told you to touch this cupboard?” she screamed. Normally Sienna would have cowered in the corner and apologized but not after that startling revelation.
“Answer the damn question.” She demanded through gritted teeth and looked at her mom straight in the eyes unblinkingly.
“Just forget it Sienna.” Her mother growled irritably.
“TELL ME THE TRUTH!” she shrieked and threw one of her father’s trophies against the wall.
“Its true, it was a long time ago... It didn’t even mean anything. He was just an old friend. Your grandmother worked for his parents. That’s how we met at first. Then I got pregnant with you, he wanted nothing to do with you. I told your father, Phil, and he… he eventually forgave me and raised you as his own.” She stammered. Sienna had never seen her mother look so flummoxed and uncomfortable in her life. Good, that voice chimed in. It couldn’t be the twins because the letter said ‘girl’, singular. Sienna couldn’t help but feel that gut wrenching emotion that was disappointment. She selfishly and secretly wished that it were Annie who was the unwanted bastard of the family. But no, of course it was Sienna. This explained everything.
“Who is my real father?” Sienna spat out furiously still swiping at the traitorous tears that flew continuously down her flushed cheeks.
“Phil Rivers was your real father! When you were born he was the first person to hold you, even before me. He was the one who helped you with your math, who tucked you in at night, who loved you unconditionally.” She cried.
“Promise me, you won’t tell your sisters. Promise me!” she whispered and latched on to Sienna’s shoulders.
“Why? Do any more of my sisters have a different dad than they thought? Hell, you probably don’t even know! Som
ebody call Maury Povich for a paternity test!” she sneered. Her mother’s hand shot out but Sienna was expecting it this time and caught it before it could land on her face.
“Sienna I need you to please promise me you won’t tell.” She begged suddenly changing tactics.
“No. I won’t tell anybody about your tawdry little secret. But tell me one thing, you say that my father wanted nothing to do with me yet in the letters he says the opposite.”
“Trust me when I say this, your father wanted nothing to do with you despite what you’ve read.”
“Great so now I can add ‘father’ to the list of family members who don’t give a damn about me. Oh and by the way mom I’m going to Logan’s house tomorrow for dinner.”
‘Oh no you’re not! I forbid you, you hear me? Stay away from that boy and his family!”
“You forbid me? I don’t think so! I want to be allowed time out of this damn prison of a house. I want to be able to talk on my cell without hiding it from you. Mom I’m almost seventeen years old, why are you punishing me for no good reason?” Sienna asked softly trying to reason with her.
“Listen to me. I am your mother, what I say goes. You will not, you will never see Logan again! Its that simple.” She snarled.
“Its not that simple! We live in the same town, go to the same school! Besides Logan’s done nothing wrong!” Sienna snapped back throwing her hands in the exasperatedly.
Her mother scoffed at that which only added to the fuel of hatred that was churning in the center of Sienna’s heart.
“Gee I wonder how well Father Thomas and all your friends down at the church will take it when I tell them all about my good news and my quest of finding my real father?” she quipped with an air of defiant confidence she didn’t even know she had within her.
“Are you blackmailing me?” she gasped.
“No Maria, I’m negotiating terms. That’s what you do when you’re held captive for a number of years by a violent adulterous self-righteous psychopath.”
“Oh and I’m letting you know now that tomorrow I’m going to be home late so don’t bother waiting up for me.” She added after a few moments repeating those same irritating words her mother often said to her. She then turned around and left her mother alone with nothing but her box of secrets clutched to her putrid heart.
4.
Logan knocked on Sienna’s front door unsurely. The memory of the last time he had come over was still ingrained in to the back of his mind and would remain there for all of time. The look on her mother’s face was both priceless and unnerving. She looked like she wanted to murder him, or worse castrate him at the very least. Logan smirked as he recalled the moment Mrs. Rivers’ incensed eyes flicked towards the set of kitchen knives placed on the countertop to her left. Now he knew where Sienna got her fire. She put on a good show of being calm though especially after noticing the condom. Logan wasn’t in to whole meeting the family thing. He had never done it before. It just wasn’t worth the hassle what with the crazy siblings and interfering moms. No girl was worth it until now. Logan didn’t know what was wrong with him. His thoughts didn’t even sound like his own. Every movie he watched he wondered what she would have thought of it, every damn song on the radio reminded him of her and even the thought of her brought a smile to his face which he tried so damn hard to suppress. He was already mentally preparing himself for Mrs. River’s stern disapproving glare and Meredith’s snarky comments and not forgetting Cora’s incoherent grunts and scoffs in the background. At least little Annie seemed to like him; so that was two females of the aggressive Rivers clan he had so far won over. He was determined to get to the other three. It would take time, effort and a lot of the old Jackson charm and charisma and he knew eventually they would come around to adoring him. Everybody always did eventually.
Sienna zipped up her knee length maroon colored dress and ran her fingers through her dark silken tresses. She decided to go with the bare minimum make up and jewelry. Her stomach churned with nerves at the thought of meeting Logan’s parents. She hadn’t seen them in almost a decade.
“Somebody get the door!” she yelled over her shoulder as she slipped her shoes on. Everyone was home and more than aware of whom was at the door. Instead of opening the door and welcoming her boyfriend in to their home, her mom and sisters knowingly chose to ignore him and to let him stand outside alone. It was their way of showing they disapproved without actually saying it. Her mother I fact had been avoiding and completely ignoring her existence since last night. The odd thing was that Sienna felt relieved she didn’t have to bear the weight of her mother’s presence and company. She quickly smeared some cherry-flavored chap stick on to her lips and rushed downstairs to find Logan in deep conversation with Annie who was adamant to not let him in to the house.
“Meredith says you have herpes.” She whispered quickly as if the word itself were contagious and rash inducing.
“Annabelle, sweetie, do I look like I have herpes?” he asked with his most charming smile and a raised brow. Annie looked at him for a moment considering the possibility and opened the door a little wider.
“Well…I don’t think so. But mommy said you kiss a lot of girls and have cooties. I heard her say it at breakfast this morning.” She announced happily and folded her arms as if to say ‘why would mommy lie?’
“Is that so?” he asked with an amused expression on his face and crossed his own arms. “Yeah and Meredith said you have lots of STG’s.”
“Its STD’s honey and not any that I know of. Yet. So far.” He added as an afterthought. ‘God, they’re both children, this conversation about STD’s and cooties could go on forever.’ She thought humorously. His eyes looked upon her as he felt her warm gaze. His eyes grew intense at the sight of her, his heart throbbed and he felt his pulse quicken.
“Hi.” She blushed suddenly feeling shy and exposed emotionally.
“Hi.” He replied shortly after also feeling for the first time in his life immensely shy. He didn’t understand why. This was his best friend. He had played with her since before he could remember. He had been with her through her childhood gap-toothed phase, her weird anime phase, her awkward phase, her emo vampire obsessive phase, her nerdy phase and now her adult phase. She was beautiful, smart, funny and compassionate. Despite being completely inexperienced in some areas Sienna had somehow grown in to a woman right before his very eyes. Logan slowly realized the emotions he was feeling, something that was very alien and alarming to him, insecurity.
“Are you both just going to stand there staring at each other all night?” Annie giggled as she stood between staring back and forth between the lovesick pair. In all honesty they had both forgotten she was still standing there. She snapped them both out of their dazes and Sienna quickly walked towards Logan with a shy embarrassed smile on her face. Logan extended his arm out to her with a mischievous twinkle in his dark eyes. “You’re blushing. Careful Cinders, someone might think you actually care for me.”
“You should be so lucky.” She replied back flirtatiously with a playful sparkle of her own in her emerald eyes. She held his arm and they were both about to leave.
“Hey! I’m Cinderella!” Annie exclaimed suddenly. Again they had both forgotten about the minor present. It was probably a good thing she said something, as they were both clearly only seconds away from kissing.
“Really? With your gorgeous fair skin and raven locks, you look a lot more like Snow White to me.” Logan countered with a wink.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I am the fairest of them all. Well, I think I believe that you don’t have herpes anymore.” She grinned at him impishly.
“I’ve never had herpes!” he shouted.
“Uh huh.” Both sisters exclaimed at once with mock disbelieving look on their pretty faces then burst out laughing. Sienna had such a melodious infectious laugh he couldn’t help but join in with her.
“Your kid sister’s nuts. You know that right?” he chuckled as they got in to the cherry
red Mustang.
“Yup just like me. And she’s absolutely in love with herself just like you are.” Sienna teased.
“Well, what’s not to love?” he teased back. “I can think of a number of reasons. Cockiness goes straight to the top of the list.” She retorted playfully.
“Mm, don’t forget arrogance, hubris, greed and lust.” He whispered as he leaned over to kiss her hungrily. After a few tender passionate moments Sienna finally broke away. They didn’t even make it out of the driveway before they were all over each other. He smiled at her knowingly matching her thoughts and started the car. It was a beautiful warm day. The sun was out, there was a gentle breeze in the air and great music was playing in the car. This was the perfect day and Logan wondered how anything could go wrong on such a perfect picturesque day like this. Sienna looked over at Logan’s simple white t-shirt, denim blue Levi’s and ray bans and wondered how he managed to look so good in such casual clothing.
“I thought we had to dress up for dinner at your house,” she stated quizzically. “Technically, I’m supposed to every night but I’m not exactly the Boy Scout my parents had always dreamt I would be. Ah, we’re here. Welcome to my humble abode.” He announced as he stopped his car in front of a set of enormous white gates. After a brief moment the gates opened as if by magic. Sienna noticed the cameras situated all over the house, correction mansion.
“You’ve gone noticeably quiet.” He noted as he took in her wide-eyed slightly overwhelmed and terrified expression.
“Its just. It’s not at all how I remember your home. Were you always this rich?” she gulped as she turned her head to get a good look at the estate.