by Sophia Gray
“Right,” I said. “Fine. I got it. I’ll go see him.”
“Man, don’t be pissed. You know I wouldn’t willingly ask you to take care of this, okay?”
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to relax. “I’ve just had one hell of a day.”
“I bet,” Ram said drily.
I had to chuckle at that. Ram was used to tales of my white-knighting and seduction, to the point where he would just start making stories up to counter which outrageous claim I’d come up with next. I got into the clubhouse one morning after spending it with a couple of beer models and Ram was already making up stories about the orgy he’d attended the night before. It was a sign of our friendship. But this time, he had no idea just how crazy shit had gotten. He didn’t even know about Angel. None of the Skullbreakers did. It was easier that way.
“All right, I’ll see you later, man,” I said, shoving my phone in my pocket after I’d hung up.
I let out a long sigh. Damien still lived on the wrong side of the tracks. His house was actually pretty damn close to where Angel lived. The idea of heading back over there didn’t exactly fill me with happiness, but I knew it had to be done.
The sky was an inky black over my head as I rode my hog through the streets of town. I pointed my bike towards Damien’s place. His house was a ramshackle wooden building that had definitely seen better days. At least the yard and hedges outside of Angel’s place had been well-manicured, but Damien’s house looked like a shack.
He must have heard my bike rumbling because he’d stepped out onto the porch before I could even climb off the bike. Damien was tall but squat. All of his features looked too large for his body, including his giant face and chest. His pec muscles were well-defined, even through the loose cotton shirt he was wearing. And his biceps were bigger than his head — which was a feat, considering he practically had no neck. He grinned at me. It was a nasty, yellowing smile. Behind him, inside the house, I heard the fierce barking of hungry dogs.
“Hey there,” I said in a guarded voice. “I need to talk to you, man.”
“Oh, now you wanna come crawling back?” Damien gave me another nasty grin.
I rolled my eyes. “If you’re trying to scare me, it’s not working. I mean, come the fuck on. Shooting up those Russians? What the fuck did you think was going to happen?”
There was an evil gleam in Damien’s eyes. “You’re one to talk, asshole. You think you’re too good for the rest of us but you’re biker trash just like me. Just wait, you’re one gun away from turning into an Steel Demon.”
I shook my head. “No way, man,” I said, trying to stay calm. Being around Damien was making me angry. I could feel my hands balling up into fists at my sides. “You don’t fuckin’ know anything, Damien. You don’t know how this town works.”
“I know how you work,” Damien said. He winked at me and I felt rage boil through my body. “And I know you saved that pretty little librarian from a bad fate.”
My mouth went dry but I shook my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said. “But I’ll make you pay if you don’t stop this shit. Stop being such a goddamn jackass, Damien.”
Damien worked his lips into a slow grin. “She’ll have to watch her little back in the future,” he said. “And boy, does she have a nice back.” He held his hand up and squeezed the air.
“Fuck you,” I snarled. “You stay away from her.”
Damien only chuckled. It was only when I climbed on my bike that I’d realized my mistake. By acknowledging I knew who he was talking about, I’d only put Angel directly into the face of danger.
Chapter 8
Angel
All I could think about that night was Trey and how we’d ended, and how angry he’d been with me. I shuddered. Part of me never wanted to see him again. After all, he’d left all those years ago. He’d left and never come back. Not even a fucking note, and then he had the nerve to show up and try to “rescue” me.
I barely got a wink of sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Trey’s face floating in my mind. It was torturing me. Things are never going to be that good again, I thought to myself. And you know that. The sooner you understand that, the better.
Unfortunately, the morning came even though I didn’t want it anywhere near me. As I was getting Chuckie ready for school, he seemed more solemn than usual. He was a serious kid, but still, he was usually pretty goofy in the mornings.
“Mommy, who was that man?” Chuckie looked into my eyes and I could tell he was worried.
I crushed him against my chest and buried my face in his hair, smelling his sweet scent. In a few years, he was going to be a heartbreaker. But for now, he was still my little boy.
“I’m so sorry that happened, sweetie,” I said, pulling back. I put my hands on Chuckie’s shoulders and looked into his innocent face. “He won’t be coming back again. I promise.”
Chuckie bit his lip and for a moment, it looked like he was going to cry. The resemblance to Trey was so astounding I couldn’t believe I’d never thought of it before. Chuckie had the same blue eyes, the same chiseled jaw. His hair was lighter in color than Trey’s but I could tell it would darken with time into those same messy waves I loved.
“Who is he?” Chuckie looked at me again and I felt a tug on my heartstrings. “How do you know him?”
I didn’t answer. Turning around, I stood up. I was still only half-dressed, and I had to be back at the library before ten. After the bus picked up Chuckie, I’d have to call a cab. It wasn’t cheap, but I didn’t have a choice, as the library was fifteen miles away. I couldn’t walk. Damn you, Trey. If it weren’t for you, I’d still have my car.
If it weren’t for you, I might be dead, I realized. If Trey hadn’t shown up when he did, those thugs would have surely done worse. I shivered, remembering the feel of their greasy, chubby fingers sliding over my body.
“Who is he?” Chuckie repeated when I was almost out of the room. “What did he want?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” I said. Chuckie frowned. Even though he was only eight, I could tell he didn’t believe me. “I mean, Mommy knew him a long time ago. That’s all. I don’t know who he is anymore.”
Chuckie laughed. I was glad for a break in his serious temperament. Sometimes I hated being a single mother. I wished he could have had a father in his life. For his benefit and mine. But when Trey left, I didn’t think he wanted anything to do with me, or with Chuckie. He hadn’t known I was pregnant when we split, and I’d never found it in my heart to tell him. If someone already wanted to be gone, it wasn’t going to do much good trying to con them into staying.
I’d seen the same thing happen to one of my friends, Colleen, in college. She’d been dating this guy, James, for years. They were in love; they lived together. Unlike me and Trey, they actually had an adult relationship. They were open about their love and affection for each other. But when she got pregnant, everything changed. James promised he’d stick around but he never did. She came home one day and he was gone, just like that. His clothes were out of the closet and their books had been carefully packed and separated. She never even knew what happened to him. When it had first happened, she’d tried convincing me he’d been abducted. But Chuckie was a toddler by then, and I knew better. Still, Colleen had never wanted to hear the truth. She would have rather thought the father of her child was dead than gone away from her.
“Mommy, tell me,” Chuckie insisted. I looked down at his sweet face and saw the same anger and confusion. “He can’t be a different person!” His voice was rising to a hysterical pitch and I feared a crying fit was coming soon. “People don’t change, Mommy!”
“Unfortunately, sweetie, they do sometimes,” I told Chuckie as calmly as I could. He crawled into my arms and I felt his sobs on my neck. I tried to hold him and calm him down as best I could, but my efforts only went so far. Chuckie was a nervous kid, always upset about something. He’d always been sensitive, and now that he was in elementary school, I wo
rried about him being bullied. His teachers always told me he was well-behaved, but quiet. I just looked forward to the day when he’d stop asking me about a daddy.
I had wanted to raise Chuckie in a family, but at the outset, I’d known how impossible that would be. After all, kids did better with a mother and a father figure. Science said so, everyone said so. But I hadn’t ever met anyone who would have been a good father figure. I couldn’t ask someone to do that and risk it not working out. That wouldn’t be fair to my kid, to introduce someone and have him call them Daddy, only for them to disappear. I didn’t want Chuckie to have to watch me go through heartbreak again and again. I’d promised myself that when he was just a little older, I could start dating. Maybe find a nice, boring, single dad and link up our families. But right now, it was just impossible.
“I promise, I’m never going to change,” I told Chuckie in a soothing voice. “I’ll always love you. I’ll always be your mommy.”
Chuckie’s crying stopped after a few seconds. He leapt out of my arms and grinned at me. The tense moment had apparently been forgotten, and I was relieved. Still, now that I knew he was back, part of my mind was glued to Trey. Or maybe he never left, I thought sadly. He just left you.
After Chuckie boarded the bus, I called for a cab. Every few seconds, I checked the window. I knew it was stupid, but I was still worried about Randy and Nick popping up out of nowhere again. I didn’t think they would have known where I lived, but then again, how did they find out where I worked? They must have been watching me. There were dozens of times over the past few weeks where I’d been outside, playing with Chuckie or working in the garden. It would have been easy for a bike to cruise by, snap a photo, then drive off. I shuddered. The whole situation was making me uncomfortable. Even though Trey had threatened both of those assholes, I had a feeling I hadn’t seen the last of them. Guys like that didn’t usually listen to reason, especially not when it came from another biker.
I need to get out of this town, I thought to myself. It was so stupid that I’d stayed. After all, my parents didn’t know about Chuckie. I could have moved before he was born, but I chose to stay. In case they ever came around, or in case Trey ever came back. Thinking about Trey made my mouth set into a line. Damn him. There was no way he’d ever get close to me or Chuckie ever again.
When the cab came, I waited until it was in the driveway before leaving the house. The street looked quiet — a typical weekday morning — but now that I was suspicious, it was alarmingly clear just how easy it would have been to spy on me all that time.
“The library, please,” I told the cabbie.
He caught my eye in the rearview mirror and winked. “Going to do a little studying?”
I shuddered. Gross. “No, I work there,” I said calmly. “I’m a librarian.”
The cabbie chuckled. “I bet you are,” he said before turning on the radio and tunelessly singing along.
The ride was a short one, but it still came to more money than I would have liked. I counted out some worn bills and passed them over. The cab ride, plus tip, would mean Chuckie and I would be eating pancakes at least one night this week. I felt frustrated and angry inside; even though I’d worked hard to bring us above this, I hated just scraping by. Chuckie didn’t notice now because he was too young. If he’d been older, I would have felt ashamed.
As the cabbie slowed to a stop in front of the library, I blinked. “Thank you,” I said automatically. For a moment, I thought I’d seen…no, it couldn’t be. I’d told him to stay away! I’d threatened him!
Trey approached me as soon as I’d climbed out of the cab. Swallowing hard, I started walking towards the entrance to the library.
“Angel, wait,” Trey called out. “I need to talk to you.”
Chapter 9
Trey
I was angrier than I’d ever felt in my entire life, and it was all because of Angel. Well, Angel and Damien. God damn them both, I thought bitterly. First, Angel disappeared. Then she had my fucking kid and didn’t even tell me! I laughed humorlessly. This was rich, all right. This was the fucking funniest thing I’d ever heard in my goddamn life. I spent my whole childhood growing up without a father and hating it, and then the first girl I fuck does the same thing to me. It made me so angry because she didn’t have any right to keep me shut out. It didn’t matter whether or not Angel and I worked out in the long run; I still deserved to be around for my son. A kid does better with both parents, and I didn’t want him growing up to hate me because I’d never been around.
I shook my head. This was why I didn’t do relationships anymore. Sure, it might start out all well and good, but after a while, shit was bound to hit the fan. When that kid grew up, he was gonna start asking a lot of questions. And I wanted to be around to answer them.
Damien was another story altogether. I’d always had an uneasy feeling about him, but this was unprecedented. The Steel Demons had always been on our case, ever since we first caught them running guns. Now, Damien wanted to make sure the Skullbreakers would bend to his will. Well, good fucking luck, buddy, I thought grimly. Good fucking luck.
I didn’t want to think Damien, my old buddy, my former best friend, would be dangerous. But I knew better; thinking like that would only lead me down a dangerous path in the future. If I didn’t assume the worst, the worst was likely to happen. And if Angel didn’t understand that, she and Chuckie were in serious trouble. My son, I thought in awe. I still wasn’t used to having a son. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the idea. But used to it or not, if I didn’t act soon, he’d be in just as much danger as Angel. The Steel Demons loved using their enemies’ children as bargaining chips. I prayed desperately that Chuckie would go his entire life without ever meeting Damien.
“Angel, I have to talk to you,” I said as I grabbed her arm and dragged her inside the library. At first, she resisted, but I was stronger.
“No,” Angel said.
I could feel her pulse pounding in her body and I knew she was just as scared as I felt. She had the look of a frightened rabbit, and suddenly I was hit with the overwhelming urge to wrap my arms around her and comfort her. “Yes, Angel,” I said in a low voice. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true.”
Angel closed her eyes and shook her head defiantly. It wasn’t a gesture I’d seen in years, and the impact of the memory was powerful.
“I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say,” she said softly. The anger welled up in me and I grabbed her arm and looked into her green eyes.
“Damien knows about you,” I said in a low voice. I figured if she wasn’t going to listen to me, I’d probably have to scare her into reacting.
Angel wrinkled her nose and tried to pull her arm back. It was obvious she wasn’t aware of the threat Damien posed. She giggled nervously. “Who’s Damien?”
I licked my lips. Even though I was filled with rage, filled with anger, filled with hurt and betrayal and confusion, I couldn’t deny that being around Angel was doing something to me. Even the most inane of her gestures drove me wild. When she looked at me with curiosity, I imagined it was because I had said something to turn her on. She was just as feisty as ever, that Angel. “He’s a bad man, Angel,” I told her sternly. “And if you don’t listen to me, he’s going to hurt you.”
She bit her lip. “Fine,” she said softly. “Come with me.” Angel led me to a corner of the library. The whole building was quiet, but in this corner of sunshine and dusty books, I felt like we were alone in the world. The sunlight played off of her red hair, turning it to liquid copper whenever she stood in a patch of light. Her green eyes glinted like jewels as she focused her shrewd gaze on me. She looked as beautiful as ever, and my cock twitched in my pants thinking about what it would feel like to take her as my own once again.
“Angel, I know you don’t want to hear this,” I said. I leaned down so close that I got a whiff of her delicious scent — fruit and musk — and I groaned inwardly. I was fucking pathetic. Here
I was, a twenty-eight-year-old man, and I could barely keep it together in front of an old girlfriend. She’s not just an old girlfriend, mate, I thought grimly. She was the only woman you ever loved, and you can’t stop thinking about her. Not even for a fucking second.
“I don’t,” Angel said pertly. I saw her breath was coming fast and shallow and she kept swallowing nervously. Even though she was able to hold it together pretty well, I knew she must be feeling just as unsettled by all of this as I was. After all, it wasn’t every day I waltzed back into her life.
“But you have to listen,” I said sternly. “Damien was a friend of mine, a long time ago.” I paused. I had been just about ready to say “back when we were together,” but it didn’t seem right. I couldn’t acknowledge it, not to her face. I couldn’t let her see how much it had damaged me. “He was an old friend who turned bad when I didn’t wanna run down the same bad path,” I said. “He’s in a rival MC, and they’re into crooked shit. Guns, drugs, pussy. They do all of that, and it’s not good, Angel.”