“Because you’re walking, but I can see the stillness in you. Big frown, too.” He choked out a little laugh.
“Not annoyed, Ev. Interested. Talk on.” I took a deep breath and felt the zinging air twist through me. Air that still didn't bother Ev.
“This one is really good,” he said. “Dogs don’t like you. When we run the streets, I avoid routes where we’ve seen dogs in the yard, but every time we do come across one, it goes wild. At you, not Mark and me. And your reflexes are over the top fast. How am I doing so far?”
What did he expect me to say? I decided to joke. “You believe I’m some robotic guy because I don’t huff and puff? Artificially enhanced? Arch enemy of all canines?”
“I'm just telling you what I see. But are you enhanced? That would be amazing.”
“Quite amazing. And you're a lousy sleuth. I think you've been reading too much sci fi.”
I moved to the side of the track and flopped to the grass. He sat a few feet behind and I swiveled to look at him. “It's not so complicated, Ev. I inherited good genes for physical activity. That’s all.”
“It could be all, but I don’t think so. There are a couple of other things.”
My gut was churning and my other self was champing for release, but I made myself act unconcerned. “What other things?”
“Like now.” He half coughed. “You look ready to crawl out of your skin because I'm telling you this stuff. Most guys would sneer at me and say I was making a fool of myself. Or laugh and goof off. But you're all serious, like I've come across some secret.”
I glared and clenched, in spite of myself. He saw and it put him off. “I’m done.”
“No, go on.”
“Uh-uh. I’ve said enough.”
That was unacceptable. I’m not used to being thwarted and I wanted to hear the rest. Oh so easy, like it always is, I reached into his mind, grabbed his free will and made him mine. Just like that, I invaded my running mate. A dazed look washed across his face and he gazed vaguely at the stands.
I questioned and his responses were prompt. He had followed me on campus when I didn’t notice he was there. He'd seen me read pages way too fast. He saw I never moved to a lighted area when it got dark on the library patio, yet I continued to read and turn those pages. And sometimes I changed books and read on, alone in the dim light. But not entirely alone, since 'Sherlock Holmes' here had observed me.
Recently, he saw me on a motorcycle, taking one of my reckless, middle of the night jaunts - and I rode for blocks up on the back wheel. I remembered the rush at pulling that stunt, though it wasn't this me who was messing around. My other self can be a show off and relishes danger. Well, both of me relish danger, though I try to avoid it these days. That particular night, I let my dark side take over and enjoyed every second of it.
Under mind compulsion Ev told me that he believed I was completely unique. He had tried to mentally pin me down and when that failed, he grasped at far fetched concepts. But there was logic to his confusion. Ever the scientific order I associated with him. I studied his blank face and realized that the excitement of taking his mind had tamped down my jitters.
Unexpectedly, he chuckled. But that doesn’t ever happen. Cannot happen. Ev shouldn’t have been able to laugh unless I directed him to. I reached over and gripped his wrist hard. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s strange, like I’m in two places. I’m watching myself talk and I’m listening. Part of me is okay with it and part of me says you’ve done something to me.”
This was a first. Humans can't resist my kind, and putting them under is basic for feeding, so I've done it thousands of times. But then, I’ve never taken the mind of a true genius before. Maybe they don’t react like the rest of humanity. I was uneasy and decided to end this.
“You’re a free agent, Ev.” Then I gave him a command. “Ask me any questions you like when we're alone, but don’t mention me to anyone else. Keep your observations between us.”
Ev was shaking his head. “I've already talked about you to my folks. It’s part of research. Primary and secondary sources.”
Damn, how to stop this? “Primary means me. Not anyone else.”
He smiled, and it wasn’t a floppy, hypnotized smile. It seemed like part of Ev was alert in there, watching me instruct his befuddled self. I released, and his eyes blinked then cleared.
“I remember,” he immediately said. “I couldn’t control myself, but I know you asked me things and I remember what I said.”
Get rid of him .“Go home, Ev.” Unsettled, I walked towards my car.
But he came after. “I could say 'What the hell'? What I’m going to say is thanks.”
Always the unexpected from Ev. I liked him more than ever, but he was becoming problematic.
He swung in front, hand out to stop me. “Whatever you did, Brecken, I’ve never felt anything like it before. Look, I’m just a running buddy and all, but I’m also a thinking machine just like you’re a running machine. I can’t resist enigmas and you’re one huge enigma.” His waved at the empty track. “I won’t tell anyone a thing. Trust me on that and don’t shut me out. Please.”
Hmm. I had instructed him to keep me private, but there is something comforting about being known. It rests right alongside discomfort at being known and here was an opportunity for research of my own. Control. “Fine. No shut out.”
He was jittery with excitement. “Brecken, you’ve got to know I have a question.”
I almost rolled my eyes. “More?”
“Well, hey, wouldn’t you?” He swiped scraggly hair from his forehead.
This was dangerous, but had interesting possibilities and the guy wasn't going to quit.. “Ask away, Ev. I don't have to answer.”
His hands flew as he talked. “What’s with the mind blitz? What did you do and how?”
“A little hypnosis,” I hedged. “Nothing special. I’m just good at it.”
“More than good. You didn't say a word, yet I was rolled. I felt it happening and couldn’t stop it.”
“Evidently part of you did.” I scowled again.
He saw my scowl and persisted. “Why did you do it?”
“I wanted to know what you weren’t saying, mate. Now why aren’t you pissed?”
“At what? You put me under, that’s all. No harm, although I didn’t think anyone could do that to me. My therapist tried and he got nowhere.”
Uh oh. “You see a therapist?”
“I used to. My parents thought I was brooding when all I needed was to grow up. Which I’m still doing, to some extent.”
I couldn't pass up the opportunity. “Tell me how it felt when you were under.”
“Like I told you. I felt like I was in two places at the same time, but only one place could talk. The other just watched. I guess that’s how it is with hypnosis. People don’t totally lose awareness.”
“Yes, they do.” Merde. I hadn’t intended to say that.
“So you’ve done it a lot, then?” He squinted. “Obviously a lot, to be so adept at it.”
Some comments are meant to be ignored. We headed towards the parking lot, both of us enveloped in thought. I couldn’t guess what his might be.
“Do it again,” he suddenly urged. He stood in front of me, bright faced and trusting.
“Why?”
“So I can try to resist. Also, if you overcome my resistance, I’m curious how fast you can do it.” He retreated into nervous twitter. “It’s primary research, with me as the subject. Do it, will you?”
So I did. I didn’t look at him, didn’t touch him. In a flash I willed him under, going for full takeover. Primary research? He asked and he would receive.
His body froze on the track. I stepped in front of him and checked his eyes. They had the familiar glazed look and my dark side stirred, sensing food. I slapped that down, but I shook, standing so close, a human right there waiting. How long has it been? Three years? Not very long. An eternity, my other self screamed. Again, I slapped my
self down.
Ev wanted to experiment so I helped him, but moved a distance away to restrain myself. I gave him a couple of still moments then had him jog in place, sit down and stand again. I asked him to speak to me, tell me if he was at all aware. He was. The automaton I’d created stood before me, helpless and waiting. But I could see that wide awake Ev was inside, struggling for freedom.
I tightened the hold, certain I could, and wide awake Ev went away.
My friend stood under my thrall as countless people had before. But it had taken a second effort to do what I always did so effortlessly. That realization gripped me and stirred up the competitiveness that I, as a matter of prudence, also keep under strict control. I was edgy, and edginess in my kind is not a good thing.
Hunger growled. A mesmerized human stood waiting. Right now, deep as Ev was, feeding would be no problem and I was inclined to give him more of an experience than he was looking for. One bite, a few sucks of living blood. My mind twisted for a second. I am forever thirsty, never really sated for long and my whole being was cued to first captivate - and then drink. Why not now? I struggled, reminding both selves that damn it, I don't do that anymore. I had to release him before I changed my mind.
I lightened the mental hold in increments, watching for the moment his awareness would reappear. He should be satisfied this time. He wanted the experiment and I gave it to him in full measure. Now I looked forward to his analysis. For certain he'll think about it, twist it around and fuss over it. I will do the same thing.
“Talk to me, Ev.”
His voice was monotone, his response a little slow. “Let go of me. Please.”
“You're already free.” I watched his eyes clear. “Was that what you wanted?”
He staggered and blinked a few times. “I'm not sure.” He rubbed his eyes, swiped his hair. His voice trembled. “It was like a cloud dropped over my head and I was inside it. Then I wasn’t anywhere. Then I was again.” He shook his head as if to clear it more. “That was an incredible feeling.”
“Just curious, Ev. Why weren't you afraid?”
His eyes circled a little and he wiped his face. “Hypnosis isn’t dangerous. Beside, I knew you were controlling it. I was just so sure I could keep you out. Yeow, was I wrong.” He wrinkled his face at me. “Powerful talent you have, Brecken.”
Yes, enhanced talent. Almost alien, yet homegrown. I took a deep breath. “Is that it?”
“Yes, unless ... I mean, I do have a lot to think about.”
I punched him on the shoulder. “I'm off to a shower and coffee.”
“Hey, you didn’t make any suggestions about how good I would feel did you?”
“Nope,” I called back to him. “You’re on your own.”
“Well, I do feel good. Like I survived something.”
I drove home filled with thoughts of mind compulsion and the way I kind of let Ev in on that secret ability. I could get away with the hypnosis comment on one level, but it wasn't even remotely hypnosis, which is a huge clue on another level.
I wondered why I didn't compel him to forget that I delved into his mind. And why didn't I compel him to stop spying on me? Was I that desperate for intrigue and excitement? Or was it the nauseating sensations I've been feeling? It was my own boredom, I decided, but also curiosity about what he would conclude.
The question that I didn’t ask myself, what I couldn’t guess, is what I would do if Ev's cleverness actually managed to clue into the truth about me.
Chapter 4
Twenty minutes after leaving Ev, I turned my head into the spray of hot water and let the soap slough off me and down the drain. Then I switched off the hot and dropped my head back under the colder spray. The chill felt good but it didn’t touch the itch on my skin and didn’t stop the ripples that crawled through me. Still feeling ornery and not knowing why, I determined to enjoy my day. Yet, my physical appearance can be affected by ongoing irritation, so I stood dripping wet in front of the mirror on the bathroom door and looked straight on, watching myself looking at myself, unchanged in every way, unchanged for two centuries. But I saw the tic of irritation, the ripple of foreign energy.
I examined the body God granted me. My 6'1” height comes from Celtic origins, dark blond hair from my father and orneriness from a life changing bite in a London sewer. Stance remained straight, no slumping, slight furtive look in the eyes. These days I am simply Brecken de Boer, student. More vital to me, I lucked out with an inquisitive mind and I have perfect health and limitless time.
The mirror cannot reflect those last particulars, but then, it reflects so very little. Strength, for example, mental, physical and moral, cannot be seen in a mirror like this one. Nor can longing, hunger, passion and hate. All of those have had their day and still do, inside of me. Why the damned tic?
For a moment I posed like a body builder, then scoffed. I strive to spend my life as a normal person and appearances count, so I take care to blend in. This morning's reflection told me I was pushing the edge. But I move at normal speed, laugh at jokes and rub my eyes even when not sleepy, and yawn for no reason at all. I live in a house, drive a car, have credit cards and carry real money in a real wallet. How normal can one get?
I roughed the towel over my hair, which is generally tousled, but I’m comfortable with tousled. I hung the towel on a hook and paced to the living room window. Sky bright blue and cloudless, no wind. A few dozen pushups, a hundred useless jumping jacks, energy popping all through me.
This is crazy making, but what to do? What do I look for? And where? How does one examine the air? Louie might know. Heh. The door to Louie's room was closed, him months gone.
I returned to the sink and selected one of half a dozen varieties of toothpaste. A quick swish and spit, savoring the mint taste, then back to the mirror where I smiled and watched my lips pull back as fangs slipped out and the smile changed. The truth is that I smile easily, although not always nicely. I excel, however, at the friendly smile that says “Like me, talk to me. I’m a person just like you”
Of course it wasn’t precisely true. I am a person, though nothing like my neighbors.
I smiled the sly one that hides irreversible truth. Two parts of me, but only one gets to control my body. Which one? As Hamlet said, 'Ay, there’s the rub'. My life is complex, very difficult, with one crucial reality. When my dark side ran the show I was confined to the night, but since my human self has gained dominance, daylight is mine and I intend to enjoy it.
The strange in and out vibrancy seemed to follow me as I moved. Unidentifiable and wispy, but pressing against me. I threw on a pair of jeans, loafers, a T-shirt and V-neck sweater. Quick scowl at the mirror, finger comb my hair and head for my favorite coffee shop.
“Allison,” I read.
“Or Allie,” she said. “Never mind the name tag.”
“You’re new here.” Did the pleasant query hide grump? Apparently.
“Yeah, I just transferred. You sound like a regular.”
“I guess you could say that. Good place to get my daily fix.”
She was full of girly cheerfulness. “You have nice eyes. I like green.” She giggled at my expression. “Don't mind me. I usually say what I think. And I’m good at remembering what you drink.”
Both of me stared for a moment, thinking about drinking, and not just coffee. “Medium size, black. The strong stuff. With three shots extra.”
“Three? You must be a caffeine addict. Or else you worked all night and need a picker upper.”
“Yeah, well. Addict, I guess.”
I watched her set up the espressos. Addiction wasn’t quite it. I crave intensity, wherever I can find it. The brief jolt of caffeine, the bite of spicy salsa, a tangy suck on lemons. None of it lasted long, neutralized seconds after hitting my tongue. But those few semi-intense seconds pleasured me, so I stopped for coffee every day.
“Thanks, Allie.” I dropped a dollar into the tip jar.
She glanced around then blinked at me, all flirty
. “Free refill, this one time.”
Hmm. “You’re on.”
Outside, I sat in my usual corner of the patio and leaned back, feet crossed on the other chair, looking at ease but distinctly bothered that the usual serenity of the place didn’t touch me. There was mild chit chat from other tables and a few nods that I silently acknowledged. No one joined me and that was good, as was the coffee.
Finally I booted my computer, intending to write, but my mind kept straying to Allie. She wasn’t my type but sometimes women get to me. Sometimes I remember other years when I wasn't this alone, when the hope of encounters and willing sex dominated my thoughts. I tried to think of something else, but tension in the air made control difficult and I sank into self pity.
For me, it’s wiser to be self-contained and uninvolved, though I learned long ago to be adept at socializing. Females, however, were an eternal temptation. That’s true for most guys of course, so I was pretty much normal there. Except, females batter persistently at the barriers I've set up against them - barriers for their protection, yes, but also for my own. There are some places that I no longer allow myself to play, and women inhabit the most forbidden place.
Important, though, to blend in and act like other males, so I flirt around sometimes. I know I blend well. But we are different, all my kind. Physical power is only part of it. We sense each other at great distances and up close the impact of our presence on one another is unavoidable. Sometimes it’s comfortable, often quite the opposite. But at all times I can see twin beings swimming in the eyes, so to speak. However, none of my kind in town right now, which is exactly how I like it. Although, I do miss Louie....
“Busy?” Allie set a fresh coffee on the table and glanced at the open laptop.
I gave a nice smile. “Writing, actually. I wasn't expecting table service, but thank you for the refill.”
She peered at the screen of my laptop. “That looks awfully serious. Are you working on a paper for school?”
On impulse, I was honest. “No. I’m a writer.”
Her eyes widened. “You mean newspapers? I did that in high school one year.”
Silver Page 3