by Rosie Scott
“What he is?” Anto replied, seeking answers.
“Yes...I cannot get into it now. Just know that I know what I'm doing.” I hesitated, glancing toward Jakan. “I will defeat him and free you. I promise you.”
Anto watched me carefully. Somehow, up this close to him, he wasn't so frightening, despite towering over me by a good two feet. Perhaps this was because I had seen how gentle and kind he was with Jakan despite his appearance. “When you say you will do something impossible, I find myself believing you,” the orc said, softly.
“Good. Then you will not worry for me, and you won't plan on dying next week.”
Anto dipped his head toward mine in a salute. “Thank you, Kai Sera. You are a good woman.”
It took both Theron and Nyx to pull Jakan back from Anto's cell, even as he screamed protests. Anto watched after us longingly as we left him in his cell, his eyes lingering between his lost lover and the woman who promised him his freedom.
Now, if only I knew how I could pull this off.
Twelve
Most of that day was spent at Ali's home, writing up our agreement while I tried my best to dodge the disapproving glares of the others. None of them agreed with me on this. Even Jakan, who I knew wanted nothing more than to free Anto, seemed to think I was crazy with my offer. Even if he appreciated the gesture, he did not believe I would come out of this alive.
Ali and I finally signed our contracts late in the afternoon, and it was overseen by both his trusted advisers and my own friends. Ali had one of his scribes write up a proposal to Gavriel, offering him the chance to claim the head of royalty. I wasn't completely certain whether or not Gavriel was aware of my true nature. My mother Nanya had said during my visit to Whispermere that the gods were angry with my existence as a half-breed; however, she also said some gods lived amongst the mortals, and I wasn't sure how long Gavriel had been living a public life, away from the gossip of his people. Regardless, whether Gavriel thought I was simply royalty or knew I was one of the few with a god's blood who also had a target on my head, I knew he would be all too happy to have the chance to kill me.
So it was that when Ali's messenger ran off with the proposal, it felt I had sealed my death sentence. While feeling nauseated, I told Ali where we were staying, and how to get in touch with me. He promised to send a messenger to me as soon as he heard Gavriel's response.
With that, we finally left the rich home just as the streets were filling with people looking for entertainment after having their dinners. There was that beautiful desert music, again, wafting through my ears, though it was rough and foggy, taking second place in my thoughts behind my predicament. I had reeked of confidence in my dealings with Ali, even if I had been making deals out of desperation to solve a problem which appeared impossible to overcome. Now that things were set in action, though, I was left second-guessing myself, and wondering if I had made a deal to cut my life short just a year after finding I even had one long enough to embrace.
We were halfway back to the Oasis Inn when Jakan grabbed me into a hug, with no words or other hints that he had wanted to, and held me in the middle of the street with arms nearly as thin as mine.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice threatening to break once more.
My pessimistic thoughts halted for the moment when I felt the Vhiri's grateful embrace, and it nearly made this mental trauma all worth it. I lifted up my own arms, returning the hug, even as we were cursed at by passersby for blocking the street. I said nothing for the moment, because I was mostly pulled into myself and my own thoughts.
“You did not have to do this,” Jakan continued, after a moment. “I never expected this, Kai. I never thought there could be someone out there who would do something so selfless. You have been nothing but welcoming and kind to me, but I still didn't expect you to go this far.” He backed up from me, his eyes glazed in mine. “You have become a great friend. Please...prepare as much as you possibly can for this battle. I have lost a lot in my life, and I don't want to lose you as well.”
The elf's words swirled around my head lovingly. “I don't plan on losing, Jakan,” I said, forcing more energy into my words than I felt. “For if I lose, both Anto and I die.”
“Yes—about that,” Cerin interjected, his voice pained. “Am I the only one who feels we need to talk about this? Before everything is set in stone, and you sacrifice yourself in the...” He glanced back toward the coliseum with nervous silver eyes. “In that blood pit?”
I stared at him a moment, a little hurt at his sudden disagreement. To my surprise, the others began to speak up as well.
“No, you're not the only one,” Theron admitted. The ranger was usually one of the quieter ones of the group, but today he had been silent throughout the happenings.
When I glanced toward Nyx, I found her raising a hand and looking displeased. “I'm fine with you being our leader, Kai, but you are not the only one with a say. I'm going to get a fucking word in if I say so myself.”
I breathed evenly, my eyes darting around at the dissension in our midst. Jakan, too, seemed surprised by the sudden pessimism.
“All right,” I finally said, the words shaky and hurt. “Let's get back to the inn. We can talk in my room.”
We finished our trek to the Oasis, oddly silent. I was struck with feeling suddenly as if I were in trouble for making a terrible decision, like I was a juvenile before Sirius again. I knew then that the feeling of having disappointed people I cared about and admired was one of the worst feelings I would ever experience.
The five of us found ourselves piled into the room Nyx and I shared minutes later, the door closed behind us. We didn't want to risk anyone else overhearing, for much of our conversation would be sensitive.
To my surprise, Cerin opened up the conversation, being the first to air his concerns. “You are going to die, Kai.”
I felt many pairs of eyes on me, and kept my own from meeting any of their gazes. I felt ashamed, though I also didn't think that was warranted. I'd made a choice. I wanted it to be respected. I didn't think they all had to be happy with me, but I'd done what I felt I needed to.
“Do you think I am that weak, Cerin?” I questioned, turning it around on him.
“You are not weak! Gavriel is too strong! That is the point!” I finally looked up to find him staring at me incredulously, his silver eyes more piercing than usual.
“I am a god, Cerin! I am the only one who can defeat him!” I realized I'd said it too loudly, and now Jakan was staring at me like he didn't know who I was. Of course, he didn't truly.
“...what?” Jakan's voice was barely a squeak.
“You are letting your blood get to your head, Kai,” Theron spoke up, his arms crossed authoritatively across his chest while he stood against the wall. “You are not a full god. You are a half-breed, and you'd do best to remember that.”
“What does you being a god have to do with anything at all?” Nyx asked, pacing along the floor to my left. “You know something about Gavriel that you aren't telling us, and you'd damn well better, because I don't like fucking secrets.”
“Gavriel is a god,” I blurted, as if it were obvious. “He has my eyes. I saw him regenerate his wounds during battle.”
“What the hell am I missing?” Jakan interjected, desperate.
I exhaled slowly, my patience being tested. “I am a god, Jakan.” Glaring at Theron for his semantics, I clarified, “A half-breed, in particular. My mother is Nanya, the goddess of lust. It is how I have the powers I do. Gavriel is also a god. I could tell by watching him battle. I'm not sure which god he is, or if Gavriel is even his real name, but I know I have a chance against him.”
“You are a mage, Kai,” Nyx protested, cutting off my explanation. “I watched that man rip a werewolf's head in half with his bare hands. You stand no chance. He will back you into a corner and slaughter you.”
“Why do you all follow me if you don't believe in me?” I asked, outraged, my eyes switching back and forth betw
een them all.
“We believe in you, Kai, but there are some battles you cannot fight alone,” Theron said, evenly. “You may have the power of the gods, but you are just an infant when it comes to them. Whichever god Gavriel claims to be, he is probably much older than you. He has killed many foes. He knows what to expect. You, on the other hand...” he shrugged. “Your battles have been limited.”
“I may be young, but I have studied magic and battle tactics my whole life, Theron,” I retorted, hurt. “I am not some daft little girl thinking she can put down a giant. The elements are extremely versatile. I think I have the advantage.”
“Do you?” Cerin cut in. “Do you really have the advantage? You are going to be stuck in that tiny coliseum of a space. Your magic will be limited. They clean the corpses from the pit, so necromancy will be all but useless to you. Air magic will be limited, because though the coliseum is open to the sky, any weather based attacks run the risk of killing innocents in the stands.”
“We can request it be a field battle,” Jakan suggested, his voice low and uncertain. I figured he was still attempting to wrap his mind around all of the things he'd learned today.
“What is that?” I questioned.
“It is where they set up the battle to take place in the open sands east of the coliseum, for whenever fighters are too powerful and it risks the structure itself. If you petition King Adar, he might make an exception for you.” The elf began to visibly sink lower when he found himself beneath Nyx's gaze.
“You are not helping,” she snapped at him, before grabbing at her head. “Just please, Kai, for your sake, don't go through with this. I will break into that dungeon and get Anto myself.”
“We cannot do that, and you know it,” I argued. “Don't you realize I've thought ahead? I can kill Gavriel. It'll be hard, but I can do it. Then, we will have solved both of our problems. Anto will be free, and King Adar will see my might, for he will be there.”
“That's assuming you live!” Nyx retorted, exasperated. “You have not thought this through!”
“Much like you didn't think about how breaking Anto out of captivity would make us criminals on the entire continent, and not just Chairel.” I paused, casting my eyes over my companions. “I appreciate all of your concerns, but I need to do this. We may petition King Adar for a field battle, like Jakan suggested. That will make it easier for me. But next week, I will be going to that battle, and I will be the victor. Whether you all support me or not.”
There was a silence. No one here was completely happy, but my mind was made. Just when it felt like no one would move or say a word, Cerin spun toward the door, before hurrying out of it, slamming it behind him.
I watched the door as if it, itself, had wronged me. My heart ached. I heard Cerin's heavy boot steps fade off down the hallway, and then the stairs, until they disappeared amongst the other noises of the floors below. It reminded me of the last time he'd run from me. Only that time, it had somehow hurt less, for he thought I had betrayed him. Now, it was my honest decisions which made him run.
“He's pissed, Kai, because you're not listening to us,” Nyx blurted.
“I am listening to you all. I just don't agree. This is my life. I did not put any of yours on the line.”
“Yes, you did. We all escaped Chairel with you, putting all our lives on the line,” my best friend protested. “You have brought us here, to the middle of the gods-forsaken desert, all with bounties on our heads, and for what? Just to die? Die and leave us here? We don't have the same excuses you do. We cannot claim to be royalty, or have special powers, because we don't. If you die here, we die here.”
“What use are my powers if I cannot use them, Nyx? If they are not strong enough to get us over this one hurdle, why consider them special at all?”
Nyx stared at me for a moment, her black eyes conflicted. “Never mind, Kai. They are powerful enough. So powerful, why can't you throw them around needlessly? We've seen where that gets you. You have the scars to prove it.” She waved her hands in the air dramatically. “Oh, wait, no, you don't. I fucking do.” She started stalking to the inn door. “You won't get your scars until next week,” she mused sarcastically, before she left as well.
I fell backwards onto my bed, not caring about how the two men still left in the room with me were watching. “By the gods, I make one decision, and everyone's losing their fucking minds!”
The two remaining men were silent for a few moments, before Jakan finally spoke. “I'm sorry, Kai. I feel like this is all my fault, and I feel terrible.”
“This isn't your fault, Jakan. These were my decisions.” My decisions. They were always getting me into some kind of trouble.
Theron spoke up next, albeit hesitantly. “Kai, I'd like to take you out drinking. Just the two of us.”
I couldn't help but laugh at the randomness of his statement, because it was the last thing I would have expected the ranger to say. Perhaps he was trying his best to be supportive of me since my friends were stalking off left and right.
“And stick me with the bill?” I jested aloud.
“No. I will pick up the tab, I promise you.”
“I was kidding,” I replied, dryly, before sitting up in my bed to look over at him. “What is your ulterior motive?”
“Are you sure I have one?” Theron replied, watching me from where he still stood, against the wall. He had one boot resting on the wall behind him, as was his signature stance. “You have had a rough day. I would think it would be nice to have a drink with a friend, on his tab.”
I couldn't help but feel as if that was only one of the reasons. “All right, fine.” I started to stand from my bed.
“I hope you don't mind if I take Kai out alone?” Theron asked, looking toward Jakan.
“No,” the elf replied, though he appeared curious as to the situation. “I hope you two have fun. I need to relax and take a bath, anyway. I have a lot on my mind.”
“Thank you, Jakan,” I said, as we walked toward the door together. “I appreciate your support and your help. It goes a long way.”
Jakan nodded. “It was the least I could do, Kai.” He smiled softly as he began to back away toward his own room in the hall. “Have a good night.”
“You, too.” I turned to Theron, who waited patiently for me in the hall. He raised two thick eyebrows at me.
“Let's be off then, ey?” He said, before walking off down the hall, with me keeping up beside him.
“I hope everything's fine with you,” I commented, as I followed him down the stairs and into the loud bar and restaurant area. With a glance down the bar, I saw Nyx in the midst of drinking away her own frustrations. So did Theron, because after his eyes caught on her, he kept walking. I followed him out into the early evening street.
“Aye,” he said, simply, as we walked down the street together. The short answer made me wonder if he was being honest. I still remembered how he had rejected Nyx just the night before. Perhaps he was more bothered by that than he'd let on.
“I promise you, I'm not taking you out to preach at you, or tell you what terrible decisions you've made,” the ranger said, as we neared the next tavern which appeared down the street.
“That's a relief,” I told him, as he held the door open for me.
As soon as we walked into the tavern, noises of glasses clinking and a soft mizmar solo wafted to my ears. This was not both an inn and tavern, like most, but simply a bar and restaurant. Though the building itself was made of sandstone like most in T'ahal, they had built the second floor entirely out of wood which must have been imported. The second floor was simply an overhang, and the patrons who found themselves on the upper floor could look over wooden railings and into the inn and restaurant below. Sconces along the walls lit up the tavern with the creamish-golden glow that was so warm and comforting here.
Theron led me up the steps to the second floor of the tavern, so we could enjoy the view. Not only could we watch patrons walk in and out from here, but small w
indows had been cut out of the sandstone directly across from us, their height allowing us a view of parts of the city outside. I loved the architecture here. It was so different than Sera, and everything was so colorful and vertical.
There was a small menu which sat in a handmade holder on the table, and Theron pulled it out of its place and tossed it on the table before me. “Are you hungry?”
As if to answer him itself, my stomach grumbled, making the ranger smile. None of us had eaten all day. We'd been too preoccupied with everything.
“Me too,” he said, as if in a direct response to my stomach's protests. “Order whatever you want.”
“I feel like you're buttering me up for something,” I joked, allowing my eyes to scan over the menu.
“No. It's been a long day, particularly for you. If any more people had left that room, you'd be all alone.” Theron stared off through one of the open windows, looking over the city beyond. “And I'm assuming that's already how you feel.”
A pang hit my gut. “Yeah,” I admitted.
“Well, you're not. I'm here for you, and Jakan clearly looks up to you. Cerin and Nyx are only dealing with things in their own ways.” Theron looked toward me again. “You are stubborn, Kai, which is both a blessing and a curse. You are lucky that most of the things you've attempted have succeeded. You may get yourself into a situation one day which you cannot easily back out of.”
I exhaled slowly as I put the menu back onto the table. “You said you weren't going to preach.”
“Was that preachy?” Theron sat back in his chair, letting his posture go with a need to relax. He grinned at me. “Forgive me.”
We both glanced over as a young man came to the table to ask us for our orders. I ordered both food and an exotic ale, even though I promised myself I wouldn't get drunk tonight. After my talk with Cerin about drinking, I'd wanted to cut back on using ale as a coping habit.
The waiter hurried away with our orders, and I found Theron's eyes watching me, thoughtfully. He sat back in his chair, both hands clasped behind his head. He was the oldest of our group, in his mid-forties, but even still, he sometimes reminded me of a teenager with his habits. “Did you know Anto was an orc, Kai?”