by Claire Adams
“Drive safely,” I yelled as she punched the gas and we took off.
“I’m not making any promises,” she hollered back.
The wind whipped through Kelsi’s hair and it was going all over the place and getting in her face. I reached up and grabbed it with one hand, pulling it back like a ponytail, but holding onto it like I was in charge. This was a great compromise for me: I got to pull her hair and play with her, and she had to do all the work of driving.
We were going rather fast as she went up and over a small hill and slammed down into a puddle on the other side. As mud flung up all around us and covered our faces, Kelsi screamed out in laughter and just kept driving. She was having a blast, and so was I. It was odd how so many years had passed, yet it felt like just yesterday we were on this same four-wheeler driving out to the river.
“I’m jumping in,” Kelsi exclaimed the second we pulled up to the river. “Come in with me.”
“The water has got to be freezing,” I tried to protest.
Kelsi wasn’t having it though, and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the river, our muddy clothes still on us. The second my feet felt the frigid water, I wanted to turn back and chicken out on the idea, but Kelsi kept moving forward, so I did too. When we were made it to the middle of the river we were both shivering and trying to decide if we were going to dip under the water or not.
“On the count of three,” I said as I grabbed her hands. She just shook her head in agreement and looked me in the eyes as I started to count. “One…two…three…go!”
We both quickly dunked our heads under the water and then popped back up and ran toward the side of the river. Even though the weather was nice, our wet clothes had us feeling cold as we found a sunny spot on the bank and cuddled up against each other for warmth.
“Maybe that wasn’t the best idea?” Kelsi laughed. “We don’t have towels or anything.”
“It was fun, though.”
“Yeah, it was.” She laughed and tucked herself in even closer to me. “How long do you think it will take for our clothes to dry?”
“A few hours if we keep them on. Maybe we should take them off and hang them over the tree branches. There’s a blanket in the back of the four-wheeler; we can wrap up in that while we wait.”
“Always prepared, isn’t that the Boy Scout motto?” She giggled as we both started to take our clothes off.
“Yeah, I might have dropped out in tenth grade, but I learned the important things. How is the river down at your ranch? Is it still narrowing?”
“Yep, I’d love to drag out the big debris and get it flowing through there better, but that’s low on the list of a million things I need to do. And who knows if I’ll even be keeping the place.”
“I’m really sorry about everything that’s going on with your farm. What do you think your parents want to do?” I asked as I wrapped her up in the small blanket we had.
“They want to retire. The ranch isn’t as exciting to them as it once was and Kendall doesn’t want any part of it. I’m the only one interested in keeping it, and I’m not even sure I really want it either. I’m in love with the idea of what the ranch could be, not what it actually is right now. I don’t want to get stuck running a dying ranch for the rest of my life. I want to run a thriving business; I just don’t know how to turn things around.”
“I could help you if you’d like. We could look at the books, analyze what’s been going on and see if there are some areas where you could improve. But to really build up the ranch you’ll need money.”
“I know. I just need to decide if I want to put that kind of work into it or if I want something else for my life. I never considered the other options, and it’s entirely possible I’m meant to do something besides working on a ranch.”
“Like be a painter,” I said as I posed for her.
“Maybe not a painter, but I could teach art and paint in my spare time or something like that. I don’t know. I just know I need to look beyond what I’ve been focused on for the last few years. I’m actually a little excited about the future now.”
“I know where you’re coming from. I’m looking at stepping back from my own company and trying to decide what my next big adventure is going to be. It’s an exciting time, even if it is sad because of my father.”
Even the mention of my father brought my mood plummeting down. I had come to terms with the fact that he was dying, I just couldn’t come to terms with the idea that I was going to be left on this planet without him. I valued talking to him; I needed to have his voice on the other end of the phone when I had a hard decision to make in my life.
“What’s the matter?” Kelsi asked. “You look like you’re someone else right now.”
“It’s going to be hard. Losing my father and eventually my mother. It’s stupid, but I hadn’t really thought about losing them before. I went about my life knowing they were getting older, but I didn’t stop and actually let it set in that someday they wouldn’t be here. It sucks.”
“I know what you mean. We spend 20 years trying to get away from them and then when we turn into adults, we suddenly like them again; by the time they get old, it’s hard to imagine not having them to talk to.”
“This is going to come out really corny so just hang on until I’m done saying it. I’m really glad we hooked up while I’ve been home,” I started to say and saw the raised eyebrow from her. “No, I don’t mean hooked up as in slept together. I mean I’m glad we are talking and friends again. Okay, and I’m also glad we hooked up.” I laughed.
“Me too. I don’t remember you being this damn irresistible in high school.”
“Oh, I was irresistible. You just had some sort of superpower and were immune to me.”
“I’m glad we have some time together, too. I’d stopped believing that there were decent guys in the world. It’s nice to know you guys still exist, even if you live in Alabama full time.”
“You know, I might not be staying out there. The handoff of my company seems to be working out very well. I could technically live anywhere I wanted,” I said as I held onto her shivering body and we watched the river.
I wasn’t sure why I had said I could live anywhere I wanted. It wasn’t something I had planned, but I guess I didn’t want her to think I was just using her while I was in town. Although I knew it was possible I was using her, and when my father passed away, I’d go back home and never see her again. But I felt different about Kelsi. I was connected to her more than other women, and no matter what happened, I didn’t want her to feel bad about our time together. I valued it very much, even if it didn’t lead to a future together.
“There will be plenty of time to talk about life later on. Right now, I need to know what the heck kind of animal is that?” Kelsi said as she pointed to what looked like a giant rat of some sort.
“I think it is an opossum.”
“Really? I’ve never seen one up close, that’s crazy.”
“How would you feel about going on another date with me this week? Assuming my father stays stable and everything else is going all right with your family.”
Kelsi smiled as she looked at me and then back at the opossum. She seemed to like the idea, so I continued on with my offer.
“How about I pick you up on Friday night and we go down to The Mic?”
“That’s a karaoke bar,” she said as she turned and looked at me.
“Yep, I thought it would be fun. You’re such an amazing singer, and I really do love to listen to you. We could have a drink, eat some horrible bar food, and sing the night away.”
I thought it sounded like an amazing idea, but Kelsi seemed less than thrilled by the idea. She automatically started to shake her head back and forth.
“I don’t sing in front of people anymore.”
“Well, we will change that. Everyone loves your singing; it will be fun.”
Kelsi continued to shake her head no, and I was starting to get the idea that she hadn’t been doing any of th
e things she used to love, just like I hadn’t. We had both drifted so far apart from the loves of our lives, we had been swallowed up by life.
“I haven’t sung in front of people either, but I’m up for it if you are. We could sing a duet and really knock the socks off of this town,” I joked, but it was clear Kelsi didn’t see the fun in my idea.
“Maybe we could go bowling or something,” she suggested. “You know they totally redid the bowling lanes; I think you’ll really like them.”
“No, I think we need to get you singing. You used to love it. My God, you would sing while we were cleaning up the football stadium for our community service hours. I’m not taking no for an answer on this. I know you’re scared, but we have to at least go.”
“I’ll go, but I’m not committing to any singing just yet.”
“I’ll take that, for now. But I think you’ll want to get up there once you hear me singing. Everyone in the place is going to be begging you to get me off that stage,” I joked. “I’ve got an ability to clear out a room with my singing.”
“You are pretty horrible, but you loved it so much.”
“I didn’t love singing at all in high school,” I explained. “I only signed up for the musicals so I could be around you.”
“What? But I thought you liked the theater and musicals?”
“I did, but not particularly because of the art of it all. I liked them because you were always there. I’d go to a million shows if you were the one with me.”
Kelsi burst out laughing as she grabbed onto me and we fell back into the grass. The warm sun of the day beat down on us as she slapped my chest.
“All these years, I actually thought you loved the theater!”
Chapter Sixteen
Kelsi
“Another date with Tyler? This seems to be getting serious,” Hannah said casually as we were closing up the barn.
“I’m sorry if I’m asking too much of you with watching Clyde. I can ask my parents, but he just really likes having you around. They don’t have the energy for running after him like you do.”
“Kelsi, I don’t mind watching him at all. I just think it’s interesting how close you and Tyler are getting.”
“Interesting?”
“You know, because he’s going to be leaving and I always thought you were waiting for the perfect guy.”
I understood what Hannah was getting at. I had pushed away all her ideas for just having fun and sleeping with Tyler, yet that was exactly what I was doing. It was a bit of a mess, and I knew it. I liked him; there was no denying it. We talked on the phone every night; we text messaged throughout the day. He told me all about his visits with his father and I told him all about my work on the ranch. We weren’t acting like two people who were just sleeping together; there was much more going on, and I couldn’t stop it.
“You guys said I should have some fun.” I shrugged my shoulders and sat down on the porch.
“Oh, I think you should have fun. Absolutely. I’m just worried that you don’t know what you’re getting into. Having some fun is different than actually dating the guy. And it looks like the two of you are officially dating.”
“No, we aren’t dating. No, it’s not like that.”
“Where are you going tonight?”
“The Mic; he thinks it would be fun to sing karaoke, but I don’t think I’ll get up and sing. I haven’t done anything like that since the last musical we did at school.”
“Yep, that sounds like a date,” Hannah said.
“Okay, well it is a date in the technical term, but we both know what we are doing. He’s only in town until his family is through this hard time. I’m helping him by distracting him from all those emotions. When it’s time for him to leave, I’ll step back to my life and he will step back to his life. Easy as pie.”
Hannah was shaking her head in agreement with me, but her facial expression was saying something totally different. She scowled at me and scrunched up her face as if it was a pain to listen to what I was saying.
“Okay, Kelsi, I don’t want to argue. I just really want you to be careful. It took you years to mend from your last broken heart, and you weren’t nearly as in love with him as you are with Tyler.”
“I’m not in love with Tyler,” I protested.
“You’re not?” Hannah asked.
“No, we are just friends. It is possible for two people to see each other and enjoy each other and not be in love,” I continued. “I’m a modern woman. I’m doing just fine.”
“Here he comes,” she said as we looked up and saw Tyler’s car coming.
“Crap, I need to shower and change. Keep him busy,” I said as I ran inside. “But don’t tell him I love him.”
I hurried through my shower and back downstairs as quickly as possible. I could only imagine what Hannah and Tyler were talking about. When I walked out onto the porch, the two of them were hilariously laughing and stopped right away when they saw me.
“What were you two talking about?” I asked curiously.
“Oh, nothing, nothing,” Hannah said as she hugged me. “You two have fun on your date. Clyde and I are going to go play in the mud.”
“What did you tell her?” I asked urgently.
Tyler walked toward his car and held the door open for me as he waited for me to come down the stairs. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a button up shirt with blue checkers on it. His sleeves were rolled up in an effort to make him look more casual, but he still looked like a billionaire trying to look casual.
“I just happened to mention how we got muddy the other day and she wanted to hear the rest of how we got clean.” He smiled and then shut the door behind me.
When he climbed into the driver’s side of the car, Tyler had a huge smile and leaned over and kissed me right away. The warmth of his kiss shot through my body like electricity, and I felt a surge of desire. Really, every time I was around Tyler I had a surge of desire. He was clearly the best aphrodisiac on the planet.
“You told her I got naked?”
“I said we jumped into the freezing cold river and had to let our clothes dry. She thought it was funny.”
“I’m sure she did.” I rolled my eyes. “What else did you tell her?”
“Oh, stop, it’s not like we have secrets. Everyone knows I’m boning you now.” He laughed.
“Oh…my… God! You didn’t tell her that, did you?” I said, mortified.
“Please, you think she doesn’t know we are having sex? I bought my condoms from her husband Martin at the grocery store,” Tyler said as he laughed and drove us down my driveway.
“Shit, I totally hate small town gossip. There’s no way to have a life without everyone in town being part of it.”
“Maybe that’s all right. At least it’s an honest life. There’s no keeping secrets around here. Even if you wanted to keep a secret, someone in town would accidently tell someone else and sooner or later it would come out. I kind of like the simplicity of all that. Back in Birmingham, everyone just lies all the time. It’s like telling the truth is the exception to the rule. I can only imagine what it would be like in New York or Los Angeles.”
“I bet it’s beautiful in Los Angeles,” I said at the mention of that beautiful sunny city.
“Have you wanted to go there? I could take you there this weekend, if you’d like?” Tyler offered.
“I think we should stick close to home. How’s your father doing?”
I shouldn’t have mentioned his father though because it instantly turned our upbeat mood sour. There was no way not to be sad when we thought about his father and how little time he had left.
“He’s doing good, not opening his eyes as much, but I still went over there today and read to him. He used to say that Shakespeare was the best author he knew; I used to tease him that I thought it was possible one of the other authors in the last several hundred years were all right too. So, I started reading him Harry Potter.”
“Harry Potter is bet
ter than Shakespeare?” I asked in total confusion.
“No, I just thought it would get him worked up enough that he might say something to me or wake up,” Tyler said sadly.
It broke my heart to think about Mr. Pace and what the whole family was going through. I was happy to be a little distraction for Tyler during this horrible time. If it weren’t for all that he was going through, I certainly wouldn’t have agreed to go to a karaoke bar.
“That’s funny and a good idea.”
“Okay, so rule number one is going into effect right now. No family talk for the rest of the night. Tonight is about you and I taking some time for ourselves, deal?”
“Deal. Except…” I started to say and then stopped myself.
“Except what?”
“I might mention Clyde; it’s impossible for me to have a conversation without occasionally mentioning him. I really can’t believe I haven’t said something already.”
Tyler smiled and grabbed my hand softly. He didn’t say anything, but I knew he wouldn’t mind if I talked about Clyde. Tyler didn’t seem intimidated at all by my history or the fact that I had a son. But then again, we weren’t talking about a real relationship between the two of us; we were just together for fun while he was home.
“Did you practice your singing? Are you ready to knock the socks off of this crowd tonight?”
“Tyler, I’m not singing. I just agreed to come to have drinks and listen to everyone else. I can’t get up in front of everyone and sing. I’m really not that good.”
“I seem to remember a certain someone getting a standing ovation after our senior year musical. And just a hint, it wasn’t me,” he said as we pulled into the parking lot. “Make me a deal, if you get just a little courage up, you’ll give it a try? I’d really love to hear you.”
“If I can get the courage up, I’ll do it. But don’t hold your breath, I’m deathly afraid of getting on stage now. All that went away after high school. I’m older and wiser now. I know what it would feel like to be embarrassed and I don’t want to have any part of it.”
“But do you know what it would feel like to have the crowd love you? Because that’s what I think would happen,” Tyler said confidently, although he hadn’t heard me sing in a decade and a half.