by Claire Adams
“What’s up, then?”
“Well . . . you know how I had to ask some of my professors for extra credit assignments? Because I’m totally falling behind and if I don’t get my GPA back up, my parents are going to cut me off?”
Lindsey nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s pretty harsh. I mean, my parents wouldn’t be psyched if I was failing or anything, but they wouldn’t suddenly stop giving me money. That’s so not cool.”
“You know how my dad is. Anyway. I really thought that I was going to do better on that article in Professor Rochman’s class.”
“I know you worked hard on it.”
“I did. And I thought I’d done a pretty good job. Maybe not A, but definitely A-, B+. So, after class, I went to talk to Professor Rochman about doing some extra credit. Just something so I could get my GPA back up.”
Lindsey took a chip off the pile on her plate and dipped it into the guacamole. “That’s cool,” she said. “I bet he had some good ideas for you.”
I looked around to make sure that there wasn’t anyone sitting close enough that they’d be able to hear what I was about to say. I shouldn’t have worried, because anyone within earshot had their headphones on or were deep in their own conversations. Still, I leaned a little closer and waited until Lindsey leaned in too before I told her.
“He said I could be his sex toy.”
She blinked, chip halfway to her mouth. “Excuse me?”
“Um, yeah, exactly! I thought I misheard him at first, or that it was a joke. But he said it again.”
“Shut up,” Lindsey said. She put the chip down without bothering to take a bite.
“I’m serious! I went in there, and I asked him if there was any way I could get my grade up, and he said yes, you can be my sex toy.”
Lindsey’s eyes widened. “Holy shit,” she said. “That’s hot. I need to go talk to him about that. You don’t think he’d mind having more than one sex toy, right?”
“Lindsey!” I said. “Stop it!”
“What? Would you mind? You’d share, right?”
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I am. Well, kind of. I mean, if he’s that open about it, hell yes I’m going to go see him about some extra credit of my own. That’s the whole reason I signed up for the damn class in the first place! He’s hot.”
“I didn’t agree to it,” I said. “There’s no way I could agree to that. It’s like . . . it’s like exploitation or something.”
“Not if you want it, too.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Aw, come on, Tessa. He’s hot. I bet he’s great in bed. It’d be fun. How could you not want that?”
“Um, because it’s probably illegal? Or at least immoral.”
“I don’t think it’s illegal for a professor to sleep with a student. It might be against policy or something, but I don’t think it’s something he’d go to jail for. It’s not like you’re underage.”
I shook my head. “Why are we talking about this like it’s something I’m going to do? Because I’m not.”
Lindsey shrugged. “Okay,” she said. “Suit yourself. But you know as well as I do that your parents are going to freak.”
“I know. But I’m hoping if I go to them and rationally explain that I am working on getting my GPA back up and that I will graduate with a 4.0, that maybe they won’t be so hard on me.”
She stuffed a chip heaping with guacamole into her mouth and nodded, probably just to avoid having to tell me that there was no way my parents were going to be easy on me.
Chapter Four
Leo
I was on my way to meet up with Jack when my brother, Aaron, called.
I almost didn’t pick up the phone, because I had zero desire to hear about Aaron’s latest adventures, but on the fifth ring, I relented. He was, after all, my brother.
“Yo, what’s up!” he said. “Just had a few minutes and thought I’d give you a call. How’s it going?”
“Oh great, living the dream,” I said, even though it was really Aaron who was living the dream. It wouldn’t be too far off the mark to say that he was the whole reason I’d gotten into the extreme sports thing in the first place; he was four years older than me, had been skating his whole life, turned pro at 17, and never looked back. He was definitely one of the oldest guys on the scene now, but instead of that holding him back, the newer kids looked up to him as a pioneer, a wise master to be revered.
“That’s great,” he said.
“Where are you?”
“Reykjavik. We’re going to shoot a video over here, and then we’ll be heading to Paris. I was thinking how dope it would be if you met up with us.”
“In Iceland?”
“Yeah! I know how much you like it here. Really great place. Or Paris. I haven’t seen you in like, a year or something. I get that you’re busy and everything, but it’d be great to hang out.” At another time, I would have been all over that shit. Hell, he wouldn’t have needed to call me like this, because I would have already been out there. Even if I hadn’t been working on a story, I’d sometimes go with Aaron when he traveled, and just as often as not, I’d come across a story, one that my editor hadn’t even thought of, and I’d write it up, and everyone there would tell me I was a genius, that I really knew how to seize the zeitgeist. But now. Now I could barely even be on the phone with Aaron without wanting to rip my fucking hair out. Everything was the same for him, but for me, things were basically unrecognizable.
“I can’t get the time off,” I said. “It’s the middle of the term.”
He scoffed. “That never would have stopped you before. I can’t believe you’re a teacher. Like, with actual students. You have students, right?”
“That is what makes me a teacher.”
“Do the students call you Mr. Rochman? That must be a trip.”
“No, I tell them to call me Leo.”
He laughed. “It’s still a trip to think of you in a classroom like that. You know, a classroom is really like a big cubicle. A cubicle that you’re in, not just with yourself, but with a bunch of other people, too. Have you ever realized that? That might be an interesting thing to write an article about. How we start kids so young, brainwashing them to work in corporate America. How we make them think that life’s highest achievement is getting into some corner office, but really, they’re all just cubicles. And what is a cubicle, really? It’s a prison. Sure, it’s a prison that you can come and go from, but it’s still a prison nonetheless.”
He kept talking. He was probably really stoned right now, and though I’d always love him, I hated him. As I walked down the sidewalk to the bar I was meeting Jack at, I felt a gripping pain in my chest, maybe like I was about to have a heart attack. This wasn’t actually the case, I knew this, but it was somewhat amusing to think that I’d just drop dead right here, in the middle of the street, talking to my brother about how fucking wonderful his life was and how awful mine had become.
“In fact,” he was saying, “it might be worse than a prison, because at least in prison you know that you don’t have your freedom. With a cubicle, there’s this false idea that you’re actually free, even though you’re not. Even though it’s like this permanent condition.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not going to be permanent. It’s just what I’m doing right now. And would you like to know what else I’m doing right now? I’m fucking one of my students, you know.”
It sounded like there was a bit of static on the line. He coughed. “Whaaaat?”
“Uh, yeah. So that’s been going pretty well.” Whether or not this whole thing with Tessa actually ended up happening, I didn’t care; I needed something to tell Aaron, something that might make it sound like my life hadn’t turned out totally pathetic.
“You scoundrel!” he said, laughing. “Good for you, man. I bet she’s hot.”
“She is.”
“How long has that been going on for? Was that your whole plan, anyway? Why you got the teachi
ng job in the first place?”
“No, it wasn’t my plan, but that’s just the way things worked out.”
“Hmm. Maybe I should get a teaching job.”
“I’d say go for it, but seeing as you barely graduated high school, you might have a hard time.”
“I know, I’m just playin’. There’s no way I could sit in a classroom like that, no matter how hot the girls were. Just not my scene. Props to you for being able to do it. At least you’re getting something good out of it.”
I arrived at the bar, but I didn’t want to go in while I was still on the phone. And I had to get off of the phone with Aaron immediately; it was that or I go walk out in the middle of traffic.
“Hey, look, I gotta run,” I said.
“Oh, is your girl over?”
“Uh, yeah. Thanks for calling, though. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Peace out, brother!”
I slid the phone back into my pocket and took a deep breath before I went into the bar. Here I was, going into the same bar I always went to when I met up with Jack. It was his favorite place, and though we could have gone somewhere else, he was a creature of habit. He liked it here at the Corkscrew, which was less popular with the students, which was good. I usually didn’t want to see students outside of work. The students, for the most part, seemed to enjoy the Haymarket, which served wine, I think, and copious amounts of coffee.
Jack was already there at the bar when I arrived.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said.
“No need to apologize. How are you doing? How’d your day go?”
When the bartender came over, I got a pint of Lagunitas and took a long sip before I responded.
“I had a rather interesting encounter today,” I said.
Jack took a sip of his beer. He’d order two Anchor Steams and drink exactly one and a half bottles. It never changed. “Oh yeah? What sort of encounter? I finally got that little red squirrel to eat some sunflower seeds out of my hand.”
“Yeah, not that kind,” I said. “But congrats—I know you’d been trying to do that for a while. No, my encounter was with a student. Who came to me asking for extra credit.” I took another sip of my beer. There was absolutely no reason to tell Jack this, other than for the shock factor—I knew this wasn’t something he’d ever condone—but especially since I’d just talked to Aaron, I had a strong urge to at least say something that someone else might find a little shocking. And Jack, being about as wholesome as they come, was the perfect target.
“Ah, the good old extra credit. I had a few students after me about it, too. It’s funny, though—the ones that were asking me for it weren’t the ones that actually needed to improve their grades. But I came up with a couple good assignments. What’d you come up with?”
“Uh, let’s see: I told her she could be my sex toy.”
He laughed. “Ha ha, that’s a good one. What’d you really tell her?”
“That’s what I really told her. It’s not something I’d been planning or anything, but it just seemed like the thing I was supposed to say.”
His eyes widened. “You’re not kidding?”
“Afraid not.”
“Are you trying to get fired?”
I shrugged. “Maybe not actively trying, but if I were canned, I can’t say I’d be heartbroken.”
He looked truly horrified. “You could get into a lot of trouble, Leo,” Jack said. “It would end your career if something like that got out. Why would you do it? What did she say?”
“Listen, don’t get too upset. I might have said it, but it’s not like I’d actually go through with it. And she just sort of left, anyway. I don’t think she was expecting it.”
“Of course she wasn’t! A student doesn’t go to her teacher asking for extra credit, expecting to get propositioned!”
“Well, I guess it’s good that I was completely joking about it,” I said. “I was just saying it to get a reaction. It was actually mildly disappointing.”
“You’ve got to apologize to her,” Jack said.
“Apologize? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You propositioned a student! That’s completely wrong. Maybe if you apologize, she won’t tell Shannon. Even if she doesn’t go to Shannon, she might tell Carla, and if she tells Carla, she’s all but told Shannon.”
“Are you worried this is going to reflect poorly upon you?” I asked. “Because if that’s the case, I’ll make sure that everyone knows that you had nothing to do with this.”
“It’s not just that,” Jack said. He looked at me closely. “I don’t want to see your career go down the toilet just because of some dumb thing you said to a student.”
“Career?” I snorted. “That’s hilarious.” But I could see how seriously Jack was taking this whole thing. Like it meant something to him. He actually cared that I could very well get fired over something like this. “Fine,” I said, relenting. “I’ll apologize for my faux pas. Okay? Does that make you happy?”
“That’s a start,” Jack said. He looked past me, toward the door, a smile lighting up his face. “Hey, look who it is!” he said, though I already knew who it was, without needing to turn and look. It was my ex-girlfriend, Colette, who had somehow not broken up with me after I came clean to her about sleeping with my former boss’s wife.
“Hey you two!” she said, looking surprised to see us here. Which I knew was a big act; she’d come here specifically hoping to run into us.
“Hey, Colette.” Jack had that ridiculous smile on his face; he was always happy to see her. Why they didn’t get together was a complete mystery.
Colette slid onto the empty bar stool next to me. “How are you, Leo?” she asked. “I’ve texted you a few times, and you haven’t gotten back to me.”
“Sorry. I’ve been really busy,” I said. The truth was, I’d deleted the texts as soon as they’d come in, not bothering to read them. I knew they’d go something along the lines of: Want to meet up for coffee? I’ve been thinking about you. I miss you. “Was it anything important?”
“No, not really. I was just wondering about you and thought that maybe we could go out for coffee or something.”
“That sounds like a great idea,” Jack said. “The two of you need to check out that new coffee shop that opened on Mason and Pine. They’ve got a great cold brew.”
“I’ve been meaning to check that place out!” Colette said. She duffed me on the arm. “What do you say? All three of us could go this weekend.”
“Uh no, I’m pretty busy,” I said. I looked at her. “Colette, what are you doing here?”
A quizzical expression crossed her face. “What do you mean? Am I not allowed to come out to a bar?”
“Of course you are, but I find it a little strange that you’re here, considering you never would have known about this place if you hadn’t come here with me, and there are about 20 better bars to go to in your own neighborhood.”
“Hey now,” Jack said. “I think people are allowed to go to whatever bar it is they want.”
I picked up my glass and downed the rest of my beer. “I’m not disputing that,” I said. I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and left some cash on the bar. “Anyway. I’ve got to get going. Papers to grade, all that sort of shit,” I said. “See you guys.”
I left them, thinking that tonight would be as good a night as any for them to realize they were actually a better match together than Colette and I ever were, but I had only made it a few steps down the sidewalk when I heard Colette yelling my name.
I stopped and turned. “You really should go back in there with Jack,” I said. “Don’t leave him all alone like that.”
“You’re the one that got up and left so abruptly.” She tucked a strand of her short blonde hair behind her ear. “Listen, though. You’re right. I didn’t just come down here because this bar is so great or anything. I know you and Jack usually come here a couple times a week, and I was hoping to run into you.”
“Why?” I asked. “
Why would you be hoping to run into me? We’re not together anymore, and I think the last conversation we had, we decided that we weren’t going to try to do the friends thing because we both know that doesn’t work.”
“Well . . . I wanted to know how you would feel about giving it another shot. The two of us. I know we didn’t see eye to eye on everything in the past, but I really just don’t want to think about living the rest of my life and not have you a part of it. I don’t care if you’re traveling the globe or living in the same apartment, working at the same job, year after year.”
I shuddered.
“None of that matters to me,” she said.
She took a step closer; I took a step back. I wasn’t going to be fool enough to go down this path again.
“Listen, Colette,” I said, “even if I wanted to get back together with you, I’m just too busy right now. I’ve got some other stuff going on, and now just wouldn’t be the right time to get into a relationship. Why don’t you go back to the bar and talk to Jack? He was literally just asking me about you before you showed up—I think it might be a sign.”
To my surprise, she was nodding. “Sure,” she said. “I can do that. And yeah, I can give you all the time you need, to sort whatever out that you’ve got going on. But I mean it, Leo. I wasn’t just with you because we got to travel to a bunch of neat places. That’s not what this was about.”
I couldn’t stand to hear her make another reference to working the same job, living in the same place, so I just waved her off and started jogging in the other direction. I glanced back over my shoulder, though, right before I turned the corner, just in time to see her step back inside the bar.
Chapter Five
Tessa
My parents lived in Palo Alto, in a two-story house that combined modern and traditional features, with lots of glass, wood, and marble. I parked in the driveway, behind my mother’s Range Rover, and got out and walked up the winding brick pathway that threaded its way through the perfectly manicured lawn.
The house was gorgeous but huge, way too big for two people to live in. We’d moved to this house when I’d been in middle school, and even though a part of me had been excited to get a new bedroom that was twice the size of my old one and overlooked the backyard with the in-ground pool, another part of me knew that our family of three could have been just as happy living in a house a third this size. Well, I could have, anyway. But my father had been doing very well as a property developer, and in the past decade, he’d done exceedingly well. And though I did benefit greatly from his success, it also made him adamant that I be as successful as he was.