It Started in Texas

by M. B. Feeney

  "Oh, sweet baby Jesus," I moaned when Gage began to thrust harder and faster while I rode out my orgasm. Suddenly, his body jerked, and he cried out as he came with force.

  He rested his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. "You are amazing. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different." He kissed me softly, which made my heart rate start to rise again.

  "Oh, my God!" A strange voice yelped from behind Gage. I looked over his shoulder, and he turned his head to see who had interrupted us. With a hand over her mouth, the girl who'd asked me earlier to introduce her to the band stood and stared.

  "Oh, shit!" I didn't know what to do with myself, and I was thankful Gage was standing in front of me, protecting my modesty. "Just fucking great." I groaned and hid my face in his chest. It was then that I realised we were still connected . . . physically.

  "Don't ever hide like that." Gage lifted up my head and gave me a gentle kiss before looking back at the girl who was still standing behind us. "Can we help you?" He wasn't smiling, and the effect was a little scary.

  "How could you do this to me?" she spat. "I asked you to introduce me, but really you just wanted to keep them to yourself. Who's next? Matt? Eli? Hey, how about Drew, even though he’s married?"

  "Whoa whoa. Hang on there a minute, lady,” I said. “For one, I never said I was going to introduce you to anyone. If you remember, I gave you advice, which is more than most people would do. As for who or what I do, that is none of your business."

  I felt Gage's body shake when he started to laugh silently. "I can get you a quiet place with Callaghan if you want." He sniggered, making my body shake against the table. I punched him on the arm, which only made him laugh harder.

  "Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have things to finish up." I kissed Gage deeply on purpose until we heard her storm off in a huff. "Sorry." I pulled away, not wanting him to get in trouble with the fans because of me and my big mouth.

  "For what?” He stroked my hair with a soft touch. "I think we better be getting back to the others." It was then that he remembered he was still inside me. He pulled out and removed the condom. I watched him tie a knot in it and pull up his jeans. Gage handed me my underwear and my shorts and shielded me from prying eyes while I pulled them on.

  He gave me a gentle kiss on the lips and disappeared into the men's room. When I pushed open the door to the ladies, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I have sex hair. I never get sex hair, I thought to myself while I splashed water on my face and the back of my neck. I’d left my brush in my bag, so I ran my fingers through my hair to try and make myself look a bit more presentable. There was no chance of that. People just had to take one look at me to know what I’d been doing. It wasn’t just the state of my hair. The skin on my chest had a tell-tale post-orgasmic flush.

  My mind was flying a mile a minute, and a million thoughts rushed through my head. Not only had I just had sneaky backstage sex with the man of my dreams, but I had also been caught by one of his fans. There was some serious shit that I needed to sort out when I got home. I had known it for a while, but this weekend had hammered it home a lot more. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't have fucked Gage, and I knew the guilt was going to eat away at me until I'd straightened out things with Dermot. I’d allowed myself to get carried away. The knowledge that I was going home to make some big changes was the only thing that was going to keep me sane until I arrived back home.

  Dermot and I staying together for the sake of the kids wasn't working for either of us, even if we’d never admit it, and ,I knew that living apart wouldn't cause too much of a problem. I rubbed my hands over my face to stop my train of thought. I only had a few hours left in Texas, and I didn't want to spend them dwelling on the bad things to come. After giving myself one last check, I headed out and was a little surprised to find Gage waiting for me outside the door.

  "I thought you'd drowned in there." He smiled and kissed me. "I was ready to come looking for you." With our fingers entwined, we walked back to the others.

  "Sorry." I smiled at him, although I knew we were being watched by the remaining fans. As soon as we joined our friends, every set of eyes was upon us, and I felt my face burning up.

  "Just ignore them." His squeeze to my hand did little to reassure me.

  "Hey, guys." Matt's shit-eating grin spoke volumes. I could see the girls all looking at me, and knew I was going to be questioned once we got back to the hotel.

  "Hey." My voice was more confident than I felt. I sat down, and Gage squeezed himself onto the chair behind me so I was nestled between his legs. Without even thinking about it, I leaned back against his chest and took a fresh beer off the table. Jenny's eyebrow rose at the intimacy, and I shrugged my shoulders at her, unsure of what to make of this whole situation. I wasn't used to someone being attentive in this way, least of all someone I'd just met.

  The rest evening flew by, full of laughter and banter, and we were soon being kicked out by the bar staff so they could go home. I pulled on my cardigan when we hit the cold air outside to walk back to the hotel.

  "I can't believe this weekend's practically over already." Jo linked her arm with mine, and Holly grabbed my arm on the other side. They walked me away from Gage, but I could feel his eyes on my backside. "I'm looking forward to going home, but it's been brilliant." Jo’s Welsh accent was much stronger after the copious amounts of alcohol she'd consumed.

  "I know, it's flown by." I sighed. The one thing I was looking forward to was seeing my babies—the rest, not so much.

  "So, did you have a good birthday weekend?" Jenny called over to me, her words slightly slurred, while she walked arm in arm with Ivy and Matt.

  "Oh, it’s up there as one to remember." I pulled out a cigarette and struggled to light it, the fresh air and alcohol I'd consumed making it difficult. A flame appeared in front of me. "Thanks." I looked up at Gage, and the girls let go of me, chuckling.

  "You didn't say it was your birthday," he accused, stealing my cigarette from me and taking a drag, leaving me frowning at him.

  "Yes I did, earlier on. Remember, shopping?” I looked down at my watch. It was way past midnight, so my birthday was officially over, and Gage’s had begun. “Oh, by the way, happy birthday yourself."

  The others cheered and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to the both of us in the middle of the street. I decided there and then that drunken singing was the best thing ever. It had been far too long since I’d done it.

  "Oh, shit yeah. So we have the same birthday?" He nudged me, a wide smile on his face. “That’s pretty cool, and easy to remember.”

  "No, mine was yesterday, remember? Hence the shopping." I reclaimed my cigarette before he could smoke it all.

  "You should have let me buy you a gift."

  The alcohol really was going to my head, and I was beginning to struggle to walk in a straight line. Gage took hold of my arm and steadied me.

  "This whole weekend was my gift to myself. The shopping, the show. I don't need anything else." Well, maybe a bit more of something else, but I figure that was a one-time deal. I just had to go back home and sort my life out.

  "If you're sure." He sounded a little hurt at my refusal but recovered pretty quickly.

  "I am." I groaned when he took my cigarette off me again and wandered away to talk to the others in our group.

  Shoving my hands into the pockets of my shorts, I followed the group towards the hotel, unable to get the evening out of my mind. Not only had I seen the greatest live show of my life, but I’d also had some of the best sex ever. Just in case my watch was wrong, I pulled out my phone from my pocket to check the time. It was two a.m. I wondered if I could phone home and just do it the coward’s way, but I chickened out. Anyway, I owed it to Dermot to do it face to face and with complete honesty. I wasn't looking forward to making such drastic changes, but it needed to be done. Guilt was starting to eat at me, making me hate myself. As much as I didn’t want to go home, I knew I needed to.

  The closer we got to
the hotel, the more down I began to feel. I really just wanted to clamber into bed and sleep the feeling of dread away.

  "You okay, hun?" Jenny wound her arm around my waist, making me jump. I hadn’t heard her approach. She always seemed to be asking me that, like I constantly had her on the edge of concern.

  "Yeah, lots going on up here." I tapped my forehead. "The weekend's over, I have to go back to real life, and it's scaring me." To my surprise, I felt tears prick my eyes, but I blinked them away, determined not to ruin the evening for anyone else.

  "Hey. Everything will be fine as long as you are doing things for the right reason. Besides, in six months, I'll be in the UK for some auditions, and we can meet up and be there for each other."

  I gave her a hug, and we continued walking until we arrived at the hotel. My path to the bank of lifts in the lobby was disrupted when my arm was grabbed and I was pulled into the stairwell.

  "Can I have a goodnight kiss?"

  Gage's voice soothed me, and he pressed his lips to mine gently, tongue licking my top lip. I opened my mouth, and soon our tongues were moving together in a way that had already become familiar to me. However, I soon pulled away, not wanting to prolong the agony of a 'holiday romance' since I’d never see him again other than in magazines and online.

  "Are you okay?" The concern in his voice warmed my heart as much as the arms he’d wrapped around me.

  "Sure. I'm just tired. Some of us are getting on in years, you know." I attempted to joke through a yawn. "It's going to take me a week to get over this weekend."

  He chuckled at me.

  “And that doesn’t include a thirty hour round-trip by airplane.”

  "I'm sure you'll be fine. Come on. Let's get you back to your room."

  He started to walk me up the stairs, keeping a firm hold on to my hand. I was surprised at how quickly we reached my floor. Before we got to my door, he pulled me in for yet another toe-tingling kiss that literally took my breath away.

  "I'm gonna miss this," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. “And you.” Gage was crazy. We’d known each other for about twenty four hours

  "Yeah, right. You're a rock star. New town, new girl. Live it up while you can." I cupped my hand against his jaw, revelling in how smooth his skin was, even with the beard. “You’re still young. Make the most of the life you’re living.”

  "I guess it does seem like that, but I really don't do that shit anymore. I haven't for a while."

  I looked at him sceptically.

  "I'm serious."

  "I believe you." And for some reason, I did. I yawned again.

  "C'mon. Someone needs some sleep. What time's your flight?"

  "Um, six p.m." I checked the time on my phone. It was almost three a.m. I would be lucky if I got four hours sleep before having to wake up, pack, and check out in time to get to the airport.

  Gage grabbed my phone out of my hand.

  "What are you doing?"

  "Setting your alarm for you to make sure you get enough sleep."

  I peered over his shoulder while he finished, and then he began looking through my pictures.

  "Your kids are beautiful."

  My face heated up again. He had a bad habit of making me blush.

  "Thank you."

  Gage handed my phone back to me. I yawned again, stumbling a little from the wave of tiredness that hit me.

  "Right, bedtime for the Brit."

  The three months after the trip to Texas were a bit of a nightmare. My mind was all over the place, full of memories of Gage. I’d woken up to my alarm, hoping I’d get to see him, but when Jo and I met up with the others, Holly took me to one side to tell me that the guys had left and that Gage had asked her to tell me he was sorry we couldn’t have a proper goodbye. It had hurt, but in the back of my mind, I’d expected it. I was determined to put him out of my thoughts, but that was far easier said than done.

  I got back home fully prepared to have a chat with Dermot about where things were going with our relationship. I'd planned what I was going to say and even how I was going to say it. I couldn't believe it when he beat me to it, throwing me for six.

  He sat me down and told me that he felt we'd grown apart, and a sham marriage wasn't fair to either of us. While I’d been away, he’d been looking for places to rent nearby, and he had managed to find himself a small two-bedroom flat between our house and the kid’s school so he could see Sam and Grace as often as work allowed. Then he hugged me and helped me explain it to the kids.

  The kids were upset, of course, but after he’d moved out, Dermot made sure he phoned every night to say goodnight to them. When he had a day off work, he collected them from school, and they stayed at his place every weekend while I worked. It didn’t take us long to get into a routine that benefited all of us, and the kids seemed to come to terms with Mummy and Daddy not living together anymore.

  Throughout the changes to our lives, I couldn't get Texas out of my head. When Dermot had ended things between us, I’d told him I had felt the same for a while. I never told him the full extent of what happened while I was away, only that I’d met someone who had made me reassess life in general.

  The whole weekend replayed in my mind on a constant loop. The only time it didn't was when I was at work, and that was just because of how busy I was. I loved the class I’d been given while the regular teacher was on maternity leave, and I was relishing my career choice. As soon as I got home and was alone in the evenings, there he was, in my mind, replaying memories like a video stuck on repeat. Whenever I saw a new picture of him, I remembered what it had felt like when he wrapped his arms around me, when he kissed me, and when he gave me the best orgasm of my life. No one in my 'real life' knew about it. Yes, I'd posted pictures of the concert online so friends could see I'd gotten to meet the band, but other than the girls from the Lyricist group, no one knew the truth about Gage.

  Speaking to the girls every day online and working late into the night kept me sane. We were planning to meet up again soon in the UK once everyone could afford it. I couldn’t wait. The kids could stay with Dermot, so I would be able to fit everyone in my house. It was small, but I doubted we'd do much other than catch up on sleep. Besides, we were all women. Who needed space? What I needed was to see them again. Although we talked a lot, I was beginning to feel like the weekend in Texas had been all in my addled imagination.

  I read as much as I could when I had spare time. I’d found a fondness for rock star romance books since my return home, something I hid from everyone. When I read them, I felt like I was reading about Gage rather than the main character in the book. I could hear his Texan drawl in the dialogue, see the look in his eyes when the ‘hero’ gazed at his love interest. Despite my best intentions, I couldn't help it. Maybe, deep within my subconscious, it was my way of still feeling connected to him, which was ridiculous. He was bound to have forgotten all about me within hours of saying goodbye after the show. On several occasions, I gave myself a stern talking-to about how I needed to start acting my age and less like a lovesick teenager.

  I woke up one Saturday morning to glorious spring sunshine. The kids were with Dermot for the weekend, and for once, I had no work to do. The house was pretty damn spotless, so I had the day to relax. Wandering down to the kitchen, I unlocked the back door and opened the door wide. There was a chill in the air, but I didn’t care. I lit a cigarette and made myself a cup of tea. Looking outside, I considered spending some time tidying up the garden for the summer.

  Dermot hadn’t finished landscaping until the end of the previous summer, so the kids hadn't yet been able to experience the garden in its entirety. I stepped out onto the patio and surveyed the space around me. The play area at the back was ready and waiting with swings, a slide, and a trampoline. I looked at the covered sand-pit, making a mental note to refill it soon. A brick barbecue that had never been used was covered with a tarp to prevent rust. I definitely wanted to use it when the girls came to visit. It was easy to make the
decision to spend the morning clearing the fallen leaves, and then I would sit outside with a book.

  First, I headed back inside to watch the news. After lounging around for about an hour, I grabbed a shower and pulled on some old jeans and a vest top. I shrugged on my old uni hoodie and some boots and went back out into the garden.

  Enjoying the manual labour and fresh air, I lost track of time while I raked leaves and picked up stray bits of rubbish that had floated in under the gate. It didn't take long for the garden to start looking decent again. I lit another cigarette and sat on the patio swing, feeling my body start to relax while I swung for a few lazy minutes. My eyes had just drifted closed when I heard the faint chime of the doorbell. I stubbed out the cigarette and ran through the house to open the door.

  "Oh, my God! What . . . How . . . When?" I was rendered speechless by the sight of Jenny standing on my doorstep.

  "A surprise visit. By plane. About twelve hours ago.” Her brown eyes sparkled, and her smile was wide while she watched me struggle for words. “You gonna invite me in?"

  I pulled her into a tight hug before letting her into the house.

  "Wow. Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have met you at the airport." We sat on the sofa, grinning at each other.

  "Well, I wasn't sure I was definitely coming until two days ago. Plus, I wanted to surprise you."

  I was trembling from sheer excitement. Unable to sit still, I went into the kitchen to light a cigarette and try to calm myself down.

  "All I can say is . . . wow. Do you want a drink?" I put the kettle on to boil without waiting for her answer. "So, what made you decide to fly halfway across the world just to surprise me?" Hovering at the back door, I blew my smoke outside. Jenny sat at the small table in the kitchen.

  "I've been worried about you." My Kiwi friend didn't beat about the bush.

  "Why?"

  "You've not been yourself since the trip. You're putting on a good act online, but a couple of us have noticed that it’s only an act."