Then I touch your hand
And next moment I kiss you,
Fascination turned to love.”
Yes, I was transported to this magical place, a utopia and he . . .he was my Prince Charming.
“Fascination turned - to – love.”
As the song ended, he dipped me. Disappearing into my eyes, he leaned down and his lips met mine.
He lifted me in his arms, kissing me as we walked toward the guest bedroom. I so wanted to go. I so wanted to be all his, to continue the dream, but I needed to wait. He was leaving in a week—perhaps forever. I couldn’t give myself to him. I knew if we were in the room together, I wouldn’t be able to control my desire. What if I never saw him again? I couldn’t torture myself like that.
“Dylan, I’m sorry.” I so wanted to make love to him. “I’m not ready.” I was trying to convince myself as well.
“Then stay with me here. Let me hold you. I need to feel you in my arms.” He brought me back to the couch, setting me on his lap, and kissed me. “I love the taste of your lips.” He gently lay me down and slid his body on top of me. I could feel the muscles in his body flex as he pressed our bodies down onto the couch.
He stared into my eyes and a smile covered his face.
“So beautiful.” He leaned in to kiss me. “You know,” he whispered and kissed my check, “I have never done this before.” He kissed my other cheek as if playing with me.
“What?” I was confused.
“It’s taking every ounce of control I have, not to pick you up and bring you into the room and make love to you.” He Eskimo-kissed me. “I have never wanted anyone so bad.” His seductive brown eyes stared into mine.
“Should I leave? Would that be easier?”
“No, I can do this.” He kissed me. “I can do this, but don’t say I never did anything for you.” He smiled. “I can wait.” He leaned in to kiss me again tenderly. “I will wait.”
Each kiss became more and more passionate and he rolled me over on top of him forgetting we were on a couch. Our bodies crashed onto the floor. “You okay?” He confirmed I was and we began laughing hysterically. “I guess this is a sign. I better stop.” He traced my lips with his fingers. “Your lips are so dangerous. I could kiss you forever.” He pulled my body closer to his.
I sighed. His body felt so warm, so strong.
His fingers gently played with my hair. “But I better stop, or I can’t guarantee I will behave myself.” He wrapped his arms around me, cuddling, as the sweet lullaby of the fire serenaded us to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, he was watching me sleep and gently outlining my features with his fingertips. I opened my eyes.
A grin burst on his lips. “So, you’re my first. It’s official.”
Confused, I tilted my head like a puppy in thought.
“I made it through the night, and you are still fully clothed.” His face erupted in an even bigger smile. “I’ve never done this before. I’m venturing in unchartered waters, Ms. Nicole. What are you doing to me?”
Chapter Seventeen
“Em, they found another body. Look.” I ran over to her with a newspaper someone had left on the table. She stopped and reading the article.
Brad walked into the bar, grabbed the newspaper out of her hand, and smacked me on the backside with it. “You better get to work, or I’ll murder you myself.” Brad joked. He thought it was silly how into it we were. He motioned to a table of people waiting to be served.
I quickly pivoted around, trying to take my mind off the article. “Can we have two Budweisers and a White Russian?”
Dylan picked me up from work, and we spent a few hours together before the band played. A mixture of excitement, of comfort, of giddiness filled me when we were together. The part of me that had become numb and lifeless was being probed and stimulated by sensors and the world was fresh and new. Dylan made me feel like I could do anything. I really didn’t want it to end.
But it was time. We had been seeing each other for over three weeks, and I hadn’t told him the truth. Petrified, I avoided this for as long as I could, but I realized it was not fair for me to go on dodging the conversation. I started feeling nauseous and didn’t want to go through with it. Once he knew the truth, this dream I have been living in could end. A sadness came over me.
He had no clue what I was about to say. How do I begin?
“Dylan.” I hesitated. “Is there any place we can go? I need to talk to you about something important.”
“Do you want to go to a restaurant to talk or . . .” I couldn’t get the words out. I just kept going over the scenario in my head. I’ll tell him. He will freak out and end it and leave me on the side of the road. Maybe a public place would be better.
Ronald was known to leave me on the side of the road during a fight. Not that I really thought Dylan would, but I figured I’d be safe, just in case. It was cold outside.
We sat down in the restaurant, and he twisted toward me.
“What’s wrong? You’re acting strange.”
I breathed in, then breathed out.
“It’s not like you are going to tell me you’re pregnant or something.” He laughed. He thought it would get a chuckle from me. When it didn’t, he appeared a little worried.
I didn’t know how to begin.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” I began apprehensively.
He raised his eyebrow, puzzled. “Are you seeing someone else?”
“There is someone very special to me in my life.”
His face contorted.
“You are seeing someone else?” He kept looking at me in disbelief.
I covered my face with my hands for a moment, then glanced up and shook my head.
“It’s not like that.”
“So what is it like?”
I paused for a moment and began, “Dylan, I don’t know if you know it or not but . . . but I have a daughter.”
“A daughter?” You could hear the surprise in his voice.
Only a few people in the club knew about Jessica. Most people didn’t understand or would try to use it against me because I was young and not married. I was careful who I told.
“Yeah, I have a daughter back home. I’m trying to make it possible to bring her here.” I had secretly hoped it wouldn’t make a difference to him, but I could tell it freaked him out.
“A daughter?” He sat up more erect and rubbed his hands on his thighs like he was searching for something to say. “Wait. Are you married?”
“No, not at all. I have been a single mom most of her life.”
“You have a daughter?” He was still searching for something to say. “How old is she?”
“She’s four.”
He was silent for a moment. “Where is she now?”
“She’s with my mom. I‘ve been raising money so I can bring her up here and have been hoping to get an apartment.”
“You’re a mom.” He was a little dazed by the news. Sitting there in silence for a while, I had no clue what to say.
“You are a mom?” The question had already been answered, but it was like he was in disbelief and hoped I was joking.
“What . . . what is her name?”
“Jessica.” I lit up.
“I bet she’s beautiful.” He stared out the window. “So, you’re in Alaska trying to raise money so you can bring her here?”
“Yeah, I wanted a better life for us.”
“When is she coming up?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been saving for her ticket.”
“So you need money to bring her up? I can give you the money.”
“I can’t take your money. That isn’t why I’m telling you. It’s just that . . . she’s a really big part of my life and you should know about her.”
“I can’t believe you have a daughter . . . can’t say I am not a little freaked out about it,” Dylan began.
“If this changes things, I understand.”
“It does . .
. it does, but not about how I feel about you. I like kids . . . I guess. The truth is I’m hardly around kids. I don’t even see my nieces and nephews that often. I . . . I guess I’m willing to try. So when I get back, can we bring her to . . . I don’t know. What do four-year-olds like to do?”
“You’re coming back for sure?” My face lit up. He had mentioned he might come for a few days or that the band may be playing here, but I thought he would change his mind when he heard the news.
“I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. I’ve never felt like this before, Nicole. To be honest, if any girl wouldn’t sleep with me, I would’ve moved on. If a girl told me she had a child, I’d’ve definitely been gone. But now I can’t wait to see this miniature you. Her name’s Jessica?”
“Yeah, I call her Jess sometimes.”
“I can’t wait to meet her, Nicole. I have to say, I am a little relieved. You got me nervous there for a minute. I worried you were married or something.” He took my hand and cradled it in his. “A little Nicole. This will be new.” He drew me forward and kissed me.
“You aren’t mad at me for not telling you sooner?” I watched him, hoping to find the truth in his eyes.
“How could I be mad at you? I’m kind of sad you didn’t feel you could tell me earlier. But to be honest, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I may have disappeared. I really don’t know. I’ve changed a lot since I met you, and I think what we have is something real. I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Nicole.” He picked up my hands. “I leave for the Slope soon. I talked to Justin and the band won’t be coming back up to Alaska any time soon.”
“Oh . . . okay.” I tried not to sound disappointed. I knew what was coming. He wasn’t coming back.
“The band’s gonna be playing in the Lower 48 for a while, but I was thinking maybe . . . maybe I should come back to Anchorage on my break instead.”
I tilted my head. What was he saying? Was he saying—?
His voice interrupted my thoughts. “Not just for a day or two, but for the whole time I’m off. I don’t know where this is going, but I’d like to try and make a go at it.”
“You won’t miss the band?” I didn’t want him to do something he would regret later.
“Just thinking about leaving you is killing me. I’d rather see you on my time off than play with them. I’ll rent out my house in Washington to someone. It’d be better than sitting there vacant while I’m on the Slope anyway. And Brad’s got that extra room I can rent.”
“You really are serious. So you are gone for a month, then you’ll come here to Anchorage for two weeks?”
“For those two weeks I will be all yours. I’m only coming back for you. I’m willing to change everything to be with you, Nikki. Do you wanna try and make this work?”
My smile answered his question.
He took my hands in his again, “My Nicole, I can’t believe you’re a mom.”
The next night Dylan took off, we wanted to spend as much time as possible together before he left. The guys picked us up around ten from work. After a late dinner, Chris brought us over to his house. They went to the back to grab a couple towels and a bottle of wine so we could enjoy the stars in the Jacuzzi. While we were waiting for them to return, I noticed a file on a small desk. I don’t know what compelled me to pick up the folder, but when I opened it, I realized it was all about the girls—the serial killer’s victims.
“Nicole, put that back,” Emily pleaded.
“Look, Em! What is he doing with this?”
“Nicole!”
I flipped through the file, peeking at the pictures of each victim. Small frame. Long dark hair. Brown eyes. I sucked in air and choked, dropping the file to the ground. Emily and I dropped to the floor, picking up the papers that had fallen out.
The guys walked back in.
“What are you doing?” Chris asked in a serious tone.
“It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I saw it laying there and picked it up for some reason, but when I opened it, I saw it was about that killer. Why do you have this?”
Chris didn’t seem amused. “Nicole, you can’t go through my stuff. That file is confidential. It has information that hasn’t been released to the public yet.”
“Why do you have it?”
“Never mind that. If I bring you here, I have to trust you to not go through anything. A lot of my work is classified.” He grabbed the file from my hands, extremely disappointed. Flipping through the pages, he confirmed nothing was missing.
“I promise, I won’t. But Chris, I couldn’t help noticing . . . all the girls that were murdered, they . . . they look a lot like me. All of them are around my age, my height, my hair color, and all from the Lower 48.”
“They are?” Dylan interrupted. Chris nodded his head.
“Do I need to worry, Chris?” I asked. “I’m really freaked out about this killer. I mean, he is hunting girls that look like me.” The realization hit me. Dylan could see the fear in my eyes, came over, and put his arms around me.
“I can’t talk about the case, but you do have to be careful. You both need to be careful.”
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Dylan promised.
“But you’re leaving.”
“Chris, what can we do to keep them safe when we’re gone?” Dylan asked.
“Serial killers are the most intelligent and dangerous of all criminals. They do not strike on impulse. A serial killer usually stalks his victims searching for weaknesses. He watches to see how alert you are and if you have any routines that give him the opportunity to carry out his plan. He wants to know when you are alone, what time you get home. You can protect yourself if you learn how to be aware of your surroundings at all times. The biggest mistake is to let down your guard when you are alone. If someone pulls out a weapon and wants to take you anywhere, run. Whatever you do, don’t get in the car.”
“Why do you think he’s doing it?”
“If there is one common motive among these killers, it’s playing God. They thrive on having the power over the life and death of another individual.”
“Chris, do you think we’ll be safe?” Emily was now getting concerned.
“You have to be really careful. Don’t go anywhere with anyone you don’t know. Don’t accept drinks from anyone unless you get it from the bar. We don’t know if the killer has been slipping roofie, which induces severe intoxication, or GHB in the girls’ drinks to make them easy to abduct.
“What about self-defense?” Emily asked.
“You should both take a self-defense class as soon as you can. You can’t fight off a serial killer, but it could help you get away. And when we get back into town, we’ll take you to a shooting range. It doesn’t make sense to get a gun until you know how to shoot. And Brad. Brad’s here. If you need anything, I’m sure he will help you out. Stick together like you’ve been doing. See if you can vary your schedule, and remember, never let anyone take you to someplace remote.”
“Like horseback riding in the mountains at night?” I laughed, trying to lighten the conversation.
“Exactly. I can’t believe someone would even consider asking you to do that.” He grinned back. “I’ve got some stun guns you can use for now. Keep them in your purse, but have them out when you are alone in case you need them. It will give you a few seconds to get away. But seriously, you are smart girls. Stay together, and you should be okay.”
All of a sudden, the thought of Chuck entered my mind, and I cringed. “Chris there is this one guy. I don’t know if you have looked into him before. The guy you kicked out of the club.” I nodded to Dylan. “He said he was going to get me.”
“If I had any idea he had threatened you, I’d have killed him. I had no idea why Brad was kicking him out,” Dylan interrupted.
“He’s a hunting guide. I think he works for Big Game Outfitters or something like that. He wears a camouflage jacket that has a bear on the logo. What was his last name?” I tried to remember. “It was o
n the jacket. I . . . I just remember the name Chuck. It may be nothing, but he really frightened me one night, and I keep feeling like he’s been watching me.”
Later that evening, I tried to find out from Dylan exactly what Chris did for a living, but he said it was best not to ask questions. Why did Chris have a file on all of the murdered women? Why did he always go out of town? Where did he get all of his money? I didn’t get any of my questions answered, but I assumed he was some kind of agent or something.
We were sitting by the fire, and Dylan grabbed his guitar and started playing me something.
“Are you sure you won’t miss playing with the band?”
He put down the guitar. I could see my reflection in his eyes. “I’m gonna miss you more.” He leaned in and gave me a kiss.
The words, “I don’t want you to go,” came out even though I tried to suppress my feelings.
He kissed my forehead and gave me gentle pecks on each of my cheeks. A sudden gleam entered his eye. “Nicole, I’m going to Seattle this weekend before I go onto the Slope. You should come with me. You’ll love Washington. I don’t want this to end, Nicole. The month went by way too fast.”
I wanted to say yes, but there was a part of me that knew I had to be responsible. I was here to make enough money to get my Jessica here.
“You will love it. Brad will understand.” He took my hands. “Come away with me.”
“Brad will understand I have become a groupie and am now following a band throughout the country,” I joked, removing my hands from his. “Dylan, I’d love to, but I can’t. Weekends are when I make the most money.”
“When is Jessica coming up?”
“I hope next month.”
“So she won’t be here this weekend?”
“No. I have to rent a place for us to stay first.”
He leaned over and took my hands again. “Come away with me this weekend. You’ll love Washington. And I’d love to be the one to show it to you. Nicole, I can give you the money to bring Jessica up here.”
“I can’t take your money, Dylan.”
“Sure you can. It’d be better for both of you. This way you can concentrate on finding a place without having to worry about the money too.”
The Impostor, A Love Story Page 12