by Clare Revell
“Get out. How dare you.” Despite his angry tone, Jim placed tender hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her out the door.
Lou stepped back, just as angry, and rammed into the doorframe. Her shirt scraped and ripped on the edge of wood, cutting into her arm. Pain filled her, ricocheting from her shoulder down her arm. Her eyes filled with tears and turning, she pulled herself free and fled up the steps.
~*~
Jim ran up the steps calling her name.
She didn’t answer.
Sobbing was coming from the bridge.
He went up the steps, only to be stopped by Deefer at the top. The dog snarled at him and growled.
“Lou? Are you OK?” He grabbed Deefer’s collar and stroked him, moved past and over to Lou.
Deefer growled again, warning Jim not to upset his mistress any more.
Jim knelt down beside Lou. She was curled up on the couch, heart-rending sobs shaking her body. “Lou, I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Are you OK?”
Lou shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I feel so bad.”
“So you should,” she sobbed. “Staci needs help.”
“There is no excuse for it. I can’t apologize enough.”
Lou looked up. A huge red mark showed through her ripped shirt.
“Oh Lou, I am so sorry,” he repeated. Tears now trickled down his cheeks and he pulled her into his arms. Holding her stiff, resisting body close to him, he cried. He had felt bad before, but seeing what he had done made him feel physically sick. “Forgive me.”
As he held her, his tears soaking her tee shirt, he repeated “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m worried about Staci. I know that’s no excuse for what I did.”
Lou looked at him. “You’re not the only one, Jim. I’m worried about her, too. That’s why I want to radio in and ask for advice. Just ask. And you didn’t push me, I sort of lost my balance; I was so angry at you.”
“I shouldn’t have laid hands on you, men don’t do that.”
“I’m OK, Jim.”
But she wasn’t, and Jim knew it.
They were silent for a few minutes, wiping faces and looking away from each other.
Jim broke the silence before it got more awkward. ”Can we radio without them sending help out?”
“Should be able to.”
“I’m still sorry I pushed you. I really am. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Forgive me?”
Lou said nothing. She wiped her eyes again and got up to sit at the helm.
The printer clattered into life.
Jim came up behind her as she tore the sheet off and looked at it.
“What’s that you’ve got there?”
“Storm warning. They’re worried the tropical storm in Bermuda will hit that front coming across from the west. If it does, it gets upgraded to Hurricane Erika. Here.”
Jim took the sheet of paper and checked it off against the chart. “Should miss us,” he said. “We might encounter side winds from the edge of the storm and it may get rough. If we change course we may miss it completely. What do you reckon?”
“You’re the captain.”
“Do you want me to take the helm?”
“No. You can relieve me at two.”
Jim sighed. “Look. We can’t go on like this. I’ve said sorry. I can’t undo what I did. I wish I could but I can’t. What more do I have to do?”
“Leave me alone, Jim. Just leave me alone.”
“If that’s the way you want it.” He scribbled on the notepad. “There’s your new course heading. Effective immediately.”
“Aye, Captain.”
Jim looked at Lou’s back for a minute before leaving the bridge. He washed up the few dishes and realized that Lou hadn’t eaten anything. He made a sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate and took it up to the bridge. “I’ve made you something to eat,” he said. Lou didn’t respond, so he sighed and put it down on the table, before going back below. He went into the cabin and switched on the nightlight, bathing the room in a comforting orange glow. He lay down on Lou’s bed and watched Staci.
Then he turned face down on the bed, overcome with guilt and shame over the way he had treated both his sister and his friend. One he couldn’t apologize to and the other refused to accept his apology. One tiny pebble can cause many ripples. Once again, he found that tears were very close to the surface. Closing his eyes, face down before his God, Jim did the only thing he could think of doing. He unburdened himself onto his Savior in prayer.
~*~
On the bridge, Lou ate her sandwich deep in thought. She didn’t share Jim’s faith. Church was for Sundays. It didn’t intrude on any other part of her life—one day a week was one day too many she reckoned. As soon as she could, she would stop going. She only went now because her mother insisted. Church was boring and not relevant. How could a loving God allow Di and Bill get caught up in an earthquake and then abandoned them when they were working for Him? Why did wars happen? Where was God then? No, she refused to believe in a God who could let things like that happen.
Her thoughts moved on. She knew she’d hurt Jim, too. She needed to apologize to him and ask him to forgive her. Just as she needed to accept his apology and forgive him. Jim didn’t usually get very angry at all, so for him to so completely lose it like that; she must have really touched a nerve. Jim was stuck between two terrors–finding his parents, or losing Staci, who would be his only family if he had lost his parents.
In truth, she had probably hurt him as much as he had hurt her. Her demand to radio in had forced him to choose between the people he loved.
She looked at her watch. Where had the evening gone? She went down to the cabins. Jim was face down on her bed and Staci was either unconscious or merely asleep.
Lou returned to the bridge, checked the course heading was what Jim had wanted and wrote Staci’s fall into the log. She also wrote it up in the official log book and detailed all that she’d done and Staci’s condition. She left the argument/fight out of both logs deliberately. She also noted the weather report they’d received and put the printout in the log.
She turned on the radio and re-tuned it to the shipping channel. The news was not good. The printer clattered again, confirming what she had heard minutes before.
The tropical storm, which had created havoc and caused damage on Bermuda, had collided with the large front coming in from the west. It had been upgraded to a hurricane. Its current course and speed took it away from them, but there was still a chance of rough weather reaching them. Or the storm could change direction.
She turned down the bridge lights and gazed into the darkness. The searchlight shone across the black water, the few stars glimmered between the clouds. It all seemed so peaceful out there.
Footsteps behind her made her turn.
“Jim...”
“Lou...”
“You go first,” Jim said.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it.”
“That’s OK.”
An awkward silence fell between them.
Then Lou said, “Your turn.”
“I haven’t slept. I can’t. I am so sorry I hurt you. I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“It’s OK. I forgive you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Like I said, it wasn’t really your fault. But you scared me when I thought you didn’t want Staci to have help.” She smiled at him. “Do it again and I’ll put you in the brig for the next seventy-five years.”
“We don’t have a brig.”
“Then I’ll make one.”
Lou fell into his opened arms and they hugged. They basked in each other’s arms, taking comfort after the grueling emotions. The first step on a long road.
“What’s the weather doing?” Jim asked, as he released her.
Lou sighed at the loss of warmth. “Nothing good. Hurricane Erika is a category three. Minimum surface pressure of nine hundred forty-
five millibars. Storm surges of nine to twelve feet or two point seven to three point eight meters if you prefer metric. Maximum sustained winds of up to one hundred thirty miles an hour.”
“Heading?”
“Should miss us by a hundred miles. We’ll get rough seas, rain, and strong winds. Nothing we haven’t had before.”
Jim crossed to the chart table. “Unless it shifts course. What are the chances of it doing that?”
“Too early to tell. How’s Staci?”
“No change. You go and get some sleep.”
“OK. Night.” She turned to go.
“Lou?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad we’re mates again.”
Lou smiled at him. “So am I. Love you too much to stay mad at you for long.”
She went down to the cabins, got ready for bed and crawled under the duvet, her mind in a whirl. The movement of the boat on the water usually relaxed her, but not tonight. She closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. She opened them as a clunk disturbed her.
“Sorry,” Jim said softly. “I made some cocoa and thought you might like some.”
“Thanks.”
Jim sat next to her. “I’ve altered course slightly again. It’ll put us a few days behind schedule, but it will be worth it to avoid Erika.”
“I guess so. If Staci’s still out cold tomorrow, maybe we should radio for help. Talk to a doctor, at least.”
“That’d be good. Thanks.”
Lou handed him her mug. “Thanks for that. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night.”
Lou lay down again. What had seemed like fun when they left Southampton had lost its appeal.
Staci lay unconscious and they were stuck on this boat in the middle of nowhere, with no one around to help.
No one, despite what Jim thought about his God.
11
When Lou woke, Staci was sleepy but opened her eyes. As Lou dressed, Deefer ran into the room and licked her hand in greeting. Lou made a fuss of him. Then, she went to find Jim.
“Morning.”
“Hi. Sleep well?”
“Eventually.”
Jim handed her a mug of tea and a bacon sandwich. “I was going to bring this down to you, but seeing as how you’re up now...”
“Thanks.” She took them over to the table. “Staci’s awake this morning. Do you want me to contact someone today, or would you still rather we don’t in case they make us turn ourselves in?”
Jim sat down and looked at her. “I’ve been thinking about that. I can see your point. This is my sister’s life we’re talking about. I have to put the needs of my crew before my own. Any of my crew—including you. And yes, I would make the same decision if it was you down there.”
“Did I really accuse you of not doing that?”
Jim nodded. “We both said and did a lot we shouldn’t have done yesterday.”
“A new day today,” Lou told him. “Let’s start over.”
“If Staci is awake, though, maybe we leave it for now. And maybe she is best out of it today anyway.”
“Why?” Lou asked with her mouth full.
“It’s July seventh. Mum’s birthday.”
“Oh, Jim, I hadn’t realized. Are you OK?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Better go back to the bridge.”
“I’ll be up in a bit.”
She picked up the box of cleaning stuff and went outside.
Once the polishing was done, Lou pulled out the yard broom, and began to sweep the decks. This was really tomorrow’s task, but if they got rain today, it needed to be done now.
She took down the washing, returned inside and checked Staci.
Her breathing seemed different somehow. Deeper and steadier, more like she was asleep than anything else.
Lou scribbled it in the notebook and then went up to the galley to start lunch. She dug out Staci’s soup recipe. OK, she decided, testing it half an hour later, it wasn’t as nice as Staci’s, but it was food.
She called Jim down and together they ate in silence. “That was nice. Thanks,” Jim said when he finished.
“Not as nice as Staci’s though.”
“She’s had more practice. I might go to bed for a bit if that’s all right. I feel really tired all of a sudden.”
“That’s fine. How’s the weather doing?”
“Erika’s kicking up a stink three hundred miles away. Here it’s OK.”
“Sleep well. See you later.”
Leaving Jim, Lou took her shift. She disengaged the autopilot and steered manually for a while, intently watching the sky. It was changing. Changing as she watched. She put the autopilot back on and increased speed slightly. Initially the sky was blue, with hardly a cloud in the sky--just a few high swirls. Then it started to cloud over, slowly at first, grey with a green tinge which got darker as the clouds piled up threateningly.
The wind picked up. The gentle breeze became stronger and rougher. Just after three, she hit the intercom. “Jim? Can you put the sail and mast down and top up the fuel tanks?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.”
Lou heard Jim wrestle with the sail in the rising wind. Then the mast landed on the roof with a thud. As he came onto the bridge, the cloud cover became total, plunging them into darkness.
Dark green-black clouds hung above the ocean, threatening, menacing, and waiting to unleash themselves on an unsuspecting world.
Jim flipped on the bridge lights. Then he put on the running lights and mast lights. “I don’t like the look of this.”
Lou said, “Nor me. What do we do?”
“Keep sailing. It’s best to just try to ride the storm out. I don’t understand though, it should have missed us.”
The printer clattered into action again and spat out another weather warning. Jim grabbed it and checked it against the chart. “Oh no.”
“What?”
“Erika’s changed course. She’s headed right for us.”
Lou glanced out of the window. As she did so, a jagged flash of lightning tore the sky in two and the first few heavy drops of rain fell onto the deck. Thunder rolled in the distance.
“Here she comes,” Jim said. “You’d better let me take over. After all, I am the Captain.”
Jim took the wheel from her as another flash of lightning ripped the sky apart.
Lou glared, but he didn’t back down.
“Lou, I’m not going to argue now. You have a complaint, then put it in the log.” Thunder rolled again, closer now, and the wind began to howl. “She’s my ship. Just go and batten down the hatches.”
Deefer came hurtling onto the bridge, barking loudly. He buried his nose in Lou’s hand and worried it.
She knelt down and stroked him firmly. “It’s all right boy. Let’s go find Staci.”
The rain thudded and the boat rocked as the leading edge of the violent storm hit them. “I’ll get out of your hair,” Lou said. “If you need me, then shout.”
Jim nodded and glanced at the readouts.
Pressure was still dropping. Lightning flashed and the thunder followed less than six seconds later.
The boat rocked again, sending all the cups on the side to the floor.
Lou picked them up and put them in the cupboards. She fastened the storm catches, which prevented the cupboards from opening when the boat rolled.
Deefer howled and crept below Lou’s bed.
Lou hauled herself into the cabin, over to Staci’s bunk and strapped her in. The cut was bleeding again, so wedging herself to keep balanced, Lou fastened another bandage on top of the original one.
~*~
On the bridge Jim tried to keep Avon on course or at least heading the right way. Not knowing what experienced captains would do, he was reluctant to use the autopilot in case he needed to change course quickly. The wind hit with such force that Avon lurched, first one side touching the water, then the other.
The waves, Jim realized with horror, were as ta
ll as Avon herself - if not taller. Wave after wave towered above the little boat, crashing onto her with resounding thuds, jarring already stressed timbers as they hit with enough force to severely damage the boat several times over. They rattled against the windowpanes, seemingly in direct competition with the rain.
Lightning flashed and the thunder answered almost immediately.
Jim struggled to keep control as they plunged from the dizzy heights of heaven to the bottomless pits of hell.
Avon rolled and tossed and turned.
Jim swallowed, desperately trying not to be sick. Then he thought he was hearing things as a voice filled the boat, singing the sailor’s hymn by William Whiting. Jim recognized the voice as Staci’s, but not Staci’s.
“Eternal Father, strong to save, whose arm hath bound the restless wave. Who bidd’st the mighty ocean deep its own appointed limits keep: O hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea.”
“Do you hear that?” Lou pulled herself up the steps to the bridge.
Before Jim had chance to answer the boat rocked under the impact of a huge wave and for several horrifying moments, Avon was completely submerged.
Lou grabbed onto the rail for support.
Jim clung to the wheel, desperately trying to bring the boat round. He swallowed several times, and as Avon finally surfaced, he sighed with relief. “Yes I did,” he said, answering Lou’s question. “Was it Staci?”
“No, she’s still out of it. It wasn’t me, either.” She looked at Jim closely. “You look like death warmed up. Are you OK?”
“Not really,” Jim admitted.
Lou grabbed the wheel. “Let me take over for a while,” she said firmly. “I may only be a girl, but I can sail and I don’t get seasick.”
Jim released the wheel. He was immediately knocked off his feet as Avon heaved over another gigantic wave. “I’ll be below,” Jim said. “Where’s Deefer?”
“Under my bed,” Lou replied not daring to take her eyes off what she was doing. “What heading, Jim?”
Lightning rent the sky in two, and as Jim replied the thunder drowned out his words.
“West,” he repeated. “Or as near as possible.”