by Regine Abel
“Khel told me,” Aleina interrupted, a look of distress flitting over her features.
My eyes widened. It was contrary to Khel’s character to divulge personal stuff like that. Reading my expression, she gave me a sad smile and recounted how Khel had ripped her a new one, thinking she was cock-blocking Ghan. I couldn’t help but laugh.
She, however, wasn’t amused.
“Don’t let him know that you’re aware of his condition unless he tells you,” I warned her, eliciting a questioning look from my aunt. “Remember what I said about Lhor? I had just saved him from death the day before I asked him to mate. If Ghan knows you’re aware of his condition, he will resist even more, thinking you’re doing this out of pity.”
“But I’m not, and I can keep him alive,” Aleina argued.
I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I should come clean with her.
“What?” she asked, eyeing me with suspicion.
I took her hands in mine and licked my lips nervously. Not knowing how she would react to my announcement made me anxious. Despite the past three years, I was only now getting to know the real Aleina.
“My mates and I had a conversation about Ghan last night.”
“And?” she asked, her frown deepening.
I took in a deep breath then went for it.
“When my season starts in six weeks, I will let Ghan drink from my wrist.”
Shock then seething rage twisted her features. She ripped her hands out of my grip and took a couple of steps back. A dead branch snapped under her foot, the sound cracking like a whip.
“You’re already mated,” she hissed, her hands fisting.
A cold shiver ran down my spine. For a moment, I wondered if she would fight me.
“It’s not what you think. It’s nothing sexual or romantic. He’s like a brother to me,” I explained, my tone appeasing. “My mates have enhanced me enough that my oxytocin levels will naturally be extremely high throughout my season even without stimulation. It’s powerful enough to reduce Ghan’s Taint.”
Aleina’s chest heaved with repressed anger while she tried to rein in her emotions.
“I can keep him alive,” she repeated.
Keeping my voice soft, I reminded her of the very speech she’d given the Sisters about first generations inability to heal and, in this instance, the excruciating pain Ghan would live in without my assistance. With each of my words, Aleina seemed to close in on herself and wither from within. She hugged her midsection and looked away.
“Even there, I’m inadequate,” Aleina said bitterly.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and gave them a stern shake.
“Don’t you dare say that! You are more than good enough!”
“I can’t give him children, not even a daughter. I can’t cure his Taint or reduce his pain. What good am I?”
“You are his soulmate. No other female can ever complete him or make him as happy as you will. Not to mention, you will keep him alive.”
The vulnerability in her eyes tugged at me. I understood that insecurity.
“Khel and I spoke of having children for the first time after I had cured him of his Taint. He desperately wanted a boy to continue his bloodline since both his father and only brother had passed away,” I said, caressing the gentle curve of her shoulders with my thumbs. “When I reminded him that as a Veredian, I couldn’t have males, he was devastated. I felt inadequate and ashamed to be so lacking, even though it wasn’t my fault.”
Aunt Aleina’s lips parted in surprise, her sorrow giving way to an emotion I couldn’t quite interpret.
“I thought he would repudiate me. After all, he was healed enough that, between his noble status, wealth, and power, he’d be guaranteed to be selected at the next Fastening Ceremony. And yet, here I am, with a beautiful daughter and two healthy sons.”
“You are second generation hybrid,” she argued, discouraged.
“I am a daughter of the Goddess, like you are. She has a greater plan for us,” I said with conviction. “How many times has she blessed you? From your rescue by the original Tuureans, reuniting with Nana, surviving that assassination attempt, and now finding your soulmate? Without you, Valena, Zhul, Lhor, my son, and I wouldn’t be enjoying our freedom right now. We’d be the-Goddess-only-knows where being experimented on. Many more blessings await you. Have faith! The Goddess didn’t bring you this far to abandon you now.”
A glimmer of hope twinkled in her eyes. Her features softened with love, and she pulled me into her embrace. We held on to each other. The hot rays of the suns pierced a path through the thick canopy of the trees to shine on us, warming us to the bone, as if in a sign from the Goddess bestowing her blessing.
“Your mother loved you so much,” Aleina whispered in my hair. “She would be so proud of the female you have become.”
My throat constricted, and I tightened my hold around her.
“Will he be proud of me?” I asked.
Aleina pulled back to look at me with a gentle smile.
“Your Papa will be beyond proud when he finds you. He made me promise to look after you, so please don’t tell him you’re the one holding my hand the day we find him.”
I laughed through the tears that wanted to surface. Aunt Aleina could never tell me enough about my parents.
“I promise, if you promise to fight for Ghan.”
Her smile faltered. My tone hardened.
“Promise, Aunt Aleina! You fight for your mate. He’s a stubborn fool, like all these Xelixians. Lhor tried to throw me out of his apartment when I went to claim him. But I gave him no choice until he had to relent.” I pointed a stern finger at her. “So you hound him until he gives in. Kick his ass if you have to. We both know you can.”
She snorted.
“Just send me a recording when you do,” I said with a smirk.
CHAPTER 8
Ghan
Two days into the long journey to Jeruna in the Eastern Quadrant, I had all but worn a groove in the flooring of my personal quarters as I obsessed over Aleina. I always prided myself for my cool-headed, rational thinking. My ability to cast aside ego, vanity, and fear had been the guiding force in my life and the rule by which I lived. Minh’s words still resonated in my ears. While I agreed with them, the worst insecurity gnawed at me, pushing me to hide like a coward.
Before our departure, I had sought Lhor, prepared to submit myself to the humiliation of seeking his advice. Like me, he had reached the last stages of the Taint before Amalia claimed him. We’d never talked about his symptoms. The Tainted didn’t discuss such matters among themselves. Not all of us reacted to the toxin the same way. Had he also been unable to… perform? If so, how had he handled it? With his guidance, I would work up the courage to express my feelings to Aleina.
Unfortunately, Amalia had cornered me before I could reach her mate. My mind still reeled from her offer—more like her demand—that I drink from her. It both shocked and moved me. Once more, warmth flooded my chest thinking of my little sister. No female before her had ever shown me such selfless love. That she’d faced Khel’s legendary jealousy to try to save my life spoke volumes.
And Gharah’s blood, he consented!
My General… my brother. That, too, spoke to the true depth of his friendship. I couldn’t believe Khel would allow any male to drink from his mate, even me. Part of me felt I should say no. I did argue at first, but the rational—and selfishly greedy—part of me realized this incredible offer actually meant the real chance of a future with Aleina.
My beautiful goddess.
Another surge of excitement and hope battled with the anxiety that kept my stomach in knots. Amalia’s oxytocin could revert my Taint enough to make me a true male again. Part of me wanted to wait until this was done before I allowed myself to pursue Aleina. But I would never be able to give her the runaround for six weeks. Worse still, she might then think I only committed to her because I was fixed. She needed to know that in spite of my shame, I would do anything t
o be with her, even endure constant agony.
Leaving Sohr in charge of the Marauder, the command ship of our Xelixian fleet in this mission, I took a shuttle to the Tempest, Lee’s battlecruiser that still had both Khel and me drooling with envy. As the Tuureans—or should I say, Veredians—had put their recreational and advanced training facilities at our disposal, the warriors of the First Division could come and go freely onboard the ship.
While no one questioned my presence, I nonetheless felt self-conscious, thinking everyone was staring at me knowingly. It couldn’t be further from the truth, but both nerves and paranoia were messing with my mind.
My feet led me to Aleina’s private quarters, my steps faltering as I approached the door. She would be off-duty at this time. But what if she had company?
I should have commed her first.
But then she would have asked me why. I couldn’t have answered truthfully and would have lost the courage to proceed. Taking in a deep breath, I raised my hand to her door, but the door slid open before I could touch it. The familiar tingle tickled my nape as Aleina stood, startled, before me. She had been in the process of tying her hair in a tail while exiting her quarters. Recovering from the surprise, Aleina dropped her hands, her curly hair cascading down her back.
My heart seized as I peered down the length of her body. She wore a black sports bra and matching, skin-tight shorts that hid nothing of her muscular, flat stomach and endless, sexy legs. She’d clearly been on her way to the training room. Swallowing hard, I looked back up at her perfect face before drowning in the gold and green sea of her eyes.
“You’re breathtaking,” I blurted before my ears started burning with embarrassment.
Her eyes widened, and her lips parted before she bit the bottom one as if to hide the flattered smile that blossomed on her mouth. Cheeks warming, Aleina lowered her eyes, her fingers fiddling with the waistband of her shorts. The sharp contrast with the tough Admiral Lee awoke my protective instincts with renewed fury. It took every ounce of my willpower not to pull her into my embrace, and not just out of protectiveness.
“Thank you,” she whispered, then waved at herself in a somewhat clumsy gesture. “It’s just my training clothes.”
“I wasn’t referring to the clothes.”
What in Gharah’s name…?
I flinched, unable to believe I’d just said that. My mouth seemed to have gotten a mind of its own tonight. Aleina’s hand flew to her chest, her stunned expression turning into a blushing giggle. If not for her pleased reaction, I would have died of humiliation.
“Wow!” She whispered it so low I barely heard it. She cleared her throat and gestured toward her quarters. “Would you like to come in?”
“If you don’t mind,” I said. “Unless you are expected elsewhere?”
“Oh no, not at all!” she said quickly. “I was going to train because I was dying of boredom. Please come in.”
She stepped aside to let me in, and the memory of our last meeting here replayed in my mind. The way I had run shamed me. I hadn’t meant to reject her, and least of all hurt her feelings. My parting words had been meant to lessen the blow but had it been enough? At least, she didn’t seem to hold any grudge.
Stopping in the middle of the room, I rubbed the back of my neck while the last of the tingle faded.
“You feel it, too?” Aleina asked behind me.
I turned to face her. “The Tuning?” I asked.
Aleina recoiled slightly in surprise. “You know of it?”
I nodded. “We’ve been reading a lot about the Korletheans since Amalia entered our lives. They hold the answers to a lot of things concerning the Taint, Geminates, and maybe even Veredian reproductive issues.”
She blinked, a troubled expression fleeting over her harmonious features.
“I never felt it before until Kamala removed my armor in front of you,” she said with a nervous chuckle.
“Same.”
“Does it… Does it bother you?”
Despite her efforts to hide her insecurity, the tension in her voice gave her away.
“That you are my soulmate?” I asked.
Aleina’s throat worked as she swallowed audibly, then nodded.
“Only a fool would be bothered to have been blessed with a female such as you.”
She beamed at me. The tenderness and hope settling on her face warmed me from deep within. Aleina took a couple of steps toward me then stopped, uncertain what to do.
“Is that why you’ve decided to…?”
My voice trailed off. I needed to know if she truly cared for me like Amalia had loved Lhor or if she was simply responding to the urging of our Tuning.
It took her a second to understand my unfinished question. The moment she did, her face lost all trace of uncertainty and she leveled me with a fierce, confident, if somewhat offended, stare.
The Admiral is back.
That almost made me smile.
“I am not attracted to you due to some random twist of Fate,” Aleina all but snarled. “I have watched and admired you from a distance for three years. Three long years, pining and longing for the male I loved and was unable to reveal my feelings to. The Tuning has nothing to do with it. I spoke up because I’m finally free to do so. All the Tuning does is confirm what my heart already knew.”
My stomach twisted with too many conflicting feelings. Joy and gratitude warred with resentment over lost time and fear that the side effects of my Taint might drive her away.
She closed the distance between us, her hands reaching timidly for my waist.
“I grew up convincing myself I wanted nothing to do with males because of what fate awaited a Veredian slave in the compounds. Once the Tuureans freed me, I never gave males a second thought, until you.” Her eyes flicked between mine, searching. “My heart knew you from the first time I saw you. I have ached for the day I’d finally get to speak these words to you, and prayed you would welcome them.”
My chest swelled to bursting. A dull ache pulsated against my ribs and, for the first time in as far back as I could remember, I stopped hiding my emotions and let my eyes and face express the depth of the feelings she stirred within me. I cupped her face in my massive hands with care. She leaned into them without fear. My thumbs caressed her cheeks before my fingers gently caressed the delicate curves of her features. She closed her eyes, her grip tightening on my waist.
“Sameha,” I whispered, then brushed her lips with mine.
She immediately responded, pressing her mouth and body against mine. I wrapped my arms around her, and she tightened her own embrace. A wave of pleasure unlike anything I’d ever felt surged in the pit of my stomach. The hot, coiling sensation swirled in my belly before diffusing outwards. A deep moan rumbled through my chest.
Her lips parting and her tongue teasing mine startled me. I broke the kiss, feeling a little awkward. Like most Tainted males, I was a virgin and had never shared any form of intimacy with a female before; not even kissing.
As a career soldier, I should have had experience. Most warriors visited the pleasure barges during their leaves while on space missions.
I had not.
First by lack of interest; the Taint messed with our libido and severely dampened our sexual drive. And second, because of my appearance. Of the many words that could be used to describe me, ‘pretty’ didn’t apply. My roughly carved, brutish features, my bulky constitution, and the terrible scar that used to cross my face before Mother Maheva’s intervention, normally sent both males and females alike running for cover. Before Amalia, and later, the other Veredians, very few females had been able to stand the sight of me without squirming uncomfortably.
Aleina gave me a questioning look.
I ran my thumb over her plump lips, fighting the need to kiss her again.
“We need to talk before we get in any deeper,” I said, dreading the conversation.
She frowned, looking somewhat confused, but nodded.
“Let’s sit,”
I said, gesturing toward the reading area we had used last time.
“Okay.”
She grabbed my hand and rather than head for the reading nook, she dragged me toward her massive bed. I instinctively followed, my mind going numb for a second. My steps faltered, but Aleina pulled harder on my hands.
“I’m sitting right next to you,” she explained, “not in a separate chair facing you.”
Okay, fair enough.
The nook didn’t have a couch, just individual armchairs. My skin warmed at the prospect of further contact with my soulmate. But my stomach also knotted, fearing she might regret such proximity once I’d said my piece.
I sat at the edge of the bed. The mattress, firm yet incredibly comfortable, didn’t whine under my weight. Aleina sat next to me, our arms and legs touching. Physical contact usually made me uneasy. Right this instant, however, I wanted to pull her onto my lap and cradle her close to my heart. She grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers. Our joined hands rested on my lap.
The liquid gold of her eyes locked with mine and she waited patiently for me to speak.
“Over the past three years, I have grown to admire and respect you tremendously,” I said, choosing my words carefully. “Although I greatly enjoyed your presence, I never held a romantic interest toward you. You were my friend, the Admiral.”
She nodded, her attention focused on me.
“When your armor unraveled and I laid eyes on your face for the first time, I knew that I had finally found you. My heart and my soul recognized you. I don’t know if the Tuning has anything to do with it, but all I know is that my every breath, thought, and waking moment is filled with you and the ache to be near you.”
Aleina’s eyelids fluttered as she lowered her glistening eyes, beaming, yet shy.
“The other day, when I walked away, it tore me up inside.” My voice grew somber. “I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to.”
She sobered, her intense gaze bore into mine.
“So why did you?” she asked, the soft, throaty sound of her sensuous voice sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.