“I have food,” I said sheepishly as Holger held open the door for me. Daniella looked up and flashed me a half smile.
“Whoa,” Lili said as she rushed over to take the coffees out of my hands. Daniella wasn’t far behind. She took the breakfast sandwiches from Holger. Or tried to anyway.
“Nonsense. I am here to serve. Come ladies, gather round.” Lili and Hannah joined him on the couch. Even Jade got with the program and came over and grabbed a seat in the armchair.
“Hey,” I said to Daniella.
“Hey.”
“Can we go outside and talk?”
“Of course.” She grabbed her iced coffee and followed me outside. I knocked on the window of the SUV and asked PJ to pop the trunk.
“Thanks,” I said as I lifted the tailgate. “PJ, you can go for a walk if you want.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Fair enough. Ear muffs, then.” PJ just shook his head and went back to looking out the window.
“I forget that he can talk sometimes,” Daniella whispered as we both climbed up and took a seat in the back of the Suburban.
“Me too.” I took a deep breath and did my best to hold off with the crying, I knew it wouldn’t last very long. “I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up really bad and I don’t think I can make it right.”
“Oh, Kay.” Daniella sighed and let her head fall on my shoulder.
“I know you’re mad at me and I feel like it’s just going to get worse.”
“What makes you say that?”
“’Cause I don’t know that it won’t happen again. I feel like I can’t make promises anymore because my life isn’t just mine anymore.” And then the waterworks started. I reached for the pack of tissues I had in the pocket of my cardigan.
“Yeah, but I understand what happened. It’s pretty freaking understandable. I wasn’t—I was mad, but I think it was for different reasons at first than you’re thinking. I was mad that you made me worry. I thought you were dead. And then I was worried about the babies and then you again. And then I was super pissed because I felt like a complete asshole during that meeting.”
“Debbie made it sound like you crushed it though.”
“Yeah, and that was pure luck. I have no idea what would have happened if you and I weren’t at least a little on the same page, if you hadn’t sent me some of the early designs. I felt like a complete jackass. It ended well, but I definitely panicked in the beginning. I had no clue if they would just yank the offer. I don’t know. I take this shit seriously and then when I found out that you’d just overslept—okay, I was mad at you. And now I feel worse because it is completely understandable. I mean look at you.”
We both looked down at my stomach. I wasn’t bursting at the seams, but it was pretty fucking obvious that I was pregnant. Daniella sighed and rocked forward a bit. “I am happy for you. You and Michael have pulled together this amazing life and now twins? It’s crazy. This time three years ago, you and me were trying to distract ourselves from our boring as fuck jobs by plotting how to get Gordo to ask John out at the Halloween party. That was as excited as it got.”
“That was pretty fun, though.”
“It was and even more fun when John turned out to be a complete tool and Gordo couldn’t shake him.” We both laughed. Our days in corporate human resources seemed a world away. “I don’t know, I guess I never thought that you dating someone would have such an impact on my life. And then when you were M.I.A., I just had this moment of what the fuck am I doing? Duke and I are done for good. I swear this time. And you and Michael are starting this next huge chapter and—”
“And you don’t know if you want to be a part of this?”
“I don’t know if you do.”
Even fatter tears ran down my cheeks. This was the conversation I didn’t want to have. This was what I wanted to avoid. “I didn’t think this through, any of this. I didn’t want to freeload off Michael and I’m good at graphic design. I thought it would be a great idea to start this company and of course Michael could make it all happen. He also made this happen.” I rubbed my stomach again. “It was all just happening, but I wasn’t thinking long term at all. And I dragged you in with me.”
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t exactly like it took much convincing. I was rushing along on this ride too. Do you want to sell the company?”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“But you don’t know what you want to do?”
“I want to survive this pregnancy with my sanity intact. I want whatever comes next to make you happy.”
“You know I’m not attached to all this right?”
I whipped my head around. “What do you mean?”
“This is your baby, dude. I’m glad to be on the team, don’t get me wrong, and I am beyond pleased to not be working at Tellett anymore, but I’m not attached to this concept. I mean, I’m a little attached to Queer Qards ’cause you make the bestest cutest designs for that line, but the rest? Eh. Greeting cards aren’t my passion.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I just want you to keep me in the loop. I knew you were having a rough time, but you are also like the queen of hyperbole.”
“I do tend to exaggerate from time to time. You may be right there.”
“I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Do I look that bad?” I teased. I’d actually taken my time getting ready that morning and I’d gotten a decent night’s sleep. I looked fabulous.
“No, but you look different. You’ve changed and I’m not just talking the tummy tenants. I didn’t realize you were this exhausted. I don’t even know how you finished the proposal on time and finished all the other design shit we have going on.”
“And that’s why I don’t know what to do. I...I want to stay home with them. My mom worked, but she or my grandma was always with us. I don’t want some random nanny or Holger—good, god, can you imagine?”
“You’d have these cute babies with the weirdest German accents, living in South Florida.” I looked over at her, the shock clear on my face. She’d been thinking about me living there for good too.
“And that is the other thing. Michael and I, we have to stay. Above all this, even all his other projects, the team takes priority. He has to show his face and I have to be there with him. These kids are going to be spoiled as shit, but I don’t want to be flying my children back and forth across the country all the time. And before, at least when you and Duke—”
“Yeah, I had excuse to come to Miami all the time.”
“Yeah.”
“You can still be my excuse though, right?”
“You can use me as an excuse to rack up as many air miles as you like. There are things there that money can buy, but I want to be a good mom.”
“You will be, Kay. I know you will.”
We sat there for a few moments in silence, listening to the traffic go by on the other side of the hedges.
“Life is weird, huh?”
“It definitely is,” Daniella laughed. Then she stood and faced me and let out a deep breath. “Okay. First things first. Let’s think about the actual work. Do you still like designing greeting cards?”
“I do.”
“Okay. So there’s that. Do you want to do this project with Notable Moments? Try not to think about the babies, just for a sec. Does this project still interest you?”
“It does.”
“Okay. Then I propose this—we hire an Art Director or something similar. Someone who can create and oversee designs and take some responsibilities off your plate, but you’ll still have final say.”
“I actually like that idea. Okay, yeah.”
“Then I say you take a proper maternity leave. Take a real break. Obviously you can bug us and barge in whenever you like, but take a real break, real time for you and your family. California law gives you twelve weeks, but I think we can bump you up to sixteen because you’ve really shown some initiative here, Bradbury. You’ve earned it.”
“Thanks, boss.”
“But really, take the time you need and then in a year or whatever, we reevaluate. We’ll get this Notable Moments thing off the ground and hey, maybe they’ll buy us out. We’ll make sure Jade and Hannah have somewhere to land if they’re still here and then I’ll pack up Lili and we’ll move on to the next thing. Shit, by then I’ll have some real years of operations management under my belt. I can go anywhere!”
I laughed and playfully swung my foot at her. “I think that’s a great idea. Get in here.” I opened my arms and squeezed Daniella tight as she stepped forward and hugged me. When she pulled away she looked down at my stomach.
“God, what does it feel like?”
“Like my organs are being jammed up in my neck. And I couldn’t be happier about it. Here.” I took her hand and put it on my stomach.
“That is so crazy. They can hear voices right? Does Michael talk to them?”
“Every day.”
“Of course he does. You two make me sick.”
I looked up as the door opened and Lili slid out. She walked over to us, biting at the corner of her nail. “Is everything okay? I don’t like it when my moms fight.”
“Everything is fine,” Daniella said.
“I was just about to butt into your sister’s business actually. Maybe you can help me.”
“Were you really?”
“I was. I think you should work things out with Duke.”
“I second that,” Lili said. “He’s kind of a bonehead, but he really loves you.”
“Well, girls. That’s gotta be a two-way street now, doesn’t it?”
“You saying you don’t love him?” I asked, appalled at the blatant fib.
“If I told you how I was really feeling, you’d think I’d lost my damn mind. My breakfast sandwich is getting cold and I’m sure we’ve all got work to do. Let’s get inside, shall we?”
Lili and I exchanged some knowing glances before we followed Daniella into the office.
✶
Five and a Half Months and One Extended Maternity Leave Later
I snapped another picture and sent it to the girls over WhatsApp. Hannah responded to the group chat first.
OMG STEAL THAT BABY!
I laughed and tilted the phone toward Zia so she could read as I responded.
OMG I DON’T WANT TO GO TO JAIL!
Daniella replied next. So cute! I’m coming to the next shoot for sure. I can’t handle it!!
I rolled my eyes as Jade sent a single thumbs up emoji. At first she was a little reluctant to join in our shenanigans, but she’d finally caved and joined the sisterhood. She liked being a part of the team. So far Daniella’s plan had worked out perfectly. We hired Edie Sims-Stokes, who’d been aching to leave her job in advertising. She was the perfect addition to K&D, a smart, funny, forty-something black woman who took the perfect amount of work off my plate. She seemed to be the glue to pull us all together. Edie kept us in line, and with her, the whole concept of Cards by K&D now had a sense of stability that made me feel like it was definitely worth holding on to.
I worked right up to my delivery date, but as it became harder and harder to even use my laptop on my lap, I focused only on my designs and our partnership with Notable Moments. The first “season” of the line had been very well received. Even though I wasn’t the face, thanks to the lasting media buzz over our wedding and the announcement that we were having twins, we were able to bring a lot of attention to the products. The huge launch party we had with a mixed guest list of celebrity and regular moms didn’t hurt either.
“He has to be the cutest baby you’ve used yet,” Zia murmured.
“I know.”
We stood back and watched Debbie and the photographer, Carlos, as they finished up. He shot one more series and then Deb waved me over. Little Oliver’s mom came up to the elevated platform in the center of the room and scooped him up off the mat. He’d been so good for the whole shoot. Zia joined them and kept the model and mom company like she did every shoot. She loved working with kids.
“What do you think?” Deb asked. “I think we go it.” Carlos clicked on the monitor and showed me the last few dozen shots. We’d done four outfits on Oliver and they all looked great. We had plenty of shots to choose from for the website and more than enough if we wanted to used him for some ads.
“I think it’s perfect. I’m good if you guys are,” I replied.
“I just want to know when we’re going to get your girls in here,” Carlos teased for the hundredth time.
“I’ve been trying,” Deb added with her kind smile. Deb was a little quirky, an older white woman from Long Island who had the weirdest laugh, but I liked her. She trusted me and gave me room to work. So far our partnership with Notable Moments was working out just fine.
I scoffed at their not-so-silly request. My daughters were cute as shit, but… “Give us a few more months and I think we can try for Brayden. She loves the camera. Bethany, not so much. She’ll sit still for anything, but the moment you start snapping pictures she’s like, no, no photographs please. How a four month old figured out how to block her face from the camera, I’ll never know.”
“Well whenever they’re ready, we will gladly use them. And hopefully we can get Mom in on it too,” Deb winked at me and then turned to Oscar and his mom to let them know they were free. Carlos announced to the crew that we were wrapped for the day.
I hung around a little while longer, thanked Mora for letting us hire her son, said my goodbyes to Deb and the crew, and promised to catch up with Zia tomorrow, after she turned down my invitation to join us for dinner. She had a date. Emmanuel was waiting for me on his stool perch by the stage door.
“Are you ready, Miss Kayla?”
“Let’s do it.”
There was some traffic, but we made it back to the house in thirty minutes. Patch ran to meet me at the door.
“Hello?” I called out.
“We’re in here,” Michael replied, in a sing-song voice. I smiled to myself. I knew what that voice meant. I walked into the living room, right in the middle of tummy time. Michael was lying on the floor with our daughters as they wiggled around. Penny was on the floor between the girls, her head resting on her paws, supervising. I knew this was practice for the development of very important motor skills, but I could not resist. I held out my hands and shuffled across the room right for Bethany, making the most ridiculous noise as I went.
I scooped her up and kissed her right on her chubby little cheeks. “Hello, my sweet baby. Hello. Oh, I missed you.”
Michael sat up and held out his hands for her. He knew the drill. It was Brayden’s turn. I scooped her off the floor and smothered her was the same adoring kisses. She made the cutest little noise. I was definitely going to keep them both. They were just so cute.
The rest of my pregnancy can only be described as completely ridiculous. Back pain, joint pain, skin pain, organ pain, face pain, balls of my feet pain. Did you know your sternum can bend? ’Cause I didn’t. I was as big as a house by the time I went in for my scheduled c-section, but I wouldn’t change anything about it. I walked in, convinced I’d never touch my toes again and I came out with two beautiful, healthy baby girls. You could tell right away that they were fraternal. Bethany favored Michael and Brayden looked like a perfect mix of us both. They both came out with full heads of the softest black hair. Brayden had Michael’s blue eyes and, as if to ensure that we never mixed them up, Bethany came out with one brown eye and one blue. They were both perfect.
I sunk on the couch with Brayden in my lap. “Did either of them take a bottle?” I asked, pulling my shirt open. “My tits are about to explode.”
“Bethany did ’cause she’s a team player and she likes to cooperate. Sometimes. But that one?” Michael made a face at Brayden and she wiggled her feet at him.
“She likes it from the source. Don’t you, baby girl?” I whipped out my boob and Brayden went right for her dinner. “Oh thank god.
” I groaned.
“How’d the shoot go?” Michael asked as he stopped Patch from licking Bethany’s face. Both he and Penny had been amazing. I was worried at first. As my stomach got bigger, Penny actually became more protective of me, sometimes getting between Michael and I in the most adorable way, but by the time I’d reached six months, Patch was thoroughly weirded out. I couldn’t exactly explain what was going on to him in words he’d understand. Michael and I had had the talk, and if either of them couldn’t handle being around the babies we’d have to rehome them, but both of the puppies had been so well behaved from the moment we brought the girls home. A little over excited at times, but always sweet and always gentle.
“Shoot was great. Great baby. Great mom. I hope we can use them again.”
“That sounds awesome.” He glanced at his smart watch. “We can tag team bath time if you want. I gotta call into KTMA for tip off at eight though.”
“I absolutely want. You know how much I hate being outnumbered.”
“I do.”
I sat on the couch, nursing Brayden until she was milk drunk and nearly slipping into a coma, then gave Bethany a go. Every so often I’d look over at Michael. His beard had a few more gray hairs, some pure white, but he was still just as handsome as the day we met, and somehow more kind, more caring, and more full of love.
He caught me staring at him with a particularly dreamy look in my eye. He shifted Brayden in his arms and joined me on the couch.
“Gimme some sugar,” I whispered.
“Oh I’ll give you something sweet.” He leaned over and kissed me soft and long, right on my lips. We had seven years max before kissing in front of the kids started to gross them out. But for now…I teased the inside of his bottom lip, just a little with my tongue. He returned the favor, offering a little bite.
“Yup,” I said with a pitiful groan when I pulled away. “We’re definitely having sex tonight. Butt stuff sex, maybe with little Mikey,”
SO FOR REAL: A Sugar Baby Novella Page 9