by Karen Gordon
She reached up and touched a wave in his hair, “I hope she has your hair.”
He pulled back, but only because this was the first time he thought about his daughter looking like him. She would definitely have some of his traits. Please let her only get the good ones.
“As long as she’s as smart as you.”
Amanda worked as a nurse’s aide at an old folk’s home where she earned almost double what he made. She had completed her certification for the job while still in high school and passed with flying colors. She was also a quick study and hard worker, so she had already moved up one rank and was aiming for a department head position. Although she’d never mentioned his lack of motivation and opportunity for growth at the warehouse, it was top in his mind right now.
“Maybe I should take on a second job?”
The waitress brought their drinks and Amanda gulped down her water and her coke in minutes.
“No. Why? We’re fine. Most of the medical stuff will be covered by my work.”
Maybe he was seeing too far into the future, but he couldn’t help all the ideas popping up in his head of dresses and a decent car and maybe college.
“We could use some savings. We don’t have any. She’s gonna need stuff.”
He so wanted to get this right, to be everything his parent’s weren’t, and he was just starting to feel the pressure of it.
Amanda gave him an indulgent smile. “Can we not worry and just be happy for a while?”
He laughed at himself. Twenty years of being colossally laid-back and he started to change after only one ultrasound.
He was quiet through lunch, trying not to over think all of it, but it had just really become real to him less than an hour ago. Maybe because Amanda could feel her body changing she knew, in her bones, that this was really happening. She had had more time to realize things, like the fact that their baby would look like them, that she would need things, and what kind of parent she wanted to be.
She let him brood while she ate her burger and fries, then she scooted closer, flopped both her legs over one of his, and fed him some of her ice cream sundae.
She studied his face. “You have a worry line between your eyebrows.”
He breathed out a chuckle, tried to relax, and smiled back at her.
“I would have bet money I would never see you this worried. What gives?”
“Being a parent …” He shook his head at his memories. “I just can’t let her life be like mine.” He nodded with is chin toward Amanda’s stomach.
She rubbed the tiny bump. “That’s sweet.” She took another bite of ice cream before pushing into a territory they had avoided until now. “Do you remember your mom at all?”
He shook his head. “She left right after I was born.”
“So, she was there when Stony was born, left, came back and had you, then left again?”
“Yeah, I know. It’s almost too crazy to be true. Stony remembers her a little. She was around for like a year or so when she got pregnant with me.”
“And your dad? He never talks about her?”
He laughed that off. “No.”
“Nobody knows where she is?”
He shook his head.
He had stopped answering and was starting to look sad, but she wanted to know more. They had been together for a year and a half and he had never opened up to her about his mom.
“Do you know what she looks like? Do you have a picture?”
He looked out the window, trying to collect himself before answering, “I had one but I’m not sure what happened to it.” He paused, theorizing. “Dad had this one girlfriend, Ginny, who lived with us for a year or so. She wanted to marry him, and wanted us to act like she was our mom.” He shook his head at that idea. “I think she took it.”
Amanda chewed her lip, trying not to cry. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck but he didn’t return the hug. He was too lost in his painful memories.
♪ ☺ ♥
Amanda stayed away from the subject of his mom after that. He was stressed out enough about the family he was creating in the present. She would come home from work to find him reading her “What to Expect” books and full of questions–did she know that thirst could be a sign of gestational diabetes? Was she taking prenatal vitamins? Was she sure they should still have sex even though she was almost in her third trimester?
That one really made her laugh, which only got worse when he kept adding to it, “I mean, you know, because I’m big?” He had a point (and she loved it) but she still couldn’t help laughing.
He pulled her down on the couch with him where he had been reading. “Laugh at me, will you?” He positioned himself half over her, careful not to squish her stomach. “I know how to shut you up.”
She was still laughing when he kissed her, but she stopped quickly and kissed him back. His hand slid down the front of her blouse and gently massaged her already sensitive breast. Even through her clothes it felt amazingly good. She moaned into his kiss and started helping him remove her clothing as quickly as possible. All the talk about sex and his cock already had her horny. And she loved to be naked now. The way he looked at her, studied her curves, it made her feel like a goddess.
She was sliding her scrub pants down when her cell phone buzzed in the front pocket. She went to grab for it but Steve got it first. Still kissing her, he held it away from her, out of her reach. He was only teasing, but she went into panic mode, pushing him off the couch and snatching her phone from him.
He watched, perplexed, as she quickly checked the number then turned her phone off before throwing it toward her purse near the front door. The mood had changed. She was nervous and irritated. He wanted to ask who it was, but he hated that question, the one she had asked him over and over when she was convinced he was cheating.
Chapter 11
On the way to band practice Lexi was spouting off all the facts she had learned about Austin, evidently the band member she now had her eye on.
“So, his mom was like Miss Texas, or Miss Dallas or something, but anyway, she married this rich investment banker from New York, and I guess she missed home so that’s where he got the name Austin. Not that he’s all like country, I mean, he’s in the same frat as Josh. That’s where they met. I don’t think he has a girlfriend …”
She paused, waiting for MG to join in, maybe to suggest that Lexi should be that girlfriend. But MG was too nervous and desperately trying to remember the lyrics to “You Oughta Know.” She picked the song because it was loud and she might be able to scream-sing enough to cover her lie. When she told Josh in class, he thought it was a great choice and assured her that at least him and Austin knew it. He figured Daniel did too or could work it out. Even Josh had to admit he was a great guitarist.
There was only one blue house on Cherry Street. It was a big old Victorian-looking place that seemed to have two front doors. MG guessed that Daniel must just rent part of it like so many college kids did. She and Lexi went straight to the detached garage. All the doors were closed against the frigid winter air, but you could still hear the sound of the band starting a song, then stopping and arguing. MG gave Lexi a cautious eye-roll and heaved a deep breath before going in through the side door.
As soon as they walked in Daniel stopped playing. A minute later Austin and Josh did too.
“What the hell are they doing here?” Clearly no one told Daniel they were coming today. “I told you no girlfriends at practice.”
MG was about to point out that she wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend when Josh did it for her.
“She’s here to sing.”
“What the fuck? No way.” Daniel unplugged his guitar.
Josh came out from behind his drums. “Goddammit, we talked about this.”
“No, you and Austin talked about this, and I said NO.”
“It’s not like you’re not going to sing at all, we just need her to sing a few songs.” Austin looked to be the level-headed one in the group.
“Fuck you. Cause unlike you, I don’t need to do shit like that to get in her pants.”
OK, that was not the defense MG was hoping for, but then again, he didn’t deny wanting to sleep with her. She wasn’t sure if that was a step in the right direction or not.
“Look, what’s the harm in letting her sing one song? If she’s not right, then we’ll leave things the way they are.” Austin was still trying for a diplomatic resolution.
“No, we only do shit we all agree to. I didn’t agree to this.” Daniel set his guitar on the stand. “Practice is over. Get the fuck out of my garage.”
He was walking toward the door when Austin gave it one more try. “One song.”
Daniel didn’t turn around but shouted. “No!” over his shoulder as he banged the door shut.
“Fuck!” Josh punched a cardboard box. “If there were any other way to do this …”
“I know, man ...” Austin was unplugging and turning stuff off.
They finally remembered that MG and Lexi were still there.
“Look, I’m sorry. He’s being a little bitch, but there’s not much we can do about it.”
“It’s his drum kit, mostly his amps, his garage we practice in …” Austin continued the apology Josh started. “He’s got us by the balls, so it’s always his way.”
There wasn’t much MG could say, so she just nodded like she understood. She hoped she looked a little bummed out even though she was beyond happy not to sing for them. The bigger question in her mind was would Josh still have any interest in her. She almost fainted with relief when he offered.
“Let’s shut down here and go get some drinks.”
Lexi pinched MG’s elbow with excitement. MG knew she was having visions of herself getting together with Austin now, which seemed kind of crazy. Didn’t she see that he was pretty much out of her league? Then again, did she look the same way chasing after Josh?
There was only one way to find out and there was nothing like liquor to drop inhibitions and bring on the truth.
“Sure, where do you want to go?” It seemed like a silly question, considering there was only one bar in town, but they surprised her with their answer.
“How bout we pick up some beer and drive over to Crofton?”
Austin added, “Yeah, we could hit that barbeque joint you like.”
Crofton? It was an even smaller town than the one they were in and like a half hour away. MG had never pictured herself road drinking to a barbeque joint with a rich guy. That’s she same shit she’d done at home with her friends. It was kind of a letdown, but what the hell. She wanted to spend time with Josh and see if he was feeling the spark too.
♪ ☺ ♥
The ride to dinner was awkward at best. Austin drove his ungodly cool beast of a Hummer, and Josh sat up front with him. MG and Lexi sat on either side of a cooler of imported beer in the back seat. OK, it was somewhat of an upgrade from road drinking back home.
Unfortunately, Lexi proved to be a lightweight drinker and went into continual-talk mode after her second beer. The guys kept encouraging her, asking her questions, and MG was starting to get the sick feeling they were having too much fun at Lexi’s expense.
“So, MG, what did you do for fun in St. Louis?”
It was the way Austin asked it that gave her that “Elly Mae Clampett come to call” feeling she had often felt in Manhattan.
“Not much.” She shook her head, letting him know she wasn’t taking the bait.
“The girl will not give up the goods, man.” Josh was talking to Austin but smiling at MG about their joke. “I got my men in Vegas working it. Won’t even tell me her whole name.”
OK, now he had her laughing. Maybe she was just too sensitive about the whole rich/poor thing. Lexi seemed to be having a good time.
Dinner was more fun. Josh and Austin actually sat by the girls, and they all loosened up as the beer kept flowing. The drive home was even better. Josh positioned himself in the back seat next to MG, pushing the cooler to one side so it wasn’t between them. Lexi was playing with all the buttons on the dash and didn’t notice when there was no more talking in the second row.
Josh unhooked her seatbelt and pulled her over on to his lap, her legs straddling him. There was no hesitation or discussion and his confidence was as intoxicating as the beer. He pulled her in for a kiss by pulling on the front of her blouse and unbuttoning it at the same time. Her brain was too drunk to completely engage but her body sure wasn’t. She met the urgency of his kiss with her own, scooted forward so he could reach all her buttons more easily and started groping for a way under his shirt to reach his skin. She rocked forward, allowing his lips access to her sensitive neck, and felt his erect cock pushing against her clit. Oh, god. She had almost forgotten this high--the bliss of floating on a wave of lust. Had she really just spent almost two years without it? Her boozy mind floated to feelings and images of Steve taking her on this high, keeping her there, then bringing her over the edge, feeling deliriously happy.
Now here is was again. Only this was Josh. She stopped kissing him long enough to take a long look at his gorgeous face. She didn’t know where to kiss or grab first. With her hands in his already messy hair she pulled in close to suck on the black earring that had her attention from the first time she saw him. He turned his head to allow her better access. She kissed down his neck, feeling his chest rise and fall with his heavy breathing. She wasn’t sure where this would go or when she could summon the will to stop, but Austin took care of that.
“Alright, we’re here.”
They were parked in front of the freshman dorm. Austin had repositioned the rearview mirror so he could clearly see MG and Josh, and his look said, you’re done. Lexi was looking at him with eyes that said, let’s start.
“Josh, get off the babysitter.”
MG laughed, the only other person to get Austin’s Risky Business reference. Her buzz had worn off just enough to realize he was right. Even as turned on as she was right now, this was not going any further with him and Lexi in the front seat. It was time to get off the Josh and stumble into her dorm.
He kissed her one more time outside the car before he got into the front seat. There was no “I’ll call you” or conversation about getting together again. Lexi was standing on the sidewalk, looking far too eager for something similar from Austin. They both needed to play it off as casual fun, keep their dignity and go inside, but she had to pull Lexi up the stairs in a move that looked anything but cool. Poor girl had it bad, and not that she didn’t, but at least she knew she would see Josh again in class.
Chapter 12
Josh didn’t ask her out again, but he also didn’t avoid her in class. He sat next to her, making her laugh too often, and flirting with her. The professor was actually pretty cool about it and only jokingly threatened to separate them when they got too distracting. She and Lexi went to watch his band play a few times, and he always sat and drank beer and talked to her during breaks, but never said anything about meeting up after. Lexi was definitely still interested in Austin and made sure that he knew it. MG would cringe at her blatant, unrequited flirting then wonder if she was doing the same thing.
The Friday before spring break it finally happened, Josh asked her out. Daniel was having a party at his house for anyone still left in town. Most of the students had boarded their parent’s private jets sometime Friday and were already headed somewhere tropical.
As excited as she was to be going on an actual date with Josh, she wished it was anywhere but Daniel’s place. He never even said hi to her and still seemed pissed about the singing thing. Josh assured her that it wasn’t her. Daniel was just always pissed about something. The one girl he did pay attention to was this really pretty Tri Delt who had started coming to watch the band play. Daniel smiled at her a lot and MG thought she might have even seen him give her
a quick kiss outside the bar one night. If anything, MG could get the scoop on them tonight and actually have some gossip to tell Lexi.
♪ ☺ ♥
They rode the eight blocks from her dorm to Daniel’s house in Austin’s Hummer. The past few weeks had been warmer and a little spring-like, but they were calling for one last blast of winter and some snow tonight.
Before they even got to the party Josh transformed from flirt-friend to hot and horny. He made her sit on his lap in the front seat on the short drive to Daniel’s; his warm hands suggestively tracing the design on the pockets of her jeans. Before they walked in the house he pushed her against the side of the car and kissed her. It felt incredible but left her more confused than ever about what he wanted from her.
They entered through the back door into the kitchen where Josh put the two bottles of wine he brought on the counter. He pulled a corkscrew from his coat pocket and went to work opening one of the bottles. MG looked around to see if there was anyone here besides Josh and Austin for her to talk to (not that it looked like Josh wanted to do a whole lot of talking.) What got her attention was the kitchen curtains, they were clean and covered with little cherries and cute. They also matched the pot holders hanging near the stove and a towel hanging over the oven door handle. Everything in the kitchen said that this was a home, not a college guy’s apartment.
Josh handed her a Solo cup of wine (so much for rich and classy), and they headed into the living room. Sure enough, this was a family’s living room; framed photos on the walls, side tables with some women’s magazines, a candle in a ring of flowers as decoration. Daniel lived here, as in lived here. Daniel was a townie. Holy crap. On the Moreland social totem pole, townies didn’t even exist. They had neither the money nor the brains to get into the college but most of them worked there in some capacity.
From this perspective Daniel seemed less like a pissy prima donna and more like a guy with a huge chip on his shoulder, one she carried herself at times. If he grew up here, then he had spent his whole life on the outside looking in. Having spent a year in Manhattan doing the same thing, she could only begin to understand how he felt. Fuck, she wanted to talk to him now, to let him know she wasn’t really one of them either. But what do you say? Hey poor guy, I’m poor too.