by Karen Gordon
Chapter 17
Any other day everyone would probably try to talk Steve out of driving to New York. Today they rallied behind him.
While Pat printed the last few maps and stapled them together, they called Carrie and Gina to let them know that MG was OK. Casey’s mom offered to make him something to eat, and he remembered that his breakfast sandwich was still in his jacket pocket. He hadn’t eaten in days.
He gladly accepted a sandwich and chips and a soda while Pat charged his cell phone for him. They all wanted to pool their money to help him out, and he was about to accept it when he remembered--he knew where he could get a couple of hundred, in cash, fast.
He stopped by his dad’s apartment to let him know that he was leaving, but more importantly to raid Stony’s hidden stash. In the vent in the bathroom was a roll of cash and a few bags of various drugs. It was what Stony had accused him of stealing back in high school and beat him up over. He’d known where it was all along, but he’d be damned if he would ever tell Stony. Now he was stealing it, or borrowing it. He’d figure that out later.
With nothing more than a few hundred dollars, a working cell phone, a pack of cigarettes, a huge roll of maps in his back pocket, and a cold, coagulated breakfast sandwich he left St. Louis at sunset to go be with MG.
♪ ☺ ♥
By sunrise he was in Northern Ohio and exhausted. He needed gas and food, a shower and coffee. He stopped at a big truck stop and found all those things, plus a packet of NoDoz, some cologne from a dispenser in the bathroom, and a clean Lynyrd Skynyrd tee shirt.
The coffee, NoDoz and cigarettes helped keep him awake, but as he got closer to MG’s school, adrenaline kicked in and had his heart racing.
Thank god he had a street address because he had no idea what any of the Greek letters were on the fronts of the big houses. It briefly crossed his mind that she must have changed a lot since he last saw her if she joined a sorority. It was a very un-MG-like thing to do. She had sounded like she wanted him here, wanted to see him when he called yesterday, but now that he was here … he was questioning if they would be the same together.
He knocked on the door and waited. He had never been on a college campus, but this one seemed almost abandoned–eerily quiet. He knocked again, a little harder, still no answer. Fuck! He had come this far; he couldn’t let manners stand in the way of him seeing her now. He opened the door and walked into the sorority house.
The inside reminded him of a funeral parlor--lots of expensive furniture and fancy decorations and a heavy, hushed sadness in the air. He followed the sound of a TV to the back of the house where he found a room full of girls, maybe fifty or more, huddled together, watching the news.
A few turned to look at him. They had pleading eyes, like they hoped he would be there to give them some news.
“Um,” he kept his voice quiet, not wanting to disrespect the mood, “I’m looking for MG.”
Then he saw her, across the room, sitting on the floor with her head leaning on another girl’s shoulder. Then she was all he saw.
She got up and quickly stepped around clumps of girls on the floor to get to him. With every step that she drew closer his heart pounded harder.
He reached for her and she reached back. Touching her hand sent a shock through him, straight to his heart. When she was close enough, she jumped up and grabbed on around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist, as tight as he could, keeping her feet dangling off the ground.
And he breathed in. MG. Home. The other half of his heart.
She was silently crying, her body shaking, her face nuzzled into his neck. He could hear her jagged breathing and sniffing in his ear.
Her pain ripped his open–her leaving, Amanda, Meggie, the attack–it all came to the surface. He dropped his head into her soft hair to hide the tears he could no longer fight.
She held on tighter and wrapped her legs around his waist.
♪ ☺ ♥
Sophomore year of high school MG was at a party, at some football player’s house; back before she knew that wasn’t a safe place to be. She had gone there with Steve and Carrie because word had spread that everyone was invited, and everyone was going. One of the senior players, Tim Zieser, had cornered a very drunk MG outside, where the cars were parked. A lot of that night is a blur, but she remembered shock and fear, as she gagged when he forced his tongue down her throat then fought with him as he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. She remembered relief when Steve found her. And she remembered love when he defended her to Tim who called her a drunk whore. Then Steve carried her half way home, with her arms and legs wrapped around him, just like now.
She had almost completely forgotten that night, but the past two days had left her feeling as freaked out and afraid as when she was attacked. And wrapping herself around her best friend, around Steve, reminded her how much he meant to her. How she could always count on him to be there to catch her when she fell.
He carried her out of the TV room then sat on the stairs with her still wrapped around him. When her crying subsided enough to catch her breath she whispered into his neck.
“You came.”
He pulled in a deep breath and rubbed her back. “Told you I would.”
She sat up and studied his face, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. “How?”
He leaned into her hand so she would touch is hair like she had always done. “I still have Stony’s bike.”
“You rode all night and all today on a motorcycle?”
He breathed out a small chuckle. “I would have walked if I had to.”
She looked him in the eyes, seeing the truth in what he’d just said, and she was at a loss for words. She leaned in to kiss him, but stopped. This is what she had always done, used sex to hide behind or talk for her, but he deserved more.
She leaned her forehead into his and breathed in his breath. “I love you.”
He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile.
“I’ve loved you since high school, since sophomore year.”
He started to reply, but she cut him off. “I should have told you.”
“You’re telling me now.”
She smiled at his constant forgiving nature. “You’re too good to me.”
He shook his head and dropped it and laughed. “No,” he kept shaking his head, “No.”
She wrapped herself around him again and breathed in. His hair smelled like cigarette smoke, a smell she normally didn’t like, but somehow whatever brand he smoked, the way it clung to him, it was comforting.
“You must be exhausted.”
He breathed out a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I am.” He gently stroked the back of her head as she lay on his shoulder, both of them starting to crash from their emotional highs. “Is there someplace we can go?”
“My dorm room, I guess, or there’s a motel.”
“Let’s go there.”
MG slowly peeled herself off of him, reluctant to let go. “Let me go tell Alex I’m leaving and to call me if she hears anything.” Empathetic sadness washed over her and her voice shook when she told him, “She still hasn’t heard from anyone.”
Steve squeezed her hand before she walked away.
When she came back, she handed him a set of car keys. “Alex said we can take her car. I told her we would call and check up on her later.”
Steve launched himself up from the step and wrapped one arm around MG as they walked out of the sorority house to the line of cars parked on the street. Any of them would have blown his mind to drive, but she stopped at the Bentley. He hesitated before opening the door.
“This is your friend’s car?”
It had become so familiar to her that she forgot what an over-the-top luxury car it was. “Yeah,” she shook her head. She had so much to tell him, just not right now. “It’s cool. She won’t mind you driving it.”
♪ ☺ ♥
Fear of doing any damage that would cost
him more than a year’s wages woke him up a little. He followed MG’s directions and carefully drove to a little old strip motel on the edge of town.
He checked them in. The man behind the desk, probably the owner, looked him over with suspicion when he peeled a hundred from the wad of cash in his pocket to pay for the room. When Steve purposely set the Bentley key chain on the counter that attitude was replaced with more cordial service. So that’s what it feels like to be rich.
They walked to their room in silence, arms around each other. He shut and locked the door as MG pulled the block-out drapes completely closed. In the dim room they found each other and hugged.
“Do you need any food or anything?”
She shook her head no. He was taking care of her when she should be taking care of him.
He reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She did the same to him. She unbuttoned his jeans while he unhooked her bra. They both stepped out of their pants and underwear. In their exhaustion, they had fallen back into an old routine, sleeping together, naked. So many times in high school he had driven her car home for her and stayed when her mom wasn’t there.
They stopped and studied each other through half-closed eyes and let their foreheads fall together. He started walking backwards, pulling her along with him to the bed. He reached back and pulled back the covers, then pulled her into bed with him.
They arranged themselves into their favorite position, facing each other, legs entwined, her forehead against his chest, his cheek resting on the top of her head. He pulled her in close with his top arm, kissed the top of her head, and said what he’d always told her, “Sleep.”
Chapter 18
MG’s phone was ringing. In her dream she was back in high school in her upstairs TV room with her friends and her cell phone was ringing. Wait. She didn’t have a cell phone in high school.
Her eyes popped open when she realized the ringing was real. She looked around the dimly lit room … where the hell was she? This wasn’t her room in St Louis, but Steve was here sleeping next to her, just like in high school. She reached out and touched him to see if he was real and breathed relief when he was.
The pieces started to fit together–hotel room, Steve at school, the attack in New York, waiting to hear from her mom.
She shot out of bed at the final thought and began searching frantically for her phone. There was a faint light coming from the floor at the end of the bed. That had to be her phone in her purse.
She snagged her purse, dumped everything out of it onto the floor and grabbed her phone. It was her mother’s number on the screen.
“Mom?”
“MG?”
“Oh, my god, mom!” It was the first time she had heard her mother’s voice since the attacks two days earlier. She started shaking and choked on a sob of relief. A warm arm wrapped around her from behind and tugged her back onto the bed so she was sitting between Steve’s legs with him wrapped around her.
“I’m sorry I woke you, but the phone finally started working. I wanted to call so you wouldn’t worry.”
“No Mom, it’s OK. Oh, god, I’m so glad you called.” MG took a breath to try and calm her voice. “Randy called, when it happened he told me you were OK. But, god, oh my god, it’s so good to hear your voice.” Steve entwined his fingers with hers to steady her shaking hand. His breathing was deep and calm and steady at her back.
“I’m at the apartment and I’m fine but things are still really crazy here. Don’t try to come here.”
“I won’t, but, will you come here?”
“Oh, baby, of course I will. They’re saying the subways and trains will start running again in a few days. I’ll come up there as soon as I can.”
“OK.” MG breathed out her relief knowing that her mom would be there soon so she could see her and hug her. Everything going on in the city seemed so unreal that she needed to touch her to know that she was really alive.
Amber sensed her worry, “MG baby, are you OK? Did Randy come get you? You’re not alone, are you?”
“No,” she burrowed farther back into Steve’s warmth. “I’m not alone. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Just … come see me. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I will, honey. I’ll be there soon. But you call me, now that the phones are working. You call me if you need me.”
“I will. I love you, mom.”
“I love you too, baby. Get some sleep.” Amber hung up.
MG looked at the time on her phone, four thirty a.m. She should get more sleep, but she was wide awake from the call. She rubbed her thumb over the screen where her mother’s number had finally appeared and stared at it. Her brain still processing relief after so much worry.
“What’s up?” Steve pulled his legs in tighter around her so she was curled up into a ball against him.
MG shrugged, lost in thought. “I just … I don’t know. I was just wondering why me.”
“Why you?”
“Why I got the lucky star.” She leaned her head back against his and he kissed her hair. “Alex and so many others, they don’t know, they haven’t heard any news, no one came for them.” She turned in his arms so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. “I don’t deserve you.”
He shook his head to disagree, but MG stopped him by threading her hand in his hair.
“I don’t. I let you down. I was so stupid.” She shook her head again. “That night, at my house, when you told me you loved me. I loved you, too. I knew I did, but I couldn’t say it.”
He dropped his forehead to hers.
“And now, you come all this way, for me.” She shrugged. “I don’t understand why good things always happen to me. I’m not complaining I just … don’t feel like I deserve it. ”
♪ ☺ ♥
Steve smiled at her logic and at the idea that he was considered lucky by anyone, let alone by her.
“You are probably the only person who would consider me showing up good luck.” He lay back on the bed and pulled her with him then tugged the covers up around them against the chill of the room. She smiled at his joke, as she found a warm, comfortable spot next to him.
He was on his side, curled around her with her head pillowed on his arm. Ironically, this is almost exactly how they had been lying together, three years ago, when he told her that he loved her. Being here with her now, jacked up on emotions again was like a flashback.
“That time, when I stayed at your house, when you drove in the snow storm to get me … I meant what I said. I did love you, but you didn’t have to say it back. I didn’t tell you so you would tell me back.”
“But I …” He cut off her protest by putting his finger on her lips.
“No. You did the right thing. I couldn’t see it then, but I do now. You’re going someplace. You’re in college, and after you’re done you’ll have this great life.” It hurt to say it, especially holding her in his arms, but he had to speak the truth. “I’m not the guy for you–not for your future anyway. I work third shift at a warehouse and probably always will. I drive a motorcycle that my junkie-inmate brother stole. I have a family I would never ask you to be around.”
She looked at him with sad eyes but didn’t say a thing. It was true. And the truth hurt.
“All I want to do right now, for the next few days, is be here for you. Whatever you need me to do. I can’t offer you much more, because I don’t have much more than that.” He looked deeply into her eyes, wanting to imprint his words on her soul the way she was imprinted on his. “I love you, MG.”
He felt his heart tighten in his chest, not because of what she did or said, but what she didn’t do or say. She used to look away or make jokes or kiss him to distract him when he tried to be serious with her. But tonight she held his eyes, her own tearing up. “I love you, too. I swear I do.”
She reached up and touched his face, running her hand across the stubble on his cheek.
“When I thought you were gone, when I saw the news …” He se
arched for the words to describe what he thought he had lost. “I just couldn’t imagine my world without you in it. Even if you live a thousand miles away, I just need to know that you are there, that you’re all right. I need to know that you will call me or find me if you ever need me.”
She squeaked out, “I’ll call you,” through her tears.
“I’m not kidding--anytime, anywhere. You’re it for me, MG. You are the only person who has ever come for me, ever cared enough to. I love you too much to ask you to give all this up and come live my shitty life with me. Just promise me that I can be there for you, that you’ll let me care for you too, when you need me.”
“I need you now,” she whispered, and pulled him down so he was lying on top of her. “I need you to love me.”
He leaned back just far enough to see her face then kissed her, gently, slowly, savoring the feel and taste of her. She tasted like salty tears, like MG, like home. No other girl had ever come close to giving him this feeling, and with her was the only place that he ever felt like he truly belonged. He poured all the passion he felt, and his own need for her into his kiss–wanting to be her home, the place where she felt safe and loved.
They were still Steve and MG, high school friends and lovers, but now so much more. Everything felt the same, but different. He wasn’t trying to impress her with his latest moves, and she wasn’t trying to make him laugh. They had played at love then; they were in deep now.
He relaxed on top of her, using his weight to connect with every inch of her body down to her toes. His fingers entwined with hers, bringing them further together. He used the weight of his hardening cock to press against her clit, starting to fuel her need. He leaned into her neck and breathed her in, while feeling the soft caress of her hair against his cheek.
He wanted every part of her; body, heart, and soul to know that he was there, with her, making her feel good, loving her. He kissed her lips, neck, and shoulder and he rocked into her, building toward her climax and his.