How could he have been so blind? He knew the brothers had questionable morals at best, for how else could they amass such wealth and influence, but this was beyond him. Finn could hardly grasp what it was they wished to achieve.
And how had they convinced Rurik? How long had Rurik been scheming? Finn had no answers, and the harder he tried to think back on it, the further he felt from the truth.
Disa was slumped forward, her hands braced on the horses bobbing neck. Finn tried to pull her up, but she resisted. “Stop.”
“I’m sorry,” he said lamely, his mind devoid of any explanations or excuses that could make either of them feel any better.
“Stop,” she repeated, her voice breaking.
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to hear him speak but he couldn’t help it.
“No, you don’t--I’m going to be sick. Stop. Stop!”
“Oh.” Finn pulled up the reins sharply, the horse whinnying in protest as it skid to a halt, Disa falling back into Finn once more. He tried to help lower her to the ground, but she slid from his grasp and stumbled away. Finn felt stupid and selfish for the hundredth time in the last few minutes. He couldn’t stop thinking of his brother and the how, how, how.
She wretched next to a nearby runestone, the dry heaves yielding nothing but a harsh and painful sound. Finn took a few tentative steps towards her, unsure of what to do with all the anger and all of the guilt and all of the love crashing through him. He put a hand on her back, moving closer when she kept still, and pulled her hair away from her face.
“Disa,” he murmured. “Disa, I--”
“Get off of me,” she hissed, jerking away from him. Her eyes were bloodshot but dry, her face bright red. He reached for her again on instinct, her obvious distress too much for him. “Don’t.” She slapped his hands away from her. “Don’t touch me.” She kept hitting him, beating on his chest and shoulders and arms, punishing him in his brother’s stead, and Finn let her, his hands raised in submission and not defense. “Get away from me, get away from me!” she raged over and over again, shoving him as hard as she could though he refused to be moved.
“Disa--”
“Stop it!” she cried. “Stop saying my name. Stop saying you’re sorry. Just stop everything. And get. Away.”
Finn was pretty sure she was moments from drawing her sword on him so he caught her wrists and held them loosely while she struggled. “I can’t help it. I am sorry, Disa. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
She stopped trying to beat him to death and screamed instead, the tears finally gathering in her eyes, and the sound was worse than the cut from any blade.
“Kill me if you want. Hit me until your fists bleed, I don’t care. I’m not moving. I’m not going away.”
“He killed my brother.”
“I know.”
“The bastard murdered the only family I have.”
“I know.”
“Stop saying that! You don’t know. How could you possibly know?”
Finn tried to suppress his emotions, telling himself it was Disa’s turn, Disa’s right, but it bubbled over anyway. “You think I don’t know? You think I don’t understand? Of course I do, Disa. You lost a brother? I lost a brother. That man tonight? That isn’t my brother. That isn’t the Rurik I grew up with, that I helped raise. That isn’t the man I fight for, the Jarl I lead boys into battle for. Your brother died at the hands of a stranger, and so did mine. And I can’t even begin…” Finn trailed off with a growl. “Do you know what’s worse? When he came out of that tent, when I understood him for the bastard that he was, there was a moment--the briefest of moments--where I thought ‘Yes.’ Where I felt a twisted sort of happiness because you couldn’t marry him. Not anymore.”
“Finn…” Now Disa was the one approaching him, trying to quiet his shouting, and he was the one backing away.
“I love you,” he croaked. Disa stilled and kept quiet. “I love you so much, I’d gladly damn my own flesh and blood for you. I mean, what is wrong with me? I find out that my Jarl and brother is a monster, and I can’t help but think at least you’re mine now. I’m as bad as he is,” Finn spat as he gestured back down the path where presumably his brother was safely ensconced with their enemies. Finn leaned against the runestone, the rock shifting under his weight, and buried his face in his hands. He was suddenly so tired.
“Are you done?” Finn looked up to see her looking as exhausted as he felt, the ghost of a smile playing about her lips.
“Not even close.”
Disa sighed and leaned into his chest, her arms wrapped tight around herself. “He has to die.”
Finn swallowed. “I know. But I’m taking you north first.”
“No.” She tried to pull back but Finn wouldn’t let her.
“Disa, yes.”
“WE have to kill him. Not you, not me, we.”
Finn shook his head. “I swear to the Gods--” No, not strong enough. “I swear to you, I will kill him, but I’m taking you home first.”
“My home is dead. You...You’re all…” Disa’s voice was thick and she couldn’t free the words. “We go together or not at all.”
Finn pushed the hair from her face and trailed his fingers along her jaw. “Disa…” he pleaded.
“Together. Or not at all.” They stared at each other for a long moment, and Finn felt his will weakening. There was no way he could leave her alone, not now. Not after...everything. “Both our brothers are dead,” she whispered. “Let’s kill the man that killed them.”
Finn pressed his forehead to hers and breathed her in.
“Ok.”
“Say it again,” Finn commanded, his voice flat and emotionless as he felt the edge of one of the blades he’d stolen from the mercenary camp a few hours before. He had been making plans and issuing orders all night, giving Disa a glimpse at ‘Warrior Finn,’ an image she’d only known briefly and at a distance. “Again,” he repeated, pinning her with a hard stare.
“No.” She found his bossy tough guy attitude sexy as hell, but she wasn’t repeating the plan to him anymore.
“Disa—"
“If we don’t have it by now, it’s not going to work anyway.”
“Be serious.”
“I am!” she cried. “I’ve got it, Finn. Be helpless, get Rurik alone, you come and get us both, Rurik dies. It’s not that complicated.”
“It’s too easy,” he complained.
“Not again…” she groaned.
“I think you should stay behind.”
“I’m not staying behind.”
“I could do all of this by myself, no problem.”
“Yeah, if you wanted to die.”
Finn waved her concerns away, finding the idea of his death either unfounded or inconsequential. “We only have a few hours to make sure we’re ready. We’ll have one chance to take him outside the village walls. He’ll be much harder to get to once he’s safe inside.”
“It’ll be ok.”
“If you stayed here--”
“For fuck’s sake, Finn: NO.”
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “Fine.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“Fine! But once the plan is in motion, you do as I say. Exactly as I say. No argument.”
“Fine,” she snapped back.
“And don’t die.”
“I won’t,” she sang, rolling her eyes against her better judgment.
“I’m serious,” he nearly shouted. “You cannot die.”
“Any man can die.”
“Not you. Say it.” Disa’s voice caught in her throat. He grabbed her by the elbows and shook her once. “Say it.”
“I won’t die.”
“Say it again.”
“I won’t die.”
Finn was on fire, already prepared for a fight that was still hours away. He pulled her forward, her arms splayed awkwardly to the side, and kissed her hard. Disa kissed him back as she twisted her forearms from his hands and
wound them tight around his neck, keeping her eyes closed as Finn pressed her into a tree. The length of his body was tight against her, her breaths shallow, and she was desperate to press all of her anger and fear into him, to let him take her away from the hours both ahead and behind her.
They could read each other with ease now. Disa could tilt her head just as he needed her neck and Finn could shove her skirt up around her waist just when she couldn’t take another second of not being touched. There were no soft caresses and shared laughter this time, only hard edges and need. Finn picked her up, his palms wrapped firmly around her backside, and Disa hooked her legs around his middle. A tug of fabric here, and hand guiding there, and he was pushing inside of her, her elbow behind her neck, her other arm stretching above her to grab fruitlessly for support. Each thrust was stronger than the last as they flirted with the limits of their control. Disa was making far too much noise, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Finn covered her mouth with his, his own sharp intake of breath the only thing that betrayed him as he found his release. Disa could feel her arms shaking; her back pleasantly sore where it had scraped against the bark, and she didn’t even care that the pleasure had been one sided. The rough act had soothed her nerves better than any pretty speech could have.
It wasn’t enough for Finn though. He pulled her away from the tree and laid her out on the ground, his teeth scraping along her breast and stomach as he moved quickly lower to cover a different part of her with his mouth. Soon she was shaking all over again, her rough moans increasing with every throb of feeling inside of her. She started to squirm, his persistent pressure almost too intense, and then she was coming undone around him, her hands clamped over her own mouth to quiet her lusty surrender.
Finn sat up, watching her with hooded eyes as she pulled herself back together. She pushed her skirt down half heartedly, but really all she wanted to do was stretch her legs out like a cat in the sun and then pull him back inside of her. Something told her that Finn could tell. She moved a few feet away from him, her back against the tree once again, and her heart skipped a beat as he grinned impishly, forgetting their looming task for just a moment. Disa laughed back at him, aware that she must look sexed, her hair in disarray, her bodice full of grass, her cheeks flushed pink.
Then they heard the distant sound of men and horses, and both their smiles fell. The moment was perilously close. Disa couldn’t help but think this was just like them, wedging moments of peace and happiness between violence and danger, her only consolation being it was almost over. One way or another, this uncertainty ended today.
Finn’s face was stony once again as he stood and picked his weapons up off the ground, stowing them safely at his hip before offering his hand to Disa. She quickly pulled on her fancy overdress she’d been wearing the night of the attack and secured her belt around her waist, abandoning her stolen sword with regret.
They didn’t speak. Instead, the two of them crept together through the brush nearer to the path. They needed isolation for their plan to work, and the men were fast approaching the long stretch of cleared land that lead to the village. Rurik was leading the pack with Oslaf and Agnar, and Disa noted with no small amount of trepidation that a large portion of the soldiers they had seen the night before were nowhere to be found, not to mention the elder brother, Ragnar. The two of them shared a questioning look, and Disa was glad they’d decided not to speak because she was quite sure Finn was thinking of a hundred new reasons to keep her from the plan.
Disa nodded at him, her eyebrows raised in the unspoken question. Go now? Go anyway?
Finn pursed his lips and looked at the group before nodding reluctantly.
Her heart began to pound wildly as she watched Finn melt back into the trees, quick and quiet. She knew he was watching, that he couldn’t be that far away, but she suddenly felt very alone. She crept closer to the main road. Now that she was alone and not talking over Finn, loudly declaring she could handle it, Disa wasn’t so sure. The man had killed her brother. She’d shared wine with him, let him put his hands on her, and giggled as he’d whispered things in his ear. She wasn’t sure she could bear to face him, especially like this.
Her moment to withdraw had passed though. Their horses would be upon her in a moment. She shut her eyes and prayed for strength, her fingers running over Grim’s bone carved beads on her belt. The time was now.
Finn watched as Disa threw herself into danger, watched as she flung her arms around his bastard brother’s neck, thinking to himself what a mistake this was. Couldn’t Rurik tell how false her emotions rang? Couldn’t he see the bruise on her neck from Finn’s teeth? When he brushed his hands through her hair, couldn’t he see the flush in her face that Finn had put there not fifteen minutes ago? His brother sounded off, his eyes too bright, his smile too forced. He was more inconsistent than Finn had ever seen. They’d caught him unawares.
Good.
He gripped his hand reflexively over the hilt of his sword and considered moving in now. What were thirty men against a jealous lover? His brother smelled her and touched her, and Finn marveled that he hadn’t killed him long before this night, hadn’t killed him the moment he covered Disa’s hand in his the night of the feast. He had worried Disa wouldn’t be able to handle this, but it turned out he was the one with the problem.
They were close to the edge of the forest now and Finn crept forward, confident in his stealth. Almost there. Just a little closer. Rurik and Disa paused, gaping at each other. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, their voices too low, but something was happening. They were both eyeing each other with wary surprise, both of them quickly looking at a spot few feet from where Finn hid, and he clearly heard the word ‘brother.’ Suddenly, Disa leaned into Rurik and Finn thought he was going to be sick, embarrassed at the sudden weakness. His brother gathered her hand to his lips and kissed, and the two of them moved back towards the pack of men, their eyes never leaving each other.
For fuck’s sake, Disa.
A hundred possibilities ran through Finn’s mind, the most absurd of which being she’d somehow fallen for Rurik’s act once again, though in his heart, he knew it would be impossible, knew it was probably something annoyingly noble. The two of them were quickly thrust upon a horse, Disa’s arms wrapped around Rurik’s middle.
Finn would like to think he was acting out of necessity, that he feared for Disa’s safety, that no part of the plan could allow her out of his sight, but mostly he’d stomached another man’s hands on Disa about as much as he could. Time to murder.
Finn took two determined strides towards the path before he felt the sharp blow. He grunted and fell to his knees, the noise disguised by the shuffling hooves. He tried to turn on his attacker but instead was met with another harsh blow to the side of his head. And then another.
And then it was black.
Disa stumbled into the path, doing her best to look desperate and scared before setting her eyes upon the men galloping towards her. They pulled up sharply, the command to halt trailing down the line, and Disa cried out, hoping the noise sounded like relief instead of terror.
Rurik’s face turned white as a corpse, his eyes and mouth wide, his gaze flicking to the forest as if he expected some terrible beast to be trailing behind her.
He’s frightened. The revelation made the next part easier. Disa gave him a watery smile, allowing just enough whimper in her voice to hint at the awaiting onslaught of tears.
“Rurik! Rurik!” she shuddered. “Oh thank the Gods. I can’t believe this. I thought you were---I thought you were---” Disa threw her hands over her face and gave a good, loud sob, her eyes peeking through her fingers to make sure they were buying it.
Rurik glanced at Agnar who seemed wooden atop his animal as he offered no look in return. Rurik recovered quickly, easily falling into the habit of charm, his face contorting into a look Disa no longer found believable.
“Disa!” He leapt off his horse and ran towards her. She met him halfway, thro
wing her arms around his neck as he buried his face in her hair, repeating her name over and over. “I can’t believe this.” He pulled back, his hands running through her hair, and Disa forced her cheek to lean into his touch, swallowing the bile as it rose in her throat. “I thought you were dead,” he whispered.
“Me too,” she whimpered.
“I looked everywhere for you that night. Who brought you here, my brother?”
Disa gave him a puzzled look. “Finn? I haven’t seen him since the feast. I thought he was with you.”
Rurik blinked at her, surprised. This clearly wasn’t what he’d expected. “No,” he stammered. “No, he isn’t.”
Disa wailed again and laid her head on his chest, clutching at his shirt. “Then he’s died too! It’s been so horr--horr--horrible. The Gods have lead me to you, I know it.”
Rurik murmured in agreement, looking over his shoulder at their audience. “How did you get here, though?” he whispered.
“Aren’t you glad to see me?” Disa pouted, garnering more enjoyment than was proper as she forced him to play a role he clearly hadn’t practiced the last few weeks.
“Of course I am, of course I am!” He glanced behind once more and lowered his voice. “I’m just surprised.” Rurik lead her a little ways away and Disa wanted to laugh at how easy it was going to be to lure him those last few feet into the woods. “Surprised, but happy. Did...did your brother bring you?”
She hadn’t been expecting this. “What?” she asked, louder than she intentioned.
“Your brother, did he bring you?”
“My brother?”
“Mmm,” Rurik confirmed. His eyes flicking nervously between her and the brush. Almost as if…
“My brother?” she repeated stupidly. Why did he seem so nervous? Why did he keep looking behind her as if he expected...unless-- ”I thought he was dead.”
Blood and Loyalty: A Viking Blood Romance Novel Page 22