So Ever followed me in his Commodore
(oh my God, he has a HOT Commodore, a black, sleek, sparkling brand new HSV VR ClubSport, like seriously brand new and glittering),
back to mine, and, oh dear, I found it EXTREMELY HOT, being followed by him in his sexy car.
(Holden Commodores are just SO DAMN SEXY)
Once we were at my place, since I was so excited about having just purchased (loaned) my hotted up VN
(oh God, I love her spoiler and fins, I’M SO IN LOVE),
I offered to drive us into the city in my car.
“Since you’re not drinking, you might not tackle any cops tonight and get us arrested –”
“Ha ha, shut up you –”
I let it rip on the open road all of a sudden. Oh my God, I’m so in love with her. This is just FUN.
Me and my car are going to have so much fun together. That’s a love affair right there.
“Holy fuck, woman.” Evvy righted himself after I’d hooned around a corner. “AHHHH –”
He started screaming. I started laughing.
“Fuck, THIS IS FUN!!” I started yelling around corners, with the car’s beautiful, beautiful
(big manly BEAUTIFUL tyres)
screeching and holding SO WELL around corners. I barely have to even slow down.
(when I used to do that in the Civic, it’d slam into a wall sideways)
Ever hung on for dear life. “Oh JESUS – ” SCREECH!!! “You ARE GONNA GET US ARRESTED AGAIN, WOMAN!!!”
I laughed. I was seriously having SO MUCH FUN. I couldn’t control myself.
“Nat and Josie DO NOT drive like this – ” he yelped. “You’re so IRRESPONSIBLE!! So not like your sister!”
“Sorry for that. I can’t help it.”
Ever closed his eyes. “I was about to say I really dig it, but I’ve just changed my mind – ”
We made it to the city (alive), me screeching to a stop in that open air carpark in the empty lot near Mary St, and Evvy opened the car door and fell on his ass onto the ground.
Oh my GOD, how I laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed.
“Fucking hell, woman, I’ve fallen out the car, you drive so fucking mentally – ”
I got out the car, doubled over, and came round to him still on the ground. “Haha. HAHAHAHAHA! Let me, hahaha, help you up –”
“Holy crap, I am DRIVING US HOME LATER, WOMAN. Never again, NEVER AGAIN, am I getting into a car with you behind the wheel!”
“Oh stop your moaning and let’s go get drunk. Or, I can get drunk, since you’re suddenly driving.”
“You’re such an ODD female – ”
I’m getting a bit sick, actually, got a cough (after just returning to work), and Evvy and the boys were SO SWEET all night, taking care of me, hovering around me. They never once left my side. If one group of them left, there was always another bunch of them by my side.
They’re really a bunch of sweet guys, for all their carry on. Ben, the total sleaze who gets with three girls every time they go out
(Nat tells me all the goss – I’ve laid in bed for six months, listening to all their stories, wishing desperately to be able to have that kind of fun),
would not leave my side for a second last night. He kept trying to pull me away from Evvy all night.
And Ever said, “Stop trying to steal my woman! Although, after her behavior, I’m not sure I’m up to handling
her –” and I whacked him.
“How weird is it? It’s like being out with Nat’s twin!”
“Except she’s not swearing at us like Nat does – ”
“Or hitting us – ”
“And Nat never wears pink – ”
They made such a fuss over me. Felt so good!!
Eventually it was time to head home, and Ever led me back to my beloved VN
(will never get sick of saying VN),
and looked so damn sexy behind the wheel of my new baby.
For all of his screaming earlier, he really let it rip at one stage, coming out of the city. “Now this is how you drive,
woman – ”
His driving impressed me. He’s like a V8 supercar driver.
(that’s so hot!)
When we got back here, Ever came upstairs with me. He stepped into my unit, took one look around, and went, “Oh dear GOD, this is scary. I feel like I just stepped into a serial killer’s lair.”
“Oh, stop it. It’s just a bit of pink.”
“A BIT of pink? No no, this is like a flamingo exploded in here – ”
Ever stood around for ages, staring at everything, poking at everything, reading all my quotes on the walls –
“And I knew, love would tear you apart” (Malibu, Hole…possibly stolen from Kurt Cobain after she killed him, but no matter, I love her) and “I feel so far from where I’ve been” (You Were Meant For Me, Jewel), and (my favourite) “This isn’t some funk I’m in…this is my personality” (‘Dawson’s Creek’).
“Is this from what you’ve gone through?” he asked me, pointing to the quotes framed on my walls.
I glanced up at them, suddenly feeling a bit sad. “Yeah…”
Ever gave me this look, I can’t describe it. Like he got it, he appreciated it, even. “They told me, you know. Nat and Dan. All about Nat’s ‘wild’” – he used finger quotes – “sister, all the crazy things she does, all the pink. The trouble you get into. The bad boyfriends.” He turned to face me. “But they didn’t do you justice. There’s a weird like DEPTH to you. And innocence. Under all this serial killer pink – ”
And then he reached for me, ran a hand down my face and kissed me.
It suddenly wasn’t so funny between us anymore.
It was romantic.
Monday 22 May 2000
9.02pm
Evvy was just here.
!!!!
And just like that, it seems like I’m dating again.
Yesterday the whole Scooby Gang (Nat and Dan, Mark and Josie, Tom, Ever, Ben, Hoffy, Gibbo) had a BBQ at Josie’s and Evvy rang to invite me, but I was feeling very sick (ie. drank enough the night before for ten people) and declined. Tonight he sat (on my pink couch) and said, “I can’t believe how freakishly ALIKE you and Nat are – ”
“That’s not what you were saying the other night!”
“Well, yes, not personality wise, but in your mannerisms and looks and even your VOICES. It’s freaky! I was sitting beside your sister yesterday – actually, she rang YOU, she was talking to you – and I did like a double take. I was thinking I was sitting next to Karina!”
He went on and on about it, like Nat and I are such fascinating creatures.
(well, we kinda are)
“You actually don’t particularly LOOK alike, but there is something WEIRDLY IDENTICAL about yous…”
I’m glad he thought about me all yesterday.
“Seriously, did you come over to talk about my sister and I all night or what – ”
“I’m sorry! It’s just that Nat has been one of my closest friends for years, and it’s like suddenly she just pulled out this twin! One that I got arrested with and I had this wicked night of sex with Saturday night!”
(sorry Diary, for not going into details)
“It’s just a bit of excitement for my boring life, that’s all, and a bit of a shock, that I’m so into Nat’s sister – ”
And then he carried me to bed and did a bit more of what he did in the early hours of Sunday morning.
My heart hasn’t fallen (yet), but it certainly tugged at his body. He has massive scars all over his back and down one leg, raised and very painful looking. He told me all about it as he held me in his arms – he was hit by a car at 7, and had heaps of surgeries, skin grafts, etc.
That breaks my heart. How did his single mother cope?? Her child having to go through all that? How did Ever cope??
No wonder he seems to understand me already.
He’s as broken as I am. I think he just hides it bette
r.
Wednesday 24 May 2000
6.45pm
Just rang Dad, and he refused to speak to me. This is the shit I have to put up with from my family.
He never treats Nat like this, though. That’s what really hurts. He wouldn’t dream of treating her how he treats me.
I’m loved less, or not properly, by my own father. While Nat is cherished by him.
No wonder I don’t know my own worth, and pick assholes who don’t know it either, when I have a family that doesn’t even really love me or see who I really am.
I think I need therapy. Other than pink champagne and a Holden Commodore.
Thursday 25 May 2000
6.31pm
The ENTIRE company left today for the annual conference, in Bali. Everybody. Like everybody left, except for two new warehouse guys I don’t know, and a couple of the casual night warehouse staff that normally work 5 till 9pm…
(and Matt Johnson. He didn’t go on the conference, he stayed. I feel some kind of weird significance at this. When I asked him later why he didn’t go, he gave me that look he seems to give only me, and said, “I see enough of this lot working with them. I don’t need to go away with them.’)
(hot. I don’t know why that was hot, but it was)
(finding everything Matt does hot actually, since being back at work)
Everyone else though! All of them left me on my own to run the office.
Bastards.
Everyone was so damn excited when I walked into the office this morning, suitcases everywhere, Daryl Agnew asking Sherrie, “Now ARE YOU SURE all my drag clothes are packed? I can’t leave the country without all my wigs - ”
and me near tears, thinking I’m gonna miss Daryl’s big drag queen performance again, and I haven’t got to go to a conference yet, cause I fell down the stairs at work and broke my ass (literally) my third month there.
I’ve already missed so much, off with my back, then off having surgery, and recovery (and the assault), now they’re all bloody leaving me to go overseas WITHOUT ME.
Benny and Lachie were especially painful, telling me not to stuff up any orders and make sure I take any messages for them correctly and watch their cars for them and make sure I think of them having fun in a foreign country while I work ALONE in the office.
Oh I hate them all.
As they left, John Cash was all, “Thanks for holding down the fort, Pinky!”
And Daryl Young (DY) was all, “Don’t drink all the alcohol, Pinky!”
(ooh, there’s alcohol??)
I stuck my finger up at them.
(the only workplace in the world you can do that to your bosses)
Nat and I were seriously crying as we hugged goodbye. “Awww, sisters – ”
“I’m not sure these two have ever been apart – ”
Sherrie was a bit teary, too. After being so close through my six months off, she’s been really distant since I’ve been back at work. But she cried at least, saying goodbye to me.
And then all of them were gone, leaving me in the office ALL ON MY OWN.
(again)
Sunday 28 May 2000
2.42pm
Oh my God, what a night.
Evvy and I didn’t get arrested, but we had a threesome instead.
(not technically. Just three in a bed)
Oh, and we lost Dan. I’m sure he’ll turn up before Nat gets back, but he’s still not answering his phone and Dad said he wasn’t at home (where his daughter’s boyfriend normally is).
(amazed Dad even spoke to me)
So Anabeth came over here yesterday arvo, and we drank pink champagne and got ready together.
Is SO FUN, this getting ready with girls business!!
We cabbed it into the city, and met Evvy, Dan, Tom, Mark and Josie, the rest of the Scooby Gang in there.
We stayed upstairs at Mary St, playing pool for most of the night, but something felt a bit off with Ever and I. I felt he was all over Josie, and I was a bit annoyed by that, and HEAPS of guys kept coming up to me, and Ever seemed put out by that.
“If ONE MORE GUY comes up to you, I am going to LOSE IT –’’ he finally declared.
“Maybe you need to act more loving towards her then,” Beth said pointedly.
Oh, she hates Ever!! Like WITH A PASSION. She says he’s not right for me, and too immature and wrapped up in himself.
(but aren’t they all??)
Since I’ve known Beth since high school, she’s been through it all with me. “There’s been a lot of frogs,” as she likes to say, in reference to my (disastrous) love life.
So Ever hops in the cab (like a BOYFRIEND, which just freaks me out) with Anabeth and I, and, seriously, the two of them just yelled at each other all night.
In the cab. In bed. All night.
It began in the cab.
“You know there’s only one bed,” Beth said to Ever.
“Well I guess you’ll be sleeping on the floor then,” Ever retorted.
“FUCK OFF I am – ”
“I guess you better FUCK OFF THEN – ”
Oh my God, it was painful.
It continued all the way home, up the stairs
(Beth even tried to push Ever down the stairs, which he found absolutely hysterical, and started screaming – at fucking two in the morning – “GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT, LESBO!!!”), and into bed.
I got stuck with both of them on either side of me.
Evvy was on his back, arms behind his head, me curled up to him, resting my head on his arm, and Beth was laying on her back, too.
The argument turned to me before long. “YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT KARINA!!” Beth screamed.
“HOW CAN YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE AFTER A COUPLA WEEKS!!” Ever screamed back.
I was surprisingly hurt by this. “Of course you can care about someone after a few weeks!!” I joined in.
“Oh so you care about me already? After this short a time?”
I shut my mouth.
Ever laughed. “Doesn’t matter, cause I already know the answer to that question.”
“How?? I haven’t told you SHIT!!”
“You don’t need to use words, Karina. It comes off you in pretty pink waves OOMPF! FUCK!! That hurt!”
“Sorry. My fist slipped - ”
(Beth cacked herself)
“It’s just the type of person you are, woman. All rainbows and love bubbles – ”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A LOVE BUBBLE!!!” (Beth)
“ – and pink unicorns that frolic, and all fragile like – ”
“I’M NOT FUCKING FRAGILE!!!”
(and then I burst into tears)
“EVVY, YOU’RE SUCH A PRICK – ”
and he leaned in and kissed me.
I smacked him away. “Only guys who care about me are allowed to do that!”
“Oh sorry, I’ll stop then – ”
(he seriously LOVED us screaming at him and hitting him. He was in his element)
Then I could feel my(drunk)self passing out, but before I did, I could feel Ever watching me. Then he leant in and trailed his fingers down my cheek, jaw and lips.
You just DON’T DO THAT SHIT, if you don’t care about someone!!
4.56pm
Dan rang. He’s alive. Thank God, cause I really was dreading telling my sister I lost her boyfriend last night and no one knows where he is.
6.17pm
So this morning, Evvy offered to drive me to my aunt’s, cause he swore I was way too drunk still to drive.
“It’ll take me two seconds, and your aunt can bring you home.”
I found this surprising behavior by him, cause for years Nat has told me Ever refuses to drive his car anywhere for fear of scratches, wasting petrol, wasting money ON petrol, etc..
But he was doing it for me!!!
Beth left early, telling Ever to “Shut your stupid fucking ugly face!” to which Ever replied, “Nice to meet you too, Lesbo!!”, then Ever and I jumped in his car.
The world was seriou
sly spinning for me. Ever glanced over at me and shook his head. “You seriously drank the whole bar last night, woman. Never seen a girl drink like that before – ”
“It’s really not feeling like an achievement right now – ”
“I wasn’t saying it like it was an achievement. Was stupid, really – ”
“Oh thank you!!”
He was all boyfriend-like and stern this morning. Was super hot. And being driven somewhere by a guy…I love that. I don’t know why. Makes me feel cared for.
And it’s happened so rarely in my lifetime.
“Let’s get the little rager some food, hey? Make you feel better.”
And he pulled into McDonalds off the motorway, and ordered us a breakfast meal each. I handed him a ten dollar note. Didn’t want to take his generosity too far. He’s the type of guy who goes home and rocks in the corner, going, “Why did I spend my ten dollars on that girl? Why?? Why??? I only have five hundred million left now. Wish I hadn’t spent that ten dollars.”
He parked in the carpark and we ate together in companionable silence.
It was nice. Cozy. I actually really, really like him. As a person and friend. Not sure about anything else.
He’s a lot of fun. But then I also like this serious side of him.
We took off again, and I REALLY started to feel sick. “Oh God – ” I murmured.
You should’ve seen the look on Evvy’s face (fucking funny). “OH DEAR GOD NO!!” he started shouting.
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