Then John Cash yelled out from his office, “Julia, I don’t know what you’re doing to that banana, but I’m pretty sure it could be construed as harassment. Banana might sue.”
And Julia then started choking on the banana she’d just bitten off, and oh my God, was the fucking funniest thing ever. I was on the floor in fits. While Julia choked and laughed and gestured for someone to give her the Heimlich manouever.
(nobody did. We all just laughed ourselves stupid)
Then Richard came into work at 5.30pm, looking (and smelling) so frickin’ spiffy and freshly showered, his hair slicked back, and sporting his muscles and tatts.
Rich arrived to me, Melissa, Joy and Benny drinking upstairs in the office, me still at my desk.
Angela Jones arrived then to hand me her salon orders, that I quickly typed in, as Lachie came upstairs. Him and Angela are close, you can tell Lach is the only warehouse person Angela considers ‘her own’…and there’s been talk Lach has been pressuring John Cash to make him a rep, instead of Warehouse Manager.
Lach would ROCK as a rep…he’s so cool, and surfy and hot and fun! His head is already big enough though…I can imagine what becoming Rocking Shampoo Rep would do to him.
(he’d become Daryl Agnew)
Melissa and I were (drunk!) giggling madly by this stage, and we soon piled into Joy’s car, while Angela grabbed me as I was trying to get into the backseat with Benny and Rich, and asked me, “Who’s the hot biker guy, Pinky??” while Lachlan leaned over her shoulder, with THE funniest expression on his face.
Lach has this way of pulling faces, that is so damn comical. He can just pull a face or a look and crack me up with it.
He was doing it then, over Angela’s shoulder. “Yeah, Pinky, who is he??”
“He’s just my best mate, you two!!” I replied, giving Angela a kiss on her check then leaning over and trying to exaggerate a kiss to Lach but he leaped away, squealing.
I looked back out the window as we drove off, and Angela and Lach were doing their usual flirt/respect each other/deep inspirational talk with lots of laughs thrown in.
I grinned as they got smaller. I love when I really know people, and can spot the connections between people – like the genuine love between Lachie and Ange. It makes me all warm and fuzzy when I can spot these connections with people. And when these people act the same way all the time, it’s comforting to me.
I adore Angela and Lach. I love their special friendship. I love watching them together.
Into the city we went, where Ryan, Paul and his girlfriend, Little Jon and Lachie and Melinda (eventually) met us in there.
We had the BEST TIME.
Benny and I laughed together and mucked around all night, and he was the one who (as USE-YOU-ALL) picked me up off the floor when I kept falling over drunk.
He was the one holding me up by the end of the night too.
Benny’s so sweet. He’s like this big, giant protector. He’s a bit dreamy, old Benny, with his romance hero height and protective nature.
And I had Rich to cuddle with, too!! He seemed to have fun. He dropped his pants in Mary St, which is his signature move on drunken nights out. Oh my God, how we laughed.
I love happy, fun nights out!!
I had to get up early and drive Rich home this morning, then be at hairdressers at 8.30am.
Rich was SO ILL on the drive home, and I felt drunk still, and kept being off with the (intoxicated) fairies and missing turns and exits.
Rich was all, “Ugh, I’m GONNA BE SICK – ” and me going round and round a roundabout, missing the exit each time, and Rich hollering, “THIS ISN’T FUCKING HELPING!!!” and me laughing hysterically as I missed the exit AGAIN, and spluttering, “Oh, PAYBACK’S A BITCH for me if you hurl in my car!!” and right as I said that and took the exit and stopped going round and round, Rich hurled out my window then started laughing madly as we watched his vomit streak all down the window he’d barely managed to wind down.
I couldn’t stop laughing. “If I could find a way to make Dan clean that up, I would!!!”
I’m sure I was a fire hazard at the hairdressers. All that booze seeping out my skin plus all the chemicals in my hair.
Nobody light a match near me.
Then I went straight to Joy’s for another aromatherapy party. Two of Joy’s friends were there with their babies, and Joy’s kids, Pheebs, Nigel and Issac. Had such a lovely afternoon. I love Joy, she’s so bright and bubbly and loving and kind. Not to mention fun!!! We were talking about what a great night last night was.
Her home is like an orange and pink Indian sari. So tranquil and calming, depite the bright colours. A real sanctuary.
I love being there.
7.21pm
Evvy called. Asked me to go to Josie’s with him.
Unbelievable!!!
I wish I could, but I literally can’t move after going out last night and all day today.
Think I’m still drunk, too.
Plus tomorrow is the Wet and Wild Day with work. I’ve got to rest.
Monday 6 November 2000
7.43pm
I think yesterday may have been THE BEST DAY of my life.
The Wet and Wild Day was awesome!!!
Me and Benny, Nat and Dan, and Lachie and Melinda went on everything together, and stuck together like glue.
Being in a group with these people really is FUN!!!
Mammoth Falls was the MOST FUN EVER, all of us in this giant round raft, and Lachie and Benny acted like ten year old boys who know all the daredevil tricks, and scared the bejesus out of us all.
I think Dan was even scared. Which is saying something.
Melinda just kept screaming/laughing, an ear-piercing combination of both, while Lachie and Benny knew the exact spots to pull moves that made our raft LITERALLY go up the slide’s walls and we were airborne!! Past the slide’s fucking walls!!
I thought we were gonna die.
We were SO HIGH UP.
I eventually grabbed Benny, like he was my boyfriend or my responsibility
(in our pairing off of the day, he kinda was!),
and screamed, “If you do that ONE MORE TIME, BENNY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!”
Lachie laughed EVILLY and Benny suddenly pushed all his weight down the front of the raft so we hit the water HARD at the bottom of one of the slide’s caverns, and an ocean full of water hit me
(and only me)
full in the face.
I practically drowned while everyone laughed and Melinda kept screaming.
“I’m sorry, Pinky,” Benny laughed, grabbing me and plucking me out of the bottom of the boat, where I was drowning in two feet of water. “Here, sit in my lap and I won’t do it anymore.”
“Like that’s a punishment for you!” I spluttered, trying to get the water out of my lungs.
“It is,” Benny laughed, his arms wrapping around me and holding me against him. “It’s AWFUL. Make it stop!”
Lachie laughed till he cried. Melinda kept screaming.
I must admit, it was HOT sitting in Benny’s lap and his arms around me the rest of the ride.
Too hot for me to even go into in great detail. I’m like fanning myself right now.
(oh dear oh dear, SUPER HOT)
Melinda and I went on the two person tube ride together, and she laughed and screamed
(at the same time, her special trick)
so loud in my ear the whole way, which just made me laugh till I couldn’t breathe.
We all settled in the wave pool at the end of the day, which was so frickin’ fun for something so simple – just a huge body of water that constantly produces rolling waves.
The funniest thing – trying to get on the tubes. So unexpectedly complicated in the moving water. Took us all like half an hour to get on them. Then Lachie, who hadn’t gotten on a tube yet, kept swimming around us like a cheeky shark, waiting till we’d finally climbed on, then tipping us off. So it’d take us another half hour to get back on ou
r tubes.
Then Lachie couldn’t get on his own tube – now THAT was funny. He kept making that painful slipping sound as his skin dragged over the tube as he kept sliding back into the water.
“Karma’s a bitch!!!” I laughed, from my lovely spot bopping away on my tube.
I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in ages.
Paul and his girlfriend and Ryan and his girlfriend joined us in the wave pool, and somehow the discussion turned to me finding a boyfriend.
(everyone always takes such an interest in my love life. I have no idea why!! It’s not that interesting)
“I know who your next boyfriend is,” Paul declared, floating past me.
“Benny!” Lachlan and Paul both said at the same time.
“Aw, you’ll make me blush!!” Benny yelled as he floated away.
“You were SO all over him Friday night,” Melinda added.
I was?? But Benny’s always my protector and the one that holds me up on nights out though. Did it mean something more??
He’s so tall, too. Hot!!! Sweet. He’s as Commodore mad as I am. A Pisces like me. We have such fun together. We’re always laughing together. Did I mention how tall he is???? I have such a weakness for tall guys.
I have a bit of a weakness for Benny, too.
But I hate the pot lifestyle, after Rick, have nightmares about it, in fact.
(whoever said potheads are all gentle and kind are LIARS)
I want a guy NOT on drugs. For once.
If it weren’t for that…hmmm. Benny could very well be perfect.
He grabbed my tube at that moment, and I glanced over at him, watching him. Searching for something, EXPECTING what?? Romance?? A love declaration?
Then I saw the laughing glint to his eye. “Benny – ” I warned.
He flipped my tube in one easy move. “Love ya, Pinky.”
So at 4pm Dan, The Big Party Pooper, decided he wanted to leave, so I left with them
(since they were my ride),
but I was loathe to get out of that wave pool. I was having so much fun.
We got home about 5pm, and Lachie, Melinda and I had arranged to go to the movies, so I drove to their house at Coorparoo and we went in Lach’s car to Balmoral, and saw the 7pm session of ‘What Lies Beneath.’
Fucking terrifying.
At one stage, Melinda and I both screamed
(as did half the audience),
and we kept huddling up to each other.
Poor Lach had to fend for himself.
Rich sent me flowers at work today.
(I rang him, laughing, and asked, “Is this for throwing up in my car??” and he said, “No, this is cause I love you.” AWWWWWW)
I just about died, and it caused a major flurry in the office.
(and even trickled downstairs)
22 (my lucky number – Rich does know me very well) beautiful pink roses, carnations and gerberas. All the wrappings and ribbons were pink, the plant box it was in Barbie pink.
God, they’re gorgeous.
“Least we know who these are for!” Daryl Agnew chortled at the sight of them, as Evie, beaming, walked them across the office from her reception area.
Everyone dropped what they were doing or paused mid-phone conversation. There were gasps, and murmurings, and Joy exclaimed, “My God, THEY’RE GORGEOUS.”
“Pinky has an admirer!” Evie laughed. Everyone looked so happy.
Was the pink well really this dry?? Everyone was so ridiculously excited.
“Please don’t tell me they’re from anyone in the warehouse,” Daryl Agnew declared dramatically, hand over his heart.
“What’s wrong with the warehouse boys, YOU SNOB??” DY yelled from his glass office.
“They’re not good enough for my Pinkster, that’s what!!” Dag yelled back. “Only a Prince will do for my Pinky!!”
(aw. I love Dag)
Five minutes later, as the gossip trickled downstairs
(like some airborne virus),
there was a parade of warehouse boys coming up.
First was Matt.
(significant?? Him being the first up??)
He did not look impressed. But he wandered back off without a word, giving me wounded puppy dog eyes first.
Next up was Benny, who sat right down on my table where he always sits, me grabbing my invoices out from under his ass, since he always just sits right down on them. “Ugh! Do you MIND, Benny!”
“I mind greatly,” he replied, intent on reading the card he’d just plucked from the flowers. “Hmm.” He shot me a look. “Did you have to put out for these, Pinky? OOOF!” He laughed madly, as I’d punched him right in the gut.
(no, the one I’m putting out with would never send me flowers)
“Just checking!!!” Then he wandered back off, clutching his stomach.
Next was Lachie, who leaned over me to pluck the card.
(is nothing sacred or private in this work place??)
“IN-TER-REST-TING,” he smiled, pulling a Seinfeld face. “I KNEW IT!”
Knew what? But anyway.
Paul, Little Jon, even the new guy, Alan, all had a squiz. Ryan was the only polite one who didn’t.
Faye was the last. She came powering in through the kitchen/warehouse door, can of Diet Coke clutched in one hand, grinning. “The boys told me you got a HUGE thing of flowers, Pinky. I just HAD to see. My GOD, they’re STUNNING – ” She laughed, nudging me. “I better tell Nick to pick up his game, hey!!”
Oh please don’t tell your son!
I’ve got enough boys to deal with.
Chapter 16
YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART
Tuesday 7 November 2000
10.29pm
Ever rang me at work, and pretended to be Dan.
“Kerry, put your sister on – ”
“Dan?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Put the old ball and chain on – ”
I cracked up laughing, and so did Evvy. “I know it’s you!”
We laughed and teased some more, then he asked, “Are you coming round tomorrow night?” He sounded really eager and excited.
“Of course. It’s your birthday,” I replied, like we were a real couple and I’d never miss my boyfriend’s birthday in a million years.
(what a farce. We’re both faking this couple act)
We aren’t real. We aren’t true. And I blame him!
I have this impending doom feeling, like it’s all coming to a breaking point.
Thursday 9 November 2000
6.44am
I just got home from Evvy’s, and for the first time in awhile, I had a great time there.
Fuck I love him so much!! And I don’t want to!! He can be such a complete shit.
So when I arrived at his, I did my usual dump my bag on the floor by his door, and jumped into bed with him. I was holding the watch box behind my back.
“Happy Birthday, Everard,” I said, kissing him. He jumped out of bed in excitement, standing up, bouncing around, this look on his face I’ve never seen before. It was like awe and surprise and wonder and…love.
“I can’t believe you’ve done this, bought me an expensive present…” He trailed off, staring at the box in his hand. “You’re so fucking SWEET, woman. Almost too fucking sweet – ”
“Shut up and open your present, Everard!!!”
He opened the box, grinning…and paused, the smile dropping.
He looked CONCERNED.
(fucking funny!!!! Oh so funny!!)
Inside the Jag box, I’d placed a ten dollar pink Barbie watch.
I held up my wrist, displaying my Barbie watch I’m always wearing. “See, now we can be matching!”
I’m amazed I even got that sentence out before laughing.
The look on his face HAHAHAHAHA…PRICELESS.
Ever looked seriously worried, like I’d lost my pink marbles and he had to tread carefully around the crazy person.
I lost it, I seriously laughed till I cried, and stumbled
to my bag and pulled out the real present. “Here’s the….ahahahahahahaha…real present!!”
Evvy started pissing himself, too. “I can’t believe you got me! I can’t believe you fucking got me then – ”
“Always one step ahead of you, Everard!” I spluttered.
“Fuck yeah. I HATE that you are – “
I laughed harder.
“You’re always FUCKING SURPRISING ME, ooh I HATE THAT – ”
I grabbed him and kissed him as we both still laughed. “Happy birthday, Ever.”
He kissed me back, HARD, then finally looked at his present clutched in his hand.
Oh, God, the look on his face. I’ll always remember it.
His face was just ALIGHT. I loved it. I adored it. I want to always see him looking like that.
I’d had his watch engraved too…just ‘To Evvy, Happy 21st,’ and I’d left my name off.
I was already anticipating we would break up, and I wanted him to still wear his watch without having to see my name on it each day.
“I can’t believe you did this,” he said softly, reading the back. “I can’t believe you would spend so much money on me – ”
“It’s your twenty-first, Ever,” I replied softly.
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