Oh God. It’s like everything I’ve always wanted. HE’S everything I’ve always wanted. He does and says and IS everything I’ve always wanted in a guy.
Ugh. I don’t know what to do!! I’m scared for myself. I’m falling too quickly, too hard, and yet I’m still too desperate to reach out to Ever and just hold on for dear life.
(fuck Ever. Fuck him for not holding onto me)
Oh God, Matt was so sweet when we got back to his place, too. Jocelyn had set up the sofa bed in the downstairs den for me, and Matt made sure I was in bed, and turned the light off.
I so wanted him to join me in bed, but knew I wasn’t ready, either.
Five o’clock in the morning
(I repeat, FIVE),
Matt attempted to wake me.
Whose idea it was to get up THAT early, I don’t know
(but I’d like to kill them),
but I was exhausted. After two days of working 11 hour days, then very little sleep the night before, PLUS a killer hangover…well, I was a little difficult to wake up.
At one stage, as Matt tried to wake me, he leaned right over me, and whispered, “Christ, you smell good. Like strawberries.”
Talk about a wake up call.
“Your smell drives me crazy,” he near growled, trailing a finger down my face.
(shivers)
I figured he deserved me to finally open my eyes, but all I could manage was a groan.
“Karina?”
“Hmm?”
“I’d love to join you in this bed, and hear you groan some more.”
I groaned again, involuntarily, out of instant arousal.
“Karina?”
“Yeah?”
“Get up!!”
“Oh please don’t make me!!!!”
Matt laughed, grabbing me. “You’re so…SWEET.”
Eventually, I stumbled out of bed, got ready, had breakfast with his family. “You look a bit tired, Karina,” Matt’s mum observed.
“Too many eleven hour days at work,” I managed to get out.
“And getting pissed last night,” Matt laughed.
(we all laughed. My poor head)
Lachie and Melinda arrived, and Matt and Lach spent an hour attaching Matt’s boat
(he has a boat at 21?? I’m swooning. More so.)
to Lach’s Mustard Bird.
(my new name for Lach’s Commodore)
I drove Melin and I down, and sped off from the boys as soon as possible, just cause I found it funny…
Then we ended up at the wrong boat ramp down at the Spit, but Melin and I got out and perved on all the near-naked hotties loading boats into the water for awhile.
Eventually we found the correct boat ramp, and the boys. I took photos of Lach reversing the boat in, and him and Matt making it look like this extremely complicated thing.
Matt navigated us out to South Straddie, which felt AMAZING!! The beautiful blue sky, the sunshine, the day was just perfect…was heavenly.
I love being out on the water ABOVE ALL ELSE.
My health, funnily enough, is always much approved around water.
The water was VERY ROUGH, or perhaps Matt is just a crazy assed boat driver, but we were airborne quite a few times.
(WHICH WAS SO FUN!!)
Melinda did her usual ear-piercing combination of laugh/scream, which cracks me up so much.
Then Matt just suddenly stops, and anchors, in the middle of the fucking ocean. Apparently, we were to paddle across this ‘bar’
(I see no drinks, so disappointing term)
of water, to surf closer to Straddie.
“Is that…a SHARK??” I asked, watching as a boat near us pulled in a giant shark.
Lachie laughed. “Sure is.”
“There’s sharks here!” I near screamed. Melinda looked worried.
“It’s an ocean, Karina,” Matt laughed. “There’s sharks everywhere.”
That really helps, thank you!
“Sharks love surfers, too,” Lach added. Evilly.
(he’s so evil. Like Seinfeld evil)
“We look like big seals to them.” He clapped his hands like a seal and made seal noises, then fell about laughing his head off.
I cursed for a bit, but jumped overboard, and climbed on my board.
We had to paddle all the way across. It took two fucking hours!!
(Barbie is waterproof)
I was feeling it in my arms! But I’m an expert paddler now. Can paddle myself out of anything.
(that’s about all I can do though)
So we arrive at the ‘barrels,’ and it was seriously above my retarded surfing level. Only hardcore surfers were out there, and one almost surfed straight over my face, then screamed abuse at me.
“I’M SO-REEEE!” I screamed back at him. “I’m sorry you’re such an asshole!!!”
I gave up after that. Paddled the two hours back to Matt, with Melinda faithfully by my side.
(Lachie was in his mad surfer element)
I was so fatigued by the time we got back to the boat, I had trouble climbing back in.
“Here, let me get in first, then pull you up,” Melinda declared. Matt was fishing up the other end of the boat, and took his sweet time coming to help the pink seal get back in.
First I tried to just haul myself into the boat by my arms, but was too fatigued, and kept falling back into the water. Then Melin climbed in and leaned over to try to pull me up, but I still had no strength.
Then I tried to stand on the board and jump across to the boat, but fell multiple times.
Finally, Matt, laughing, saw my struggle and put down his reel (hmmm), and joined Melinda in pulling me out of the water.
My surfboard was still attached to my ankle, but I was so puffed I laid on the deck of the boat, my leg trailing into the water, surfboard floating happily in the ocean.
“Damn, that’s sexy,” Matt announced, standing over me.
The funniest thing is, he meant it!!
Lachie eventually arrived back at the boat, looking like some surf god, and Matt motored us to this tiny, secluded, uninhabited island that Matt said is called Wave Break Island. It was beautiful, and all for us!!!!
(Dad always calls me Gilligan. Now I actually really felt like Gilligan)
We all jumped in the water this time, and swam to shore, and mucked around on the island. Was seriously the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. Like our own deserted island.
“This is the life!!” I declared. “Let’s get shipwrecked here.”
Melinda and I buried Lachie up to his head, which was so fucking funny and satisfying for some reason. I think cause Lach has such an evil, cheeky side, it’s just so damn satisfying to get one over on him for once.
Was like something out of a movie – the boys
(once Lach dug his way out – Melin and I refused to help him, we just fell about laughing madly at him trying to escape)
chasing Melin and I up the beach, all of us frolicking in the water, tumbling with each other.
I think it was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.
I didn’t know days like this existed! I didn’t know friends like this existed! I didn’t know guys like Matt existed!
I’m so happy.
Eventually, we headed back, and ended up next to the Versace Hotel, eating fish and chips.
As I had to leave, Lachie got it into his head he wanted to do burnouts with my hire car.
“Okay!” I replied, excited. “And I’ll take photos!!” I rummaged in my bag to get my always present camera out.
They all cracked up laughing.
“You’re such a bad influence, Karina!” Melinda laughed.
“You are,” Lachlan said, laughing so hard. “First the Flaming Sambucca. Now, I ask you to do burnouts, AND MOST GIRLS WOULD SAY NO. You’re all, ‘yeah!! And I’ll take photos!’”
I got some great pics of Lach doing some amazing burnouts. He is the best driver!!
I’d arranged to stay with Joy an
d Pheebs at John Cash’s apartment at Currumbin, so I had to leave them all.
(and really didn’t want to. Especially Matt)
I hugged Lach and Melin goodbye, them still laughing
(they’re always laughing, I love those two),
then did the same to Matt. He seemed a bit awkward and upset.
I kind of felt upset, too. I didn’t want our day together to end. I had been with him since the day before…I just wanted to permanently stay with him. Such an odd feeling for me to have.
I’ve never had that feeling before.
Hmm.
I continued on to Currumbin in the GORGEOUS Gold Coast sun, arriving at John Cash’s unit
(slash half a mansion)
at 3.30pm.
Daryl and Colleen Young, Jessica Jenkins, Joy and her kids and one of Issac’s friends were all there, on the balcony overlooking the water.
Joy laughingly introduced Isaac’s friend as Issack, with a K, and told me not only do they have the same name, but they were born together, on the same day, in the same hospital, and have been best friends ever since.
I love stories like that.
“Pinky!” DY yelled, as I arrived in my bikini and board shorts. I hugged them all, secretly delighted to see Jessica Jenkins, as I love her and want to BE her one day.
Pheebs demanded I rescue her from family torture
(funny how Phoebe’s family is her duty or bore, whereas her family – John Cash, his bestie DY, their family, the shampoo reps – are all my idols and who I wish to be)
and take her shopping, so I did, driving to some Pine Something mall in Pine Something suburb with instructions on how to get there by Jess, which were extremely complicated and well-written
(meaning elaborate and confusing)
for a shampoo rep.
I got us so lost, much to Phoebe’s hysterics.
The shops were practically closing by the time we arrived.
And all Pheebs wanted was a Lipsmackers lip balm after all that.
(ugh. 14 year old girls. They’re kind of exhausting)
To cut a very long story short
(cause this is taking me forever to write),
when we returned, the DY’s and Jess were gone and it was just Joy and the boys.
We swam in the pool till dark, then sat around drinking and talking.
Then the boys were heading out to go clubbing, and they asked me to come. But I was there to see Joy and Pheebs, so I was all, “No, no. You guys go. You don’t need me there.”
But Joy
(of course!! The mad woman)
thought it was a great idea, and practically pushed me out the door with them.
Winking at me as she went!!
So the boys took me CAGE DANCING at The Drink.
Seriously!! Cage dancing!!
I must admit, I’ve never felt as cool as I did in that moment – both Isaac/ks over six feet tall, muscles bulging, skin brown and glistening, Isaac already a model traveling the world, dancing with me.
I think that was my one cool moment in life. Up high, in that club, cage dancing with these two guys.
The non-Joy related Isaack, at one stage in The Drink
(across the road from Cocktails and Dreams in Surfers…I felt a huge pang for Evvy as I spotted the lights of Cocktails from across the street),
we were standing in this darkened hallway, and he leaned his palms on either side of the wall above my head, leaning in and dwarfing me…just to whisper something I couldn’t even make out anyway in my ear!
I THINK he was cracking onto me.
Sometimes I wonder if just any guy will do. I will just react to any guy that pays me the slightest bit of attention.
I’m boy crazy!!!
I had to mentally remind myself of Matt, OH CRAP!!! and Ever, in that moment.
(remember when I was all alone in bed, for like a year?? With no one in my life?? No, neither do I)
The boys looked after me all night, didn’t let me out of their sight, Issack especially kept his eye trained on me all night. Any guy that came up to me, he stood there, watching, threatening just by standing there and staring, scaring all the boys off each time.
(was hot!!)
Eventually we returned to the penthouse, and stayed up with Joy and Pheebs till four in the morning.
Joy’s a cool parent. She really is. She enjoys her kids and their company, just hangs out with them.
I really admire everything about Joy. Others may condemn her for her ‘failings,’ but I think she’s one of the few in life who have got it right!
Sunday morning I was awakened by Pheebs, and all of us went to the beach, then the pool. Then just us girls went for milkshakes and shopping at The Oasis at Broadbeach.
Another swim.
Then goodbyes from me.
Four o’clock I stumbled in the door, to find my bed rumpled, and I just knew: Ever had been sleeping in my bed.
That breaks my heart.
I grilled Dan
(habitually playing Playstation - he greeted me as I walked in the door with my pink fairy suitcase, “Oh, Kerry! I’d forgotten you live here, you’ve been gone so long!”)
about my bed and who’d been sleeping in it
(was more like, “Dan!! Who the FUCK’S been in my bed??”)
and he replied Evvy, cause they’d gone clubbing.
At first I was annoyed. Now I’m just sad about it. Picturing Ever crashing in my bed, cause he misses me.
There’s a spare bedroom with a queen sized bed in it, plus the two couches in the lounge that turn into double futons…he had plenty of spots to sleep!
Makes my heart hurt he wanted to be in my bed. Like he wanted to be closer to me.
Was he sad as he slept in my bed? Did he think of me? Did he miss me? Did he want me and long for me?
Did his heart hurt for me?
Monday 11 December 2000
7.20pm
Sick. AGAIN. I should’ve known by how I felt Saturday morning, when Matt was trying to wake me, that I was brewing something.
Right before my holidays too!!
Why, cruel world, why?? I want a great holiday, filled with frolicking and flirting and fun and friends!! All those great f things!!
The other f word would be great, too.
I’ve not heard from Ever. I’ve heard from Matt though.
I’m determined not to fall for Matt, then I lay eyes on him and (worse) he lays those sexy eyes on me, and I’m powerless to resist.
Am still thinking about Ever way too much though.
Tuesday 12 December 2000
5.45pm
Oh, just make it holidays already!!
I star ten hashed. Ever had called.
What does he want?? Does he want me??
6.38pm
And now Matt calls. Damn him and his perfect ways. How’s a girl supposed to resist when he keeps acting like this??
Wednesday 13 December 2000
7.17pm
Sick. Survived the work day somehow.
I’m reading Karen Robards at the moment. Quite like her.
Matt rang. Ever didn’t.
Do you think Matt is passionate? Do you think the sex would rock??
Look at me. After everything I’ve gone through, I emerge shallow as ever. I should choose the guy who has the best boyfriend ability. And still I put passion and sex at the top of the list instead.
I will never learn.
It’s so blissfully summer right now. A perfect summer night. The air coming in my window…heaven. It even smells and FEELS like summer.
Holidays are almost here!!
Chapter 20
EVER FINDS SOME…WORDS
Thursday 14 December 2000
9.35pm
I think I’m officially on holidays!!! Cause Renee sent me home from work today, sick, and called to my retreating back, “And don’t come in tomorrow like that! Take an extra day’s holiday!”
You don’t need to tell me twice!
>
I went to the doc, and I’ve got whooping cough again. Go figure.
Ever rang. And we had a LONG, LOOOOONG talk. Like too long even for my girlishness to bear, let alone how he must feel.
(but who really cares about that)
Oh God, I’m too tired to go into it all. Will write it all tomorrow. But basically, he cares. He kept saying he does.
I fell hard, all over again for him.
I don’t know what to do. Ever has said all this before
(not quite as much as he said it tonight though),
but Matt’s there, being and doing all the right, sexy things…
(God, Matt is sexy…but this is supposed to be about Ever)
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