by Lucy Clark
‘Promise. Now, go. We’ll be fine.’ As she said the words, she realised she meant them. She watched as he bent to give Melody a hug and kiss, wondering whether he was going to give her one or not.
She also heard him whisper, ‘Remember, Daddy loves you.’ And Rose’s heart filled with love for him.
Dave stood and met Rose’s gaze over his daughter’s head. ‘You OK?’ he mouthed. She nodded and smiled. Dave smiled back and blew Rose a kiss before heading to the door.
‘All right. We need to sift this flour into the bowl, Melody.’ She stopped. ‘Do you like being called Melody or Mel?’
‘Mel,’ the little girl answered. ‘It’s my nickname that Uncle Mick and Dad call me. Dad says that everyone has to have a nickname because then it makes them feel special.’
‘I guess he’s right,’ Rose answered, knowing she cherished the way Dave said her nickname.
Dave listened for a moment and released the breath he’d been unconsciously holding. Everything was going to be fine. He could always count on Rosie to pull through.
Three hours later, they’d made two batches of biscuits, mainly because they’d eaten all the ones from the first batch, made an upside-down pineapple cake and started on preparations for a beef wellington Rose was cooking for dinner that night. She’d made a little apron for teddy out of a hand towel and had readjusted the straps on one for Melody. Teddy had mainly watched as Melody hadn’t wanted him to get too dirty and Rose had agreed, although she was almost sure she’d seen teddy sneak a biscuit or two.
‘What’s in the bag?’ Rose asked as she hung up the drying towel. At least the kitchen was once again clean.
‘Books and stuff,’ Melody replied, collecting teddy from the bench and taking off his apron.
‘What kind of books? Reading books?’ Perhaps Rose could read Melody a story.
‘Some.’ She shrugged and started pulling them out.
School books, Rose realised with a frown. Well, if Dave had sent her with work to do then she guessed they had to do it, but they could at least do it somewhere more comfortable than in the kitchen.
‘Why don’t we go into the lounge room and sit in there?’ Rose gathered up the books and Melody followed like a dutiful puppy. Rose sat down on the floor and spread the books all over the carpet. Melody gaped openly. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘You’re sitting on the carpet.’
‘Sure. Try it. It’s nice and soft.’
‘But carpet isn’t for sitting on, chairs are. Carpet is for clean feet but not dirty shoes.’
‘Really?’ That sounded like something Julian would have said. ‘Well, I don’t have dirty shoes and neither do you. This carpet is nice and soft.’ Rose patted it with her hand. ‘Come and try it.’
Melody came over and sat down, a small, intrigued smile on her face.
‘So, which of these books do you think we should start with?’
‘I don’t care.’
Rose looked up and was surprised to find Melody’s smile had disappeared. ‘You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,’ she said, touching the school books lightly. ‘We can always do something else.’
‘Like what?’
‘Um…’ Now you’ve done it, she thought. ‘What do you like doing?’
Melody thought. ‘I like playing with dolls. I did that once at Chelsea’s house.’
‘Oh? Is Chelsea a friend of yours?’
Melody shook her head. ‘Not really. I don’t have any friends.’
‘What about the girls at school?’
Melody shook her head again. ‘They’re not very nice. They say mean things and that I’m a baby because of teddy and that I cried when Miss Schansky took him away from me, but I’m not a baby. I’m a big girl.’ There was a hint of defiance in her eyes and Rose liked it.
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Really? You really think so?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Mummy always says I’m too little and to get out of her way.’ Melody frowned and hugged teddy close.
‘What’s wrong, Mel?’
Tears trembled on the little eyelashes. ‘I don’t think my mummy loves me.’ The tears rolled over. ‘She never tells me and said I was going to live with Daddy and not her but…but my daddy loves me. He told me so.’
Rose could feel her own tears threatening. Funny, she’d thought she’d cried them all out last night. ‘Yes, he does,’ she concurred, and pulled a tissue from her pocket. She reached over and dabbed at Melody’s eyes. ‘I’ll tell you something special, Mel. I know exactly how you feel.’
Six-year-old eyes widened in surprise but she didn’t speak.
‘My mummy didn’t love me either.’ Saying the words out loud hurt, but the instant they were out, Rose started to feel better. She’d done it. She’d said those hateful and horrible words out loud. ‘But my daddy does. He still does and I’m all grown up. Your daddy will love you just like that, too.’
Melody took the tissue out of Rose’s hand and dabbed it against Rose’s eyes. The action nearly brought on a fresh bout. She took a deep breath in and said, ‘Now, how about we find some dolls to play with, eh?’
Melody nodded and smiled. A real smile and one that Rose reciprocated.
Rose almost lost track of time and if the phone hadn’t rung, she would have been late for Theatre. ‘Dr Partridge,’ she answered.
‘Hi, Rosie. How’s it going?’ Dave’s concern wasn’t lost on her. She knew how important today had been for all of them.
‘Great. Really great. She’s wonderful, Dave.’
He let out the breath he’d been holding. ‘That’s just what I needed to hear.’
‘What’s up?’
‘I’m running late. Can you bring Mel with you to the hospital? I’ll be finished by the time you get here but I’m conscious of not making you late.’
‘Sure.’
‘Make sure you bring my biscuits,’ he reminded her.
‘Would you ever let me forget? I’ll put some in for Mick as well.’
‘And me,’ Melody added.
‘Of course. All right. We’ll see you soon.’ She hung up and explained to Melody. ‘So we need to pack up and I need to get changed for work.’
‘Will you be working all night? I thought doctors worked at night.’
‘Sometimes we do but not today.’ Rose helped her pack up. ‘My dad and his new wife are coming back from their holiday today.’
‘Your dad got married again?’
‘Yes.’
‘So now you have a new mum?’
‘Kind of. Her name is Beverley and I don’t really think of her as my mum. I think of her as my friend. A good friend who really loves my dad.’
‘Margaret—that’s my mum—is getting married tomorrow but she didn’t want me there. Julian—that’s her yucky boyfriend—doesn’t like me either but I don’t like him. They’re going on a honeymoon and I heard Margaret saying that she’d trick Daddy into letting me stay.’
‘But she didn’t need to trick him,’ Rose replied. ‘Your daddy wants you. Remember he told you how much he loved you?’
‘Yeah.’ Melody’s eyes registered her statements before they dimmed again. ‘But I don’t ever want to get married. Yuck.’
Rose didn’t have time to debate the issue and it seemed as though Melody had made up her mind at any rate. No doubt she’d change it when she got older and give her father and Uncle Mick a few grey hairs with the boyfriends she’d be bringing home.
When they arrived at the hospital, Rose was running five minutes late but she made sure she said goodbye properly to Melody.
‘I’ve had so much fun today. Thank you for coming to play, Mel.’
‘Sounds as though you two girls have had a wow of a time,’ Dave commented as Rose straightened. Melody instantly held out the container that was filled with biscuits.
‘Look what we made, Dad.’
Dave opened the lid and took one out, biting into it immediately. ‘Mmm. You girls
,’ he said as he swallowed his bite, ‘are such good cooks. Mmm-mmm.’
Melody giggled and on that note Rose said her goodbyes and headed to Theatre.
Thankfully, the list was routine with no surprises, which she was very relieved about because, whether it was due to her bad night’s sleep or playing with Melody all morning, Rose felt completely washed out.
When she arrived back at the house, she was glad to see her father and Beverley were home, her dad back in the kitchen he loved, putting the finishing touches to the dinner she’d started earlier.
While they ate, both of them chattering about their honeymoon, Rose started to unwind but couldn’t suppress the yawns that kept plaguing her. ‘Sorry,’ she apologised as she rose from the table.
‘Go to bed, dear,’ Beverley said. ‘You’ve obviously had a busy day.’
‘Thanks. I think I will.’ She kissed Beverley goodnight but when she went over to her father, he held her at arm’s length.
‘Rosie, darling, I don’t want to pry, but you know I’m here for you if you need anything. To talk and things like that. Beverley, too,’ he added. ‘We both care about you so much and we just want you to be happy. You can count on us.’
‘I know,’ she said, and gave her father a big hug. ‘Everything’s still kind of muddled in my head and I’m too tired to try and make sense of it.’
‘Well, off you go to bed, then, princess.’
‘Goodnight.’ Rose headed off to her room and had just closed the door when the phone rang. She groaned and then remembered that she didn’t need to worry about answering it. She waited for a moment, listening for footsteps heading her way in case there was an emergency at the hospital, but after a few minutes she continued on to the bathroom to wash before bed.
Five hours later, Rose was walking quietly through to the kitchen to make herself a drink. She’d managed to sleep but had woken with a start, unable to breathe properly, her body trembling with fright.
‘You all right, dear?’
She jumped as Beverley came into the room, water flying out from the kettle she was filling.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Can’t sleep?’ Beverley took the kettle from Rose. ‘Sit down. I’ll make us a nice warm drink.’
‘It’s OK, I can—’
‘Sit. Your father’s asleep, which means I get free run of his precious kitchen.’ Beverley smiled as she spoke. Once the kettle was boiling and Beverley had set out the cups, she sat down opposite Rose. ‘Now, what’s going on with you and Dave?’
‘Oh, Beverley.’ Rose slumped forward, her head resting on the bench. ‘I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.’
‘Do you love him?’
‘Yes.’
‘Do you know if he loves you?’
‘He says he does. He said he wants to marry me.’
‘Really!’ Rose lifted her head and looked into her stepmother’s astonished eyes. ‘This is serious.’
‘Yes.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
Rose wasn’t quite sure where to start.
‘Is it his daughter? Are you afraid to take on an immediate family?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Rose wailed, and slumped forward again. ‘I’m just so confused. Do I change my nice quiet lifestyle to accommodate a man and his child? Am I capable of that? Will I make a good mother?’
‘Is that what’s bothering you? Whether or not you’ll turn out like your mother?’
Rose nodded. ‘That’s part of it. I’m just not good at taking chances, Beverley. I took a chance with Julian and look what happened.’
‘But that was a wrong chance to take.’
‘How am I supposed to know what’s right and what’s not?’
Beverley reached over and placed her hand on Rose’s. ‘You follow your heart.’ The kettle boiled and soon Rose had a hot toddy in front of her. ‘Sip it slowly. It’s your father’s recipe.’ Beverley sat down again. ‘I can tell you straight out, Rosie, that you’re nothing like your mother. Oh, you may look like her, but in personality you are exactly like your father.’
‘But how could you know? You’ve never—’
‘Met your mother?’ Beverley finished. ‘Yes, I have. Of course, I had no idea she was your father’s ex-wife until much later, but I knew her all right. She was my boss years ago when I lived in Sydney. She’s since moved overseas to work and all I can say is good riddance to her.’
‘She was in Sydney?’
‘For many years.’
Rose felt even more dejected. ‘She really doesn’t like me, does she?’ Tears stung at her eyes and Beverley quickly took her hand again.
‘It’s not a matter of like or dislike as far as she’s concerned. She’s just…’ Beverley shrugged ‘…indifferent. Not that I’m making excuses for her.’ She paused. ‘I know this is easy to say and hard to do, but try not to take it personally, dear. She was indifferent to everyone she met. She has no real friends, no real relationships, except with her company, but that’s who she is. So, you see, you are nothing like her. You aren’t an icicle nor an emotional nomad. You’re a woman on the brink of self-discovery, deciding whether to trust herself as well as trust others with her heart.’
Rose sipped at her drink, taking in what her stepmother had said.
‘I can understand your reluctance because your father was the same. I knew from the moment I first met him, when we were discussing the photo layout for his first book, that I wanted to marry him.’
‘But that was almost ten years ago.’
‘That’s right. Don’t waste ten years of your life, Rosie. As soon as you know, do it. Get on with it now. So what if things have happened quickly? They’ve happened! If you love Dave, then take the chance. Trust your instincts. Listen to your heart. From what Dave has said, it seems Melody had a lovely time this morning, which proves you’re nothing like your mother.’
‘Dave? You’ve spoken to Dave?’
Beverley nodded. ‘He called just as you were heading to bed. He wants me to look after Melody when he’s working. I looked after her last time she came to stay and told Dave I’d do the same whenever she came back. She’s such a gorgeous child.’
Rose couldn’t resist the smile that tugged at her lips when she thought of Melody. ‘Yes, she is. I didn’t realise you’d looked after her before.’
‘Oh, yes. Moving to Broken Hill is just what Melody needs—get her away from her mother. Fancy sending a child all the way here from Sydney on her own! Poor darling. Thank goodness Dave has sense, so he called tonight to take me up on my earlier offer to help.’ Beverley had a twinkle of excitement in her eyes as she continued.
‘We’ll fix up the spare room for her in case he works late at the hospital or has an emergency and Melody needs to stay the night. Apparently she loved cooking with you today and can’t wait to do some more. Reg is looking forward to having another little girl in his kitchen, one he can pamper and teach—so it works out well for everyone.’
‘It all seems well organised, then.’
‘Nearly. There’s one thing missing from the equation. You! Don’t let this opportunity pass you by, Rosie.’ Beverley squeezed her hand. ‘Reach out and grab that happiness. It’s just sitting there. Waiting for you. You’ll be a wonderful mother for Melody and the perfect wife for Dave.’
‘What if it’s too late? What if he’s changed his mind? What if he’s decided all he needs is Melody? What if he doesn’t want me any more?’
‘Oh, I doubt that, dear. I doubt that very much. You know what to do. All you have to do is to follow your heart.’
The next day, Rose woke late and couldn’t believe the time. ‘Half past twelve!’ She jumped out of bed and quickly showered. Before she’d gone back to sleep, she’d made a vow to find Dave and ask him to marry her.
Beverley was right. She had to trust her instincts and her heart. He wasn’t Julian and she wasn’t her mother. They had a chance at happiness—all three of them—and she wasn’t going to l
et it pass her by!
‘Good morning,’ her father said as she entered the kitchen. ‘Or should I say good afternoon?’
‘You shouldn’t have let me sleep so late,’ she told him, after kissing his cheek. She quickly poured herself a glass of orange juice and drank it, before picking up her car keys.
‘I didn’t want to wake you. Where are you going?’
Rose blew him a kiss. ‘To ask Dave to marry me,’ she said, before heading out to her car. She was running on nervous energy and as she drove out to his farm it occurred to her that he might not be there. It was the first time she’d been out that way and, after glancing at the map book a few times and doing two U-turns, she finally found it.
There were no cars in front of the house, and with the absence of Dave’s ute she guessed he wasn’t around. Still, she climbed out and knocked on the door but wasn’t surprised when no one answered.
‘The hospital,’ she said, and turned the car in that direction. Again, his ute wasn’t in the car park and she didn’t fancy going in and asking the nurses if they knew where he was. Where else could he be? Doing house calls? Looking at houses? Visiting friends? Grocery shopping? He could be anywhere in Broken Hill or its outskirts.
She thought hard and then snapped her fingers. ‘The pub.’ She’d try the pub he liked, and if he wasn’t there, she’d simply wait until someone turned up who knew where he was. ‘You’re not giving in,’ she told herself sternly. ‘You’re going to be engaged to Dave Dunbar by the end of this day or else!’
Her hopes plummeted when she pulled into the pub car park, noticing Dave’s ute was absent from there as well. She sighed as she locked up her car and headed inside. The cool air hit her and she pushed her sunglasses up to the top of her head, searching the room for the man she loved.
‘G’day, Rosie,’ one of the nurses called, and beckoned her over. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Good,’ Rose replied in response to the typical Australian greeting.
‘Rosie.’ The deep voice behind her made her heart race and she turned expectantly.
‘G’day, Mick,’ she murmured a moment later, her face falling.