Twisted War

by Danielle James

  Is it wrong that I had a pang of sadness in knowing Chloe wasn’t Emmanuel’s? Probably. It’s probably so fucking wrong but I don’t regret her being Xavier’s. Sometimes I catch him looking at Chloe with sadness in his eyes. It kills me. It makes me feel awful and I don’t even know why. She’s his! He’s still acting like we don’t know or something.

  Chloe started to stir a bit so I put her down. I’m always scared that my fucked up energy will rub off on her so I’ve been trying to change my ways. I even started going to therapy. Me! Emmanuel suggested it and he even found the doctor, of course. Xavier bitched about him finding me a male psychologist. Emmanuel assured him that he trusted me with Dr. Epps though and that nothing was going down because he was a married man. I’m also pretty sure Emmanuel threatened Dr. Epps within an inch of his life in the most politically correct way the Mayor can do such a thing.

  I was pulled from my thoughts when I finally heard the alarm beep and Xavier walked in. I turned on Chloe’s night light and monitor then closed her door gently. “Why are you home so damn late?” I frowned.

  “I had to meet with that youth group tonight and then I stayed behind to finish up the paperwork for Jada to sign tomorrow. We’re gonna have a meeting to discuss her position.” He rambled setting his phone down on the counter and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. My eyes flitted over his chest and I swallowed back a few lustful thoughts. Dammit Camilla, focus. I was supposed to be fussing at him but all I could think of was attacking him and deep throating his dick.

  “Oh, you’re meeting with her alone tomorrow are you?” My arms folded across my chest and my head tilted to the side. I watched him like a fucking hawk. I dared him to smirk or make one false move. He’d been so good for the past two months actually being faithful. I’ve even been keeping away from Emmanuel even though it’s been so fucking hard because seeing him on TV makes me incredibly horny.

  He’s agreed to wait out our little bout of faithfulness as he calls it, so he hasn’t called for me to be with him but I swear if Xavier starts fucking this bitch at the daycare I’m done with the faithful shit. It’s for the birds anyway.

  “You still don’t trust me, Camilla?” He stared at me unflinching and I rolled my eyes. “I do think she has a little crush on me though,” he admitted with a shrug.

  “Oh, well then you’re gonna fuck her,” I surmised with another eye roll. Xavier is such an expert at getting me to roll my eyes whether he’s fucking me or pissing me off.

  “Damn Camilla, you have absolutely no faith in me. I’m hurt.” He feigned bruised feelings then cracked a big, dimpled smile and I forgot why he’s an asshole. His arm snaked around my waist and he bit my neck until I gasped. “Is Chlo sleeping?” He asked in between kisses to my shoulders. I nodded while my hands worked to undo all the little stupid fucking buttons on his shirt. If it weren’t so expensive I’d pop every last one of them sending them bouncing across the floor. Finally, his shirt hit the floor before he swept me off my feet and carried me into the living room.

  We never even make it to the damn couch. We tumbled to the carpet and my hands roamed his hard body until I found the hardest part. Xavier’s dick popped out at me and I wasted no time wrapping my lips around the head of it and rolling my tongue across its surface.

  “Fuck…” He hissed out. His fingers threaded themselves through my hair and he thrust into my mouth anxiously as if he had been away from me forever. It made me so wet. I let him mouth fuck me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to feel him inside of me. A part of me did want to taste him and feel him explode in my mouth but my pussy won that debate.

  I climbed on top of him and pushed his thick dick inside of my wetness. I bit my lip watching it slide in slowly, knowing I was drenching him. Once he was deep inside, he gripped my waist and slammed into me hard, letting me know that even though I was on top, he was in control.

  I circled my hips around and around until I felt the pressure of an orgasm building up inside of me. He felt so fucking good filling me up that I couldn’t help how loud my moans were getting. Xavier grabbed two handfuls of my ass and I started to slide up and down his length. The sound of my skin against his sent chills through my body even though I had sweat dotting my forehead. “Oh my God,” I panted. I was ready to cum but I knew better than to do that before Xavier was ready. He loved it when we came together and I can’t lie, I loved that shit too. It was a bitch keeping my body from reacting to him though.

  “Camilla, don’t cum yet.” He instructed. He could feel how tight my pussy was getting and how my juices were dripping and rolling onto him. He reached his hand down and started to slowly massage my swollen clit. Involuntarily my head snapped back and I moaned. He knew that was the kiss of death for me. My entire body shuddered without my consent. I felt him coat my walls in an eruption that had me screaming his name so hard my throat felt like it was on fire. Xavier only heightened my orgasm when he pulled my nipple into his mouth and pressed his teeth down sending delicious swirls of pain and pleasure all over my sweaty skin. “I love you so fucking much, Camilla.” He breathed into my mouth as we kissed.

  “I love you too Xavier.” I felt him swallow my words as he pushed his tongue into my mouth and flipped me over on my back all in one motion. We lay there kissing as he softened inside of me and I was in heaven.

  Once we finally made it to our bed I put my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat to a strong and steady rhythm. My fingers mindlessly traced the tattooed heart on his chest with Chloe’s name inside. I was where I loved being, in his arms, beside him, touching him. I did miss Emmanuel but I saw him enough to satiate me…or at least parts of me. I still missed fucking him though, I can’t even lie. But I was being faithful because that’s how much I loved Xavier. I loved him enough to put the most addictive man on hold just to see if he’d really be honest; to see if we could really make it work.

  “Xavier, can you make me a promise?” I looked up at his honey eyes. He kissed my forehead and nodded. “Can you please not fuck Jada? I know I should trust you but she’s already coming at me with her fucking claws out, so I can only imagine how hard she’s throwing pussy at you.” He inhaled and paused before letting it out like it pained him to even think about promising me something that should have been so basic.

  “Why do you think I’m gonna fuck her Camilla?” He asked, pinching his brows together.

  “That’s not an answer,” I frowned.

  “Oh my God. Can we just bask in the good sex we just had?” He groaned.

  “Or you can just promise not to fuck the bitch.” My voice was rising and I was off of his chest sitting straight up in bed. I really shouldn’t have to argue about this shit and hearing him say anything but what I wanted to hear was giving me a massive headache.

  “Alright, Camilla I won’t fuck her. Shit. You happy now?” He scoffed at me and changed the channel on the TV. I don’t know how long I glared at him but I felt a vein pulsing in my forehead. “Please calm down,” Xavier groaned. “I promised I wouldn’t fuck her and you’re still mad?” He looked at me and seemed more annoyed by my feelings than anything else. I needed to get the fuck away from him before my emotions started to twist themselves into a hunger that only he could fulfill.

  My therapist keeps telling me that I need to experience anger and not run right towards the thing that made me angry. Experience it and let it go. The anger was nipping at me though, I wanted to scream at him and then fuck him. I found my phone and called my Dr. Epps on his emergency cell. I only did that when I was going to pass out or I felt so overcome with anger that I needed to have a dick inside of me.

  He answered on the first ring, thank God.

  “Alexander, I’m way too pissed off with Xavier right now.” I blurted into the phone. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes. He breathed heavily and I could hear him shuffling around on the other end. I knew his wife was probably pissed that I dragged him out of bed but I needed him to help bring me down l
ike he’d done numerous times before.

  “Camilla, you can’t turn around and fuck him. You need to let your anger happen.” Hearing what I already knew helped me to breathe a little easier. I don’t know why I needed to hear him say it but it helped so much. I loved Dr. Epps’ candid nature. I could talk to him without feeling like he was jotting down my every word.

  “Ugh,” I whined into the phone. “It’s so damn hard. Can I come in tomorrow? I have so much I need to talk about.”

  “Camilla, you have an appointment tomorrow anyway. It’s Thursday, remember?”

  “Oh shit, you’re right. Okay.”

  “How are you feeling now Camilla?” He asked in that patient, calm voice.

  “I…I think I’m better,” I stammered, realizing my headache was gone. I rubbed my forehead and thanked him for his help before ending the call. Sometimes I wondered if I was his biggest burden or if he really was that damn patient and kind.

  Xavier knocked on the pantry door where I’d secluded myself in order to call Alexander. I sucked in a breath and pulled the door open, concerned painted his features. His arms were crossed over his chest and his pajama bottoms hung slightly off his hip giving me a glance at the sexy V cut leading to his dick. I jerked my eyes back to his. “Had to call Alexander for a minute,” I said waving my phone in front of him. I tried to move past him but he grabbed my arm.

  “I made you that mad?” He quizzed. “And why the fuck do you keep calling your doctor by his first name? I hate that shit. Call that man Dr. Epps like everyone else.” He rambled as he pulled me back to our bedroom.

  “First of all, yes you made me that fucking mad. Secondly, I don’t call him Dr. Epps because fuck that. I’m grown. His name is Alexander and that’s what I’m going to call him.” I grunted and turned over on my side, away from Xavier.

  In a matter of seconds, he was pulling me into him even though I was protesting with my body. He curled himself around me and kissed my neck. Feeling his lips on my skin made me relax against him. “I’m sorry I made you mad, Camilla. I’m sorry it took me a minute to promise not to fuck Jada. She is bad though.” He chuckled and I slapped his hand.

  “She’s okay,” I shrugged.

  “She’s not you though.” He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled it a little, making me moan. God, he knew how to get to me, even when I was mad at him. Asshole. “Nobody will ever be you,” he said against my ear. I finally believed him. It was probably just because he had my earlobe tucked between his teeth but I believed he was really going to keep his promise.

  We fell asleep like that, cradled against each other until we both got hot in the middle of the night and went to our separate sides of the bed. That was our love. Real and raw and imperfect, and I was going to try to make this shit work even if it killed me to stay away from Emmanuel.

  **

  Alexander’s office was right across the street from Emmanuel’s office building. I’m one hundred percent sure that’s why he picked him to be my therapist. I looked out of the floor to ceiling window and eyed the exact space I knew belonged to Emmanuel. I knew he was in there doing whatever the fuck Mayors do. He probably had on a suit too. Jesus.

  “What’s on your mind, Camilla?” I jumped at the sound of Alexander’s deep, smooth voice. I didn’t even know he was in here. He should wear a damn bell or something.

  “You sure you never did those Allstate commercials, Alex?” I laughed.

  “Nope. Not my style. What did we speak about as far as you calling me Alex?” He asked raising an eyebrow at me. I smacked my lips together and sat down on the couch.

  “You hate it,” I recited from memory. He would only let me call him Alexander. He wasn’t very specific about it, only telling me that he hated the nickname Alex.

  “Exactly,” he chuckled. “How are you feeling today? Better than last night I hope.” His kind eyes were probing me but not in an intrusive way at all. He seemed to really want to know if I felt better.

  “I’m good. I pushed through it. Didn’t even fuck Xavier like I wanted to.” I smiled proudly. Alexander nodded slowly and then let his eyes drop to his tablet. He was tapping out words in his notes and I craned my neck to see.

  “What are you writing?” I walked over to him, totally ignoring his personal space and glanced at the tablet. He frowned at me and quickly made the screen go black.

  “Finish telling me about your episode last night,” he said, motioning back to the couch.

  Alexander had a way with me that I both appreciated and hated. He made me feel like we were two friends talking one minute, and like he was a teacher reprimanding me the next. He never changed his tone or his expression, but I could feel it.

  As I told him about my near episode last night he nodded and listened and occasionally tapped on his tablet. When I was done talking, Alexander looked at me and smiled. His deep brown face lit up. It was so funny how one moment he was all business but when he smiled he looked like a little boy. He’d told me before he was only 38 but he’s always looked significantly younger. At first, I didn’t even believe he was my therapist.

  “Why are you smiling?” I quirked an eyebrow up at him and leaned forward in my seat.

  “I’m wondering if you realize that you were able to calm down without having a swing.” He tapped on his tablet again and looked at me. “I’m proud of you, Camilla. You just keep getting better and better about managing your anger. Have you been taking your pills?” His smile faded away because he knew damn well I hated those fucking pills. They made me sick to my stomach.

  “Not lately,” I mumbled. I avoided Alexander’s gaze but I could hear him suck in a disapproving breath.

  “Camilla, we keep going over this. You have to take your pills if you really want to get better.” This was the exact moment I was talking about. Now I felt like a child being reprimanded.

  “I told you, they make me sick,” I snapped.

  “Have you been taking them with your meals?” He asked.

  “No, because I don’t take them! I’m just fine with my sessions. I don’t need the medicine too.” I stood to my feet and paced the floor.

  “I’m not here to fight you. I’m here to help you, but you need to follow the rules.” He put his tablet down on the coffee table and stood as well, only he was taller than me and I had to look up at him.

  “Never been good at following rules,” I told him with a stern face.

  “You need to follow them when they benefit you,” he told me. I was ready to end the session. I grew quiet and Alexander could tell I was over it. “You’re ready to go, aren’t you?” He frowned.

  “Yup.” My tone was clipped and cold.

  “May I ask where you’re going after this?” He already knew the answer to that question though. My lack of an answer made him groan. “Camilla, you cannot go see Emmanuel and try to drown out your anger. You need to deal with it. If I’m making you angry why don’t you say that?”

  “I’m done Alexander,” I said. I grabbed my purse and walked over to the door.

  “I’ll see you on Monday, Camilla. We’ll talk about this.” I just rolled my eyes and shut the door behind me. I didn’t want to talk about that shit on Monday or any other day. I hated taking the pills and I wasn’t going to take them. I’d changed enough with just the sessions. If I couldn’t get my therapist to see that then I’d just skip out on my session until he realized it was a dead end.

  **

  Chapter Three

  Emmanuel

  The last thing I expected today was to see Camilla standing in my office. I knew she had an appointment with Dr. Epps but I also knew she was sticking to her guns and being faithful to Xavier. To be honest, the entire thing made me laugh. Here she was trying with everything in her not to even look at me for too long when, knowing Xavier, he would cave within the next week and fuck someone else. The boy always pushed her right back to me no matter what.

  Camilla looked around my office and sat on the opposite side of my desk,
crossing her legs. I wondered if she had on panties under the skirt she was wearing? “What’s going on, Cami?” I asked her.

  “I missed you,” she shrugged.

  “Then come sit in my lap.” I pushed away from my desk a little and motioned for her to come to me. Her skin flushed and she shook her head. Her long hair swung and fell over her shoulders. She looked amazing. “Okay, okay. How long am I supposed to deal with your torture, Camilla?” I laughed, rubbing my face.

  “Torture?” A frown crept across her beautiful face and I wanted to kiss it away.

  “Seeing you and not being able to touch you is fucking torture,” I told her honestly. “Okay, safe topics.” I blew out a breath and knitted my brows together. “How’s Chloe?” Even saying her name made my day brighter. My little Chloe. I wished with everything in me that she was mine but I was content knowing that Chloe was a piece of Camilla. I loved that little girl the same way I love Christina. I would kill anyone who ever tried to hurt her.

  “She’s fine. Xavier is hiring a new director for the center today,” she told me. I already knew whom he’d chosen though and just that alone let me know he was getting ready to fuck his way into a mistake again.

  “Mayor Scott, are you free for lunch today?” My secretary Angela asked with a smile.

  “Who’s asking, Angie?” I already knew she wanted to have lunch with me. She always wanted to have lunch with me. She was a beautiful woman but she wasn’t who I wanted. Every time she started to inch closer to me I put her back in her secretary box and it pissed her off to no end.

  “I’m asking.” She huffed with her fist on her hip. Camilla glared up at her, daggers in her green eyes.

  “I’m having lunch with Cami today,” I told her, gesturing to Camilla. Angela’s eyes slid over to Cami and they eyed each other for a little longer than suitable. I cleared my throat and broke the tension.