Why? Why did she want me, then? Why did she introduce me to Hunter if he would never be mine anyway? I can’t do this now. I need to focus on my sister. But, fuck I hate these feelings.
Leaning against the doorway I wait for some news. Any news. It’s been an hour and no one has updated us. My lawyer and I have been emailing back and forth about my plight. He wants me to surrender all my electronics to the authorities so they can verify that I don’t possess any child pornography, along with the letters Norah left to Hunter. He agreed mediation is the best way to handle the case.
Matthew rises from his seat, and I turn my attention toward the hallway and watch Mason walk toward us with a stupid grin.
“How are they?” I speed my pace to meet him half way. “Do we have a girl or a boy?”
“My girls are doing great.” He smirks. “Our little girl has to stay in the incubator until she’s strong enough, but if she’s anything like her mom, I think she’ll be out soon.”
“People, we have a princess,” I say out loud while hugging him. “Congratulations, Mase, you’re a dad. That’s fucking scary. My best friend is a father. I’m an uncle. When can we meet her? You guys got a name yet?”
“Yes, but Nine is the one who wants to reveal the name.”
Resigned, my parents step out of the waiting room and join us. Mason explains how the most beautiful girl in the world was born only minutes ago, and that my sister is recovering and the doctor didn’t have to use any of the blood we donated.
“Can we meet our granddaughter?” Gabe asks hopeful. “We have to head to the airport to pick up my parents, but I want to see her before we leave.”
Mason asks us to follow him, and during the trip toward the wing where they’ll stay, he tells my parents about the security. The list of visitors and other details I don’t pay attention to because we reach a room with a wall and glass door. There’re two couches, a rocking chair, and a plastic crib graces the middle of the room. A nurse touches the monitors and scribbles on the pad. When she lifts her gaze and spots us, she lifts her index finger and rushes outside.
“We recommend only a couple of visitors at a time.” She looks at the group, then points at a shelf. “Please wear our sterilized and disposable scrubs. Next door there’ll be always a nurse or two on duty. If you have any questions, please feel free to let us know.”
Mason and my parents grab the scrub shirt, a mask, and the hat before entering the room. The rest of us wait outside. MJ and I stare at the incubator through the glass, hoping we can see more than the plastic crib with two holes on it.
“Do you think they named her Christina?” Matthew’s question makes me wonder if they called her Gabrielle. “I should call dibs on that name if she didn’t use it.” And that is where I feel the knife to my heart the most.
“I’m heading home,” I tell Matthew, because I can’t name my child anything. Little Gabrielle will never happen, despite what I told Twinkle ten years ago. “I have to shower, prepare a bag to stay overnight. Do you want me to bring you something?”
“I’ll stick around until you come back.” Matthew’s face goes into his pensive stare and then nods. “Yeah, bring me a bag too. I can shower here and take a nap. We’ll figure our schedule later. Mind if I take the night duty, and you stay during the day?”
“What if I have to go to see my lawyer?” I remind him about my current situation with the law.
“Tell me a day before you make an appointment.” He checks his watch. “Hurry up, Mrs. Princess should be out soon.”
“We should call her Mrs. Queen now.” I point toward the little beauty in the crib. “That’s our new princess.” I smirk, knowing my sister is going to hate us both for calling her Queen. MJ high fives me and shares the internal joy of finding ways to torture AJ. “Remember, we can no longer call her bitch or use foul language in front of the baby.”
“Grace Janine Aiko,” Matthew tells me over the phone. “I’m with AJ, while Mason is in the other room with his baby, holding her. Something about being a kangaroo parent or…I didn’t pay attention to the nurse. When are you coming over?”
“When the police finish going through my shit.”
As I arrived home, my lawyer, Mason’s people, and the police, were waiting outside my door. Pria worked her magic. Now I get why she was on the phone while we waited for news about AJ. She helped put together an entire team assigned to search through my browsing history, and my hard drive. Another team is going through my office shit at Decker Records. Everything I own has been touched by these super teams. There’s not much to find. The only pictures I have are the ones my sister snuck in a few years ago—framed family portraits that include the entire Colthurst clan.
“Call us if you need us, Jacob. We love you.”
Donovan, my lawyer, stands next to me and another officer, who is making sure neither one of us tamper with the evidence. I hand the officer my phone, because even as they have already audited it, they don’t want me to access any other computer with a remote app.
“What happens after this, Donovan?”
“It depends, Decker.” He lowers his voice and takes a couple of steps closer to me. “As long as I can get you out of this pedophile shit, everything else is easier to navigate. Your first hearing is the day after tomorrow, unless I can convince Stinson not to press charges. My team is working to find the best way to defend you.”
I rub my face, wondering if I should contact Stinson. But I resist because it’ll violate the restraining order, and bring even more trouble to my family. The minutes pass, the hours, and I wait for the inquisition to end. Donovan has been on and off the phone, taking most of those calls outside the house.
“Decker.” Donovan enters the house tapping his phone. “I need those letters, and any other documentation you have as proof that she asked you on her deathbed to look after her son.”
“It’s a list. Nothing more than a list of promises.” I point toward the stairs. “Everything is inside my safe. Do I have to provide that too?”
“Yes, if you do what I say, chances are I can get it down to where you will just have to do some community service.” He pauses and looks around. “I recommend you to stay away from trouble—and from Stinson.”
Karl Kowalski, one of Mason’s best friends, approaches us. The teams are gathering around the foyer carrying their equipment. No one speaks about what they found or didn’t find while searching my belongings. I rub the nape of my neck, waiting for someone to absolve me, to give me a sign that everything will be all right. However, nothing is happening. I narrow my eyes at Karl, but he ignores me.
“You can now have access to your phone, sir.” One of the officers hands it to me. “Thank you for your cooperation.”
The parade of people leaves my home, not uttering one word. Donovan shakes my hand and leaves too. I clasp my hands over my head confused where to go from here and if I have anything to worry about.
My landline number rings, and the caller ID reads unknown number. “Yeah?”
“I think they bugged your phone,” I hear from the other side of the line. “If I were you, I’d change it. They found your sex tapes and the toys.”
“Kowalski?” I hear him roar with laughter. “You fucking ass.”
“God, I wish I could see your face, moron.” He continues laughing at my expense. “Look, I know shit about the law, but from what I heard in the elevator your case will be easy. Stay away from trouble. We used valuable favors because of your little stunt.”
“Thank you, Karl, for everything.”
“I don’t know where to start.” I scratch the back of my head. “I’m sorry for every stupid thing I’ve done, and thankful that you’ve been there for me.”
“Both apply.” Matthew crosses his arms. “Don’t you think, Bradley?”
“I get it. A lot of sh… bad things had happened to you,” Mason whispers, a
s he cradles Grace in his arms. My niece wears a tiny diaper, a hat on top of her head, a pair of booties, and oxygen tubes. Her lungs haven’t fully developed, but she’ll recover soon. “But you have a lot of great things going for you. What exactly happened yesterday that landed you in jail?”
“My turn to hold Miss Cutie.” Pria enters the room, wearing the scrubs, a mask, and even surgical gloves. “AJ’s awake.”
“I wish I could have both in the same room.” Mason closes his eyes for a brief moment, kissing Grace. “I love you, baby girl.”
Mason hands Grace to Pria. As I see her holding my niece, I hesitate leaving the room. A pain in the back of my throat develops. Anguish overtakes my body. I lost her while working hard to become a better man for her.
“Jacob.” Matthew touches my arm as he calls my attention. Pria lifts her gaze toward me, and sadness appears in those dark eyes. God I miss her. She’s never been a sexual object. I lied to myself all those months, believing were just using each other for release. She’s my truth, my light, the person who brought me back from the dead. “Time to go, buddy.”
Driven by my heart, I stride toward them, kiss Grace lightly on the top of her head. I pull down the mask that cover’s Pria’s mouth and press my lips to her before I leave.
Big gestures. Big words. Real feelings. No more hiding behind a tragedy that happened long ago. “Follow your heart,” my father once told Mason. My heart says to clean up my act for real. To make myself worthy of Pria Walker, I have to sweep away the debris I’ve been living under for all these years.
“Maybe someday I’ll ask for your shit, Matthew.” My brother pats my back as we continue our way to the elevator and down to the cafeteria for some food before he leaves the hospital and I stay for the night watch.
“Jacob.” I turn around to find Mason walking toward us. “We want to talk to you.”
“I’ll head to the cafeteria and order us food. Go ahead.” Matthew pokes the button for the elevator. “Look remorseful and maybe she won’t kill you.”
“Uh, yeah, whatever.” I hesitate on going back because now that she’s no longer worried about having a baby, my sister can get all bossy and nasty with me. “Are you armed, Bradley, or are you going to execute me with your two bare hands?”
He shakes his head and doesn’t utter a word.
“There you are, Jacob Christian.” AJ raises an eyebrow. “You should be scared, very scared. This is a standard procedure. We’re doing it because life happens and—”
“We want Grace to be protected.” Mason takes over, holding AJ’s hand. “In case something happens to both of us, we’re naming you her guardian.”
I shake my head, raise my palms, and wave them too. “No, you can’t possibly think I’m fit for that. What about our parents?”
“They’ll help because they’re the grandparents, but we want you to be our children’s guardian—their father in our absence,” AJ continues. “You’ve put yourself through hell for a kid that wasn’t yours, Jacob. I’m sure you’ll do the same and more for our Grace and any other baby we have.”
My heart swells and shrinks. This is a huge amount of trust, and I’m deeply touched by it. Scared that I would be in charge of their children, but happy that they know I would care for Grace.
“I’m honored. I swear I’ll be there for her.” I pause, swallowing the lump that forms in the base of my throat. My sister never ceases to surprise me, and to hit the exact spot when I need her to do so. She believes in me. “For all your children and for the two of you too. No more stupidities.”
“I know. The darkness is totally gone too.” She winks at me. “Now hush, I have to convince this man and the doctors that I’m healthy enough to jump on a chair and head next door to hold my baby.”
I embrace her and leave the room, wanting so many things that I can’t figure out where to start.
From not wanting to live, I’m now finding myself in a state where I want everything. By being afraid of losing my loved ones, I stopped living. Shutting the door to any outsiders, I closed the possibilities of discovering the world. This process should start from the beginning, the first thing I refused to do many years ago.
A detour on my way to the elevator is what I need. I stop in front of Grace’s room and only take one step in. Pria’s in the rocking chair with my niece—she’s so beautiful. Her gaze lifts and her face scrunches.
“I love you, Twinkle. Don’t give up on me.”
Not wanting to know her reaction, I pivot and leave the room.
Stinson agreed to sit down and try to resolve things outside the courtroom. He waits in the other room where Donovan, his lawyer, and a third person will witness our exchange. I’m hoping to convince him not to press charges for aggravated assault, but if he does, at least I’d have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness for my behavior in the past years. The pedophile charges are gone. Donovan recommended Stinson and his lawyer to stick to real facts or we’d be forced to use our resources to defend ourselves.
I fix my tie while crossing the threshold to what represents one of the steps toward my future. On top of the large rectangle table is a folder. At the head of the table sits an elderly woman whose look is anything but pleasant. She’s a little intimidating, actually. Her clear, astute eyes stare at me; they watch my every move. To her right sits Donovan, to her left another suit, younger than Donovan. The man leans toward Tyler Stinson; they glare at me and continue their discussion. I continue walking and take a seat next to Donovan, placing the manila envelope on top of the mahogany table.
“Good morning, everyone,” Donovan starts. “We’re here to have a friendly chat following the events of two days ago. Mrs. Russell is here as a witness. Mr. Decker, the floor is yours.”
I look at Tyler. “Norah appeared at a time when I thought my life was over.”
Tyler laughs. “Her life was over. You were a spoiled rock star pretending to give a shit about my wife.”
“Ex-wife,” I murmur. “Making assumptions based on my line of work is judgmental. I cared about her and your child. For me, they were a godsend when I believed my life was over. Yes, I was a child and I couldn’t see past my pain. My pain increased when I lost her and Hunter.”
I take the list of things I had promised Norah.
1. Become Hunter’s caregiver
2. Never fall in love again
3. Never kiss again
4. Only have anonymous sex
5. Keep my memory alive
Then I slide across details of the trust fund I set for Hunter when Norah died. I used the little money I had back then in an attempt to provide for him, to ensure if I died he was taken care of.
“She said that when she died, Hunter would be alone.” I loosen my tie, and take several sips of water. I resist disclosing the shit about him being a crappy parent, or an abusive asshole. Norah liked to play with the reality, and hurting him isn’t in my plans. “Back then I believed they were my only chance for having a family. I never meant to hurt anyone with my actions, only to protect Hunter, and keep my promise to Norah. My intentions were in the right place, but I failed to think about the perception of my actions for the past years, and for that and any inconvenience, I apologize.”
Tyler’s angry eyes stare at me, and his look of contempt leaves me chilled. I scratch my neck and lecture myself to stay quiet. The silence is killing me, but I have to fight the need to break it with some stupid comment.
“She left me for a boy eleven years younger than me—you. Norah’s last days belonged to me. Instead, she chose you. After she died, you fought me for custody of my boy. My son, not yours. Maybe it’s hard for you to understand, but what you were trying to do was fucked up—I’m a good father and I provide for him. I did what my lawyer suggested to keep you away, but you kept coming around. Going to the cemetery, watching Hunter play football from afar… I’ve seen you throughout the
years, but I couldn’t report you when you stayed three hundred feet away from us. This won’t absolve you from what you did to me.” He points at his face. “You think you’re the only person that suffered with her death?” He stands up and slams the table and taps his chest lightly. “You were an irresponsible kid then, and you’re still the same irresponsible man that thinks everything is solved with money. One way or another, you’ll serve jail time for the years I’ve had to watch my back, fearing you’d come and snatch my son.”
“I’m here to promise that you’ll never hear from me.” I close my eyes and think about Pria, her soft voice even when she’s boiling inside. “Reflect what you want others to see,” she said once. I want them to see a mature person taking charge of his life and not snapping like a brat. I push the letters Norah left for Hunter and hand them to him. “I’ve come back from the nightmare I’ve been living since I was eighteen years old. This is the beginning of a new life. I’m sorry for any pain I caused to you, Hunter, and your family. You’re free to decide whatever you want, and I appreciate the opportunity you granted by listening to my side.”
Leaving the room with less weight than I carried in doesn’t erase the sour taste the encounter left. My fathers, who came to support me, walk behind me as I head out of the building. Their presence is a reminder that no matter what I do or how much I fuck up, I have a family that loves me and supports me.
The sky is clear; millions of stars shine, but I only spot a few. The city lights prevent me from seeing all of them, but my heart knows it’s full and that from my parents’ home, she can watch more than I can. Pria is leaving tomorrow. She’s avoiding my calls, not responding to my texts, and avoiding me when I’m around. I can’t find a way to convince her to stay with me. To show her I’ve changed. Things are shifting and everything is because of her. Tyler Stinson didn’t press charges against me. Because of my clean record, the judge let me go with a slap on the wrist, but ordered me to sign up for anger management classes.
Uncharted (Unexpected Book 3) Page 33