“Papa!”
The voice registered hazily in the background of her thoughts.
“Papa, where are you?”
Charlotte heard Nico’s soft intake of breath and her eyes popped open.
Elena.
In unison, they jumped apart.
“Over here,” Nico called out and his voice cracked a little.
Charlotte tried to shake the cobwebs from her brain.
“Bunnicula isn’t in his pen, Papa.” Elena was already talking as she popped through the lilacs.
Demetria rushed through the hedge. There was a leaf in her hair and she was panting. “Give your Papa a minute alone.”
“Why?”
“Because…” There was an awkward silence. “It’s nice to talk without little ears to hear.”
Elena crossed her arms over her chest. “Why? Charlotte’s my friend. Papa didn’t even want to put up her fence.”
Charlotte rushed into the argument, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “No, no. There’s no reason you can’t be here, sweetie. You’re my friend.” She kept her eyes firmly away from Nico’s gaze and knelt down. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning and we’ll have a great time planting the garden. Right?”
Elena’s frown evaporated and her arms fell to her sides. “That’s right. You need my help.”
“I do. And now I should go.” Charlotte stood up and moved toward the fence. “Thanks again for the…” She almost said ‘cake’ but that had been her contribution and not anything to be thankful for, to be honest.
“Remember, we’ll see you Sunday,” Demetria said as she took Elena’s hand. “Come on, let’s get out the ice cream. How that sound?”
“Ice cream? Really?” Elena looked as if she couldn’t believe her luck and she didn’t give Charlotte another glance as she turned toward the house.
“I’m sorry, that was ― I didn’t think…”
Charlotte waved a hand and let out a small laugh that sounded flat to her own ears. “No, no, it was my fault.”
“Fault?”
She suddenly wasn’t quite sure if they were discussing the kiss or something else. “I should go. I’m sorry about the…” She pointed back toward his house.
“Charlotte, I went about this all wrong. You see, dating with kids is all new to me and―”
“You don’t have to explain.” Charlotte thought her face must look like it was on fire. She’d never been so humiliated. He’d acted on the emotions of the moment and realized that it wasn’t going to work. Of course she understood. Of course she saw how he wasn’t some college kid, free to kiss anybody he liked. He had obligations.
“Please, don’t worry about it. I should get back.” She mustered a smile. “Can we just pretend this never happened? I hope we can still be friends.”
He dropped his gaze to the ground. “Friends.”
Charlotte felt a little panic at the way he was repeating her. Was he angry? Amused at her little speech? Bored?
“I really like Elena and I hope she can still work in the garden with me,” Charlotte said.
“Of course,” he said softly. “Of course she can.”
Charlotte let out a deep breath. “Good.”
They stood there for another moment and then started to move away at the same time.
“I’d better―” she said.
“You should―” he said.
There was no laughter this time. He stayed silent as she slipped over the fence. Charlotte didn’t look back, not when she reached the garden gate and not when she reached the steps of the deck.
Charlotte sank into a chair at her kitchen table and rested her head in her hands. Well, Lord, that didn’t work out quite as I wanted. She hadn’t realized how much she’d been hoping for the small spark between them to grow into a flame. There had definitely been a flame today, but it had been snuffed out as quickly as it had flared to life. It simply wasn’t meant to be. Not then. Maybe not ever.
She wiped hot tears from her lashes and tried to remember all the good there was in her life. There was so much to be happy about. She didn’t need a boyfriend to be happy.
Boyfriend. She grimaced at the word choice. Nico wasn’t the boyfriend type. That was reserved for young, single guys like Joey Frappano. Nico wasn’t going to casually date anybody.
Somehow she’d started daydreaming about Nico without thinking it through and considering the reality of the situation. But she was all done with daydreaming now. One interrupted kiss was enough to wake her up as effectively as a bucket of ice water. He wasn’t free to get involved and she had to accept that fact before she got her heart thoroughly broken.
Chapter 12
“The sunlight clasps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea: what are all these kissings worth, if thou kiss not me?”
― Percy Bysshe Shelley
Charlotte tucked two pieces of bread in the toaster and waited for a response to her tale. There was a long silence at the end of the phone line and Charlotte let out a sigh. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said.
“Do you? I don’t think so.” Sahil’s voice was quiet.
“We’re both adults and we understand we can’t have everything.”
“Where is my friend? What have you done with Charlotte?”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I,” Sahil said. “You’ve always been the kind who never gave up. You see something you want and go after it.”
“What do you want me to do? Jump the fence and ask him out?”
“Well, you might bring him another plate of cookies or something while you’re at it, but that’s generally what I was thinking, yes.”
“We don’t always get what we want.” Her voice cracked on the last word and she cleared her throat. “So say the Rolling Stones.”
Sahil didn’t laugh. “I just think you might have misinterpreted what happened.”
“The almost kissing part?”
“No, silly. After you got interrupted. I’ve never met the guy, but from what you say, he doesn’t sound like someone who randomly kisses girls―”
“Almost kisses,” Charlotte clarified.
“Same thing,” Sahil went on. “He just doesn’t seem like the type to kiss a girl and then back off. He’s not a kid.”
Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment. She’d wondered about him, in the days after they’d first met, imagining a bevy of pretty females and a long list of ex-girlfriends. But now that she knew him better, she could see he wasn’t like that at all.
The bread popped from the toaster with a dull thunk. “Well, of course we’ll still be friends. That’s what I was looking for, anyway. I wanted to make some friends, grow a big garden and prove to my mom I was right to leave Fresno.” She tried to sound upbeat and cheerful. “I just don’t have room on my plate for anything more.”
“If you say so,” Sahil said. “But promise me you’ll pray about it. Sometimes wires get crossed.”
“I will,” Charlotte promised, but she knew in her heart that she was right.
After a few minutes of small talk, they said goodbye. Charlotte spread butter on her toast without really thinking. It had been several days since the almost kiss and Nico was probably moving on, just as she was. Well, trying to.
Charlotte leaned against the counter and chewed her toast. She knew if she was perfectly honest with herself, that brief moment together had meant more to her than months with Jarrod. Even now, she would swear she felt a thread of connection stretching across the garden, over the fence and into her heart.
She dropped the rest of her breakfast on the plate and poured hot coffee into her travel mug. There was something there. She knew it, and Nico knew it. Under their shyness, there was something tender and small. She’d learned not to chase after things she couldn’t have but Charlotte couldn’t help wondering, for just a moment, what it would be like if that small, fragile something between her and Nico was given room to breathe.
* * *
“See,
Nico, that wasn’t so bad,” Demetria said as she carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen. She’d lapsed back to speaking Greek as soon as they were out of earshot.
Nico glanced back to make sure no one had heard his mother’s comment, even though the one person he cared about wouldn’t be able to understand. “I never said it would be bad. I just didn’t know if it was a good idea to have her over for lunch.”
Charlotte was sitting at the end of their large family table, Elena perched on her lap, both of them laughing at some story his brother Luke was telling. Luke was the classic middle child. His need to stand out had taken him all the way to medical school and back to practice pediatrics in their home town. Theo was doing his best to interrupt Luke’s story at every turn. He was the youngest brother and his light-hearted personality was part of what made him Arcadia Valley’s most popular second grade teacher. Stavros, the oldest, was at the end, a book open in front of him but his attention was focused on Charlotte. Stavros worked as a therapist with juvenile delinquents in a Pocatello group home and visited a few times a month. When he did, he spent most of his time catching up on his reading and eating everything in sight, claiming that there wasn’t any good Greek food in the entire city. Nico watched the five of them for a moment and felt a stab of jealousy. His brothers were clearly taken with his guest and he couldn’t blame them one bit.
There was an ache where there used to be happy anticipation. Their interrupted moment had made it clear that there wasn’t any future for the two of them.
“Church and lunch,” Demetria reminded him. “And why not? You’re just friends, yes? At least give Luke and Theo a chance.”
He didn’t take the bait. He couldn’t see Charlotte with goofy Theo, talkative Luke, or distracted Stavros. “Yes, we’re just friends.”
She set the plates in the sink. “Don’t tell lies, Nico.”
“I’m not.”
“But I saw ― I thought there was―”
“No, it didn’t work out.”
She let out a long laugh and Nico turned, surprised. “What’s so funny about that? It doesn’t feel funny, honestly.”
“Oh, you kids. Didn’t work out? How did you arrive at this conclusion?”
“When Elena ran through the bushes ―” he spread his hands. “It’s hard to explain. She said we should just forget all about it.”
“Just like that? She said ‘forget all about it’?”
“Well, I apologized first. And she said it was her fault.” He’d been over and over it in his mind. “I said I’d gone about it all wrong because I really should have asked her out before…”
“So, she heard this apology and thought you changed your mind?”
“I… maybe.” Nico closed his eyes for a second. “But she was right. We’re really better as friends. We both have so much going on.”
Demetria was quiet for a long moment. Her gaze dropped to a post it note tucked safely on the shelf with the teapot. “What is this?”
“A note from Charlotte. She draws something for Elena when she brings over a plate of whatever she’s been baking.”
Demetria held it up and gave it a long look. “For Elena,” she repeated.
He felt his face start to warm. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Just a note.” He took it from her and tucked it into his pocket, as casually as he dared.
“So, Elena likes mice with swords?”
“That’s Reepicheep. He’s from a book.”
“A book Elena has read?”
He sighed. His mother should have been a homicide investigator. She didn’t let go until she got her answer. “I’ve read them to her. She knows who it is.”
“So, this Reepicheep is Elena’s favorite?”
“No, Reepicheep is mine. Charlotte drew it for me and put it on a plate of cranberry orange scones that were delicious and probably better than yours, if you must know.”
His mother started to smile. “I was never good at scones.” She patted him on the arm. “Baked goods and books. Hard to go wrong there. You’re right. You just stay friends.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Really? No more pushing us together?”
“No pushing. Friends is perfect. And I let her know that she’s invited to church and lunch with us every week.”
His mother wasn’t letting go of her dreams after all. In for a penny, in for a pound. She was sure that love would spring from friendship whether they wanted it or not. What she didn’t understand is that both Nico and Charlotte were adults who were strong enough and wise enough to chart their own courses. And they had both decided that romance was not on the map.
As he came back into the living room, his gaze wandered again toward Charlotte. A terrible possibility occurred to him as he watched her splitting attention between his brothers. He could find the strength to be only friends, but his heart dropped to his feet at the thought of Charlotte dating one of his brothers. Maybe she would make scones for Luke, pen silly notes for Theo, or spend hours discussing books with Stavros.
Watching her fall in love at close range would be almost too much to bear.
* * *
Nico nodded at Stavros as his older brother walked into the industrial kitchen at the back of Delis Sausages. It had to be something serious for his vegetarian sibling to brave the family butcher shop in the middle of a work day. Scraping down the sides of the meat grinder with a wooden paddle, Nico watched the pork and beef mixture for a few more seconds before hitting the switch.
“Hey, I thought you were morally opposed to my workspace,” Nico said.
“It’s more ethically troubling, but I needed to ask you something and I didn’t want our mother overhearing it.” Stavros tucked his book under his arm and started to lean against the counter. He seemed to catch sight of something and took a few steps to the right, leaning against the wall instead.
Nico pulled off his work gloves and came closer. “What’s going on?”
Arlen, the delivery kid, opened the back door and wheeled in a dolly stacked with boxes. He had headphones on and waved when he caught sight of them.
Stavros waved back but switched to Greek, giving them one more layer of privacy. “It’s about your neighbor.”
Nico’s stomach rolled unpleasantly. It had finally happened. He took a deep breath. He could do it. He could let her go be happy with someone else. His throat felt tight but he managed to say, “I see. Well, she’s a wonderful girl and I wish you the best of luck.”
Instead of Stavros breaking into a smile or looking relieved, he simply shook his head. “For such a smart guy, you can be pretty dense.”
It had been years since he and Stavros had clashed. They were the quiet ones, the thinkers. Luke and Theo were the ones who stepped on toes and bickered over trivial issues. “Thanks for the insult. I was just trying to be understanding.”
Stavros stood up straight and took a step toward him, his full height giving him several inches on Nico’s six foot two. “Stop being understanding for once. Stop thinking about everybody else. Stop watching the world pass by and wishing you were part of it.”
“Just hold on a minute―”
“Are you waiting for Laura to come back? She’s not coming back, Nico, and Charlotte is right there in front of you.”
“You don’t know what―”
“I know enough to see what’s happening at our dinner table every single week. She’s in love with you and you’re just letting her hang there, dangling in the wind because you’re convinced there will never be anybody better than Laura.’
“That’s not true.”
“It is.” Stavros dropped the book on the counter and folded his arms. “Tell me you don’t know how she feels.”
“Are you done interrupting me?”
He looked chastened. “I just care about you and Elena. I hate seeing you let a woman like Charlotte walk out of your life because you’re scared.”
Walk out of his life? Nico swallowed hard. “What did you hear?”
“Not much. She’s got
visitors coming this weekend and I bet one of them is that boyfriend from back home.”
“She said there was no boyfriend.” His chest felt tight. Maybe they’d gotten back together.
“Okay, ex-boyfriend. I heard her telling Luke that she still talks to him so he can’t be too far out of the picture.”
Nico stared at the ground. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Go talk to her. Really talk. Enough of this―” he waved a hand in the air, “dancing around each other.”
He hated that it was so obvious to everyone what he was feeling. “I’ve tried to talk to her.”
“Really? A long, private conversation without anybody in the way? And did you tell her everything you were thinking? Or did you just let her jump to conclusions?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why would you say that?”
“Because that’s what you do, Nico. You let everybody else do the talking. I’m telling you, it’s time to open your mouth and speak.”
Nico didn’t like being bossed around and he didn’t take it lightly, but this wasn’t Theo or Luke hassling him. Stavros knew what it was like to be shy, to stay on the conversational sidelines.
“Okay. And if I tell her how I feel and it all goes sideways, I’m blaming you.”
His brother moved to give him a hug and then stepped back again at the sight of Nico’s apron. “I’ll risk it. The Delis family takes care of its own. Even if that means a bit of straight talk, right?”
“Right.” He watched Stavros walk back out of the work area. It was long past time Nico cleared the air. As soon as her visitors were gone, he was going to sit down with her and let her know how he felt.
The thought made his heart pound with fear, but anything had to be better than his current situation. Loving Charlotte from afar was slowly killing him. Maybe she cared for him, or maybe Stavros needed his eyes checked. Either way, Nico needed to put aside his shyness and speak up before it was too late.
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