by Megan Keith
Like I don’t already feel guilty enough.
I try to ignore them and their laughter every day but it is becoming harder and harder to take. I don’t serve him his coffees anymore, Scar does. But today when he walks through the door she urgently (and conveniently) has something to do in the kitchen.
“Your customer,” she says, passing me by.
“Hi,” I greet him shyly when he’s in front of me. “The usual?” I ask, trying for a relaxed smile to hide my nervousness.
“Yes, thank you,” he replies without even attempting a smile in return.
He glances at me for only a second, his eyes emotionless. I swallow hard and make his coffee in silence. When I hand him his cup and he hands me his money our fingers touch, twice, so of course my eyes automatically meet his, twice. The friendly look is back and I let out a sigh of relief as his eyes search mine. Maybe we can be pleasant to each other now. I turn to the register to get his change and when I turn back he’s looking anywhere but at me again. It turns out that the friendly miniscule moment may have been fleeting. How do I fix this? I hate to admit it but I really miss him, which is weird considering I never even had him in the first place. In fact, his attention only ever annoyed me. So why does it annoy me even more not to get it?
“Have a nice day.” I smile at him, handing him his change. It’s the best I can come up with, lame I know.
“Is that all you’ve got to say? After the way you’ve been treating me, that’s it? No apology? Just have a nice day?”
“Me?” I gasp, shocked at his sudden outburst. Anger fills me instantly. “The way I’ve been treating you? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks! I tried to apologise to you, but you cut me off!” It’s then that I realise his expression has changed yet again. He looks smug. The bastard! “Not that I’ve got anything to apologise for,” I quickly backtrack.
“B! That’s enough!” Scar warns as she comes up behind me. “Please keep your voice down.” I hadn’t realised I was yelling. I mumble a sheepish apology.
“B? What does that stand for? Is it Bitch?” Seth asks with a twinkle in his eye.
I can’t believe it! He’s enjoying himself here! “How dare you!” I shout back, my ears burning as I feel the rage overtaking me. Scar chuckles behind me, only adding fuel to my fire.
“Well, well, there’s that feistiness I’ve been missing.” He smirks at me and I’m speechless. So he wanted to get a rise out of me? “You think we can be friends now?” he asks with a smug look on his face.
“Friends?” I ask disbelievingly. “You wouldn’t know how to be friends with me!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, confused, but with a glint of humour still on his face. I don’t know how to answer that, because I don’t even know what it means. What am I trying to say?
“Friends, yes friends,” Scar buts in and rests a hand on my shoulder. “Perfect timing too, because Bitch here needs a ride to my party. She’s closing up tonight. Can you swing by and pick her up on your way? Say about eight?” she asks Seth, not looking at me at all.
“What?” I fume, but she continues to ignore me.
“Sure, I can do that,” Seth replies to Scar, totally ignoring me too.
“But-” I try unsuccessfully to interrupt them.
“It’s not like it’s out of your way and you were coming to the party anyway.” She taps my shoulder and drops her hand.
Wait. What? He was? Scar never mentioned that!
“No problem at all Scar. I look forward to it. I’ll see you at eight,” he says to me, then turns and leaves the café.
“But-” I start to say to no one in particular.
“But nothing B. This is going to be great!” Scar smiles at me and I feel like decking her!
“What are you doing setting me up like that?” I yell at her.
“You needed a ride,” she states simply with a shrug. “I’m doing you a favour. Seth’s a really nice guy.”
“He called me a bitch! And so did you! Why would I even want to come to your stupid party now anyway?” I cross my arms and pout like a silly school girl.
“You’ve got to admit that was kind of funny! B for bitch.”
“Ahh!” I slap her arm.
She pokes her pierced tongue out at me and I can’t help but chuckle. “You’re coming to my place tonight and that’s final.” She smiles at me knowingly – it’s Friday, of course I’m going. “You have been a bitch towards him though. ‘You wouldn’t know how to be friends with me!’” She repeats my words back to me in a whingey voice that sounds nothing at all like I do. “What the hell did you even mean by that?”
“In my defence, I sometimes have no control over what comes out of my mouth!” I grin back at her.
“You got that right!” She laughs.
Seth
I was really looking forward to the party at Scar’s house tonight, but now … now I can’t fucking wait! I park my car outside the laneway where the café is and check my watch. It’s ten to eight and I’m about to pick up ‘B’. Her little outburst this morning has kept me smiling for most of the day. The fire in her eyes was all kinds of hot.
I plan on proving her wrong though. If friendship is all she wants then that’s all she’ll get. Despite my attraction, and obvious physical reaction to her¸ I will take her however I can.
When I reach the door and tug on the handle I’m surprised to find it unlocked even though the closed sign is clearly visible. She really shouldn’t leave the door unlocked when she’s here at night by herself.
Walking through the door I’m struck by really loud music. I see B over in the corner sweeping the floor with her back to me. She’s singing along to Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic.’ I swallow hard when my eyes are drawn to her arse while she grinds her hips in time to the music.
Bianca
“I’m surprised by your song choice!” I hear someone yell from behind me. I jump and spin around, my heart practically leaping out of my chest.
At first I don’t recognise him. Seth looks so different when he’s not wearing his office clothes, and he’s wearing a beanie over his usually perfectly styled hair. I run over to the stereo to turn off the music.
“I said I’m surprised by your song choice,” he repeats.
“I know what you said!” I snap without meaning to. I’m so embarrassed that he’s caught me singing that song! Oh god, I was dancing too!
“I didn’t peg you for a Britney Spears fan.”
“I’m not,” I grumble and then go out through the kitchen to the storage room to put the broom away.
“I’m parked just around the corner,” he says when I return. I turn off the last of the lights, hoping to hide my embarrassment in the darkened café, and follow him out, locking up behind me.
“Just remember that I didn’t actually agree to any of this,” I say, wanting to draw the lines up front, so Seth knows exactly what is going on here.
“This?”
“This! You picking me up from work. And just so you know, this is not a date. I’m not interested in dating you. So don’t even think about it!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he says with a chuckle. I follow him out of the laneway and to the car. He opens the drivers’ side door and gets in and I follow his lead and sit down in the passenger’s seat. Fumbling with my belt, I feel Seth’s eyes on me.
“What?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.
“So what is your name anyway?” he asks, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He lowers his voice and leans towards me. “Unless you’d prefer for me to continue to refer to you as Bitch.”
What? I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face with that comment and the butter-wouldn’t-melt-look on his face makes me want to slap him. And then a large smile creeps over him and I find it contagiously spreading to my own lips. I suppose that was kinda deserved. When he chuckles, I try, unsuccessfully, to hold in my own laugh. He pulls back, fastening his own seatbelt and starting the car.
“Bianca,” I
eventually answer, as he drives away.
“So Bianca,” he says in a way that vibrates through my whole body. My heart rate picks up at the sound of his voice, and the way it wraps around my name. And the intensity in his eyes is distracting too. I silently remind myself that I am not interested. He’s not my type. “You know your way around here better than I do, so how do I get to Scar’s house?”
I give him some vague directions and while he’s paying attention to the road in front of him I take a moment to look him over. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a light blue long sleeved top. He looks younger tonight. I love the grey beanie that he’s wearing, somehow it seems to highlight his eyes. “I like your beanie.” Slips out of my mouth and I quickly look away.
“Thanks,” he says, and though I can’t see him, being that my eyes are currently glued to the side window, I can tell that he’s smiling.
Why did I say that? Fuck me and my stupid mouth!
Seth
“That’s their house right there.” Bianca points out the window at a white weatherboard. We’ve only been in the car for a few minutes. The house is within walking distance to the café, which I find surprising considering that we’re still in the Sydney CBD. I didn’t even realise there were houses this close to the city until we rounded that last corner. The close proximity also makes me realise that it wasn’t necessary for me to pick Bianca up, she’s probably walked the distance many times before.
“That was quick.”
“Yeah, Scar’s overprotective, she doesn’t like me walking the streets at night on my own.”
“Makes perfect sense.” Bianca has her belt off as soon as I park the car and her hand on the door handle before I shut off the engine. “Hey, while I think of it, why is her nickname Scar? Is she hiding a hideous scar or something under all those tatts?” I ask, causing her to pause and turn back to me with a smirk.
“Her name is Scarlett,” she says, rolling her eyes at me before getting out of the car.
“Oh.” Now don’t I feel like a dumb-arse?
Grabbing a six-pack of beer from the back seat, I then have to rush to keep up with Bianca as she briskly walks up the pathway to the house. She doesn’t knock but walks straight in and heads directly to the kitchen.
“Hey guys!” she calls brightly, flashing that perfect smile at everyone but me. They all greet her warmly as she makes her way around the room, kissing everyone on the cheek. Who’d have thought she could be so pleasant? So it’s just me that rubs her the wrong way then.
“Hey there!” Scar greets me, entering the kitchen behind me. She gives me a little squeeze on the forearm.
“Hi.”
Looking around the pokey kitchen I see four rough looking guys covered in tatts and piercings. The only one that looks in my direction has a shaved head and is leaning against the kitchen counter. He has a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He also has a scowl on his face and it’s aimed directly at me. Scar goes over to him and leans against the counter in the same casual pose that he has. Bumping him with her hip, she warns, “Behave.” The guy blinks at me then turns to her and his features soften as he smiles.
“Babe,” he coos, looking down on her lovingly, she shakes her head and smiles at him.
“Seth,” Scar says, turning back in my direction. “This is my husband, Ben.”
Ben pushes off from the counter, places his cigarette in his mouth and extends his hand, much like Scar did the day she introduced herself to me.
“How’s it goin’?” he asks, shaking my hand firmly. His eyes are full of warmth and the crinkles near his eyes stand out when he smiles at me, leaving no trace of his scowl from just seconds ago.
“Good thanks. Nice to meet you Ben,” I reply politely, feeling a little more at ease now that he’s lost his glower. “I brought beer.” I thrust the six pack at him.
“Well, I like you already.” He takes them from me, opening the fridge in one smooth motion. “But I don’t think they’ll fit somehow.” He chuckles. I look around him and see inside the small fridge, one shelf is full of food and the other two are full of beer, coincidentally the brand I happened to buy. I can’t help but laugh. “I guess we’ll just drink these ones first,” he says with a wink to Scar and hands them back to me. I place them on the counter and crack open the wrapping. Pulling two out, I pass one of the bottles to Ben just as he polishes off the last mouthful of the one in his hand. I open the one I’m holding and turn around to give it to Bianca but she’s nowhere to be seen so I keep it for myself.
Just as I pull the beer back from my lips a burly looking man jostles me on his way to the fridge. I back out of his way but he doesn’t even seem to notice me there. He grabs a beer out and walks away without so much as a glance in my direction. I watch as he takes a seat at the small kitchen table.
“So where’d Scar drag that riff-raff in from?” he asks gruffly, nodding his head in my direction. Me? Riff-raff? I’m probably the most decently dressed, well-kept guy here. He turns to look at me then but his eyes seem to focus somewhere to my left. “Scar needs to screen her friends better. We can’t have people like that around here; what will the neighbours think?”
He turns back to his friends with a chuckle. He’s a large, rough looking fellow, probably early fifties, wearing jeans, a black t-shirt and a black leather vest. His feet are bare and his hair is grey. It’s in a long plait that goes halfway down his back and his grey beard is almost as long.
“What? You got nothin’ to say to that?” he asks, turning back to me. Again his focus is off to my left. I thought he was talking to me, but maybe not. I turn to my left but no-one’s there. “Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!” He raises his voice. “Cat got your tongue, little girl?”
I have no idea how to respond. This guy is more than a little intimidating. He looks like the type of guy that you’d hire as a hitman or would belong on an episode of Sons of Anarchy.
“HEY!” he shouts and it makes me jump. “What ya staring at?”
“I wasn’t-” I start but he cuts me off.
“You never seen someone with a fuckin’ glass eye before? QUIT FUCKIN’ STARING!” I wasn’t, I truly wasn’t, but I look away from him anyway. This guy’s really beginning to freak me out.
I spot Bianca standing behind Ben on the other side of the counter, just outside of the kitchen. She’s looking right at me with a smirk on her face. I look back to Ben who has his head down and is trying not to laugh. What am I missing here? I glance around the room and notice that everyone is smiling, everyone but the guy yelling at me. Someone in the corner laughs and suddenly the room erupts. The laughter they all seemed to be containing can no longer be held. I glance back at the mean looking guy and he cracks a smile too. Releasing the breath I was holding, I finally relax when Scar enters the room with a reassuring grin on her face.
“Seth meet Johnno. He’s a scary lookin’ bastard, but he can’t see for shit, hits like a girl and is hopeless in a fight.”
“HEY!” Johnno yells out at her.
“He’s really just a teddy bear,” she adds.
“That’s enough outta you girlie!” he says, playfully tapping her on the arse.
“And unfortunately he lives right next door,” she continues with a wink which makes Johnno chuckle.
“I was only shit-stirring ya, mate. I had you going though, didn’t I?” He extends his hand and I shake it. He seems to look over my left shoulder again, this time I realise he’s not looking at anyone else though. “Excuse the wonky eyes, won’t ya?” he asks softly, almost as if he’s embarrassed. Then his face lights up and he adds with a chuckle, “little girl.”
Two can play at this game. Before I have a second to re-think what may be an incredibly stupid move, I grab hold of his hair in my fist and tug it back. Putting my face in his, I try to look menacingly at him.
“You watch who you’re calling ‘little girl’! I’m not one with the girly hair now am I?” I growl at him.
My heart is racing. What the
fuck possessed me to do that? This could backfire horribly. Johnno actually takes me by surprise by genuinely looking shocked. I release his hair and pull my head back. I try smiling at him so that he realises that I, too, was joking. I nervously await his reaction and when a toothy smile finally appears I breathe a sigh of relief.
“You got me! You really had me going there!” He laughs loudly, shaking his head. Then it seems everyone else is laughing, too. “Alright this one can stay.” He smiles at Scar and then stands to pat me on the back before excusing himself to go to the bathroom.
“I think Johnno actually shit himself!” Ben calls out between howls of laughter.
“FUCK OFF! I’m taking a piss!” Johnno calls from the hallway.
After that, the ice is broken and I get introduced to the other guys sitting at the table.
Bianca
Seth took Johnno’s ribbing well, which surprised me, but what really shocked me was his retaliation. When he grabbed Johnno’s hair I thought he was actually angry and that I had totally misjudged him, again. But the grin that hit his face when he laughed it off as a joke had me smiling too.
The guys are all playing poker in the kitchen and I’m quietly sitting in the lounge by myself when Scar enters the room.
“Well, that was different,” Scar says, taking a seat next to me on the couch.
“What’s that?”
“Seth.”
“What about him?” I keep my head down and play with the label on my beer bottle, trying not to appear too interested in what she has to say.
“Who knew he was so funny?”
“Yeah.” I take another sip of my beer, avoiding her eyes that are drilling into me. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says with a shrug and looks away. I see her lips curl into a grin.