by Candis Terry
“You let her walk?”
Parker flinched at the irritation in Jordan’s tone that echoed throughout the kitchen at the main house. And yet he managed to match it with his own. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Oh I don’t know.” Jordan flung his hands up. “How about you realized what she’d been up against and held her in your arms so you didn’t come off as douchy as her dad?”
He’d wanted to hold her. He’d wanted to take away all the pain and heartache she’d been through in her life. But his own demons had stood in the way.
His mind had been reeling when she’d told him she loved him with such genuinely raw emotion. And yet, he hadn’t said it back. He hadn’t said a word that might have eased her pain.
What the hell was wrong with him?
He loved her. He knew he did. But at that moment, when she’d needed him the most, he hadn’t been able to say the words. He’d been so damned tangled up in the emotions of his own troubled past that he hadn’t known how to soothe the pain of hers.
He was a selfish fuck.
Because as she’d stood there looking at him, practically pleading with her eyes for some comfort, for forgiveness, he’d only been able to think that maybe he didn’t really know what love was all about. His parents had made everyone believe they’d loved each other, but it had been a façade. So maybe he really didn’t know how love felt. Or what it looked like. Maybe all he’d been feeling was lust and infatuation.
He’d needed time to himself. A moment to push away the avalanche of uncertainty and the mountain of stress he’d been under so he could think clearly. A moment where he could pull his head out of his ass and stop comparing the way he felt about Gabriella to anything or anyone else.
Well, he’d had that moment. And he was thinking clearly. And he hated himself for pushing her away. He hated that she’d needed him and he hadn’t been there for her.
“I’ll call her when I get home.”
Jordan speared him with a glare Parker was sure he’d once used against his opponent in the hockey arena. “Did you ever think it might be too late by then?”
Damn it. He hated when his brother was right.
“How do you not feel betrayed by what Mom and Dad did?” he asked honestly. “How does that not affect your life, Jordan? Because it sure as hell does mine. And how are you so sure that you’re in love when everything you thought was love was bullshit?”
“So. You want to condemn Gabriella for allowing her father’s behavior to control her actions and her destiny yet that’s exactly what you’re doing?” Jordan stepped back and shook his head. “You’re a fucking hypocrite, little brother.”
And . . . bam!
The truth smacked him between the eyes.
“Lucy’s the most important thing in the world to me.” Jordan dropped his hands onto his hips. “She’s the one who makes me feel like the man I want to be. The man I need to be. She believes in me. Believes I can do anything I want if I put my mind to it. She had a shitty past with someone who treated her like she didn’t matter and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making that up to her. Not because I have to. Because I want to. Because she’s my future. She’s the one who will bring me happiness for the rest of my days on this earth. So if you think I’m going to sit around and waste all that happiness with her on something I had nothing to do with and had no control over, you’re out of your fucking mind.”
“So I’m just supposed to let what happened with Mom and Dad go?”
“Absofuckinglutely. That was their problem, not yours. And it doesn’t mean that whatever they did should reflect in the way you live your own life. So get your shit together before you lose everything.” He punched Parker’s shoulder on his way toward the door. “And you’d better not fuck up my bride’s big day because you’re too busy feeling sorry for yourself.”
As soon as Jordan left the room, Parker rubbed his shoulder. Jordan was right. Hopefully getting Gabriella to forgive him wouldn’t be quite as painful.
“He stood up for me, Nonni. And then . . . he asked me to leave.”
“Oh, il miele. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to let your father know where you were. But he pushed and pushed.”
“I’m not blaming you, Nonni. I should have dealt with him years ago instead of hiding out. It was foolish of me.”
“Not foolish. You were Daddy’s little girl. And then he broke your heart. I know he’s my son, but he makes me so angry I could cry. He’s never apologized to you for his behavior, and he continues to make mistake after mistake without caring who is in his crossfire. He’s a selfish man who behaves like a selfish little boy.”
“I’m sorry, Nonni.” Gabriella rubbed the ache in her forehead. “I never realized how difficult all this must be for you. I never meant to put you in the middle.”
“Bambina, I am a strong woman. I love you. And as long as I’ve got breath in my body, I will always be here for you. No matter what. Capisci?”
“Capisco.” The ache in Gabi’s head traveled to her heart. She wished she could feel her grandmother’s arms wrapped around her right now. “I love you, Nonni. And thank you. I’ll never be able to repay you for your love and kindness.”
“You repay me by following your heart and being happy. So what will you do now?”
“I don’t know that there’s anything I can do.” Gabi shrugged even though her grandmother couldn’t see through the phone. “He told me he needed some time to think.”
“Stronzata! You’re just going to roll over and let the man you love walk away? I’m ashamed of you. Where’s the girl who worked day and night, who worked her fingers to the bone to educate herself so she could stand tall beside her peers? Where’s the little girl who used to tell me that she knew her prince was out there, and when she found him she’d never let him go?”
Gabi had forgotten those days when she’d been a little girl who believed life was like a storybook fairytale. She’d forgotten when she’d been a young woman who believed that sometimes the princess had to take the bull—aka the prince—by the horns, so their fairytale could come true. She’d forgotten the woman who believed that not every princess needed to be rescued. Sometimes she rescued herself. And sometimes she rescued the prince.
“I guess I can’t grab hold of the future if I don’t let go of the past, right?”
“Exactly.”
“What if he won’t listen to me?” Gabi took a breath. “What if he doesn’t even want to talk to me?”
Her nonni tsked. “Then you grab him by the face and you kiss him until he does.”
Gabi chuckled, even as she feared she may never have the opportunity to kiss him again.
“Do you trust him, Gabriella?”
She thought of all the opportunities he’d given her and the vulnerable way he opened himself up to her. Until the skeletons in her closet had rattled to life, he’d trusted her. She had to make him see that he could trust her again.
“I do.”
“Then make it right, la mia bambina.”
“I will, Nonni. I promise.”
Chapter 17
The Heathman Hotel was—in Gabi’s opinion—the most luxurious hotel in the downtown area. It housed one of the best restaurants as well. Which was exactly why her father chose to stay there when he traveled to Portland. As the doorman dressed in an English Beefeater costume pulled open the lobby door for her, she knew she was taking a big chance. She knew for security reasons, the hotel had strict rules about revealing information about their guests. But she had to give it a shot anyway.
Her heels clicked across the marble floor as she made her way to the registration desk, where she was met with a smile by a man in a well-fitted suit.
“Good evening, ma’am. How can I help you?”
“Good evening. I’m Gabriella Altobelli.” It felt strange to use her father’s surname after all these years. Especially since she’d had it legally deleted from her life. Still, she smiled and pulled out all the stops as she reached across the desk t
o shake the man’s hand. “I was supposed to meet my father, Chef Giovanni Altobelli, for a drink before dinner in your fine restaurant. But in my haste, I forgot to write down his room number. He’s not answering his phone, so I assume he’s discussing next week’s show with his producer.”
“Miss Altobelli!” The man grinned like they were old friends. “It’s so nice to meet you. But I’m sorry, it wouldn’t be acceptable to give out a room number. Client privacy is of the utmost importance to the Heathman.”
“I completely understand.” She cranked her smile up to gleaming and crossed her fingers. “And I’d never ask you to break the rules. I suppose I could sit down here and wait, but it’s been a long time since he and I have seen each other. I’d hate to waste any more time.”
An understatement if ever there was one.
“And I’d really love to surprise him.” She pulled a bottle of Sunshine Creek Vineyard’s wine, Shimmer, from her purse. A prop—or a bribe—she’d thought of before she left her apartment. “I even brought wine for the occasion.”
The man behind the desk looked at her, looked at the bottle, and looked at her again. A slow smile spread across his face. “Well, maybe I can help you out. Since there’s such a strong family resemblance I can tell you’re legit.”
Gabi really didn’t know if she should take that as a compliment. In the past years her father had aged. And not gracefully. Gabi chalked it up to living in the fast lane, being mean, and leaving so many broken hearts in his wake.
She choked out an appropriate response. “I’m told all daughters look like their fathers.”
“In this case, I’d have to agree.” He leaned in and quietly gave her the room number.
“Thank you so much.” Gabi settled her hand atop his on the counter. “I guarantee he’s really going to be surprised.”
Boy was he ever.
Standing in front of his door, she took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. Before she could chicken out, she knocked.
A minute later, the door swung open and her father stood there—in a hotel robe, for Pete’s sake—staring at her as though she’d ascended straight from hell.
“Hello, Father.” Without waiting for an invitation, she pushed past him and strolled into the large suite like she owned the place. She refused to cower any longer.
The hotel suite looked as though he’d been there awhile. A newspaper was spread out on the sofa. Utensils and a dinner tray from room service littered the desktop. The French press was half full with coffee. And several bottles of soda from the in-room snack bar sat empty on the coffee table.
Behind her he closed the door and turned with a bitter expression. “Come to beg for forgiveness?”
“Now why would I ever need your forgiveness?” She swallowed past the pounding of her heart in her throat. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”
His eyes narrowed. “Haven’t you?”
“Wait.” A laugh of utter disbelief burst from her lips. “Are you trying to tell me that you think you’ve been wronged? Oh. That’s a good one.”
“You turned against me, Gabriella.”
“You broke my heart, Father.”
For the first time in her life, Gabi had the courage to tell the man she’d once believed to be her hero, the man she’d once thought she could trust most in the world, exactly how she felt.
“You know, all I ever wanted was your love,” she said. “All I ever dreamed about was making you proud of me. I never wanted to be you. I never wanted the world you created. All I wanted was for my daddy to put his arms around me and promise that he’d make everything better. That our family meant the world to him and that he’d right his wrongs.”
“Gab—”
“Stop.” She held up her hand. “You’ve had years of opportunities to talk. You chose not to. Well it’s my turn now.”
“Go ahead. Spew your mother’s lies and influence all you want. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Oh, stop sounding like a petulant child.”
His eyes widened and his face turned red. She could see he was on the verge of a temper tantrum, but that was too damn bad.
“Thanks to you, other than a few strained conversations,” she said, “I haven’t spoken to my mother in a long time. Thanks to you and the horrible way you treated her, she wants nothing to do with me because I’m your daughter. So thanks to your lying, cheating, and in general not giving a shit about anything but your enormous ego and the little man in your pants, I lost my entire family.”
“Don’t be crass, Gabriella.”
“I’ll be any damn thing I want to be. I’m a grown woman. And I don’t need your fucking fatherly advice. Not now. You’re too damn late for that.”
When Gabi hoped she’d see a spark of regret in his eyes, a spark of pride or love, his lips tightened. If she’d had any love left in her heart for him, it died that very moment. He’d never change. He’d never love her the way a father should love a daughter.
“When you walked away, I lost everything except Nonni. She’s been my saving grace. My champion. She’s been the one person I knew I could count on when the rest of you acted like I don’t exist. It’s hard for me to believe that you even came from a wonderful person like her.”
“Wonderful?” He scoffed. “My mother also betrayed me when she took you under her wing.”
“Are you really that much of an egomaniac that you’d turn against your own mother because she chose to love your child?”
When he refused to respond, she knew the answer was yes.
“Unbelievable.” Gabi turned and took a breath to regain her composure.
What was she doing here?
What did she think coming here would really accomplish?
There was no doubt in her mind that her father had fallen so deep into the narcissistic well, he’d never find his way out. He didn’t care about her. He only cared that she’d embarrass him. Or that she’d attempt to bring down his empire. And she . . . didn’t have time for this. She didn’t need a man like him in her life. She needed a man she knew she could trust. A man she could love and who would love her back. A man she could rely on when times were tough. And a man she could stand beside when he needed her strength.
She needed Parker.
He may not be perfect, but he had a heart. And that was more than she could ever say about the man in front of her.
With a shake of her head, she walked to the door. Before she opened it she turned and searched for the man who’d once held her in his arms and called her his little princess. But that man was gone; he no longer existed.
“I want nothing from you,” she said. “Not now. Not ever. Despite your abandonment. Despite your hate, I grew up okay. I found happiness. And I’ll do whatever it takes to be the kind of person you never were. One who can hold her head high because she’s learned how to love unconditionally and always strives to be a better, more caring person.”
She grasped the door handle.
“Goodbye, Mr. Altobelli. I wish you well. But if you ever darken my door again, I promise I’ll have you arrested for harassment.”
Free of regret, free of his cruel, abusive words, and—finally—free of heart, she opened the door and walked out into the hallway.
When the elevator reached the lobby, Gabi strolled to the front desk. The man who’d helped her earlier looked up and smiled. “Did you have a nice visit with your father?”
“It was . . . unforgettable.” She pulled the bottle of wine from her purse and handed it to him. “Thank you so much for your help.”
He took the bottle and tilted his head. “I thought this was for a celebration.”
“It is.” She gave him a wink. “I’m just in the wrong place to start the party.”
Chapter 18
The following morning Parker felt bruised, beaten, and dirty, like he’d been run over by a herd of buffalo. Sleep had evaded him in the cold and lonely bed without Gabriella. To top things off, she’d left Basil the betta fish on his kitch
en counter. All night, the fish had swum around his circular bowl, blowing bubbles against the glass and looking at Parker like he was some kind of serial killer.
Parker had tried to call Gabriella but she didn’t pick up the phone. After he’d left several unanswered messages of “call me, we need to talk,” he realized apparently he was the only one who needed to talk. She’d already done a perfectly fine job of explaining things.
He just hadn’t been ready to listen.
Sunrise had seemed to take forever to break the horizon. By then Parker had been up for hours and was well on his way to his tenth cup of coffee. He’d finally grabbed a pair of slacks and jacket for the wedding rehearsal later tonight and headed toward the restaurant.
When he walked inside it seemed cold, and not because of the room temperature. Without Gabriella there the place seemed to have lost its heart and soul.
He felt the same.
Somehow he had to remain focused. His agenda for the day was grueling. Right now he couldn’t allow himself to think about what had happened yesterday, what might possibly happen in the future, or how badly he’d totally fucked up. No matter how desperately he wanted to talk to Gabriella, tonight and tomorrow belonged to Jordan and Lucy. He had to make sure the dinner and reception went off without a hitch. That the table settings were perfect and the food sang with flavor. Once the party and his responsibilities were over, he’d find Gabriella—no matter where he had to go or how far, he’d find her. He’d wrap her in his arms and apologize. Hell, he’d beg for forgiveness on his knees if that’s what it took.
Hopefully she’d give him the chance.
The day dragged by, swallowing up Gabriella and the guilt she carried for waiting until Parker left the restaurant to go in and assist with the rehearsal dinner preparations. She’d wanted to see him so badly, but the day belonged to Lucy and Jordan. She knew Parker would be too busy to deal with anything that had happened between him and her, but she’d promised to be there for him, to help with the dinner and reception, and so help she would. Unlike her parents, when Gabi made a promise, she took it to heart.