by Candis Terry
“Maybe we just met at the wrong time,” she suggested. “Maybe the universe is telling us we don’t fit.”
“Is that the way you really feel?” He hoped not. Because if he had to watch her walk away it would kill him.
“We both have a lot of baggage,” she said quietly. “Maybe it’s too much. Maybe I want more than I should. Maybe I expect more. Maybe I’m not any more ready for this than you are. I love you but . . . I don’t know.”
When she shrugged, Parker feared everything was slipping away.
Unable to wait a moment longer, he crossed the room and wrapped her in his arms. After a moment of resistance, she settled her cheek against his chest and her hands on his back.
It felt so damn good to hold her again.
“I can stand here all night trying to convince you that everything will always be perfect—that I’ll always be perfect,” he said. “But it would be a lie. Life isn’t perfect and I’m as far from perfect as you can get. We might have a lot of things to work on, but as long as we’re honest and we trust each other, I think we deserve a chance.”
She didn’t say anything and that made him worry even more.
“But that’s what I think,” he said. “What about you, Gabriella? What’s right for you?”
He wanted to shout that he was right for her. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind. But right now they had to tear down this damn wall between them before they could go any further. She had to believe in him, and right now, he was pretty damn sure she didn’t.
Judging from the way things went down yesterday, who could blame her?
The clang of a cooking pot startled them apart.
Without an answer, she backed up and glanced away. “I . . . have to go.”
Before he could stop her, she reached for the door.
“Gabriella?”
Without a word or a backward glance, she walked out. In her wake the ache in his chest nearly exploded.
What the hell just happened?
Dragging a hand through his hair, he replayed the conversation in his mind.
Fuck.
How could he be so stupid?
He hadn’t thanked her for making the restaurant so beautiful for Jordan and Lucy’s party.
But as bad as that was, he knew it wasn’t the reason she’d left.
She’d been waiting for him to tell her how he felt about her. She’d been looking for reassurance that her feelings weren’t one-sided. She’d been looking for some kind of life preserver in the flood of emotional upheaval she’d been drowning in.
After all she’d been through, she’d been brave enough, amazing enough, to tell him she’d fallen in love with him.
Twice.
And he hadn’t said a goddamn word.
He needed someone to bash him over the head. Because when a woman gave you her heart, you did not just tell her “let’s come back to that” without fucking coming back to that.
By the time Parker opened his office door to find Gabriella and right that wrong, the staff was scurrying about making things happen, and Gabriella was gone. He started to go after her, and it took him a moment to recover before he realized he had obligations. He couldn’t disappear to find her, even though he wanted to. His entire family was waiting for him. He felt absolutely torn as he pulled himself together, tossed a few instructions to the crew, and headed toward the stainless door to go back out and rejoin the party.
Even if it was the last thing he felt like doing.
When he gave the door a push, it met with resistance. He pushed harder and it flew open. On the other side, people scrambled to get back to their seats and act like they hadn’t just had their ears pressed to the door listening to what was going on on the other side. If Parker didn’t feel like dying right now he’d laugh. Instead he disregarded the curious stares his family shot in his direction as he walked over to the bride-to-be.
“I have a favor to ask you,” he whispered close to her ear.
Lucy looked up and smiled as though she already knew what he was about to say.
“After you’ve given us such a beautiful dinner in such a beautiful venue, how can I refuse? What do you need, Parker?”
“I need you to make sure Gabriella is at your wedding tomorrow.”
He’d give the woman he loved tonight, but there was no way in hell he’d let her walk out of his life forever.
Chapter 19
When Gabriella entered the little white country church the next day, she felt like a fifth wheel. She hadn’t known Jordan and Lucy long enough to have been on their wedding invitation list, but when Lucy called late last night gushing about the amazing touches Gabi had put on the rehearsal dinner and begging her to come to the wedding, Gabi had been unable to refuse.
She’d spent the rest of the night thinking about what Parker had said, but mostly what he hadn’t said.
She’d been a fool for telling him she’d fallen in love with him when he clearly didn’t feel the same way. Even after his pep talk about trusting each other and that they deserved a chance, he’d given her no response to her declaration. And he’d let her walk away.
The hours between midnight and morning had been sleepless, and it had taken half a bottle of eye drops to get the red out. But this was a special day for the Kincade family. For Gabi’s new friends. It was no place for personal issues. This was a day for celebration. For love and hope. For the marriage of two incredibly nice people.
Even if her own heart was breaking.
She waited in her car until the last possible minute to slip into the church. The sign at the back of the church welcomed the guests and asked them to choose a seat, not a side. Gabi found a place at the end of a pew near the back where two elderly couples seemed more interested in what flavor of cake would be served than the actual wedding. She could have let them know the cake would be a delicious triple layer red velvet, but her goal was to remain as inconspicuous as possible.
Soft violin music played while guests awaited the arrival of the wedding party and Gabi took the moment to enjoy the atmosphere. The little church displayed a variety of pine boughs, poinsettias, white roses, lace, and sparkles. As beautiful and elegant as everything looked, it was understated in a way the bride preferred.
When the pianist on the side of the altar began to play “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella, Gabi smiled. Jordan had managed to find a way to honor his very own princess without going overboard.
From a side door on the right, Jordan came into the church followed by his brothers. Though Gabi tried not to look at Parker, she couldn’t stop herself. In his black tux and bow tie, he stole her breath. Gabi commanded her heart to slow down, but just looking at him made it take up a mind all its own. When his gaze started to wander across the guest-filled pews, she looked away. She couldn’t make eye contact and expect to remain composed.
She just couldn’t.
Knowing she was a complete crybaby at weddings, she removed a tissue from her purse and clutched it in her hand. A moment later the bridesmaids began their walk up the aisle. Nicole came first in a long dove gray simply cut dress. Since Lucy wasn’t the fancy over-the-top kind, Gabi was interested to see what kind of gown she’d chosen. In anticipation, Gabi kept her eyes glued to the center aisle, just in case they tried to wander back to the altar and the devastatingly handsome groomsman second from the end.
When the first strains of the bridal chorus began everyone stood, and Gabi was thankful that the subdued blue dress she’d chosen to wear blended in with the crowd.
In the doorway, Lucy appeared on the arm of Ryan, the oldest Kincade brother, and everyone else might as well have been invisible. The moment Jordan saw his bride with the winter sun glowing at her back, he grinned. And then he teared up. As he looked at Lucy he seemed gentle as a kitten and so in love that Gabi could practically hear his heart pounding.
In a surprisingly sexy fitted gown of Chantilly lace with a slit up the front and a bare back, Lucy was stunning. Her brow
n hair had been pulled back in a low messy bun with a few white roses tucked here and there. Her bouquet was a magnificent surprise. The white flowers were actually feathers made to appear like ruffled peonies. But no matter how breathtaking the bride looked, nothing could come close to the beauty of the smile she wore for her groom as she slowly made her way up the aisle.
Gabi’s heart skipped.
Oh, to have a love like theirs.
She chanced a peek at Parker and he was looking right back. Somehow he’d found her in the crowd. She tried to smile, but the quiver of her lips probably made her look like some kind of lopsided jack-o’-lantern.
When the minister asked everyone to be seated, Jordan took Lucy’s hand and kissed the backs of her fingers. The vows they’d personally written were sweet, tender, and often funny. Before long they were pronounced husband and wife and Jordan was told he could kiss his bride. The kiss started out sweet, but Jordan quickly leaned Lucy back over his arm and gave her a taste of what the honeymoon would be all about. The guests chuckled at his exuberance. They were still chuckling when “The Wedding March” began and the bride and groom headed back up the aisle.
At the moment the rest of the bridal party started up the aisle, Gabi realized she was trapped. Any second Parker would walk by. Would he be waiting for her outside the church? Or would he ignore she was even there? Panic set in, but it was too late for a quick getaway. She’d have to wait for the bridal party to pass before she found another way out.
Parker, with Lili on his arm, came up the aisle with his eyes locked on Gabi. She crumpled the damp tissue in her hand and scanned the room again for an escape route.
“Don’t even think about it.” Parker reached out, grabbed her by the hand, pulled her to his side, and held her tight so she had no choice but to walk out of the church with him and Lili.
Once they reached the steps outside, and Gabi saw that the crowd had begun to gather around the new Mr. and Mrs. Jordan Kincade, she thought she’d found her diversion. She attempted to slip her hand from Parker’s grip but he held on tight and looked her right in the eye.
“Not a chance, Houdini.”
Before she could argue he was pulling her away from the front of the church. Her heels wobbled in the snow-covered grass but he didn’t stop until they were at the rear of the building. Alone.
He pressed her back against the white clapboard wall and leaned in close. Her heart pounded so hard beneath the long-sleeved dress she was sure he could feel it against his tuxedo-covered chest.
“Parker—”
“I love you, Gabriella.”
“What?”
“I love you,” he repeated. “I’m crazy about you. I can’t live without you. And I want a new start. An honest start.”
“But . . .” He’d totally caught her off guard. She’d expected nothing from him today.
“I want to show you that I’m a man you can trust. A man who will be there for you, loving you whether you’re young and beautiful, ill, or old and taking your last breath. I want to be the man you know you can come to for anything at any time. I will never, ever stop loving you for any reason. And by the way, I think we met at the perfect time.”
“Parker, I . . .”
“Don’t say no, Gabriella. Give us a chance. Please.” He framed her face with his hands and kissed her so sweetly it nearly shattered her heart.
When he raised his head, his thumb gently swept her bottom lip. “You can trust me, baby. I promise you that everything I said is true.”
“I was going to say . . . I love you, Parker Kincade.” She curled her arms around his neck and he lowered his forehead to hers. A sigh lifted his chest. And for the first time in her life, Gabi felt truly loved by a man she knew she could trust. She felt safe. And she felt hopeful. “And I will never tell you no.”
He kissed her again and she could taste the promise on his lips.
“Will you come to the reception with me?”
“Yes.”
“Will you dance with me?”
She chuckled. “Yes.”
“And will you wake up in my bed on Christmas morning?”
“Oh yes I will.”
A gentle snow fell over the Columbia River on Christmas morning and the dock in front of Parker’s houseboat was covered in white. In the corner of the living room the tree glowed with brightly colored lights and the fireplace roared. From the oven, the warm aroma of pumpkin spice muffins wafted through the air. In his bowl, Basil blew bubbles from behind his plastic foliage. And on the floor in front of the fire, Parker held out the silver foil and pink ribbon wrapped present he’d gotten for Gabriella.
“For me?” She blushed as she took the box, held it to her ear, and shook it. “Is it an elephant?”
“Smaller.”
“Is it a puppy?”
“Smaller.”
“Is it a—”
Parker laughed and kissed her hard. “Just open the present and find out.”
“Okay. But first . . .” She reached beneath the tree and pulled out a blue foil wrapped package with a red ribbon. “The color matches your eyes.”
“This is for me?”
She nodded. “Basil didn’t like it so I figured I’d just give it to you.”
“Thank you, Basil.” Parker hadn’t felt this happy on Christmas morning since he was a kid. Everything was perfect. Jordan and Lucy’s wedding reception had gone off without a hitch. Parker had managed to talk Gabriella into helping him do some Christmas shopping for his family. And ever since the wedding, she’d spent the night in his bed, wrapped around him like she’d never let go.
They’d spent hours talking. He learned she’d visited her father and finally had her say. She seemed resigned that he’d never come around and be the father she’d always dreamed he would be, but Parker was going to hold out hope. He believed that as long as a person had breath in their body, they could still make changes in their life.
God knows he had.
“How about we both open our presents at the same time?”
Her childlike exuberance tickled his heart. Parker kissed her again. “How can I ever say no to you?”
“You can’t.” She pulled her present closer. Her hands hovered over the ribbon. “Ready?”
“Set. Go.”
They each ripped off the ribbon and tore into the paper. The box lids flew and the tissue was pushed aside. They both held up a cooking apron. His was green and said “Hot Stuff Coming Through.” Hers was white with ruffles and a blue checkered border like Alice in Wonderland and said “Eat Me.”
“Great minds think alike?” he asked, hoping she found the gift funny.
“You know what I’m thinking, right?”
He shook his head.
“I’m thinking whenever I cook in your kitchen, I’ll be wearing this. And only this.”
“I do love the way your mind works.” Relieved that she liked the gift, he leaned in and kissed her.
“This is our first Christmas together.” She sighed. “And I’m having so much fun.”
“So you’re not disappointed with the apron?”
“No.” She hugged it to her chest. “I love it.”
“There’s something in the pocket.”
“It has a pocket?” She held up the material. “I love pockets.”
Parker watched her reach inside and pull out the small white box.
Her eyes widened. “What is it?”
“Open it and find out.”
Her hands trembled as she lifted the lid and pulled out the silver bracelet. The charms jingled as it came out of the box.
“Oh, Parker.”
“I love it when you say my name all sexy like that.”
She leaned in and kissed him. “It’s beautiful.”
She laid the bracelet out in her palm.
“Each one of those charms makes me think of you.”
“You designed this?”
“Of course.”
“But I didn’t think you liked to
shop.”
“I don’t. But everything is different with you.” He took the bracelet and held it up, pointing out the charms. “A fish for Basil. A heart for how much you care about the women and children’s shelter. And me. A lion for the courage you showed standing up to your father. A frog prince because you changed me from a toad.”
She chuckled.
“A castle where you can build your dreams. An angel because you rescued me from becoming a grumpy old man. A chili pepper because you’re hot stuff. A spoon because you’re always stirring up something good.”
He received another laugh for that.
“And a star because wherever you are in the universe is where I want to be. I want this life to be ours. I think of the restaurant as ours. When I look into the future I want us to be together, blissfully married, with children, and a dog. And I promise that every day I will do everything I can to make you happy. How does that sound to you?”
When he looked up her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and she had tears in her eyes.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “That sounds wonderful. I love you, Parker.”
“I love you more.” He wrapped her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. “And you can completely trust me on that. Merry Christmas.”
Nonni’s Ricotta Cheese Cookies with Lemon Icing
Cookies
Ingredients:
2 cups sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1 container (15 ounces) ricotta cheese
2 teaspoons almond extract
2 large eggs
4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
With mixer on low speed, in large bowl, beat sugar and butter until well blended.
Increase mixer speed to high, then beat mix until light and fluffy.
With mixer on medium speed, beat in ricotta, almond extract, and eggs until well blended.