The Price We Pay

by Alora Kate

  It was busy outside as I made my way home through the park. I figured it was because the weather was perfect, the sun was out, and it was Mother’s Day. I called my mom, the one who adopted Jaxon and me, and we talked for a few minutes before she left for church this morning.

  I got home and drank half a bottle of water and applied some fresh deodorant before going to my office. I had a small one-bedroom house, and Jaxon helped me convert the one stall garage into my office since I didn’t have a car. I turned the lights on, then the AC. By the time the computer was up and running there was a knock on the side door, which was the only way into the garage beside from inside my house.

  “It’s open!” I yelled making sure he heard me. I knew it was Edgar. He was my cousin on my mom’s side but wasn’t that close to the family anymore because of his lifestyle.

  “Hey, Cuz,” he said stepping into the space and shutting the door behind him. He was wearing ripped up blue jeans that had seen better days and a gray t-shirt that was too big for him. Plus, it was stained. I could only hope he put deodorant on. He sat in the chair on the other side of my desk and started bouncing his knee.

  I sat forward, with my hands folded on my desk. “Edgar,” I greeted him, glancing over his scarred face. His sunken cheeks and the dark bags under his eyes were worse than the last time I saw him.

  “I need your help,” he finally said.

  “You ready for rehab?”

  He cracked a small smile and ignored my question. “I lost something.”

  I grabbed my pencil. “What?”

  He glanced around the room nervously. It was so bad, I almost started to check my space out to make sure we were alone. “Edgar honey, it’s just us.”

  He started picking at his arm. “I lost like, shit…maybe like…” he leaned forward, and dropped his voice, “I lost my drugs.”

  I sat my pencil down. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You want me to find your drugs?”

  “You’re like, a private investigator.”

  “For real cases, Edgar.” I set my pencil down. “Not to find your drugs so you can get high. Seriously dude,” I sat back in my chair, “not cool.”

  “I’m in trouble,” he hissed.

  “Trust me I know, and when I tell Jaxon about this crap you’ll be getting a visit.”

  “Jesus, Laken! Not my drugs!”

  I sat forward again. “Did you steal someone’s drugs?”

  “No! I was um, transporting them.”

  “More. Tell me everything,” I tossed my hands in the air out of frustration, “or I’m out.”

  “My job. Transporting. Get them from my boss, deliver them, collect money, return money to my boss.”

  “And they pay you?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  I had to stay calm; after all, he was family. “Do you know how much you make your mother cry?”

  “Don’t start this shit with me,” he warned and I kept on.

  “Every time we get together, she’s crying because you’re the only kid in the family that doesn’t show up. Every single time she comes over to the house, she stands at the window, praying and hoping for her son to come. I imagine she does that every day in the house you grew up in.”

  “I’m not here to talk about my mom,” he spewed.

  “I am! She hasn’t seen you in years. She’s lost weight stressing over you. She almost lost her job last year but got her shit together enough to keep it.”

  “I don’t have time to listen to this shit,” he hissed, standing and leaning over the desk. “They’re gonna kill me.”

  “The drugs are killing you!”

  He slammed his hands on the desk and I jumped back. “Get the fuck out.” I pointed to the door. “I don’t need this shit in my life. I don’t go looking for drugs. I can’t believe you thought I’d help you conduct illegal activities.”

  “I’m sorry Laken, but I ain’t ready to die yet.”

  “You’re snorting shit up your nose, you’re injecting shit into your arms, so why should I believe you?”

  He ran his hands through his greasy hair and started pacing like a caged up animal. The space was small and I only had the one small window on the door.

  “If you help me, I’ll try.”

  “Try?” I questioned.

  “Rehab.”

  “How can I trust you? After all these years, the lies and shit you’ve done to your family…”

  “Fuck, Laken.” He sat back down and dropped his head in his hands. “It’s hard,” he muttered. “This shit is my life. My whole life. It sticks to you. It won’t let you go. It won’t let me go!”

  I rounded my desk and kneeled next to him. “It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but if you keep going down this road, the next time your mother sees you it will be at your funeral. Do you want to do that to your mom?”

  He shook his head no. I really didn’t want to touch him but I patted his shoulder lightly.

  “Okay then.”

  He looked up at me while I went back to my chair. I grabbed my pencil and notebook.

  “Do I get the family discount?” he joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

  “Go to rehab and we’re even.”

  “I need help.”

  “Your mom will help. So will the rest of the family.” I shook my pencil. “Let me get the information about these drugs and then we’ll call your mom.”

  We talked for about thirty minutes. He gave me names, addresses, and locations that didn’t have addresses. He knew a lot about the operation these people were running. It was some motorcycle club in town and sounded like it was way out of my league. I wasn’t stupid. This situation and conversation were super uncomfortable for me. I did not what the challenge of this assignment. I wanted nothing to do with it. Edgar really got himself into some shit and I wasn’t going down this road. He didn’t need to know that, though.

  Gabe called yesterday and asked to meet up. I wasn’t sure why but I was thankful he was coming to see me. I’d give the information to him and let him run with it. He was like Jaxon, an older brother and always looking out for me.

  “Thank you, Laken.” I gave Edgar a hug and walked him out.

  “Call your mom,” I reminded him.

  “I will.”

  “Today,” I stressed. He turned around and gave me another hug. “Then get your ass into rehab.” I broke our hug. “You should take a shower first, though.” I smiled at him to ease the truth behind my joke.

  He smiled. “Thanks.” It was the last thing he’d ever say. The last time he would smile. I heard the gunshot pierce my ears, I saw his smile fade away, his body jerked, and he fell to his knees. Another shot, and I went down. I wasn’t sure if I was actually shot or if it was just me trying to protect myself. Edgar was still on his knees, the blood spreading through and soaking his shirt. He tried to talk and ended up choking on his own blood. I wasn’t sure where the shots came from. I saw nothing. My attention was on Edgar the whole time.

  I’ve never seen anyone shot before, let alone watch them die.

  And that’s what Edgar was doing.

  He was dying.

  He started to fall forward, and I caught him and cradled him in my arms. “Edgar honey,” I cried, “I’m so sorry.”

  “Mom,” he choked again and I nodded at him as the tears ran down my face.

  “I’ll tell her Edgar, I promise.”

  I watched his light fade, his eyes darken, and his chest fell for the last time. I closed his eyes lids and pulled him close. He started getting heavier the longer I held him, crying. I wanted to scream and yell but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to leave him.

  The sirens rang out, getting louder the closer they came. I heard voices and possibly saw people gathering around, but I just sat there crying. Edgar was a fuck up but he didn’t deserve to die. I believe him when he said he was going to get help. I’d have to tell his mom that. I’ll tell her he died saving my life
and that he was going to get help, get clean and sober.

  “I need my phone.”

  “Ma’am, I need you to let go,” a male voice said.

  “He’s gone.”

  “Ma’am, please let me do my job.”

  I let Edgar go. They put him on his back and started working on him. It was useless but maybe it was protocol.

  “Ma’am, I need to check you over,” a police officer said. He helped me to my feet and moved me a few feet away. “Were you shot?”

  “I don’t know.” I wiped my face with the back of my hand and noticed the blood on it.

  “Can you lift your shirt for me, show me you’re not bleeding.”

  I lifted my shirt up and watched them put Edgar on the gurney, then pull out a white sheet. In slow motion, they opened up the sheet and shook it out in the air. It slowly fell, covering his body and they pushed him towards the ambulance.

  “You weren’t shot,” he said and some commotion alongside my house grabbed his attention. I heard men arguing so I followed him. Clearing the trees that separated my house from the neighbor, I saw who was making the fuss.

  Gabe.

  “Gabe,” I cried out. Gabe was twice his size so it was easy for him to shove passed the officer that was trying to hold him back.

  He rushed to me. “Are you hurt?” he asked looking me over.

  “It’s not my blood.”

  He tried to hug me and I pushed him away. “Don’t.”

  He put his hands on his hips. “What happened?”

  “He’s dead.”

  “Who?”

  “Edgar.”

  “Your cousin?”

  I nodded. “I need to call his mom.”

  “Okay sweetheart, but let’s get you cleaned up first.”

  “We need to take pictures,” an officer said coming to stand by Gabe. “We also need to collect some DNA and fingerprints. We’ll make it quick and then you can shower.”

  I nodded again.

  “I know this is hard ma’am, but we’ll also need your statement.”

  “After she gets cleaned up,” Gabe snapped at him.

  The world faded in and out as the police officer did what he needed to do, Gabe never leaving my side.

  Pacer

  “Where is she?” I asked the man who answered her door. Laken left my house about four hours ago and when she didn’t return my text messages, I drove over here to check on her. There was crime scene tape around her driveway blocking it off and a few police officers lingering around her yard. The only reason they let me through was because one of them recognized me and asked if I’d sign his hat. I did and he let me in.

  “Who the fuck are you?”

  “I’m with Laken.”

  “She’s not seeing anyone.”

  One, two, three…

  Stay calm.

  We were the same size so it might not be an easy takedown, but knowing I’d get to Laken sooner would give me the added strength I’d need to take him down.

  “She’s seeing me,” I told him, trying to get passed him.

  “You look familiar,” he said rubbing his chin, looking me over from head to toe. “They weren’t supposed to let anyone in unless they were family.”

  “I’m family.”

  The brute laughed, “I’m more her family than you are.”

  “Laken!” I yelled into the house over his shoulder.

  “Nice one, asshole.” He stepped aside, I pushed passed him and two seconds later, she came into the room and ran towards me. I grabbed her when she jumped into my arms and she started crying.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Maybe she is seeing someone,” I heard the man mutter behind me.

  “I didn’t do anything,” she sobbed into my shirt.

  “Okay, honey,” I said trying to calm her down, rubbing her back.

  “I just held him.” She pulled back and looked at me. Her eyes were red and swollen. “I didn’t even try to save him.”

  “Save who?”

  “Her cousin,” the man said and I turned around to face him, while Laken put her feet to the floor. She slipped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my side. He kept talking, “Drive by shooting.”

  “Christ, in this neighborhood?”

  He nodded.

  “I should have done something,” she started crying hysterically. “Edgar. I just held him while he died. Blood. Oh God, there was so much blood.”

  I pulled her back into me and held her tight.

  “The police are done with her, but they might be outside awhile longer,” he told me and I wasn’t sure if he was hinting at something but I knew she wasn’t going to stay here. I was confused, had more questions but I just had to be supportive right now.

  “I’ll take her home.”

  “Home?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

  “My home. She was just there this morning. I tried to get her to stay but she said she had to work.”

  “Well, as much as I’d like to talk to her,” he said, “I think I’ll wait until tomorrow.”

  Laken pulled away from me and hugged the man. “I’m so sorry, Gabe.”

  Gabe.

  One, two, three …

  “You did nothing wrong sweetheart.” He hugged her back, and even though I wasn’t intimidated, I was a bit angry he was hugging her so tight. She’s not mentioned this man before and she didn’t tell me anything about him this morning.

  My hand started to shake.

  He looked up at me, caught my eye, and winked. “Laken sweetheart, why don’t you pack a bag and go home with your friend.”

  She nodded and walked out of the room like a zombie.

  He came to me, and I automatically went to defend myself when he wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t worry dude, I’m way more attracted to you than I am to her.”

  I froze.

  One, Two, Three …

  He laughed and asked for my number so he could check up on Laken later and talk to her about the meeting they were supposed to have.

  I rambled off the number, totally out of my comfort zone.

  What the fuck just happened?

  He winked at me before he left, and I went and found Laken in her room. Her house was tiny compared to mine. I knew it was small from the outside but being inside, it felt even smaller. Not enough room. Too tight. I stood in the doorway of her room and could see into the bathroom at the same time. She didn’t even have a tub. I looked back into the room. “Need help?” I choked out feeling my throat start too close up.

  The tremble in my hand got worse and I made a fist.

  “This should be enough,” she slung her bag over her shoulder, “I need to grab my laptop from my office.”

  One, two, three…

  I knew the office was in the garage, and the space was even smaller.

  I needed air.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  The walls started closing in.

  Focus Pace, focus.

  One, two, three…

  I took a deep breath in and Laken cocked her head at me. “You okay?”

  “I need to get outside.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked while I stormed outside.

  Tunnel vision hit me hard, and the only thing I could see was her mailbox. The world started to feel like it was closing in on me. I shook my head, pinched the bridge of my nose, and took a deep breath in.

  I raised my hands above my head, stretched out my torso and took another breath in and out. After a few seconds, I dropped my hands to my waist and shook off the queasiness. Laken needed me, not some weak ass man that couldn’t keep his shit together.

  “I got it.” I heard her say and I twisted my head to her and smiled through my lingering tension. The smile she gave me was fake, and I grabbed her bag and laptop from her. There were only two officers left in her yard as I walked her to my truck that was parked halfway down the street on the opposite side. She lived in a nice neighborhood where ever
yone kept their yard green and freshly cut. She had the smallest house on the block, but she kept it looking nice and clean.

  “I called his mom just before you got here,” she said buckling up. “I told her he saved my life. We had just made a deal that he’d go to rehab if I helped him with his missing loot. I wasn’t going to actually help him, though; I was going to have Gabe help me.”

  I started the truck and pulled away from the curb. “So this Gabe guy … She nodded briefly, so I rushed out my next question, “Is he gay?”

  That got her to laugh. “Yes. He’s also my mentor. Helped me get my business started because Jaxon had just taken the undercover job. The one he’s still doing that I shouldn’t be telling you about but for some reason, I trust you and just can’t keep my mouth shut around you.” She let out a sigh and rested her head on the back of the seat. “Anyway, I ran into Gabe on my first assignment and we just hit it off. He’s been helping me since.”

  I forced myself to say it, “He hugged me.”

  She laughed again. “That’s Gabe. Friendly.”

  “A little too friendly.”

  “Don’t worry, he’s got a man.”

  “Good to know.”

  I’m glad she trusted me even though she barely knew me. It meant a lot to me. If anything comes up, I’ll act stupid and pretend I know nothing.

  I headed back towards my house but stopped at the liquor store on the way home. She eyed me as I jumped out of the truck. I grabbed her favorite beer and some random bottles of the harder stuff and put them in the back seat.

  I didn’t count my steps into the store but I made sure I had an even amount of items.

  “You don’t have to get me drunk to take advantage of me,” she murmured when I got back in the truck.

  I gave her a quick smile. “I know, babe.”

  “I would have called you.”

  I pulled out of the parking lot and got stuck at a red light immediately. “What are you talking about?”

  “Everything happened too fast today and I was going to call you after the detectives left.”

  “You went through something very traumatic, it’s okay.”