by Rashad Salim
My heart rate had sped up when I realised the phone call was from her. But now I was deflated. It annoyed me that the only reason she had even called me was about her brother.
I started wondering about her and Tyrone again. I had been an even bigger fool than I first thought.
28
Sajid asked me if I wanted to be dropped off near the station but I wanted to see Chantelle first so we headed there instead.
It was past nine o’ clock in the evening and I wondered if it was too late to see her but she said it was fine.
“Listen, bro,” I said. “I just wanted to thank you for everything, asking around for me and all that shit.”
“Don’t watch that, bre. Anytime.”
“No,” I said. “I mean it. I’d never have got that info about the Red Crew without you.”
He smiled. “This is the most fun I’ve had in ages.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it fun,” I said, recalling the death threat and how I had been abducted and almost killed by Defenders of Islam.
A week ago I never would’ve dreamed I’d be willingly pestering gangsters and religious fundamentalists. Now, after Bestco had been attacked and Mark had been killed, I was anticipating horrors all the time.
We reached Chantelle’s flat and Sajid pulled the car over to the kerb.
“Since you’ve been back there hasn’t been a dull moment,” Sajid said, smiling.
I looked at him in disbelief that he found this nightmare exciting.
“Why you think I been helping you all this time?” he asked. “Yeah I wanna help out my brother but this is big for me too. You think it’s been easy for me these last few years? I’ve been bored to death!”
“Well I’m glad someone’s suffering has brought you some kind of relief.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “We’re in this together, okay?”
I nodded and couldn’t help but smile at his reassurance. That was one thing about Sajid I loved the most – it didn’t matter what kind of shit he was in or what was going on around him, he never ran away from problems. Unlike me.
“Alright, take care now,” he said, as I got out of the car.
I turned to face Chantelle’s flat as he drove off.
My phone rang and when I pulled it out I saw it was Seema calling me. I cursed and switched off my phone. I was about to walk to Chantelle’s entrance when I heard some footsteps behind me.
Before I could turn around I was struck in the back hard. I fell to the ground on my hands and knees. The pain shot throughout my body and I winced. I felt someone kick me in the sides when I was down and fell on my back. When I looked up I saw three men standing over me. It might have been dark but I recognised them instantly.
Anil, Rishi and Vinod.
“What the fuck?” I managed to wheeze. I sat up and looked at my attackers.
I had been hit so hard it hurt to talk. It even hurt to breathe.
Anil held a phone in his hand and I realised it was Seema’s.
He knew about the nude photo his wife had sent me and the booty call.
“I told you to stay the fuck away from my wife, didn’t I?”
Before I could say anything he kicked me in the face hard. His boot connected with my left cheek and I fell flat on my back. My head banged the ground hard. If I hadn’t managed to look away in the split second before he connected it would’ve been my mouth or nose that took the full force of the kick. It still hurt like hell and I closed my eyes.
I wondered if there was anyone else around on the street, any passersby who had seen me being attacked. I didn’t expect anyone to intervene but I hoped the presence of witnesses would deter Anil and his cronies from beating me any further.
I felt myself being pulled up as I struggled to breath and when I opened my eyes wide I saw Anil in front of me. Rishi and Vinod stood on my left and right, holding me up by my arms.
“Think you can fuck my wife and get away with it?” Anil spat out. He waited until I caught my breath.
“I never fucked her.”
He stared at me in disgust. I wanted him to believe me but knew he wouldn’t.
“...Well, not since you married her.” I honestly thought that would make it better.
He punched me hard in the stomach. I felt my knees go weak and doubled over. I would’ve fallen on my face if Rishi and Vinod weren’t holding me up.
“I told you what would happen if you stayed, didn’t I?” Anil said. “But like the dumb fuck that you are, you didn’t listen.”
I didn’t fully understand what he was saying at first. Then it sank in.
Anil had sent me the death threat.
The note had nothing to do with me being nosy about the arson. It was about the inappropriate contact I had with another man’s woman. I suddenly felt very stupid for suspecting local gangsters of being responsible for the note.
Rishi grabbed me by the hair and pulled my head back up so Anil could look me in the eye.
Anil kept his eyes on mine and was reaching for something in his back pocket. It could’ve been a knife but I never found out because he suddenly stopped. He looked to his side and his face fell.
Rishi let go of my head and I managed to turn and see what had caught Anil’s attention. It wasn’t any passersby.
It was Sajid.
And he held a gun that was aimed at Anil.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. For a second I thought I was imagining it. The gun took me by surprise as much as his sudden appearance. In my pain I hadn’t even heard him drive back towards us.
I never knew Sajid owned a gun. He had never mentioned it. It dawned on me I had been driving around with him for the last few days while he had been armed.
“Don’t fucking move,” Sajid said to Anil. His voice was as steady as his aim. “You alright there, bre?” he said to me without breaking eye contact with Anil.
Rishi and Vinod let go of me and I struggled to stand up straight.
Anil scowled and looked back and forth between me and Sajid like this reversal of fortune was somehow unfair to him.
I pulled out the death threat from my pocket. “Did you post this to my parent’s house?”
Anil narrowed his eyes at me and puffed out his chest in defiance.
I walked up to him and sensed Rishi and Vinod shift behind me. Sajid aimed the gun at them.
“What if my mum opened up that envelope?” I asked Anil.
Anil puffed up his chest a little more. “Then you could tell her yourself what you were doing with someone’s wife.”
I nodded but my anger had risen to the point where I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I kicked him in the groin hard. He clutched his balls and fell over, moaning in pain.
Sajid must’ve seen Anil’s henchmen make a move behind me because he moved closer to them with the gun still aimed.
I looked at Anil grabbing his groin, wincing in pain and I wanted to give him a beat down he’d never forget. It had been a long time coming and he would deserve it. But instead I stepped back.
I was angry at him about the death threat and for attacking me with his cronies but as much as I wanted to kick the shit out of him I saw where he was coming from. I’d have probably reacted the same way if I believed some guy had fucked my wife.
“You and your fucking wife better stay out of my way,” I told Anil.
He was still reeling in pain.
“You hear me?”
I crouched down and grabbed him by the throat with both hands and shook him back and forth.
“I catch you or your boys following me again and I’ll kill your fucking ass,” I said and let go of him.
He nodded.
I got up and stood beside Sajid. I watched Anil get up and stagger as his two friends helped him walk towards their car. Sajid kept the gun aimed at them the whole time.
Rishi looked back and glared at us before he got into the driver’s seat. He had shown no fear at all. I wanted to shoot him more than Anil.
Sajid a
nd I watched them drive away in silence.
“Uh oh,” he said when they were out of sight.
I turned to see what he was looking at and sighed.
Around forty feet away, Chantelle stood outside her front door and watched us.
I wondered how long she had been standing there and how much she had seen. I looked back at Sajid. He shoved the gun down the back of his jeans.
“I’ve never been so glad to see you, bre,” I said and hugged him. He laughed and I pulled away. “Where the fuck did you get that from?”
He smiled that mischievous smile he often did when he was caught doing something naughty.
“Ah, don’t watch that,” he said.
“I never knew you had a fucking gun, man,” I said and looked around for witnesses.
Nobody else was around except for Chantelle.
Sajid laughed again. “But I bet you’re glad I had it, eh?”
I was grateful to him for rescuing me and knew it wouldn’t have happened without the gun but it bothered me. I wanted to discuss it but now wasn’t the right time so I changed the subject.
“I gotta go, bre,” I said and shook his hand.
“You gonna be okay?” he asked. “You should see your face. You look fucked.”
My face felt numb and my sides still hurt from being kicked but I thought I’d get over it.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” I was about to turn away when he grabbed my arm.
“Hang on,” he said. “I need my keys back.”
I looked at him in confusion.
“The shop keys,” he said. “Remember I gave them to you to hold when I was sorting out the car?”
It had slipped my mind but now I remembered.
“Fucking hell.”
I had put the keys in my pocket while on the phone to Chantelle and forgot to give them back to Sajid when he got into the car.
I pulled out the keys and handed them to him. “That’s why you came back?”
He laughed. “What did you think I was, psychic? You didn’t answer your phone so I was gonna knock on her door,” he said, nodding in Chantelle’s direction.
My face hurt doing it but I couldn’t help laughing at my situation. I thought it was unlucky I was taking a beating but dumb luck had saved me.
Sajid got back into his car and I watched him drive off. I looked back at Chantelle. She had her arms crossed and I couldn’t tell if she was angry or worried or both.
Every step I took towards her I felt pain spread all around my body and hoped she would make it better.
29
“What the fuck was all that about?” Chantelle shouted as I limped towards her. “Was that Anil your best mate just waved a gun at? Where did he get that from anyway?”
I just shrugged as I approached her and when I was about ten feet away her demeanour totally changed.
“What the hell happened to you?” She came down the garden steps and reached out to me.
I looked at her. “Oh.” I realised she had missed the beat down I had just got. “You didn’t see all of it, eh?”
“What?” She put one of her arms under my shoulder and around my waist to help steer me inside. She held me too tight and my ribs ached.
I winced at the pain but was more embarrassed for the state I was in than upset. I didn’t want her to see me like this. I wanted to make a good impression.
When we got inside she led me to the sofa and I collapsed on it, lying on my back. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.
She knelt beside me and I felt one of her hands on my chest while the other ran through my hair. It felt so good to feel her touch again.
“What happened?”
“There was a misunderstanding,” I said. “It’s been resolved now.”
She was silent for a while and when I opened my eyes to look at her she was watching me carefully with her eyes narrowed.
“This have anything to do with what happened to your store?” She asked. “You didn’t go around starting fights, did you?”
I sat up slightly until I was slumped back and looked at her.
“Thom was right,” I said.
She frowned. “About what?”
“The Lion Crew petrol bombed Bestco. It was never Defenders of Islam like I had thought at first. Or the Binford Boyz for that matter.”
“Well, thank god for that,” she said. She got up and walked to the kitchen.
I tried to move but felt pain shoot down my back. I tried to suppress a groan but it was pointless.
“Doesn’t it bother you that your own brother runs with a gang?” I called out after her.
“Says the man whose best friend waves a gun at people in the street,” she called out from the kitchen.
Chantelle returned from the kitchen with a towel and a first aid kit.
“The way he talked, I got the impression Thom was getting in deep with the Binford Boyz.”
She froze. “You haven’t been dragging my brother into this nutty mission of yours, have you?”
“What?” My mouth was dry all of a sudden. “No! Of course, not.”
“He mentioned you had a meeting with his friends,” she said.
I wondered how much he had told her.
“You better not get him involved in dodgy business,” she said.
“What, and he isn’t already involved in dodgy business?”
“Thom isn’t a gangster,” she said and began dabbing my face with the towel.
“But your boyfriend Tyrone is,” I said and waited to see her reaction.
“He ain’t my boyfriend,” she said and looked me in the eye. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
I couldn’t deny hearing that made me feel much better than anything the first aid was doing. But then I started wondering if she was lying to me. I knew my paranoia was in full swing but didn’t care.
I tried not to move as she wiped my face with disinfectant but it was hard to cope with the stinging discomfort. Chantelle’s face was inches away from mine and she was concentrating on my facial injuries, which I could only guess were gonna leave marks for a long time judging from the pain I was in.
“Everyone’s been saying it was the Lion Crew the whole time,” she said. “What made you finally accept that?” Her voice was calm.
“I had to be sure.” I didn’t mention the CCTV footage the police had found.
Chantelle stayed quiet for the remainder of the time it took to clean up my face. When she finished applying two plasters on my left cheekbone she stood up and took a step back to get a better look at me.
“How do I look?” I asked.
“Like you’ve been in a riot.”
That stunned me. I stared back at her but she pouted and returned to the kitchen with the first aid kit.
“Babe, did I tell you how sorry I was about that?”
She didn’t reply.
I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I saw her leaning against the fridge with her arms crossed. She was staring at the floor but there was no doubt she knew I was right there.
“You never tried to meet me after that.” Her voice was low and steady. I didn’t know if she was about to explode in anger or burst into tears.
I walked up to her and put my arms around her. She let me and rested her head against my chest.
“I know,” I whispered. “But I meant to.”
It was the hardest thing ever for me to explain myself to her because I had no good reasons. Just poor excuses.
I stroked her hair and tried not to think of all the bullshit that had happened in the past.
“...Not after the GCSE exams,” she said. “Or the holidays before college started.”
This was true too.
I remembered at the time I felt I had to focus on the upcoming exams and make them a priority. I couldn’t deal with my personal shit at a time like that.
“Everything got in the way,” I said. “We had exams and then by the time college started I felt it was too late.” As th
e words came out of my mouth they seemed like poor excuses but they were all I had. “By then I was too embarrassed. Too scared. I thought you wouldn’t wanna see me.” I carried on stroking her hair as she listened in silence. “I was a fool, babe,” I said. “I was a damn fool. The riot was my fault.”
“...That’s not what broke me,” she whispered. “It’s how you dealt with us that did.”
I knew what she meant but I ignored it. I was still too ashamed about that. “I hated our school. I hated our society. And I hated the world. I hated it all back then,” I said, squeezing her tight. I had to suppress the anger rising inside me.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why do you think?”
She pulled away to face me and I stared into her eyes.
“It burned me up really bad that I could never be open about us being together. Deep down, I knew sooner or later we were gonna have to break up for that reason.”
I felt a lump in my throat and barely managed to fight back tears.
Chantelle looked down again. “I’m over it. I got over it then.”
Did she really mean that? Or was that just something she wanted me to believe? I couldn’t tell.
“Chantelle?”
“What?”
I lifted her chin with my finger. “You used to say it bothered you that we had to keep everything a secret and wished it wasn’t that way.”
“I know,” she said. “But that’s just the way it was with your culture so at the time I accepted it.”
It pained me to hear her say that and I wondered whether or not there had ever been a chance to rekindle what we once had. It broke my heart all over again to think I was never going to get her back. That I had lost her forever all those years ago and all I really had now was a ghost from the past.
I felt I had nothing to gain and nothing to lose. So I kissed her.
I kissed her long and hard and felt her kissing me back. Then I broke free.
I hugged her again and could feel her heart beating against my own chest. She was feeling something for sure.
“Want me to stay?” I asked.
She stared into my eyes and led me toward her bedroom, switching off the lights on the way.