“Ah, you’re awake. Wonderful. I’m going to drive you to your house. Get dressed. I put some of my old clothes that are roughly your size next to you.” It was an order. Pleasantly given and sweetly stated, but there was no mistaking the words for anything but a command.
“You don’t need to drive-” I started to say, before hearing a snort from him.
“You think you can walk?” His eyes darted down to my bruised thighs.
I huffed at him. “Of course, I can!” I argued.
His lips curled into a smirk. “Go ahead then. Get up.”
Trying to get up was a stupid idea. My legs were like jelly and I immediately fell back onto the couch. He was trying to hide a snicker.
But I saw it! And he didn’t even seem to really be trying all that hard to hide that stupid snicker. Jerk.
“Fine.” It was a whine, as I got up to go take a quick shower in his bathroom before I pulled on the outfit he gave me to change into.
The shower was nicer than anything in my house, but I was too annoyed to appreciate it. Couldn’t he be a little more romantic today? Last night we made love, and he was acting like it didn’t even matter!
Most of my anger dried up as I saw the way he just choked, seeing me in his clothes. Maybe I’m a little too harsh on him. He might just not be a morning person, but he definitely worshiped me like a goddess. And if that doesn’t earn a bit of leeway nothing does, honestly.
He worships me and sees something in me that nobody else does. It’s so good I could almost begin to cry.
“Well? Hurry up. Let’s go.” I couldn’t help but rush him. I just wanted to go already.
“Would you like me to take you to get breakfast?” He offered.
“No, Thanks,” I told him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. I had a million ideas and my body was almost twitching with inspiration. I knew exactly what I wanted to create, and I didn’t have time to waste on silly things like a meal.
I could have breakfast with him anytime, after all.
Is it just me, or did my reaction make him look... crestfallen. For a split second, he looked so disappointed, I just wanted to wrap him in a hug and never let him go.
The emotion was hidden just a moment later, so fast that I’m sure I just somehow made it up.
“Very well.” He stated his voice kind. “Let’s go then. I have a gift waiting in the car for you.”
“A gift?” I almost squawked. “There’s nothing else I need from you and I would feel-”
“Oh trust me, you’ll love it.” He told me, practically dragging me to the elevator. “I’ll bring it up to your apartment and you’ll open it when we get there.”
Oh no. He’s going to see my apartment. But I can’t even… now I just… I can’t change my mind. He might think something shady is going on if I keep outright refusing to show him my apartment.
Ugh. Fine. For the sake of our relationship, he can see my stupid apartment. And of course, he’s going to be disgusted and I’ll be humiliated. Gah. Let’s just get this over with.
I found I was right, just looking at the grimace on his face as he saw my graffiti-covered apartment complex made my stomach twist in the worst way. Oh god no. Why is this what my life is like? Why is this guy so much better than me?
He’s used to a nicer life. Higher quality of everything. And then he goes and chooses a substandard failure of a girlfriend like me! Gah!
He said nothing. Which I guess is as tactful as he gets? Simply grabbing the presents and walking three flights of the stairs to my apartment because the elevator was busted again. Dammit! As if that’s anything new. The elevator is always busted and I hate it, but it’s even worse with my boyfriend here.
When I opened my apartment and the stale scent of the air wafted out of the room, his grimace of disgust just became more pronounced.
“You live in this filth?” He demanded, dropping my gift on the table that I put my keys on as he stalked into the apartment as if he owned the place. His patience seemed to be at its limit. His nose pointed up in the air like a caricature of a snob. Better not mention that particular observation to him. “How can you even live in this squalor?”
“Hey!” I argued, feeling offended. Squalor? How dare he! My home might now be perfect. But it is a home. “This is my home! And I like it here!”
“It’s awful. You deserve so much more than this.” He declared pompously. I know it was supposed to be a compliment in his mind but I was too offended on behalf of my home to see it that way.
Calm down, Clarissa. You know what this is. It’s just his stupid Werebear instincts. He wishes to protect you from anything, even your own poverty. He wants to provide you with a better life. Just don’t get angry. Relax!
Be calm.
“Not even the air is right.” He huffed.
Calm down.
“Your furniture looks like it’s been here for the better part of a century!”
Don’t say something you regret.
“Move in with me, immediately.” He ordered. “You must agree my home is better than yours!”
Clarissa. PLEASE!
“Clarissa!” He was upset I wasn’t responding.
Fuck it!
“Who do you think you are?!” I barked out, my face red with fury. “I don’t need anyone telling me how to live my life. I’m perfectly happy here as I am. And you have no right to tell me what to do or how to live. Just leave me alone!”
That was too much. I could just tell, the way his expression dropped. It went from angry and possessive, to hurt. Like a kicked puppy looking up at their master. “Fine.” He hissed, leaving and slamming the door behind him.
Is he going to come back? Is this it for the two of us? Because I couldn’t keep my yap shut, I lose the best thing in my life?
“Damian…” I reached my hand towards the door. As if I could just will him to return to me. But I couldn’t. I didn’t have that kind of power in any way. “Come back.”
I growled and my arm shoved everything off of that same table in a childish fit of rage that would have horribly embarrassed me if anyone else was around to see me freaking out like this.
The beautifully wrapped gift he set down fell to the ground. As it broke open, the contents spilled all over the floor. It was as if in slow motion.
They were… my favorite brand of paint supplies. A new set of brushes. And dozens of small tubes of acrylic paints.
I was complaining that I wanted to get back into acrylics but I was focusing so much on watercolors that I hadn’t restocked my acrylics in a while.
Oh my god. He was listening to me. And he was thinking about me enough to get me such a perfect gift.
That’s so thoughtful and I just…
What’s wrong with me!
Chapter 6
I wanted to apologize, really, I did. Don’t look at me like that! I can’t just do it. I didn’t have any idea how to form the right words, and I’m not just going to move in with him. Just because he wants me to is not a good reason for me to just give up all my principles and move in with him.
I don’t want to owe him any more than I already do!
I am self-sufficient. I am an independent woman…I am... I am an adult. A fully functioning adult! I don’t need someone else to spend their time taking care of me! I’m doing fine all by myself.
I don’t need him.
Apparently, misery was just as much an inspiration in my art as any other. All day I created pieces that emotionally chart my brooding emotions, each stroke of the brush filled with my sorrow, anger, annoyance, sadness, and anger once more.
When it was finished, I just dropped my body onto my bed and slept. It was finished when I was exhausted when the muscles in my arms cried out with the strain and my eyes struggled to stay open.
It didn’t even occur to me that I didn’t eat a thing all day until the next morning.
That morning, my stomach snarling is what woke me up. Oh yeah, food. I sort of need that in order to continue thrivin
g. I always forget that when the artistic mood strikes me. Even so, I first checked my phone. My heart jumped into my throat.
He texted me back!
I read and reread the short text several times, making sure I was completely aware of what it meant and not missing any deeper meaning. That was a dumb idea, that there would be some deeper secret meaning to the text he sent me. He is always straightforward, and that’s usually one of my favorite things about him. But I couldn’t help but hope, maybe, just maybe, he did have some deeper meaning.
The text was… long for a text. But short and concise for his usual messages to me.
[Damian <3 <3]: I apologize for my outburst. Work has been stressful and it got to me. That is in no way an excuse, as my behavior was clearly inexcusable. I would like to give you my assurance that it will not happen again.
Work? Was work the trouble? Is this just an excuse? Or is it the truth? Is his work hard? What? He can’t just send that and not follow it up with any greater explanation about what on Earth he thought he meant!
[Clarissa]: I understand. I’m sorry for my response. I should have been more understanding.
[Damian <3 <3]: Don’t even think this is your fault for a second. I am the one at fault here.
I smiled softly at that. He’s so sweet and understanding and oh my god, how did I ever go one second allowing him to think I was really mad. I sighed dreamily and then quickly typed in the question I’ve been dying to ask.
[Clarissa]: What exactly… is work? If you don’t mind my asking, that is.
A risky test, I know. But come on! Don’t I deserve to know? I mean, he knows everything about my work. Now he knows everything about his life. But I can’t even know what he does? That’s not even fair.
Come on! Why hasn’t he texted back yet? God damn it.
Come on, Clarissa. Just chill. I mean, he’s probably just busy with something. Maybe he shut his phone off to charge. Maybe he read it and won’t respond. He doesn’t have read receipts on, so I physically cannot know for sure either way.
Why can’t he have read receipts on so I don’t have to freak out?
Chill Clarissa. Put the phone down for right now. Be an adult like you tell yourself you are so often. Go get some food, post your most recent works to your website to see if anyone wants to buy it, and then just watch TV or something. Enjoy your day off, don’t be hung up on him all day.
How do I make it seem so easy? Just ignore it. Like that isn’t so much easier said than done! I mean, he doesn’t even ever really respond. And when he does his bullshit way of responding, it is hours later! Literally, five hours later and I get this bullshit message! I can’t believe it.
[Damian <3 <3]: Anything that keeps me away from you is work, Love.
Can you believe that bullshit?
[Clarissa]: That’s not an answer!
[Damian <3 <3]: Then I’m sorry.
[Damian <3 <3]: I love you too much for time away from you to be anything else.
I growled and threw myself onto my bed. God damn it! Why can’t he give me a single straight answer?!
[Clarissa]: He’s so obnoxious!
[Kitty]: Sure, he is. But you love him. What’s the problem anyway?
[Clarissa]: He won’t tell me what his job is!
[Kitty]: Idk. He might be a drug dealer, honestly.
I rolled my eyes at the comment and didn’t even bother to reply.
[Kitty]: Maybe he has an embarrassing job? Like a caddy. He might be embarrassed.
I laughed at the response.
[Clarissa]: You always make me feel better, Kitty.
[Kitty]: I know. I’m the best.
Chapter 7
It’s been months. We have been together for months! And he still won’t even give me one straight answer about what his work is or anything about his work.
Well, if I’m being honest, that’s a lie. He told me where his work is, gave me the address while he was half asleep last time we had sex. He didn’t expect me to be quite as crazy as I am, I suppose. Or else he wouldn’t have given me this single hint if he genuinely hoped I would not find out.
Oh well. I guess I’ll find out soon. He’ll forgive me. I mean, I brought him my special brownies. No. Not special in that way if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s merely my own secret recipe that no one on earth can possibly resist. I added several scoops of nutmeg above what the recipe called for.
A girl has to cover all of her bases, after all! Nutmeg was like catnip to Werebears, some girls would wear nutmeg perfume to call a werebear to them. I never did, because I was never really interested in a werebear, until this one came along. And he likes me all on my own!
How riveting is it that he’s so interested in the girl I am! Not who I could be, not anything but who I am. He never mentioned how my stomach is too big and I still have baby fat and I have stretch marks that look like I was bitten by a shark!
With a pep in my step, I practically skipped all the way to the building he worked at. He really loves me, and as soon as I can see for myself what he’s doing and my curiosity is sated, everything will be absolutely perfect.
We’ll one day get married, maybe have a couple kids. I never really thought about kids until I met him, but I find that I really want one. I want to raise a child with the greatest man on the planet.
With that thought fueling all my most pleasant fantasies, I pushed open the door to the building. It was small. I imagined this huge skyscraper, not a building that was not even half the size of a Walmart!
My hands tighten on the Tupperware container in my hand as the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Calm down, Clarissa. Everything is fine. Damian is your husband to be. Not some shady creep.
The building was well lit and covered in things that looked expensive. In the center of the room, which I supposed was just the front room, were 12 members of a… I guess a committee. Sitting at a round table.
They looked like well-dressed knights giving their advice to my King Damian. I had half a name to ask if anyone here was named Lancelot. But that would be childish, and I am not childish. I’m not!
One guy with blue eyes and blonde hair stood out like a sore thumb. He had this green bowler hat and a reddish suit, looking like he stepped out of a Batman comic book.
Man, that guy looks like he would be fun. I should hang out with him sometime. He’s not the kind of guy I’d bring home to mama or even one I’d kiss. But he definitely looks like he would be super fun at parties. He was eye-catching and seemed to draw all the attention of everyone around him.
Every other occupant in the room looked like they stepped off the cover of a magazine in which they are a model. Suits tailored perfectly to their bodies, the fabric clinging in a way that would make any woman drool. Not just me. Not that I drooled. Well, I wiped it off my face before any of them saw! So, it doesn’t count. It doesn’t.
Each man in the room froze, and I felt a centimeter tall. Not just because all of them were tall and well built. They just stared at me like… like some insignificant bug who only gets in the way of business and just ruined everything.
Bowler hat guy smirked. “Aww. You came to visit your man.” He had a Scottish accent and his smirk was far too lewd for me to be comfortable in any way. I could just see the dirty thoughts painted all over his face. I kind of wanted to break his face. “Well now. Give us a kiss, Love!” Grr. I changed my mind. This guy sucked.
On the other hand, I know what’s probably going to happen. I winced, sure he would get an ass kicking right now. My boyfriend is many things; a patient man is definitely not one of them. He was as understanding as he possibly could be and he tried hard. Werebear instincts, however, are nature. And it is so hard to control your baser urges.
Honestly, he deserved a medal just for making a genuine attempt.
My hands tightened on the Tupperware container of brownies, the plastic shaking against the strain. My eyes met his.
Oh no. Oh no. I fucked up. This whole thing was a
mistake.
There was a rage simmering in those beautiful eyes that I usually love with all my heart. It was like he was betrayed. For the first time since the day I met him, I felt frightened.
His fist moved without him even taking his gaze off of me. He gave Bowler-Hat-Guy a swift punch in the jaw. Bowler-Hat-Guy groaned in pain, rubbing his jaw. “Ugh. You dick.” He whined, drawing the attention once again.
I gasped out loud. “Damian!” I shrieked, purposefully ignoring the other snickering men in the room.
“Out.” He hissed, coming right up to me. He stared down at me, an intense scowl marring his beautiful face.
“I just… I just wanted to bring you…uh… these… uh….” I gestured vaguely to the box of brownies in my arms. My mind had shut off and I completely forgot the word. “You know!”
“I asked you one thing.” Hissed Damian. “Stay away from my work. And you couldn’t do one single thing. How is it so hard to listen for once? Are you so stupid that you lack the mental capacity to follow the most basic of orders?”
“Shut up!” I barked out angrily, feeling tears sting my eyes. My vision began to blur as my body trembled with more rage than my body could contain.
“Leave me alone with my work. That’s all I want from you.” He snapped.
“Why can’t you just tell me!” I screeched.
“Why do you need to know?!” He roared back.
Chapter 8
I wish I could say that was the end of all of it. We realized we were being silly and the whole thing blew over in a matter of minutes. That would be a lie. A pretty lie, but a lie nonetheless. I’ve realize, however; neither of us are that kind of person. We are both overly petty and have vile tempers and we have to learn to accept the bad parts of each other.
He closed the company down early so he could walk me to my house. Early may have been an exaggeration. It was almost midnight. That was weird because it seemed like midday when I left the house.
The worst part? We continued to scream and hurl abuse at one another. It wasn’t as bad as one would think though. We still had boundaries and things we wouldn’t say to each other no matter how angry we got because we love each other deeply. I wanted us to stop, talk it out like adults. It was like I couldn’t stop. No matter how much I hated fighting with him it’s like I just physically couldn’t stop myself from screaming and raging at every bad awful thing about him.
Unwrapped by The Billionaire Page 76