by Lisa Jordan
“What about you?”
“I prefer the classics. Most anything with Cary Grant, Gregory Peck or William Holden. And, of course, Audrey Hepburn.”
“She’s in My Fair Lady, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’m looking forward to watching it, but you must feed me first.” Sarah pressed a hand to her stomach.
“Well, let’s eat, then. Dinner’s ready. It’s been such a nice day that I figured we’d eat on the patio, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure. Sounds good to me.”
Alec took her elbow and guided her through the kitchen and out the back door to the small patio, where he set the table for two with red-and-tan-striped placemats. He had considered candles, but that screamed date, which this was not. Something he’d wrestled with the minute he saw Sarah in that dress. Instead, he lit citronella tiki torches to keep the mosquitos away.
Once Sarah was seated, he returned to the kitchen and brought out a square platter that held the main course and a glass bowl filled with mixed greens. He set them on the table, then sat opposite of Sarah. He pulled his napkin out of the wooden ring and spread it across his lap.
Sarah rested her hands on the edge of the glass-topped table. “Mind if I pray?”
“Uh, sure.” What else could he say?
Bowing her head, Sarah thanked God for the food and then asked a blessing for Alec.
Would God skip over that request, marking a giant black X in the No column? He hadn’t done anything worthy of a blessing.
She turned her attention to the food. “What did you make?”
He turned the serving fork toward her. “This is chicken piccata on a bed of angel hair and a tossed salad with an Italian herb dressing. I hope you like it.”
“If this tastes half as good as it smells, I’m sure it won’t be a problem. You really didn’t need to go to all of this trouble.” She placed food on her plate, then turned the fork toward him.
“Of course I did. I felt so bad about what happened. If I hadn’t tripped over you, then you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
The light dimmed in Sarah’s eyes as she set her fork on her plate then put her hands in her lap. She lowered her gaze a moment, then looked at him. “So this is a pity date?”
The quiet tone edged with hurt speared him.
“What? No. This isn’t a date.” As soon as he spoke, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.
She reached for her glass of tea, her voice as cool as the ice in her beverage. “Glad we cleared that up.”
Alec pushed his untouched plate aside and rested his elbows on the table. “Look, Sarah, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it?” She dropped her voice and shot him a look he couldn’t decipher.
Sighing, Alec sat back in his chair and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I felt terrible when you got hurt. With the boys gone for the evening, I didn’t want you home alone. I wanted to do something to help you—friend to friend. Dinner seemed like a good idea. And since you haven’t seen that movie yet...”
“Pizza would’ve been good enough. Or even burgers and fries.” She waved a hand over the table. “This meal is something you’d find in a nice restaurant with linen tablecloths, candles and servers who wear black pants and bow ties.”
She stood, her chair skidding on the concrete, and placed her napkin next to her untouched plate. Her cheeks matched the red stripes on the placemats. “Thank you for going to all of this trouble, but it wasn’t necessary. I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
Alec jumped up, his napkin falling to the patio floor. He rounded the table and hurried after her. He pressed a palm against the back door, preventing her from opening it. “Sarah, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’ve made a complete mess of this. This wasn’t a pity date. I wanted to make you dinner to help you out. As for the date part...can we not label tonight and just be two friends having dinner? That is, if I can find room around the foot in my mouth?”
She lifted her eyes swimming with vulnerability. “Is that what we are? Friends?”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “I like to think so. The thing is, I don’t date.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” He rubbed his bare ring finger.
Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m a college-educated woman who works with teenagers on a regular basis. Believe me, I understand complicated.”
“Since my wife died, I’ve had no desire to see anyone else.”
“I see.”
He tipped up her chin. “It has nothing to do with you—it’s me.”
“If I had a quarter for every time I heard that, I’d be fifty cents richer. I didn’t come here looking for anything beyond dinner and decent company, Alec. Seriously.” She laid a hand on his arm. “This can be a nondate, for all I care. I just don’t want to be pitied.”
A slight breeze ruffled her hair. He brushed a wisp off her cheek and cracked a smile. “I don’t pity you, except maybe your popcorn-making skills.”
“One time and a girl is marked.” She slugged him playfully on the shoulder.
“I’m sorry for lousing up this dinner. Let’s start over. Our chicken piccata is getting cold.”
Sarah stood at the edge of the patio, her gaze drifting toward the stream cutting through the backyard. Then she turned and glanced at their places at the table. She tossed him a quick grin over her shoulder that nearly buckled his knees. “Let’s do something about that.”
As she seated herself back at the table and smiled at him again, he realized something—he appreciated the way Sarah challenged him. He was beginning to have her constantly in his thoughts. And that scared him. What would happen if he spent more time with her outside of the community center or his uncle’s house? What if he asked her on a real date? Maybe it was time to risk it and find out.
* * *
If Sarah could get through the rest of the evening without humiliating herself, then she’d consider that a major accomplishment.
Alec took his seat opposite her, and Sarah forced herself to pick up her fork even though her appetite had disappeared. All she wanted now was to go back upstairs, trade her sundress for pajamas and bury her nose in a romance novel.
Why had she read more into the evening than Alec intended? Of course, he was only trying to help her out. And she appreciated that. She did. But...
Maybe it was the recent playfulness or perhaps the tender way he’d cared for her at the field and then on the way home from the hospital.
Whatever it was—something had shifted in their relationship, but apparently it was one-sided...her side.
“You’re not eating. Change your mind?”
Yes.
She smiled and shook her head. She twirled pasta into the bowl of her spoon and put it into her mouth, the lemony flavor immediately bathing her tongue. “Alec, this is really good.”
“Glad you like it.” His smile created a fluttering like butterfly wings in her stomach.
“What’s in this?” She moved one of the small pea-like things with the tines of her fork. Focusing on the meal kept her head where it needed to be instead of venturing into dangerous territory.
“Breaded chicken breasts in a butter and lemon sauce, then I added a sprinkle of capers on top.” Alec poked one of the capers with his fork and held it up to show her.
“Capers?”
“They’re unripened flower buds that are sun-dried, then pickled.”
“I learned something new. You’re wasting your talents in real estate. You should have your own restaurant.”
“Nah, I don’t have the skills needed for that. I’ve enjoyed cooking since I was about Daniel’s age. I don’t want to lose my love for it by doing it as a profession.”
“I can understand that.”
Alec toyed with his pasta, then glanced at her. “May I ask you a question that’s none of my business?”
She wiped her mouth with her napkin, then smoothed it back across her lap. “Um, sure, I guess.”
“You mentioned you’d have fifty cents over the ‘it’s not you, but me’ thing. Who owes you the first quarter?”
Sarah set her fork on her plate and wiped her mouth on her napkin. “Adam and I dated for four years—since college. Six weeks before our wedding, he called it off, claiming he wasn’t ready for a commitment of that magnitude.”
“You were together for four years before he decided that?”
“Apparently. But the kicker was he married someone else three months later, and now his new wife is pregnant.”
“Man, that stinks.”
“Yeah, something like that. I couldn’t continue working with him, so I quit my job as youth director at the same church where he led worship and moved to Shelby Lake to help Caleb with the girls. He’d only been here a couple of months and had his hands full.”
“I remember. I sold him his house.”
“That’s right. He and Zoe have talked about moving into something bigger, but for now it meets their needs. Anyway, when they returned from their honeymoon, I needed to find my own place. When your grandma learned I was searching for an apartment, she said she had the perfect place for me. I’m glad you didn’t give me the boot after I set off the smoke alarm.”
He smiled, causing her insides to flutter again. “Believe me, I was so tempted, but you signed a lease and paid for the summer in advance. I had no legal grounds for eviction. Why only three months?”
“Quite honestly, I’m not sure what I want to do with my life yet. Like I’ve mentioned before—the outreach program’s a trial run funded by a grant. If it’s a success, then there’s a strong chance the church will keep it going permanently. Right now, we’re trying to reach out to kids who may not attend church and build those relationships so they will want to come on a regular basis. We’re talking about doing a pilot after-school program. Plus, I’ve applied to be a mission coordinator with Proclaim Missions. One of my good friends is the director...and he’s also Adam’s brother. There may be an opening in the fall, but it’s kind of a long shot.”
“So if the outreach program is a success and you’re offered a full-time position and this position opens up with Proclaim Missions, how will you choose?”
“Prayer. Plus, other factors will come into play—my brother and his family are here, I’m getting to know the teens...you know, those kinds of things.”
You.
But, of course, she couldn’t say that.
“You mentioned your brother and Zoe, but not much about your parents.” He leaned back in his chair, focusing his attention on her as if he were genuinely interested in learning more about her.
“My parents live outside of Pittsburgh. My dad is a workaholic. Last year he had a mild heart attack and needed a stent. The day he was released from the cardiac hospital, he went back to his office. He continues to choose work over family. My mom does a lot of volunteer work and sits on various committees.” She paused a moment and lifted her face to the evening sun. She chose her next words carefully, not wanting to see another look of pity in Alec’s eyes. “I’m sure they love us in their own way, but appearances mean everything to them. Dad wanted Caleb to take over the family business, but he wanted to be a cop. Mom thinks I need to be married and raising babies. I want a husband who makes marriage and family a priority, not an afterthought.”
“I can appreciate that. My parents had a great marriage, even with Dad’s long deployments and changes in duty stations. When he was home, my favorite memory was watching them after dinner. They’d clean up the kitchen together, always listening to the radio. When a favorite song came on, Dad would take Mom into his arms and dance with her. I think that’s what kept her going during those long months when he was away.” His voice trailed off as if he had gotten caught up in the memory.
“That’s beautiful. How long were they married?”
Alec blinked several times, refocusing on her. “Almost seventeen years. I was fifteen and Chloe was twelve when Dad was killed by friendly fire. We moved to Shelby Lake to live with Gran and Granddad so we could finish school.”
“Does your mom still live here?”
“No, she’s a nurse and married Bert, a doctor she met at Shelby Lake Memorial. They travel to developing countries to help pregnant women get prenatal care.”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive. You’ve dealt with a lot of loss in your family. How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
Sarah lifted a shoulder. “You know—live. Get out of bed every day.”
Alec released a hollow laugh. “If you ask my family, I’ve only been going through the motions of living since Christy died. Other people are relying on me. I need to be there for them, to help care for them, to keep them safe.”
She likened him to a chesty bulldog, teeth bared, watching over his family. “That’s a pretty heavy burden to carry.”
Alec pushed back his chair and crossed the patio to the lawn. “Every time my dad left for a new deployment, he’d say it was my job to be the man of the house while he was away.”
“That’s a lot of responsibility to heap on a kid.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not a kid anymore. It’s up to me to make sure the family stays safe.”
“You’re the family watchdog, and I admire that about you, Alec. But you can’t protect everyone.” She stood, walked over to him, pressing a hand to his arm. “Who cares for you?”
His eyes grazed her face, then settled on her hand. “I’m fine.”
The way he refused to meet her eyes contradicted his words.
“Are you? Really? Even if your family says you’re going through the motions of living?”
“I had it all, Sarah—a nice house, a career, a beautiful wife, a baby on the way. But in one night, I lost everything because of the choices I made.” He jerked his hands in the air, pain contorting his face. “By protecting one family, I lost my wife and baby.”
“Since you couldn’t save your own house, you walked away from your career as a firefighter.”
“What choice did I have?” The anguish in his voice knifed her chest. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but a hug wouldn’t erase away his painful past.
A surge of tears warmed her eyes. She hated to see him hurting, his pain cementing him off from true happiness. “We have to make choices every day. We have to lean into God and trust Him to help us put one foot in front of the other. When life breaks our hearts, trusting God may be all we have.”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Easy for you to say. Have you lost someone you loved?”
“When Adam broke our engagement, I was crushed, but when I learned he married someone else three months later, I was devastated. I may not have lost him tragically the way you lost Christy, but my heart was broken. I’m still mourning the aftereffects of that lost relationship...the loss of having my life mapped out. But I know God is with me every step of the way.”
“How do you know that?”
“Faith.”
“It can’t be as simple as that.”
“It’s as simple as making a choice.”
Alec headed back to the table and reached for their empty plates. “I’m going to clear some of these dishes.”
Apparently she’d gone too far, and now he was shutting down. “I’ll give you a hand.”
“No, you sit.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ve done enough sitting. Besides, wasn’t there a movie option included in this nondate?”
She carried the salad bowl into the kitchen, rummaged through his cupboards to find storage contain
ers and helped stow leftovers in the fridge. With all the time they’d spent in his kitchen during cooking lessons, she moved around the room with a sense of confidence and familiarity, even though it was clearly his domain.
Once the final dish had been loaded into the dishwasher and the machine started, Alec refilled their glasses with tea and carried them into the living room, then set them on the apothecary table. He removed the DVD from the case and inserted it into the player. Settling at the opposite end of the couch, he reached for the remote and pressed Play.
Part of her wanted to scoot closer to him, but she had to remind herself that’s not what “just friends” did. After all, this wasn’t a date. Instead, she curled up in the other corner of the couch, tucking her feet underneath her, and rested her head on her arms. With a full stomach and a cozy spot, her energy drained out of her and into the couch cushion.
For nearly three hours, they watched the movie in silence with the exception of an occasional laugh and Alec’s humming along with the songs.
She struggled to keep her attention on Eliza’s plight.
She slid a sideways glance at Alec only to find him watching her. The moment their eyes connected, he returned his gaze to the TV. What was he thinking about? Had her words given him something to ponder? Or would he use them to construct a new barrier between them?
Swallowing a sigh, she forced her attention back to the TV. Once the credits rolled, she stretched and smiled, her eyes drowsy. “That was a great movie. Thanks for insisting I watch it.”
“Anytime.”
Smiling, she stood and yawned. “It’s late. I should go.”
“I’ll walk you upstairs.” He placed a hand at her back.
“Alec, I’m sure I can manage.”
“Humor me.” After opening his front door, he followed her upstairs to her apartment.
“Thank you for dinner and the movie. Since I was too full for popcorn, I won’t hold that against you.”
He laughed, the rich sound draping around her like a soft blanket warmed from the dryer. “Next time.”