by Lisa Jordan
He stood in the middle of the former Christy’s Closet.
Alec appreciated his sister’s willingness to take over cleaning out the store. Paint fumes mingled with the scents of citrus cleaner and the lemon oil used to restore the wooden floor to a polished gleam. The floor creaked beneath the soles of his leather flip-flops and echoed off the bare walls. Not only had Chloe and Jane Lynn, Christy’s mother, cleaned out the racks of clothes and accessories, but they’d scrubbed every inch of the place and repainted the walls a buttery yellow that, of course, reminded him of Sarah.
The building with its second-floor apartments offered so many possibilities. Alec could do anything he wanted with it. After talking with Pastor Nate, he knew what that was, but everything depended on Sarah.
The front door opened and, with the exception of Daniel and Toby, the teens from the summer outreach program filed in. Their eyes were wary as they took in the empty room. At that moment Alec realized that if he wanted their help, then he needed to be transparent and expose his flaws. How else would they see him as the real deal?
His gut tightened. This was his first time around them without Sarah. He raised a hand in greeting, then gestured to the stacks of gray metal folding chairs he’d borrowed from the church with Nate’s permission. “Hey, guys. Glad you could make it. Grab a chair and let’s talk.”
Metal clanged against metal as the kids grabbed chairs and arranged them in a circle. Once they were seated, Alec reached for one of his own, turned it around and straddled it. He ran a hand down his face, suddenly tired for the first time in hours.
Garrett, with a serious look on his face for once, folded his arms over his chest and spoke up. “How’s Sarah?”
Alec rubbed his hands together, then rested them on his knees. He took in their somber faces. “I hear she’s doing better and coming home today. And that’s part of what I want to talk to you about.”
“You hear? You haven’t seen her?” The accusatory tone in Garrett’s voice scored a direct hit.
He kept eye contact with the kid. “No.”
Garrett ground his jaw. He shook his head, then exhaled. “So you ditched her the way you ditched us.”
“Guys, I screwed up. Big-time. And now I owe you an apology and need to ask for your forgiveness. When Sarah approached me with this cooking idea of hers, I couldn’t say no fast enough.” For the next half hour he shared his story about meeting Justin, Justin’s revenge, losing Christy and the way he turned his back on God. “The last thing I wanted was to get involved with a bunch of teenagers again.” Instead of the ache that usually pinged his heart, Alec felt more at ease than he had in a long time.
Amber’s eyes shifted to her friends, then looked at him. “So what changed?”
Alec stood and shoved his hands in his back pockets. He ambled around the circle, making sure to make eye contact with each of them. “I saw the way you guys really embraced the skills Sarah wanted you to learn.”
“Sarah—she’s chill, man. She gets us.” Garrett fist-bumped his neighbor.
“Yes, she does.”
Amber slouched in her chair and shrugged. “So why are you like telling us this?”
Alec stood with his back to the group and stared out the front window a moment. Sunshine streamed through the sparkling clean storefront windows, removing any trace in the sky of the storm that had wrecked havoc the previous day. Branches littered the sidewalks and streets. He turned back to the teenagers. “Because I think it’s important to know where someone comes from so you can understand where they’re trying to go. Plus, I messed things up with Sarah, and I’m asking you guys to help me fix that.”
Amber and Garrett exchanged looks, then Garrett jutted out his chin and gave him a quick nod. “What do you have in mind?”
“Would you still like to have the community dinner to show off your cooking skills?”
“That’s going to be tough without a kitchen and stuff.” Amber tossed her braid over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow.
Alec turned his chair back around, sat and balanced his elbows on his knees. “We have access to one. Josie Brennan offered us the Cuppa Josie’s kitchen. It’s not large enough for all of us at once, but we can work in shifts. My family will be here helping set up tables and turning this place into a makeshift dining room. Since Josie’s is just down the block, we can make the food there and keep it warm here with buffet-style chafing dishes. Are you up for it?”
The gang glanced at one another, then nodded. “Yes, let’s do this.” Cheers and slapping of palms filled the air.
Alec pulled out his iPhone from his back pocket and opened the Notes app. “We need to figure out a menu, then go shopping. We need to break up into teams. Garrett, I’m putting you in charge of the cooking group. Amber, can you handle the setup crew?”
When the teen nodded her head, Alec continued. “Great. I’ll lead the communications crew and let people know a dinner is happening tonight.”
They separated into their teams and went to work. Alec called Gran and Chloe for help in spreading the word.
The front door opened, and Billy entered. Striding over to Alec, he clapped him on the shoulder. “How’s it going, man?”
Alec grasped Billy’s hand and gave him a one-armed hug. “What’s up, Billy?”
“I talked to Ma. She told me what she and your sister did. I’m proud of you, man. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”
“But it was necessary.” Alec crossed his arms over his chest and surveyed the energy in the room. “Just took a little time.”
“And a little motivation?” Bracing himself on the back of one of the metal folding chairs, Billy glanced at him and jerked up his chin.
Alec punched him playfully in the shoulder. “Maybe, but it had nothing to do with your threat to pass out my phone number.”
“If you say so.” Billy grinned, then his face sobered. “How’s Sarah?”
“I believe she’s being discharged today.”
“Good to hear.” His brother-in-law straightened and slid a hand into his front pocket. “You know, that opening is still available if you’d like to come back to the department.”
“Thanks, but I’m happier selling houses than saving them. What you do is amazing and heroic, but I think God has something else in store for me.” He told Billy about his plans for the building.
“Christy would be pleased.”
“I’m sure. Hey, man. I loved your sister, and I’ll always cherish our time together, but I can’t continue living in the past. I’m starting over. If Sarah and the boys will let me, I hope to be a part of their lives.”
“I know you’re not asking for my blessing, but I’m giving it anyway. You’ll always be family.”
“Thanks, man. That means a lot. And since you’re family and all, how about lending a hand to help me win back the girl?”
“Whatever you need.”
He needed Sarah, and he prayed she’d be able to see he was the right man for her.
* * *
Sarah had never been a crybaby. Even after Adam broke her heart, married someone else and announced their pregnancy, she hadn’t cried more than two days total.
But as she stood in front of the mirror and tried to apply makeup to cover the bruises and abrasions on her face, she couldn’t stop the stream of tears flowing down her cheeks and smearing her mascara.
She looked like a freak with her smoke-reddened eyes, singed hair and parched skin.
How was she supposed to put on a happy face and smile through dinner? Sniffling, she reached for a tissue off the counter and wiped the smeared makeup.
She’d honestly expected the church board to continue the program. After arriving at Nate and Melissa’s, she’d pressured Nate for details... Melissa had been right—finances were the main concern. At least he did promise to explor
e new options next week as long as she promised to relax and not think about it.
If it weren’t for the boys, she’d consider trying to finance it herself, but with legal costs and needing to prove financial responsibility, it looked as if she’d have to say yes to Jonah’s job offer after all. And start over. Again. Would the boys be willing to move to Virginia?
The thought made her stomach churn. But she had to push it out of her head for now.
Caleb and Zoe were arriving any minute to pick her up for a dinner she didn’t even have an appetite for—and she wasn’t close to being ready.
She dotted more concealer under her eyes and blended it with her pinky. Well, it had to be good enough. Maybe the restaurant would have dark lighting to hide her flaws.
She shed her pajamas and slipped into a pink sundress, white shrug and white wedges. She hung an enamel daisy necklace around her neck and hooked white hoops in her ears. Maybe the fun jewelry would brighten her mood.
After napping at Melissa and Nate’s, Caleb had picked her up and taken her home, giving her Daniel’s key to unlock her apartment. With no car, no phone and no purse with her bank cards, she was pretty much stuck at the apartment. Not that she cared to go anywhere anyway. Tomorrow she’d apply for a new driver’s license and bank cards. Maybe Caleb could help her figure out what to do about her car, which had been crushed in the back parking lot when the tree had come down.
But even though she was here, Alec hadn’t bothered to come see her and make sure she was okay. She didn’t even hear Eliza barking downstairs.
And it bothered her more than she cared to admit.
That awareness brought a quick rush of tears. And that made her angry. She wasn’t going to cry over someone who couldn’t even take two minutes to stop in and say hi, even if she hadn’t seen him in over a week.
Jerk.
She sat on the edge of the tub and cradled her forehead in her hands. She really didn’t feel like going out. She wasn’t going to be good company, so maybe she should just cancel. With no phone, she’d have to wait until Caleb showed up, but then he’d convince her to get out and get some fresh air.
Why would he even suggest going out in public on the day she was released from the hospital?
Because he knew she needed the distraction. Otherwise, she’d continue reliving the nightmare all over again. Despite two showers, she continued to smell the lingering stench of smoke in her hair. The doctor said her cough should improve in a couple of days once her irritated lungs healed.
Now she understood what Alec meant when he’d said the fire haunted him. But she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life afraid.
A knock sounded on her door. She trudged through the living room and opened it. Caleb stood on the landing, wearing his typical untucked white button-down shirt and khaki shorts. He smiled. “Ready?”
She kept a hand on the door. “Listen, Caleb, I’m not feeling so great. I think I should skip dinner.”
“You need to eat. The kids have been so worried about you. I don’t want to ruin any surprises, but the girls made you something. Let’s just say our house is covered in glitter and Disney stickers.”
Sarah blew out a sigh. Her brother’s veiled guilt trip worked. “Fine, but I can’t be held responsible for any grumpiness that may ensue.”
“Noted.”
She reached for her purse only to remember it had burned in the fire. One more thing to add to tomorrow’s to-do list. She grabbed Daniel’s key and locked the door, then realized she didn’t have a pocket to hold it. Caleb could keep it in his pocket for her.
She expected to find their SUV loaded with Zoe and the kids. Instead, Caleb’s sedan waited at the curb. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re meeting us downtown. With Daniel and Toby, we didn’t have enough room for all of us. I figured if you wanted to cut out early, I could run you home without loading up everyone else.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
They drove the few blocks to the business district. Cars lined both sides of Center Street, which was unusual for a weekday evening in the small town. Caleb circled the block again, then slid into a spot in front of Cuppa Josie’s. People lined the sidewalk. Music spilled from one of the nearby buildings.
What was going on?
“Where are we going for dinner? I didn’t think to ask, and you didn’t say.”
“No, I didn’t.” He flashed her the same grin that always managed to get him out of trouble with his wife. He shifted the car into Park and shut off the engine.
She opened her door and followed him onto the sidewalk and then hurried to keep up with his long-legged stride as he pushed through the crowd gathered on the sidewalk.
He stopped in front of Alec’s late wife’s business, Christy’s Closet. The storefront windows no longer showcased posed mannequins dressed in stylish clothes. White café curtains hung in the windows, and she was able to see tables and people even before they opened the door.
She shot Caleb a puzzled look. “What’s going on?”
“Let’s go in and find out.” Caleb opened the door, then stepped back for her to pass through.
Applause, cheers and whistles greeted her. People swarmed around her, grabbing her hand, hugging her and asking a million questions about how she was doing. They herded her deeper into the room.
Where was Caleb? Or Zoe?
She’d never been afraid in crowds before, but all of a sudden the walls appeared to be closing in on her. Her breathing hitched in her chest as her stomach quivered. She needed everyone to back up. She needed air.
Her eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape. Someone from behind gave her upper arms a gentle squeeze and whispered in her ear, “Sarah.”
Recognizing Alec’s voice, she turned, buried her face into his chest and mumbled into his shirt.
He lowered his head. “What was that?”
“Get me out of here. I need some air.”
Alec wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her to his side while fighting his way through the maze of tables covered with white tablecloths and decorated with clear vases filled with wildflowers. He led her out the back door into a private parking lot. The heavy steel door closed behind them, shutting out the din of conversation and music.
He pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. Opening the passenger door, he guided her onto the leather seat.
She pressed her head against the back of the seat, suddenly feeling a little foolish. She drew in several deep breaths, and the screaming in her head quieted down.
Alec squatted beside her and brushed her hair off her cheek. “You okay?”
She nodded, but didn’t open her eyes. “I’ve never had an anxiety attack in public, but all of a sudden I felt trapped.”
“Like you were back at the center?”
“Yes.”
“You need to see someone. You don’t want that traumatic experience haunting you.”
“Talking from experience?”
“Something like that.”
Sarah turned her head and looked at him. She hadn’t seen him in over a week. The same lines creased his forehead. His eyes reminded her of her favorite worn jeans. His hair had been cut recently. He looked the same, yet something was different. He seemed less...wired...more peaceful than she’d ever seen him.
Or maybe her head was messing with her again.
He traced her jaw with his index finger. “How are you feeling?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“Tired. Very tired. Every time I try to sleep, I hear the crash, smell the smoke, feel the flames. I was so scared.” Her voice caught in her throat as she forced back the pressure building behind her eyes.
“Come here.” Alec slid his hands under her arms and practical
ly lifted her out of the car. He pulled her into his embrace and tightened his arms almost as if he was afraid to let her go. He kissed the top of her head, then whispered into her hair, “Thank God, you’re safe, Sarah.”
She wanted to melt into his arms and allow his strength to support her, but her heart cried out at his nearness, knowing they couldn’t be together. She’d be leaving soon. But for a moment, she breathed in his closeness, memorizing the way they fit together so perfectly.
If only.
Chapter Seventeen
“What’s going on, Alec?” Gently Sarah stepped away from him, suddenly feeling cold and missing him even though he was only a foot away from her.
“With what?”
She waved a hand toward the building. “With this. The dinner.”
Alec scrubbed a hand over his face. “There’s a lot I need to say to you, but not here...not like this. I know you’re exhausted, but promise me we can talk later.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Please, Sarah, it’s important.”
“Answer one thing.”
“Anything.”
“Where were you? Did this summer mean so little to you that you couldn’t even check to make sure I was okay?” She didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, to expose the vulnerable side of her heart, but the question weighed so heavily that she needed to ask it or sink under the weight of it.
Alec stepped forward and crushed her to his chest. “Oh, my sweet Sarah, nothing could be further from the truth. I nearly lost it when I learned you were trapped in that building. My worst nightmare happening all over again, and I was helpless. I didn’t come to see you because I had to take care of some unfinished business. That’s what I need to talk to you about. Will you come to my place after the dinner so we can talk?”
The idea of talking when she knew it couldn’t change anything had her hesitating. “I don’t know, Alec.”
“Please, Sarah. I really need you to hear me out.” Desperation fringed the edges of his throaty voice.