by Dahlia West
“I’m not going to just go away, Leah,” he said gently. “And I don’t think it’s realistic for you to try to do this all by yourself.”
Once more she looked like a trapped rabbit, scared and unsure. There was nothing cute about it this time, though, and Austin felt like an asshole. He waited patiently but got no response.
Chapter Fourteen
‡
Leah knew he was right, of course, but she had no idea what to do about it. It seemed daunting, a near-Herculean task, to raise a baby on her own. She knew she’d find a way, of course, but the details were…sketchy at best. Both her parents worked and so they couldn’t provide child care while Leah was working herself. And just the thought of burdening her parents again made her stomach turn. The baby could share her room but she couldn’t afford a car seat or a car to put it in.
“Leah?”
She stood up suddenly, lurching to her feet. “I don’t feel well,” she said, which was true enough. “I need to go home and lie down.”
He frowned and for a moment she thought he would argue, push the issue, but he simply opened his wallet and left some cash for their drinks and guided her to the street and into the truck. She put her head against the cool glass, which did nothing to slow the whirlwind of her thoughts, but felt nice in the summer sun.
He left her alone on the drive back, which she fully appreciated. There was only the hum of the air conditioner and the sound of midday traffic. It felt oppressive, though, this relative silence. Each second that ticked by felt heavier, more urgent. She flipped the plastic vent so that the blast of cold air was directed right onto her skin but she thought the resulting goosebumps might have been from something else altogether.
Like the air before a lightning strike.
She had the door open before he even came to a complete stop in the empty space in front of her apartment.
“Leah!” he shouted as her feet hit the pavement.
She slammed the door, harder than she meant to, and wanted to call out a word of apology but it got stuck in her throat like a slimy, thick frog. She heard his door open and picked up speed, heart pounding in her chest. She wasn’t afraid of Austin, specifically, only in general, in the way he saw her and their situation, in the way he wanted action when she was paralyzed and couldn’t take any.
She moved quickly, as though putting some distance between them would allow her to breathe again. She just needed one minute, just one, to think. When she reached the door, she sighed in relief as the knob turned easily. She ducked inside and slammed it behind her, shutting him out, along with the rest of the world, putting a solid wall between herself and all her problems, just for a second.
She leaned against the frame, eyes closed, and waited on the other side, taking each breath as it came and letting it out slowly. She listened for bootfalls on the concrete walkway. Seconds passed, half a minute. Silence. The knock finally came softly and she’d been expecting it. She braced herself against the door, to keep him out, just for one more minute, one more second, one more moment of a life that was hers and hers alone…and the baby growing inside her.
Her hand rubbed along the jutting bones of her hips, crossing the softer flesh as though she could feel him there. Or her. Him or her. It made no difference. Just that a baby, a life, existed at all where there wasn’t supposed to be one was more than enough to satisfy her.
Austin knocked again. “Leah,” he said, his voice just as quiet as his knuckles on the door, like he knew she was there, too.
She sighed, opened her eyes, and pushed herself away from the door. Turning, she twisted the knob and pulled.
He stood in front of her, looking as good as he had that night. But Leah knew him for the snake he was. He’d bitten her once. He’d do it again. “What are we going to do, Leah?”
She pressed her lips together because she didn’t have an answer.
“I can’t stay any longer,” he told her. “And we both know you need more than just a check once a month. My sister-in-law is a nurse. And my brothers, well, they’ll do anything you need done. And Sofia, you’ve met her.”
“She makes good cookies,” said Leah quietly.
God, she honestly could not remember ever being this tired.
“Yeah,” he replied with a smile. “She does.”
That smile.
That evil, awful, snake-in-the-grass smile.
Even now her belly fluttered at the sight of it.
“You and the baby need a home, Leah.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re going to give it to us?”
He scraped his boot along the concrete doorstep. “Well, I have one. And it’s safe, filled with people who will help you. No rent, so you can pay your bills easier. Or save your money and I’ll take care of them. Whatever you want to do, Leah. You set the boundaries. But I don’t think you really want to be on your feet all day long. And you don’t have an extra bedroom for a nursery. We’ll…we’ll figure out us at some point. That doesn’t matter. What matters is the best situation for you and the baby. Whatever you want to do. Just tell me and I’ll make it happen.”
She closed her eyes again and sagged against the door frame. Whatever she wanted to do.
She wanted to ride a horse.
She wanted to climb a mountain.
She wanted to sing.
And she still wanted a cowboy. But not this one. Some other one. One who hadn’t made her feel lower than the dirt he was now knocking off his sole.
She wanted to live, with a husband and a baby and a little house on a little hill. But God wasn’t going to give her all that. He’d let her live, though, apparently. And He’d given her a child. That would have to be enough. She opened her eyes.
“Come home with me, Leah.”
She’d seen Austin Barlow’s home. Star Valley. There were worse places. The truth was there were few places more beautiful on this Earth, not that she’d seen much of it in her short, complicated life. “Home,” she echoed. She could give it a try, for the baby’s sake, anyway. She could always come back to Cody if it didn’t work out. “Okay. I’ll go home with you.”
Chapter Fifteen
‡
Austin spent the next morning carrying Leah’s only suitcase to the bed of his truck. He’d hadn’t arrived particularly early, assuming she wouldn’t have much to take with her. The sad fact was, she had even less than that. She left her roommate with her bed and dresser with instructions to sell it and pocket the proceeds. Candace, for her part, tried to argue and insist that she’d mail Leah the money, but Leah wouldn’t hear of it. She also insisted on nearly wiping out her checking account to pay her portion of the next two month’s rent.
Candace cast him a furtive glance and he waved her off. “She’s practically broke now!” she whispered to him fiercely while Leah was in the bathroom.
“I’ll handle it,” he told the brunette. “It’ll be fine.”
There was no way he’d let the mother of his child want for anything.
Leah emerged carrying a small backpack and looking around the apartment one final time. “I guess that’s everything.”
“Call me,” Candace demanded, sweeping her into a hug. “The second you get there.” She eyed Austin warily before turning back to Leah. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you to your parents?”
Leah shook her head. “No. I can handle it.”
Candace frowned. “Okay. I guess. But no matter what, call—”
“I will,” Leah promised. “I’ll call.”
“You better.”
This time he helped her up into the cab of the truck and then shut the passenger door. As he rounded the front end to get behind the wheel, he made a mental note to show her kindness whenever and where ever he could. It was the least he could do.
It took no time to get to the north end of Cody and turn down the driveway of Leah’s parents’ house. It was a one-story affair with a well-cared for lawn but a porch that needed new steps and shutters
that could use a new coat of paint.
Leah leaned away from him but stopped suddenly, grasping the door handle. “Just…could you…” She sighed heavily. “Could you not let them know we don’t know each other? Could you make them think…we’re together?”
“So you want me to lie?”
“Don’t lie,” she told him. “Just don’t…”
“Just don’t tell the truth?”
She glared at him. “I don’t want them to worry, okay? They’ve had enough of that, my whole life. I don’t want them to worry ever again.”
Austin was so surprised he leaned back in the seat and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He’d assumed she wouldn’t want to face her parents’ wrath, that she’d lie to avoid the shame and stigma of an unplanned pregnancy with a man she didn’t even know. To hear her say it was to spare them…well, he couldn’t fault her for that, could he?
They didn’t make it to the door before it flung open. An older woman, thin with shoulder length blonde hair gasped as Leah and Austin stepped onto the porch. “We weren’t expecting you!” she cried.
“I know. I should’ve called.”
Mrs. Pierce turned her gaze toward him, blinked, but didn’t speak.
“Mama, this is Austin.”
“Ma’am,” he said with a nod of his head.
“Well…come in, come in,” the woman said, holding the front door open. “Carl? Leah’s here! And she’s brought…” She turned to Leah, eyebrows raised.
Leah bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder at him. Austin could tell she was pleading silently with him. He gave her a tiny nod.
“My boyfriend,” Leah said, turning back to her mother.
“This is Leah’s boyfriend,” the woman beamed to the man seated on the couch.
Carl Pierce didn’t have much to say about that but he assessed Austin with an eye that was practically slitted. Austin had no idea if he was living up or down to the man’s expectations.
“Well, come sit down! Come sit down.” She gestured to two chairs opposite the couch. “How did you meet?” Mrs. Pierce asked him.
“In Jackson Hole,” Austin replied.
“Oh. Jackson Hole? Are you a friend of Kyle, or Becca?”
He remembered, at the very least, that Leah had been in town for wedding that weekend. “No, ma’am, I wasn’t there for the wedding. I was accepting an award. For ranching.”
“You’re a rancher,” Mr. Pierce repeated.
“Yes, sir. Leah and I met, and well, we hit it off and…” He struggled to think of something to say, something Leah would appreciate. A lie, but not. “And I haven’t had eyes for anyone since,” he finished with a smile. True enough.
“Mama, Daddy, there’s something I have to tell you. I’m…” Leah took a deep breath and opened her mouth but her mother jumped up out of her chair.
“Tea?” she practically shouted.
Austin rocked back in his seat.
The woman sped off to the kitchen where Austin could see her over the wet bar, flinging open the refrigerator and pulling out a container. She opened and closed cupboards, gathered napkins onto a wooden tray, not once looking at Austin or her daughter who’d come to see them.
“Mama, we don’t need tea,” Leah called.
“Nonsense,” the woman replied. “I made it this morning. Fresh brewed. No trouble. It’s no trouble.”
The room fell silent as she hefted the refreshments back, walking so slowly she might as well have been moving backward. At the coffee table, she bent and lowered it to the flat surface. The cups rattled so loudly that Austin thought they might chip before she finally set them down on the table.
“Mama,” said Leah, but the woman refused to look up.
“I have some sugar,” Mrs. Pierce declared a little too loudly. “But no lemons, sorry. I didn’t know. If we’d known…If we’d known…” Her sharp voice trailed off as though speaking had become too burdensome, too challenging. Austin glanced at Mr. Pierce whose face was an unreadable mask. His initial happiness at having Leah home for a visit had seemed to fade into a guarded uneasiness.
Austin realized with a sickened twist of his gut that he knew these people, or at least their expressions. They looked exactly the way Dad had looked when snow kept coming down and showed no signs of letting up. When he counted the days on the calendar and knew the herd had gone too long without hay and there was not a damn thing they could do.
These people were afraid.
“Mama,” said Leah, standing up and taking the woman’s hands in her own. They were shaking so badly Leah had trouble keeping them still. “Mama, I’m not sick. I’m pregnant.”
Leah’s mother froze. “Wh…what?”
Leah’s father leaned forward in his chair. All his stoicism slid into a deep-lined frown. “How’s that now?” he asked. “You’re…you’re…?”
Leah cleared her throat and stood up a little straighter. “Austin and I—”
He noticed how carefully she was presenting them as a couple. He smiled widely, to help her along.
“—are expecting a baby,” she finished.
“Leah, honey,” her mother said quietly. “Are…are you sure? How…how can that be?”
Leah produced the small strip of photos from her pocket and held them out.
Her mother looked at them for a long moment before taking them. She stared at them, unblinking, mouth gaping.
“This one’s for you,” Leah told her, handing over the small square she’d snipped off the end and handing it to her mother. “I’m sure there will be more and we’ll get copies of them all for you. But here’s the very first one.”
Her mother handed the photos to her father who seemed almost reluctant to take them. Austin couldn’t help but feel a renewed sense of compassion for them all. They were all so afraid that the rug would be pulled out from under them at any given moment.
Leah though, for her part, beamed proudly. “And I know things must seem like they’re happening fast.”
He bit down on the inside of his lip to stifle a snort.
“You’ve only just met him and I’m sure you’d like to get to know him.” Leah bit down on her own lip and Austin, not knowing what else to do, just held the stupid smile and nodded. “And you will. You will. I’m sure. But…he’s got a house, down in Star Valley. And we think it’s a good idea for me to move there. You know, for obvious reasons. It’s not that far away,” she added quickly. “You can visit.” She glanced at Austin who nodded.
“Any time,” he clarified. “Really.”
Her mother sat down in the chair with a bit of a graceless whump, which Austin thought was well deserved under the circumstances. “Well…I mean…it’s a surprise. A shock really,” the woman said in a dreamy, disconnected voice. The older couple exchanged glances while Austin and Leah waited silently.
“What…” Leah’s mother asked her husband. “What do we…?”
“How far away is your place?” her father asked, taking over.
“About five hours, sir, to the city limits and then another twenty minutes to get to our homestead. Star Valley isn’t as big as Cody, but there’s a feed store, a diner, a post office and a few shops. Leah and the baby would have everything they need there. And almost my whole family lives there, right there on the ranch, three of my brothers plus our foreman and his family. My brother Seth lives with his wife on the next spread over. She’s a nurse at the medical center. She has a little girl and a baby on the way,” he added to make them feel better. “Leah wouldn’t be alone, or lonely, or anything like that. Even when I’m out at camp with the herd.”
The Pierces were far enough removed from Star Valley that they didn’t bristle at the name Barlow and all it implied. Closer to home he might’ve had to fight whispers about wife-napping.
“Visit as often as you’d like,” he added for good measure. “There’s plenty of room and Sofia, she cooks for us, can feed an army.”
“And I might not even stay,” Leah chimed in an
d Austin was disappointed that they weren’t even home yet and she was already thinking about leaving. “I mean, we’re just trying it out.”
He forced himself to nod. “I take my responsibilities seriously, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce. To Leah and the baby, to everyone, my town and my Church.”
Mrs. Pierce frowned. “Seems like both of you could’ve spent more time in Church,” she muttered.
“Yes, ma’am,” Austin replied, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
The woman’s face softened, though, and she pulled Leah to her again. “A baby, though,” she whispered fiercely. “A baby.”
Leah nodded into her mother’s shoulder and wiped fresh tears off her cheeks.
“Well, what the Lord has blessed us with we won’t sully with finger pointing,” said Mrs. Pierce. “It’s a miracle.”
Austin watched Leah stiffen at the word and wondered about it, but said nothing. Mrs. Pierce offered him a warm smile and he returned it, thinking he could have worse in-laws (or almost in-laws) for sure. They were taking the news better than he knew he had.
“How are you for money?” Leah’s father asked.
Her mother’s hands fluttered, excitedly. “I’ve got some of your baby things, somewhere. Aunt Debbie has your old crib. At least I think she has it. I’m not sure if we can ship it from Utah, but I’m sure—”
Leah held up a hand, waving both of them off. “I’m fine, mom. I’m fine. I’ve got my job and my jewelry…it’s going just fine.”
Austin stepped forward. “I’ll take care of them, Mrs. Pierce. There won’t be anything they don’t have.”
After exchanging numbers and a prolonged goodbye filled with tears, clutching hugs, and hearty handshakes, Austin helped Leah into the truck once more and they rattled along her parents’ pothole-riddled driveway to the highway that would take them back to Star Valley.