“Such a nice quote,” I joke as I sit a few inches away from him. “Should be stitched on a throw pillow. It’d be a hell of a decoration, don’t you think?”
He side-eyes me hard, then glowers at the street. “I am not in the mood.”
“Seriously?” I scoff. “I couldn’t tell from your sulking posture and your looming gray cloud over your head.” I snicker to myself, but he just glares at me silently. “Get it? Because of your name? Grey and gray…?”
I am met with silence.
He looks at me sideways. “Why are you here?”
“David invited me—” I start, but he slices through my words.
“No, I mean here. Next to me. Trying to…do whatever this is.” He gestures to me with his hands.
I take a deep sigh and think about what I will tell him next. Something tells me I shouldn’t say I’m mostly here because David asked me to calm him down. He’d just lose his shit again. And he looks like he’s calmed down some. I don’t know whether it’s because he’s had a tiny bit of time to let the news process or because I’m here. I do know that I’ll never find out because he’d never admit to the latter. Ever. He is the most stubborn person I know.
“Because I want to,” I finally say.
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah fucking right. David sent you, didn’t he?” He quickly stands, and I scramble up after him. He’s turning away from me, and it stings when he pulls his hands away as I reach for them. Now I know how he feels, frustrated and like I’m not being listened to. I suddenly am very apologetic for not hearing him out all those times. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
“I’m here because you just found out some pretty big news—” I defend myself.
“You shouldn’t be here at all!” he snaps, veins pounding under his neck. I snap my mouth closed and watch as he rolls his eyes and pivots on his heels, furiously rubbing his face. “At this party, with him—”
“Why do you care why I’m here or why I’m with him?” I cut him off, and he looks at me incredulously. “Because last I knew, we were through. Done. Over.” My voice grows softer and softer with each word. “I gave you that note…and you never replied. I took that as the last possibility of there being an us and was okay with it. Dying on the inside a little, yes, but okay nonetheless.” I take a breath and look away from his hurt expression. “This isn’t about us, though. I am here right now because I genuinely care about you. And not just as a significant other, but as a person who cares about your well-being.”
“Then leave,” he whispers.
“Stop being so damn stubborn and let me help you, Grey,” I say, fed up with his BS.
“If you care about my well-being so god damn much, then fucking leave!” he screams in my face.
“Fine!” I scream and push him back. I turn on my heels, stomping up to the backyard gate. I can’t believe I ever thought I could still help him. He’s always been so freaking hard-headed, but he’s even worse now that he won’t accept my help. He still thinks I have some god damn agenda against him, and I’m growing too tired to keep explaining to him that what I did was a mistake I am paying for every single day.
I am almost at the gate when I am whirled back around.
“Don’t leave,” he says, his face softened.
“What the hell, Grey?” I grab my hands from him and rub my eyes. He can be so confusing. It was stressful then, and it still is to this day. “Do you want me here or gone?” I put my hands on my hips and pull my best stern expression. He has to choose whether he wants my presence or not. I will not keep getting jerked around by him. I refuse it.
He chews on his lower lip, and his dimples poke into his cheeks as he twists up his face. Like a baby stuck between two toys, he narrows his eyes at me and thinks so hard, I can practically see his thoughts fly through his head.
Finally, he rolls his eyes and kicks his foot at the grass. “Here, I guess…”
I think I hide my smile as I nod and say, “Good, now stop being an ass and come with me.”
His dimples grow deeper when he smirks.
I gasp, knowing what he’s thinking.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Wyler.” My cheeks warm immensely.
“I didn’t say anything,” he defends, raising his hands. But that cheeky little grin is still sloping his mouth.
“Yeah, but I can read your mind.” I walk over to the curb, and he follows. We sit down, just a few inches apart.
“Oh, can you now?” he jests.
“Yep, clear as day.” I smile and feel a certain tugging in my chest when he grins from ear to ear. For once, he isn’t scowling at me like he wants to see me at my lowest. He actually looks sort of relieved. I know, it’s weird, but I feel a big sense of relief too. “So, David…” I clear my throat. It felt too good between us, and I still haven’t done what I was sent out here for. Even though he looks well under control now.
He groans and looks super pissed, like he totally forgot why he’s out here in the first place. “Can you believe it? After all the years of us being like brothers, he’s leaving me for a girl. She’s okay and everything, a little fucking chatty, but she’s his and he loves her. I have no problem with her, but he just wants to get up and move so far fucking away?”
“Did he tell you why they’re moving here?” I know David would tell him the whole situation.
“Something about her family being out here or some shit like that,” he hisses and throws his hands up. “But what the fuck am I? Am I not his family? His brother is locked up, and they’re on the worst fucking terms ever. His parents are dead, and none of the rest of his family really reach out to him unless they want something. But me? I’ve been there since day fucking one.” He looks away.
“I was there when his aunts tried to squeeze money out of him. I was there when his grandmother died, who was closest with him. I was there when he thought he was shit and that Holly wouldn’t want him; I listened to him babble about planned dates and everything. Yet he’s just fucking getting up and leaving me? How is that fucking fair?” he rants until he is out of breath at the end. He finally looks at me for a reaction and shakes his head. “Let me guess, you think what he’s doing is right and I’m just a big fucking baby?”
“No,” I frown, placing a hand on his knee.
“Really?” He sounds shocked.
I nod. “I mean, I get her family being here and everything, but I do get it. He was everything to you, he still is, and he’s just leaving you. When he asked me to come out here, I was instantly on your side. What did he expect? For you to be totally okay with it? I mean, eventually you will have to be, because he’s still your best friend, but for right now, you get to be a little mad.”
“So he did send you out here,” he says, completely missing everything else I said.
“Yes, but that’s not the point—”
I become mute when he suddenly pulls me into his chest, arms around my neck. I’m stiff and don’t know what to do. I am surprised. He’s supposed to be hating me, not hugging me. Do I hug back or…?
“Sorry,” he mutters, cheeks kind of pink as he pushes me back. He turns to the street and draws his knees up to his chest. “I just…I just kind of needed…” He glances at my shocked state, then sighs at the road and shakes his head. “Nothing. Sorry. I just…he’s fucking leaving me, you know. He’s been my rock. He saved me when I needed him the most. And now…now I have no one.” His voice shatters, and I think I see his eyes gloss over with tears.
“What about Rose?” I ask, swallowing a dry lump in my throat.
He looks at me and stares for a long time, brows knitted, lips pursed, and eyes roaming my face. I feel heated, like my lungs are being sucked dry by a vacuum.
“She isn’t mine, not really,” he finally says.
I nod and glance at the road, too nervous to hold his intense eyes. “Oh…”
“Yeah.” His voice hasn’t repaired itself. He’s breaking down, and I literally can’t just sit here and let it
happen without trying to coax him, even a little bit.
Damning his supposed hatred toward him and damning the boy waiting for me back at the house, I scoot over to him and throw my arms around his waist. I nuzzle my face in his neck’s crook, my hair covering him like a protective shield. He smells deeply of cologne and Clover cigarettes. He feels bigger beneath my small hands, more muscular. But he is still plush, and he is still huge, and he is still mine to take care of. Like a huge teddy bear that keeps ripping himself open, letting out cotton. I’ll always be there to stuff them back in and sew him back up. Always.
I tense for a second when I feel his arms slink around my own waist, but then I feel myself fall into his hold, like instinctual relief. I’m twisted so my chest is pressed into his, and his growing stubble scratches my collarbone. I giggle, and he bounces a little with his own deep laughter. I close my eyes shut and bask in the silent glow of his heavy scent, and his huge but soft arms, and the electricity running throughout my limbs like live snares.
Chapter Six
There was a breakthrough yesterday. It started when he said he actually wanted my help and for me to stay by his side. It really vaulted forward as we talked and joked like old times. It felt so good being able to see his adorable dimples pop into the conversation…but I felt like I was in heaven on earth when I hugged him…and he hugged me back. I honestly thought he’d just push me away and storm off. But he didn’t. He accepted my comfort and returned it.
And those few seconds that turned into whole minutes were beyond euphoric. He’s always been so tenacious when it comes to warding me off or showing any kind of affection he used to, so when I felt those strong arms wrap around me and heard him sigh in contentment, I nearly lost my mind.
Even though it is the next day, I can still remember everything. The quick beats of his heart drumming against my own. The distinct smell of cigarettes and cologne. His thick stubble rubbing against the crook of my neck each time he took a deep breath. The way he held me like he didn’t want to let go. Like if he did, the world would come crumbling down. And when we did let go, I actually felt my world crack a little.
“Heads up!” Charlotte calls out from beside me.
I quickly dodge to the side, barely missing the tennis ball. I watch as it bounces off the gate and rolls to the side. I pick it up, apologize, and hit it back over the net. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost had my head taken off. I wish there was a way I could get him out of my mind, even if it’s just for a second.
“Sorry,” I mutter, but she just shakes her head.
Today, my mother managed to drag her, me, and Noah to the country club. I’m surprised I’ve been able to avoid the place for so long. It could have been avoided the entire summer, but she pressed so hard for me to come. Unable to resist her stern persuasion, I agreed. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, though. Despite the few glances here and there after my reputation of being a fool for falling under the vile influences a “bad boy,” I haven’t been looked down at too badly. Too badly is them basically shunning me and my parents, which would put a first-class stamp on my trip to Nebraska.
Noah eyes me, and I feel so guilty. I must have stayed with Grey for maybe an hour, though it could have been less. When I’m with him, it’s like time has no meaning. Like I am in a time loop of his laughs and his dimples and his cigarette-soaked shirts and his messy black hair and his…everything. Thinking about it all now has me warm, and it’s definitely not because of the sun beating down on us as we play tennis.
It’s Charlotte and me against Noah and his father, Robert. He’s a nice man but a beast when it comes to tennis, which makes a lot of sense since he basically spends his summer in the lavish club. Charlotte didn’t want to come for the same reason as me—snobby tycoons—but Louise can be pretty persuasive when it comes down to it. Once she convinced me to take three AP classes instead of four, which was pretty hard to do, considering how much I love the hard work.
When we finish, I am out of breath and cramping up. We walk over to the shaded patio table, where my mother and Noah’s mother are chatting animatedly. A young girl rushes over from the sidelines and freshens their lemonades, then runs back to her post. I roll my eyes in slight disgust as they pay her no mind and drink from their sweating glasses, like their sparkling juice just came from God above and not a girl busting her butt to keep them satisfied.
“Who won?” Mother asks when she sees us walking up to the little table.
“Us, of course,” Noah says with a cocky smile as he wiggles his eyebrows at me. “There was no chance for them with me playing. I’m a champ at le tennis,” he jokes, but all I can give him is a distracted smile. His brows knit, and he smiles at me nervously. I look away and fiddle with my charms. I can’t look at him. Even though I didn’t do anything explicit with Grey, I still feel dirty. As though being next to Grey is enough to make me guilty of betraying him.
“I don’t think that should be something you should be bragging about,” Charlotte says with a playful roll of her eyes.
“My baby can’t help winning. It’s in his blood,” Gemma, his mother, coos, pinching his cheek.
“Jesus, Mom,” Noah groans cutely, scrunching up his face. “Don’t do that. It’s humiliating.”
“Oh, am I embarrassing you in front of your girlfriend?” she jokes, waggling her eyebrows. I see where he gets his teasing from. It’s in his DNA.
I can’t help but laugh at that, especially with his shy smile and pinkish cheeks.
“There’s always next time,” Mother says with a warm, suspecting smile as she lays a hand on my bare knee and rubs in a supposedly comforting way, but all it does is make me stiff and questioning. “Maybe you can show her some of your moves?”
I flush bright red and sit up. Her hand falls. “Mother,” I hiss in a low voice. She makes it sound like she wants him to have sex with me, like she’s my pimp or something. Gosh! She can be so damn shameless, so ruthless when it comes to my life that she just has to have control, or she’ll go insane.
“You know what I mean, sweetheart.” She laughs it off and looks at me as if I’m the one who’s lost her mind. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“What gutter?” I scoff, and she visibly grinds her teeth.
She’s probably mentally contemplating what I should wear on my way to Nebraska.
A thin layer of silence fills the sweltering air.
“But you were great at tennis once,” she continues, subtly narrowing her icy blue eyes. “You must have spent maybe three weeks training and beating your father, game after game.” She laughs, and I catch Charlotte glaring at her like she wants to strangle her, but I shake my head softly, and she makes a humph sound. “Maybe Noah here can refresh your skills.”
“Mother,” I warn.
“I think it’s a lovely idea, Elena,” his mother raves, clapping her white-laced gloves together with a shining white smile. “I always knew you two would end up together.” She sighs and brushes his hair out of his eyes while he rolls them at his mother’s touch. “But then she got wrapped up with that boy at university…”
“How is that any of your fucking business?” Charlotte finally snaps.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” Gemma snips.
“Calm down now, ladies,” Robert, Noah’s father, says with a light laugh that’s supposed to diffuse the tense atmosphere. But with the way everyone is glaring at one another, I don’t think it’s working quite as well as he hoped.
“You two have been growing very close. Why not throw a little more one-on-one in there?” Mother continues to publicly push Noah and me together.
This is why I haven’t told her we are together, because she’d jump up and begin arranging our wedding. But I’m just nineteen years old. I haven’t even finished college yet, but I see the heart eyes when I look at her, and I know I can’t divulge all a daughter is supposed to gush about with her mother. Sad, really. But it’s just how it has to be if I want to succee
d in the life I’ve planned for, and a career comes way before a family.
I push my chair back and stand. “I’m going to go take a shower.” I give Mother a look to back off. “I feel really sticky and gross after that grueling game. Thank you very much, Mr. Wells.” I playfully wink at him, and he clutches his heart. I giggle and send Noah a meaningful look for him to follow me and stalk off to the country club’s mansion, giving Charlotte an assuring shoulder squeeze.
When I get inside, I keep my head down to avoid all the pearl-wearing women’s judging eyes and the men’s gossip while on their way to the golf course. I swear, it’s like high school when it comes to these people. They look down at each other and put one another down as it is, but when it comes to us kids, the next generation in line for their pearls and Porsches, they act as if we can’t make a single mistake or we won’t be allowed to wield the golden country club access card. As if I’d actually want it. I’d burn it the second I got my hands on it. I wouldn’t want to voluntarily be involved in this conniving world of theirs.
I find myself at the massive inside pool. The water is brilliantly crystal and is surrounded by reflective glass walls and exquisite marble sculptures. There is also a large jacuzzi. But since today is such a nice day, most of the members are either on the golf course or at the racetrack near the club to watch the horses and throw money into gambling.
“Hey, you okay?”
I turn around. “No, Noah, I am not okay,” I reply, frustration sinking into my voice.
He frowns. I hate that my mother is the way she is. He’ll never be able to be with me without feeling overwhelmed. What boy would stick around with my mother progressively shoving us a million steps forward?
“I get it, your mother’s insane. Whose isn’t?” He chuckles, and his dangerously dark green eyes sparkle. “Mine still treats me like I’m twelve and need to wear a fucking bib.”
Grey: The Reconnection (Spectrum Series Book 4) Page 4