“Come on, Amanda, let’s be reasonable,” Jackson said. “Please, just wait for a minute and let’s talk about this.” He reached for her arm, but she yanked it away and continued down the sidewalk. “What’re you going to do?”
“It’s simple, really, I’m going to make a trade,” she said, still moving forward with her back to him.
“A trade?” Jackson had a bad feeling about this, and he hurried to catch up to Amanda, putting himself in her path so she was forced to stop. “What sort of trade?”
Her mind set, she let a small, less-than-convincing smile slide across her face. “If he agrees to let Whitney go, I’ll trade myself for her.” She pushed past him again, leaving Jackson to stare at her in horror.
Chapter 21
“The hell you will,” he shouted at her, losing control. “I don’t care what you think of me, or if I have to lock you in the house, but you are not going through with this crazy plan!”
“Nothing you can say will stop me, and if you don’t get out of my way, I’ll give you another bruise on your face,” she fought to get past him.
Jackson grabbed her by the arms, shaking her hard enough to rattle her teeth. “Amanda,” his voice was ragged with emotion. “Amanda, please don’t do this. I can’t let you go and I have no right to ask you to stay, but I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”
“Jackson, I don’t belong to you, and you’re right, you can’t ask me to stay,” she said, lowering her voice. “I appreciate your concern, but Whitney was the only friend I had, and I’m not going to just stand by and let Billy hurt her, or worse.”
“Amanda, you can’t go,” Jackson said, putting his hands up. “I’m putting my foot down.”
“What? Why? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just punch you in the face right now,” she yelled, not caring anymore who might hear them on this quaint little street in Perfectville.
“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot woman!” He shouted the words he’d meant to tell her in private, at a time when he was more sure of her feelings for him. They were the words he wanted to share with her in a tender moment, but he’d wanted to wait until he knew where she stood with God, and he certainly had wanted to wait until he wasn’t shouting at her.
Amanda was frozen in place, her mouth forming an O, and her hands were still fisted at her sides. “For crying out loud, Amanda, I just bared my soul to you—say something!” He stood there, not sure what she was thinking, and not sure how he’d expected her to react, but he certainly had not expected her next move.
The breath whooshed out of him as her fist plowed into his stomach, a solid punch for such a small woman. He looked up at her from his bent position, unable to catch his breath. She was still staring at him, but Jackson saw tears in her eyes before she turned and walked back to the house and slammed the door.
Jackson leaned against his car, still catching his breath when his phone started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. The name on the caller id had him laughing, the irony too much for him to take. Punching a button, he answered on the third ring.
“Clarissa, what a surprise,” he said, wondering at God’s sense of humor. Having just declared his undying love for Amanda, it only seemed fitting that the woman he thought he’d spend forever with was calling him now.
“Jackson, hello,” Clarissa said, her perfectly modulated voice sounding pleasant over the phone. “How are you doing?”
“Well, Clarissa, as a matter of fact, this really isn’t a good time,” Jackson said, trying not to sound flustered. In a perfect world, Jackson had wanted to share the special moment with Amanda, but he wanted to have it planned out, not a shouted declaration in the middle of an argument. Then, to top it all off, he couldn’t even hold her and celebrate their love. Instead, he was talking to his ex-girlfriend, which only brought on feelings of guilt.
“Oh? What’s going on, Jackson?” Clarissa was all concern, but he didn’t want to involve her because she had already had a difficult time because of his feelings for Amanda.
“Just a few things going on, and I sort of need to take care of them,” Jackson said impatiently, trying to catch his breath.
“Oh, okay, well I just wanted to call to ask a favor of you,” Clarissa said, sounding hurt. “Really, it’s just a little thing, Jackson. Do you know how I can get a hold of Amanda?”
Jackson felt terrible. It seemed like he couldn’t say or do anything without hurting Clarissa. He laughed ironically. “Actually, she’s staying here with my parents again,” he said, waiting for Clarissa’s criticism. Jackson was surprised for the second time in a single night.
“Really? That’s great!” Clarissa’s tone brightened perceptibly. “I’ll be over first thing in the morning. I’ve got to talk to her. I acted like such a jerk to her, and I feel terrible about it.”
“Rissa, it’s really not a good time,” he protested.
“Jackson, don’t get between two women and an apology,” Clarissa fussed. “Tell Amanda I’ll be over to pick her up for brunch at 10 in the morning. Love you, Jack!” Her former parting phrase slipped out automatically before she could stop it. “Um, I’m sorry, I mean goodbye, Jack.”
Jackson was sure her face was a pretty shade of crimson right about now, but he let her off the hook. “Okay, goodbye, Rissa.” That woman is on a mission. When Clarissa Black was on a mission, it was best to get out of her way. That’s when she would steamroll anyone who got in front of her.
He figured he’d better go inside and confront Amanda, first to tell her about Clarissa’s impending visit and then to make sure she wasn’t going through with her ridiculous plan.
“Chuck, we can’t interfere,” Laura said in a hushed voice. The two were whispering quietly in their bedroom. Arguing was more like it, and Laura was determined to win.
It seemed like there was a theme of female domination going on against the Brennan men. Chuck was not one to let Laura win easily, and this was more important than the little things they usually got snippy about.
“All I’m saying is that we cannot let Amanda go back there,” Chuck said. “Look what happened to the two of us—she’s smart and quick, but she’s outnumbered. There has to be a different way to get word to her friend about the danger she’s in.”
“But Chuck, this is something that has to be hashed out between Jack and Amanda,” Laura insisted. “I don’t want to see her hurt either, but just because she’s living here doesn’t mean we get to tell her what to do.”
“The hell we don’t,” Chuck said, surprising Laura with his vehemence. He stood up from where they’d been talking on the edge of the bed. “I have a feeling that little girl is going to be around for a long time, and I’ve gotten rather attached. I’m not willing to let her turn herself into a martyr just to save someone else.”
“But don’t you see,” Laura pushed. “This is just what God did for her, and I really think she needs to see that. I think she use to be there, right with God, but whatever happened back at home soured her against the whole situation. She’s willing to do this for her friend, and she needs to see that’s exactly what Christ did for her.”
Chuck could see her point, but he still wasn’t willing to allow Amanda to put herself in that kind of danger. They’d heard most of the shouting match between Jackson and Amanda through their open window, including Jackson’s declaration of love.
Hearing his son’s admission sent Chuck into overdrive, and he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of his future daughter-in-law throwing herself into such a dangerous position, never mind the fact that she’d come from that life just a few short weeks ago.
“Well, I think they’ve settled things for the time being,” Laura said, coming up beside Chuck. “I don’t think she’s going anywhere tonight.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, the love she’d had for him for 42 years even stronger than it had been the day she’d married him. She loved him for his protective nature, despite his gruff appear
ance.
She heard the front door open and close again and she turned to leave. “Laura,” Chuck said quietly. She stopped, turning back toward the man she’d loved since she was 14. “That’s our future daughter out there, I just know it.”
“I feel the same way,” she said sweetly, but she shook her head and quietly left the room.
He loves me, he really said that. And I went and sucker punched him. She’d thrown herself on the bed after shutting the door behind her. She’d helped Laura prepare supper earlier and it was in the crock pot, but she didn’t feel like eating right now. She was experiencing twin feelings of giddiness and anger over both Jackson’s declaration of love and his insistence on keeping her from helping Whitney.
How could he tell her what to do? How could he believe she would just sit there at the house like a good little girl while her only friend in the world was about to make the ultimate payment for Amanda’s choices. Whitney had no idea what was coming and Amanda felt trapped.
Speaking of trapped, Jackson had looked like a trapped animal when he’d admitted his feelings for her at the top of his lungs. He’d said the words, or rather shouted them, but it was hard to feel all warm and squishy inside when she remembered he’d only really said them because he was so frustrated. How long would he have waited to share his love with her if they hadn’t argued? Would he ever have said anything at all? She knew he was still struggling with her decision to have the abortion, but hey, she was still upset about it too.
Pushing thoughts of the abortion aside, she focused on the situation at hand. She heard Jackson talking to Laura in the hallway, followed by a knock on her door. “Amanda, it’s Jack,” he said. “Can we talk? Please, I just want to talk, not try to convince you to stay or go.”
Amanda was off the bed and about to open the door before she pulled herself up short, reminding herself to play it cool. He was the one who was exposed, his feelings laid out for her to examine. She’d made no such declarations, and she wouldn’t be saying anything anytime soon.
Leaning against the door, she listened to the voice she’d come to love. She couldn’t face him right now, because she couldn’t decide if she was going to shout at him some more or jump into his arms and kiss him silly.
“Amanda, are you awake?” She heard his sigh, followed by his footsteps retreating down the hall. She turned to lean her back against the door as she played with the necklace Jackson had rescued for her.
She had to get to Whitney, there was just no way she could stand it if something terrible happened to her because of the choices Amanda had made. She sat on the bed to think. When she figured it out, she began to put her plan into action.
An hour later, Amanda heard a knock at the door again. She was prepared to ignore it again, but then she heard Laura’s voice. “Amanda, honey, I brought you some supper,” Laura said.
Amanda opened the door and Laura brought in a tray of steaming veggies and lean ham, complete with a biscuit and some honey butter. She set the tray down on the desk, but she didn’t miss Amanda’s sudden movement to cover the slip of paper on the desk. Nonchalantly, Amanda slid a book over the paper, but not before Laura saw the first few sentences.
Pretending not to notice Amanda’s movement or the letter, Laura turned to face her. “How are you doing, hon?” Laura took her hand in the all-too-familiar manner. “I’m not going to pretend we didn’t hear you and Jack arguing, but I won’t try to tell you what to do.”
Relaxing, Amanda squeezed the older woman’s hand before sitting at the desk. “This looks delicious,” she said, ignoring Laura’s question.
“Amanda,” Laura said, her tone requiring a response. Damn, how can she do that to me already? Amanda was afraid she couldn’t keep her mouth shut if she started talking.
“I’m fine, Laura,” she said, purposefully stuffing her mouth with the ham. Laura didn’t miss the way Amanda was dressed in her original little mini skirt and sheer top, and she also noticed the pink heels had made a reappearance.
“I hope you know how much we care,” Laura said. “We’d hate to see you hurt, but I understand how you feel about your friend.”
“I’m sorry, but what do you know about my life, or about having only one friend in the whole world,” Amanda questioned, some of her brazenness returning. It must be the heels, because Amanda felt more like herself than she had in days. Standing, she towered over Laura. “You live here in the perfect suburbs and have your perfect lives and you have no clue what life is like in the real world.”
As soon as she said the words, Amanda wished she could take them back, but despite the hurt she saw in Laura’s eyes, the older woman refused to back down. She drew herself up to her full five feet, which was plenty shy of meeting Amanda eye to eye.
“Amanda, Jackson told me what you want to do, and although I’m not in favor of it because of the danger it presents to you, I do admire your plan,” Laura smiled. “You’re willing to lay down your life for your friend, and I think we both know what that means for you if you do.” She looked pointedly at Amanda.
Amanda looked away, unable to maintain eye contact with the mother of the man she was in love with. She felt like Laura could see into her soul and she’d been stripped bare.
“Whitney and I covered for each other,” Amanda said. “She may not have been the best friend in the world if I had been living any other life, but she was there for me.”
Laura squeezed her arm before leaving the room without another word. Amanda was left with her thoughts and her vegetables. Forking up a piece of perfectly steamed broccoli, she considered Laura’s words.
Hours later, Amanda listened for any noises in the house. She’d heard Jackson leave earlier, although he’d knocked on her door again one more time before finally giving up for the day. The hallway was dark as she tiptoed from the bedroom.
Amanda entered the kitchen and felt along the wall for the keys to Chuck’s car. She’d seen them hanging on a peg near the doorway earlier that evening. She felt the keys just moments before they dropped to the floor with a loud jangle. “Dammit,” she said, reaching down to feel around for the keys.
Finding them, she stood to her feet just in time to realize Laura was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee cooling next to her.
“Oh, Laura, my god, you scared me half to death,” Amanda shrieked, grabbing her chest in surprise.
“Where are you going Amanda?” Laura sipped her coffee calmly while she watched Amanda’s struggle to come up with a story in the shadows.
“I’m going back,” Amanda said simply. “I’ll bring Chuck’s car back, I promise.”
“I could care less about the car,” Laura said, her hand rock steady as she returned the mug to the table. “I’m more interested in the sweet little note you were going to leave for my son before you left. How were you going to explain this to him?”
“Laura, we’ve talked about this,” Amanda started. “I can’t just leave Whitney.”
“You know better than any of us what that man is capable of, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you go off and get yourself killed,” Laura said.
Amanda’s shock was evident in the slump of her shoulders. “Jack would never forgive me if I let you sneak away in the middle of the night,” Laura continued.
Amanda sat at the table, defeated. She’d never thought Laura was a pushover, but she was seeing a whole new side of the woman. “Why do you care so much?” Amanda questioned.
“My son cares about you,” Laura began. “Chuck already thinks of you like a daughter, and I care because I believe God wants you back.”
“Wow, you’ve really got a screw loose,” Amanda laughed. “God wants me back, huh?”
“Amanda, I know you’ve had a rough couple of years, maybe made a few bad decisions, but deep down, I know this isn’t who you really are,” Laura said, once again covering Amanda’s hand with her own. “You wouldn’t treat me with the respect you do if you hadn’t been brought up right. You wouldn’t be so
worried about a friend, or so concerned about Jack. Don’t you see? You want to help your friend so much you’re willing to give up your own life to save hers. That is exactly what Christ did for you.”
“Laura, you know what, you’re right, I’ve heard all this before, and there was a time when I might’ve believed it, but now I’ve seen enough of people to know it’s a bunch of crap,” Amanda sneered.
“Really? Crap?” Laura leaned forward, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight shining through the window. “Then why did Jack risk his neck to go back to your place, and why did Chuck jump right in to help?”
“Jack has a thing for me, I get it, that’s why I’m so good at what I do,” Amanda said. “Chuck just went along because he loves his son.” Sighing, she stood again.
“Jack has more than a thing for you, but I’ll have you know that he would’ve come back for you even if he thought you were the ugliest thing on the planet, because he knows that God thinks otherwise about you,” Laura informed Amanda, rising when she did. “It wasn’t his guilt that brought him back to look for you or sent him to your place to get your stuff. It was his belief that God has bigger and better plans for your life.”
Amanda just shook her head. She didn’t want to get into this again and dredge up her past, those days of Sunday School and dresses and memorizing verses, but she couldn’t help one that popped into her head: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Thinking suddenly of the choices she’d made, including the most recent choice to end her baby’s life, she figured there were some sins that were beyond even God’s love. “Laura, I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” Amanda said. “Really, I do, but it won’t work, because it’s too late for me. I made some choices that can’t be undone.”
Hot Pink Heels (The Street Series) Page 14