Amanda nodded in agreement. She wasn’t sure if now was the right time to say something, so again she kept quiet. “It wasn’t right from the start—I mean, Jack was wonderful, he’s always been very sweet and attentive. The problem was that where I was falling hard and I felt sparks fly whenever I was near him, I could tell it wasn’t the same for him,” Clarissa admitted.
“I forced it, and there wasn’t another woman in the picture that he was attracted to, so it really wasn’t an issue,” she said. “I got butterflies in my stomach when he would call, or smile at me, or take my hand, but he never even tried to go beyond that. No kisses except the very safe peck on the cheek or lips.”
Amanda was reeling. If Jackson was so tightly reined with Clarissa, a beautiful and desirable woman, what did it mean that he could so easily lose control with Amanda?
She steered her thoughts back to the woman in front of her. “So, I knew it was forced, but I clung to it, especially after my parents died, because I had no one to turn to,” Clarissa said. “I thought for awhile after that that maybe there was a future there, because he was so much more attentive, he would hold my hand more, brush my cheek, he spent all of his free time with me.”
“I see now that I was wrong,” Clarissa sighed. “I was living in denial, in love with the man who considered me his best friend and nothing else. He was there for me through the hardest part of my life, and I refused to let him go.”
Amanda’s thoughts were whirling. What did she do with this information? She felt like she should apologize, but she wasn’t sure if she would offend Clarissa by apologizing when Clarissa was apologizing to her.
“That night, when I saw him look at you from the podium, I knew,” Clarissa said. “I knew he wasn’t mine anymore, and it was time to face the music and let him go, but I certainly screwed it up with my jealousy.”
“It’s okay, Clarissa,” Amanda said, unwilling to hear the poor woman put herself through anymore of this. Clarissa stopped her with a hand held up.
“Please just let me get this all out, and then I hope that we can actually become friends,” the other woman said. “I said some terrible things to you that night, and I am sorry for all of them. I did mean them at the time, but it was just my jealousy talking and I seriously regret everything I said, including the fact that I called you a hooker to Jack’s face.”
Amanda nearly laughed out loud at that last admission, but Clarissa’s next sentence was her undoing. “Amanda, would you please, please forgive me for all the horrible things I said to you, and about you and all the things I thought about you? I know I don’t deserve it, but I really would like to get to know you better. I don’t have a single friend in the world other than Jack and I’d hate to think that you might be in his life forever and we can’t consider each other friends.”
Forever? What was she talking about? There’s no way Jack would marry someone like me. Amanda was still in shock over the apology, but she could see Clarissa drilling her with that pitiful look as she waited for Amanda’s response.
“Clarissa, I’m not sure what to say, I’ve never had anyone ask me to forgive them, ever,” Amanda said slowly. “But of course I do forgive you, although I think you reacted the way I certainly would have in the same situation, except I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have used such nice words!” She laughed, which had Clarissa smiling a bit.
“As far as calling me a hooker,” Amanda said, causing Clarissa to suck in a breath. “I am a hooker. It’s what I do, so if you were trying to insult me, you need to come up with something better than that.”
Clarissa’s eyes were huge, but when Amanda burst out laughing, she joined in, breaking the tension between the two women. “I don’t know how long I’ll be around,” Amanda admitted. “But as long as I am, I would love to have a girlfriend to confide in, if you don’t think it would be too weird with the way we met.”
“Absolutely not,” Clarissa said. “I’m not over Jack, but I know he’s not the one God has for me, so it won’t bother me to see you with him, because he has been my best friend for so long, I truly just want him to be happy.”
“Well, I think you’re jumping the gun a little, because there is no relationship between me and Jack, but I appreciate the words and the offer,” said Amanda.
“Now, tell me what’s going on with the two of you,” Clarissa said conspiratorially. “Jack told me when I called last night that things weren’t going so well and I could only assume he meant between the two of you.”
Armed with half a plan, Jackson steered his car toward his parents’ house, ready to set things in motion. If only he had something solid to set in motion. He was hoping his dad could help him with the rest of the idea that had been forming in his mind since earlier in the afternoon, but first he hoped it was homemade pizza night.
He pulled into the driveway before he realized Rissa’s car was parked at the curb in front of his parents’ house. Strange, he thought. Their little brunch should’ve been over hours ago.
When he pushed open the front door, he heard something he’d been missing for almost two years: his mother’s laughter. But it wasn’t just Laura, he heard his dad’s booming chuckle and two other feminine voices.
As Jackson stepped into the kitchen, he almost dropped the two-liter soda he was carrying. There was Clarissa, sitting very close to Amanda as she whispered something in her ear. Amanda burst out laughing and Clarissa joined in.
He felt like he’d stepped into the twilight zone. Chuck and Laura were sitting next to each other, sharing a glass of wine and laughing over something Chuck had said. It was like old times, when Clarissa had come over to hang out with him and Melanie. Like a knife to the heart, he felt the loss of his sister all over again, despite the fact that he was glad to see Amanda enjoying herself.
Amanda looked up to see Jackson’s face and immediately stood up and went to him. She touched his arm lightly, wanting to do more, but she felt awkward in front of Clarissa and his parents. “What’s the matter?” She asked.
Shaking his head to jog his mind, Jackson looked at her. “Nothing really, it just reminds me of old times, when Mel was here,” he said with a raspy voice. Everyone stopped and the look on his mom’s face said everything.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a party pooper,” Jackson said. “I just didn’t know there was a party. And since when are the two of you BFF’s?” He looked pointedly at Clarissa.
She giggled. Clarissa giggled. He didn’t think he’d ever heard her make that sound, even before her parents died. Then again, he’d never seen her hang around with another woman near her age.
“Wow, did I step into a time warp?” Jackson laughed, finally catching up with everyone else as he grabbed a seat. He put the soda on the table, which had Laura jumping up for cups and ice. “Please tell me that’s your homemade pizza I smell, mom.”
“Actually, Clarissa and Amanda made it, and I just supervised,” Laura said with a grin at her son’s obvious confusion. “You did say you wanted me to get some help with the cooking and cleaning, right? I felt like it would strain these old bones too much to cook your favorite mushroom, Swiss and artichoke pizza, so the girls did it for me, thank goodness.”
“Okay, I don’t know what happened today, but I’m just gonna go with it,” Jackson said with a grin at Amanda and Clarissa. “Mostly because I’m starving, and I don’t want to do anything to upset the cooks.”
Clarissa was the first to get up when the timer went off a few moments later, and Amanda grabbed the paper plates. The two worked together like they’d been best friends all their lives, much to Jackson’s surprise.
When all five of them were around the table, Chuck blessed the food, asking for safety for Whitney. Amanda was still uncomfortable, but she sat quietly with one hand held in Jackson’s warm one and the other in Clarissa’s well-manicured hand.
They attacked the pizza like ravenous animals, but Clarissa wiped her mouth after the first bite. “Now, let’s talk about what we’re going to
do to help Whitney,” she said to the surprise of nearly everyone at the table.
Chapter 24
No one said anything as they all stared at Clarissa. “What? Surely you don’t think you can pull off a rescue without my money and expertise,” she said, feigning a snooty air as she raised one eyebrow and adopted a British accent.
“Well, we wouldn’t have thought you would be the first to jump in and volunteer,” Jackson said. “But we probably could use all the help we can get. However, we really need prayers for this to work out.”
“Done,” Clarissa said. “I’ve called everyone at the foundation and asked them to put it on the list—we have a sort of prayer chain at my foundation,” she said in an aside to Amanda. “I’ve spent time praying about this and I know that prayer is important, but what God has told me as I was praying is that it’s time for me to get involved. I have a plan, and before any of you blow it out of the water, just agree to hear me out, okay?”
Four pairs of eyes were focused on her, but they were so stunned they could not respond. “Well?” Clarissa raised both eyebrows now and adopted her business “I-won’t-take-your-crap” attitude, and suddenly they were tripping over each other to respond.
“Of course, Chuck and I are happy that you want to help,” Laura trilled.
“Clarissa, you’re one in a million,” Chuck said with a smile.
“You don’t have to do this,” Amanda protested.
“You’re out of your mind,” Jackson snapped.
“Good, now that I have your attention, let’s get down to business,” Clarissa said. She began to outline her plan, and Amanda could do little more than sit back in wonder as her newfound friend took charge of the situation. Jackson’s jaw was working in frustration, but he kept silent.
“Here’s what we need to do,” Clarissa began. “Amanda has shared some of the details of the situation with me, and this is what I feel is the best idea. I will welcome any suggestions at the end, but please just listen for now. We need to get Whitney out, but we don’t want Amanda to be put in danger. Billy knows Jack’s car as well as Chuck’s because of the incident last night, and she told me you were originally driving Harry’s car the night you met, correct?” She looked at Jackson for confirmation. Sighing, he nodded.
“Okay, so in order to get Whitney out, we have to get someone else in,” Clarissa said. “Someone Billy doesn’t recognize, and there has to be a plausible situation in order for him to fall for the plan. Amanda has also shared with me some of the ways the women have come to ah, work for Billy.”
“Rissa, I don’t like where this is going,” Jackson growled. “There is no way you are getting involved in this.”
“Jack, I’m not your girlfriend, and I don’t need your permission,” she stated simply. Amanda’s jaw dropped and Chuck hid a snicker, but she continued on. “I have hundreds of people at my disposal, and I don’t need your help with this—we can and will do this without you if that’s what it takes. But I am asking for your help, friend to friend.”
He dropped his head and motioned for her to continue. “Okay,” Clarissa went on. “In order to get close to Whitney, we have to be either one of the girls or a client, but we don’t have a lot of control over which girl will get to the car first when someone pulls up, right Amanda?”
Amanda agreed. “Whichever girl is the most desperate,” she said, winking at Jackson. He just shook his head, his opinion on the whole matter evident by the look on his face.
“So, what we really need is to get a girl in there, and fast,” Clarissa said, eyeing everyone in the room as the bombshell began to sink in. One by one they all reacted just the way she expected they would.
“Out of the question,” Jackson shouted, pushing his chair back and pacing the floor.
“But honey, surely you don’t mean…” Laura trailed off as it dawned on her. She grabbed Chuck’s hand for support.
“Clarissa, you’ve been like a daughter to us, and there is no way we can let you do this,” Chuck said.
“You are either a genius or the world’s biggest idiot,” Amanda chimed in.
“Good, then it’s settled,” Clarissa said with a look of satisfaction. “I’ll make the arrangements and we should be able to pull this off tonight.”
Clarissa and Amanda started to head off toward Amanda’s bedroom, whispering plans about clothing and shoes, but Jackson stopped them in the hall. “Clarissa, we need to talk,” he said. “Alone.”
Amanda shrugged and moved on toward the bedroom, closing the door to give them some privacy. She couldn’t help herself though, so she leaned against the bedroom door, straining to catch part of the conversation.
“No, Jack, this isn’t up to you,” Clarissa said. “Amanda obviously means a lot to you, so we clearly cannot allow her to walk straight into such a dangerous situation. You and your dad can’t just pull up and snatch her right off the street. The safest thing to do is to send me in.”
Amanda couldn’t quite hear Jackson’s reply, but it obviously wasn’t a pleasant one. “Don’t you see, this makes the most sense!” Clarissa argued back. “I’ll use my dad’s Ferrari, it certainly could stand to be driven and it will definitely get attention, and if Harry is in agreement, he can pull off the part of the boyfriend dumping me at the curb, where hopefully Billy will be waiting to sweep me into his arms and rescue me.”
Amanda shook her head at Jackson’s response. It certainly wasn’t something she’d thought she’d hear from a pastor’s mouth, but then again, Jackson wasn’t like any other pastor she’d ever known. He was real, and he could admit when he was wrong. She thought about that for a moment before another thought came to her.
Clarissa was willing to take her place, and there was the very real possibility that she could be seriously injured or worse. Why would she do that for me? Amanda was lost in her thoughts when she heard Clarissa’s voice get louder.
“Weren’t you the one that was spouting all about how we need to get more involved in the community when you were trying to drum up support for your warehouse project?” Clarissa was certainly not going to give in, Amanda realized.
“Well, this is the way God is telling me to do it, and I’m scared to death, but I’m more scared of not doing what he tells me to do than I am of what could happen to me on those streets,” Clarissa said, calming slightly. “Are you going to argue against that?”
Although Amanda couldn’t hear his response, she heard Clarissa’s footsteps getting closer. She moved away from the door to sit quickly at the desk, pretending she hadn’t heard Clarissa’s side of the conversation.
“Ugh, that man,” Clarissa said. “He can be so pigheaded sometimes!”
“Why?” Amanda asked simply, but Clarissa misunderstood her question.
“Why? I don’t know why he is like that,” Clarissa said. “I guess that’s just how men are.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Amanda said. “Why are you doing this for me? The lunch, the friendship, putting yourself in danger, all of it. Why are you doing it?”
Clarissa stopped pacing to look at Amanda. “Why? I’m doing it because God wants me to, and because I believe he wants you for something bigger,” Clarissa said. “Whatever happens to me, I don’t have any family that can be affected by it, other than Jack’s family. There’s no one to mourn my loss if something should go wrong. But you, well, I believe you and Jack belong together, and God…” she broke off on a sob.
Amanda stood, putting her hand on Clarissa’s shoulder, confused as to why Clarissa was suddenly in tears. Clarissa waved her off, trying to continue. “I had a dream last night,” she said, her throat thick with unshed tears. “In the dream, you were there with Jack, and you were holding a baby. Your baby. Jack’s baby. I knew it was just how it was suppose to be, so you see, I love Jack enough to want his happiness above my own. And I love God enough to know he wants me to do this for you both.”
Clarissa turned away, attempting to regain control, while Amanda just stood there
, numb. She’d just had her mind blown. Clarissa was willing to do the unthinkable, to take her place and face a possible beating or worse, for her, just because it was the right thing to do. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a verse from her childhood struggled to break through the years of lies, sex, fighting and hurt.
“Christ died for us, according to the scriptures…” Wasn’t that somewhere in the Bible? Amanda couldn’t remember, but she clearly saw the connection between what Christ did for everyone and what Clarissa was willing to do for her.
“Thank you,” Amanda said simply. She didn’t know what else to say, and her emotions were welling up in her so strongly she was afraid she herself would cry, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to let her guard down quite that much in front of Clarissa just yet. “Excuse me for a minute,” Amanda said abruptly, and then she hurried from the room.
Jackson was nowhere to be seen, but Amanda wasn’t looking for him. She knew just what she was looking for, and she thought she’d finally found it. Shutting herself in the bathroom, she sat on the edge of the bathtub with the Bible that had been lying on the desk in her room.
Flipping to the back of the Bible, she looked for the words she remembered, hoping to find a verse to jog her memory. Gift, there it was, and it had Romans 6:23 beside it. She began paging through the back of the Bible, sure she was on the right track.
Romans. Ha, I remembered, Amanda thought, strangely pleased with herself. It’s in the New Testament. Okay, chapter six, oh shoot, what verse was it again? She’d let the pages of the index fall shut, so she decided she would just skim through the chapter from the beginning.
Here it is! Amanda had no idea why she felt so giddy when she located the verse, but she read through it several times, letting the meaning sink in: “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Hot Pink Heels (The Street Series) Page 16