by Regine Abel
I’m so pathetic…
“That’s enough for today, Falihna.” I gave her a towel and a bottle of water.
“But… I have so much to learn. I’m still good to go.” Amalia said with the prettiest pout.
“Yes, you do. And no, you’re not. You won’t learn everything in one day. You need to give your body a chance to absorb what it learned and you don’t want to overtax yourself.”
She bared her teeth at me and hissed before snagging the bottle of water from my hands. I frowned at her. Yesterday was the first time I had seen her hiss that way when Lhor playfully tried to steal her dessert. Those two were always playing pranks on each other, so I didn’t think much of it. Today, she’d done it multiple times, especially while we fought. She snapped her teeth at me when I tried to take the sword from her. She would’ve broken skin had I not pulled my arm out of the way.
The bottle drained, Amalia turned to face me, noticing my troubled stare. “What?” she demanded, her stance belligerent.
“That,” I said calmly, gesturing toward her.
“That what?” She looked at herself for some hint as to my meaning.
“Do you hear how aggressive you sound right now? How often you’ve hissed at me today and at Lhor yesterday? How you almost bit my arm off earlier simply because I wanted to take the sword from you? What’s going on, my heart? This is unlike you.”
At first, she looked outraged. But the minute I mentioned her hissing, she stilled and took on that expression one has when trying hard to remember something. Then she paled. That got me worried.
“Oh Goddess!” she whispered, looking horrified. “I’m so sorry Khel. You’re right, that’s not me. I just… Please tell me you have Rehmannia leaves here?”
“Rema… what?” I asked, confused.
“Rehmannia leaves…” she repeated, the hope in her eyes fading.
“I… I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a plant. We can check with Jhola. Why?”
“I need it. That’s why I’m like this.”
I blinked. What did that have to do with anything? She sighed then started growling in annoyance at my obvious failure to get whatever point she was trying to make. Realizing what she was doing, she stopped.
“See?” She threw up her arms. “This is why I need it. It will stop me acting so aggressively. I need some right now before it gets worse.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Did she hide something else from me? Did she have some sort of condition I knew nothing about?
“Before what gets worse?” I snapped. “What haven’t you told me this time?”
Her face hardened in anger and she raised her palm, gesturing for me to stop. “Hey! Don’t start on me. It’s not like that. I’m not hiding anything. It’s just stuff we’re not supposed to talk about.”
“What the fuck are you not supposed to talk about?” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.
She stared at me with that ‘how can you be so dense’ look, which only irritated me further.
“Female stuff,” she snarled back, crossing her arms in aggravation.
“Female…? Oh!”
Oooooh right! Way to go, Khel.
“Yeah, oh!” she retorted, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Khel, meet foot. Foot, meet mouth.
“Right, uh, I’m sure Jhola can get you any accessory required.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t need accessories. I’m not human, I don’t make messes. I just need the leaves to keep my aggression under control during my season.”
“Season? Is that what females call it now?” I wondered if I had a death wish. Yep, that glare told me she probably would have skewered me if she still had a sword.
“I’m not human nor am I Xelixian. I’m Veredian. I don’t have what they have. Entering my season means I’m going into heat. For the next twenty days, I’ll be the most fertile. But that also makes me aggressive and territorial. The only way to control the symptoms is with Rehmannia tea. I need the leaves unless you want me snarling and hissing at people for the next three weeks.”
My brain stopped listening somewhere between ‘heat’ and ‘most fertile.’ Images of a plump little Veredian girl giggling as I tossed her playfully in the air filled my mind. Amalia and I hadn’t spoken of starting a family. Females could use contraceptives during the Trial. Afterwards, they were expected – but not obligated – to try to give as many offspring as possible to their mate. A refusal, whatever the reasons, was one of the few cases where a male was allowed to ask for the dissolution of his Fastening. I wouldn’t pressure her into anything, but Goddess I hoped she was as eager as I to start our family.
I walked up to her, staring at her stomach. I placed my hands on her waist, letting my thumbs gently caress the sides of her flat belly.
“You’ll be able to conceive for the next few weeks?”
She licked her lips nervously, then acquiesced with two quick nods. I smiled and the tension seemed to drain out of her shoulders.
“Well, I’m always able to conceive, but the probability greatly increases during my season,” she said, her eyes flicking between mine.
“My heart, I know we haven’t discussed starting a family yet, and I understand you might want to wait until the Trial is over—”
“Forget the Trial. I already told you, I made my choice and it’s you. You’re mine and I’m yours unless you decide you no longer want me. My vows were final on the day I pronounced them. The question is, do you want to have daughters with me?”
“Yes!” I replied with a slow grin. “I want a swarm of little Amalias running around the house, driving Lhor and Ghan crazy.”
She giggled, her eyes filled with mischief. “Don’t think you’ll be off the hook. I’ll teach them how to drive their father crazy too. It will be the Praghan girls’ domination!”
I smiled at the image. “Well then, I’ll need to get a boy or two in the mix for backup, and to continue the bloodline.”
She stilled and her smile faded.
Uh oh?
“Khel… I can’t give you an heir,” she said carefully. “My Nana had daughters. My mom had daughters. I will have daughters. Remember what I told you about Veredian history? We’re extinct because we cannot birth living males.”
How the fuck could I have forgotten that?
My heart sank, then broke as her face crumpled with shame, sadness and what I could only interpret as despair. There was no question I wanted an heir. By law, I could repudiate her on those grounds. Her oxytocin all but made me a Prime. With my wealth, status and newfound health, for the first time, I was pretty much guaranteed to be chosen at the next Fastening. However, the thought of discarding her in favor of another was repulsive. It wasn’t just out of gratitude over the fact that I lived and kept my lands thanks to her. I genuinely cared for Amalia and couldn’t picture a life without her anymore. But was I ready to let my bloodline die for her?
Amalia wrapped her arms around her midsection, her head bent. “If… if you wish to… to cast me aside… I under—”
“Stop it!” I said. “Remember the part about ‘you’re mine and I’m yours?’ Well, that works both ways.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, searching. I grabbed both her hands and held them against my chest.
“Falihna… You’re everything to me. Yes, I want an heir and yes, I’m heartbroken to hear it’s not meant to be. But I want you above all. If that means female offspring only, then so be it.”
She embraced me and rubbed her face against my neck. I loved when she did that. She always did it when she was overwhelmed with emotion, usually as a sign of affection for me.
“I need those leaves, Khel,” she whispered against my neck. “I don’t want to maim you while we work on Praghan girl number one.”
“Does it really get that bad?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, to be honest. Since my twenty-first birthday, my Nana always made sure I drank some right before my season started. We don’t have
seasons before that, though we are fertile after puberty. She didn’t want to risk me going after the crewmembers.”
Yeah, bad visual. “But, it’s not a contraceptive, right?”
“No, it’s not,” she reassured me. “I cannot wait to hold our offspring in my arms.”
“Well then, maybe we should start working on it?” I offered with a meaningful stare.
She giggled and nodded with a naughty smile. I lifted my mate in my arms and carried her to our room. I wouldn’t have an heir, but our daughters would ‘kick ass and take names’ as Amalia so eloquently put it.
Why can’t my daughters be my heirs? They’re my bloodline too…
The thought hit me out of nowhere and made me pause midstride on the stairs leading to the sleeping quarters.
“Khel?” Amalia inquired, slightly worried.
“It’s nothing, my heart,” I said with a predatory grin. “Let’s go make some beautiful baby girls.”
CHAPTER 20
Amalia
Dr. Volghan spent the night at the estate to look after the human Khel captured. I suspected the doctor’s overnight stay was really about convincing us to submit to his tests. Considering Volghan saved my life, the least I could do was comply. I went to the medical facility in the compound.
“Seha Praghan! You honor me!” He placed a hand over his heart and bowed in the Xelixian fashion.
I returned the greeting. “Dr. Volghan, please call me Amalia. I’m not much for formalities.”
“Of course, Amalia,” he said with a wide grin. “Then I must insist you call me Minh or doc, like your infamous mate often does.”
I took an instant liking to Minh. Just like Sivh, he had that aura that said he would spoil you to death if he were your Nono – firm, but indulgent.
“So… Khel said you wanted to poke and prod me?”
He cringed. “Nothing so dramatic. I would simply like to ask you a few questions and get some blood and fluid samples from you.”
“For now,” I said sarcastically.
He had the courtesy to look embarrassed. Volghan asked me a bunch of questions. The answers all came down to yes, like Khel, I was feeling enhanced; stronger, faster and my night vision had increased in range and precision. He pricked my finger with a stylus similar to the one Fihn used prior to the Selection. The doctor frowned while examining the readings from the stylus.
“What is it?” I leaned forward to look at the results.
“How are you feeling emotionally?”
“I’m fine. Why?”
“Your level of serotonin is very low, while your oxytocin is extremely high.” He looked at my blood work from a few days ago on his datapad. “Those readings are abnormal and should push you to emotional extremes, from excessive sadness to extreme joy, to intense aggression. You haven’t had any of these symptoms?”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, that. Well, yeah, kind of...”
“Kind of?” He raised an eyebrow at me.
I sighed in annoyance, holding back the urge to hiss. Maybe I should walk around with a sign on my forehead reading ‘Hormonal for the next few weeks. Please fuck off!’ Somehow, I didn’t think Lhor would approve. The thought made me snicker internally. I needed to find a new prank to pull on him when he least expected it.
“I’m entering my season. Which means my hormones will be all over the place for the next three weeks since I’m in my reproductive peak. It messes with my emotions and tends to make me more aggressive unless I have Rehmannia tea. But it appears there’s none to be had around here. Khel has ordered some but it will take a few days to arrive.”
He smiled. “Ah! That explains it. So, have you and Khel discussed offspring?”
“With all due respect doc, that’s none of your business,” I said, trying not to sound as aggressive as I felt. I was still raw from the knowledge I couldn’t give Khel a son. I was in no mood to talk about it with a stranger, even one as kind as Minh.
He bowed his head in apology. “I don’t mean to pry. But if you’re planning on starting a family soon, we need to discuss a few things to ensure as few complications as possible.”
“Things like what?”
“You already know about eating ryspak,” Minh said. “Our young also require frequent contact with their sire during the pregnancy. We’re not psi, but Xelixian fetuses who grow without such interaction have significantly lower cerebral development. Khel should also inject you with small doses of venom once every other day. It strengthens the baby’s immune system and boosts its growth.”
“Ok.” I was intrigued by the need for contact with the father. It was a psi trait. I wondered at the Xelixians’ genetic heritage. That could also explain Khel and Lhor being Geminates.
“So… are you?”
I gave him the look that he answered with the sweetest, most innocent smile. How could I possibly resist that?
“Yes, we are,” I said through my teeth. “You have no shame, doc!”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His face then took on a more serious expression. I knew what was coming.
“Is Khel aware that…”
“Yes,” I interrupted. “He knows we can’t have males.”
He nodded sympathetically but seemed pleased we had addressed that delicate issue. “It’s unfortunate. Your oxytocin is quite potent. Based on what it’s done for Khel so far, I can only imagine what it could do in your offspring. You’re curing Khel’s Taint.”
“What?”
“You’ve heard me right, child. Khel is naturally producing dopamine again. It’s only in trace amounts right now, but the amount is increasing. This is why I’ve been so eager to perform some tests. I understand your concerns. Nobody wants to become a lab rat, nor do I plan on doing this to you. But you could be the key to curing an entire race, or at least putting us on the path to recovery. I just want your permission to take some samples from you and test them on Tainted cells from hosts other than your mate.”
What could I possible answer to that other than yes? So much for not getting poked and prodded.
Sigh.
* * *
This was my third time inside the compound, but the first time in company with all three of my boys. I don’t quite know when I developed that possessive streak, but I totally considered them as mine. Khel was my mate, obviously. Ghan was my big brother, though I still had to let him in on that. And Lhor… Well, Lhor was the issue. There was no question he was mine, but society wouldn’t approve. I couldn’t see him merely as Khel’s cousin. He felt too much like my mate to me. I couldn’t help but fear that sooner rather than later, I would do something stupid that could hurt us irrevocably. And that scared me. I cared deeply for both of them and I couldn’t picture a life without either anymore.
Yhan and Sohr, my permanent bodyguards, escorted me to the Situation Room where my boys were in the midst of an intense discussion. As was his wont, Lhor winked at me, smug in the knowledge he still was two pranks ahead of me. I needed to get even, and it had to be spectacular. For his latest one, the wretch had swapped the flour with baking soda. How was I supposed to know the texture was different? White powder is white powder. Needless to say, my khelfis fritters had been a disaster. I glared back at him. His smile broadened into that panty melting dimpled grin that did all kinds of inappropriate things to me.
Ghan, the eternal stoic, gave me his usual barely perceptible smirk. I wanted to plop myself on his lap and give him a bear hug, if only to see the distressed look on his face. Khel, my ever-solicitous mate, stood up to greet me with that gaze so warm and full of affection it made my heart beat a little faster.
“Falihna.” He gave me a chaste kiss and led me by the hand to a seat next to his. “We were waiting for you.”
“Any new developments?” I fidgeted, unable to hide my eagerness.
“Much and more,” Ghan said. “Though I’m still not convinced you should be involved in this.”
“Oh no, you don’t, big guy!” I snapped ba
ck. “This directly concerns me. I can help and I won’t be cast aside. So suck it up! Now tell me.”
He shook his head as if I was a hopeless case – and in this instance I was – then turned to Khel expecting him to try to reason with me. To no avail. Go Khel!
Ghan shook his head again but caved in. “We were able to speak with the Dantorian merchant Gruuk last did business with. All of it is on the up and up; luxury fabrics and other fancy items that serve as Gruuk’s legitimate front.”
My shoulders slumped. “So a dead-end?”
Ghan folded his hands on the table before him. “Hopefully not. Gruuk mentioned having business in the Sarkesian Sector. Does that ring any bells for you?”
“Maybe.” I racked my brain, stirring every memory of the area. “There was a place the crew referred to as ‘Sarks’. We always brought back new slaves from there. I don’t know if it was a flesh market or one of Gruuk’s strongholds. We never stayed long.”
“Did you visit a planet? A space station?” Ghan pressed. “Any landmarks come to mind?”
I tapped my lower lip with a finger, pondering. “It was either a planet or a moon. It was dark red, like spiced ryspak wine, with some darker and paler stripes. There was a huge blue and green nebula nearby. We usually went there right after a trip to Rovagal Three. And it wasn’t a long journey. About an hour at light speed.”
“Excellent, little one,” Ghan said. “We should be able to narrow something down from that.”
I was too busy preening at the praise to call him out on the ‘little one’ comment. He was trying to goad me. Ghan, it turned out, had a wicked sense of humor. He just rarely showed it and you really needed to pay attention to get it. His jokes were often terrible, but when they were good, they were brilliant.
Ghan stared at Khel. “The human is still unconscious, thanks to Khel’s excess.”
“How was I supposed to know my venom had been juiced up?” Khel frowned at me. I grinned at him, not feeling a single ounce of remorse.