The Skeptics Annotated Bible

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The Skeptics Annotated Bible Page 4

by Wells, Steve


  GENESIS 5

  5 This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;

  2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

  (5.2) “He … called their name Adam.” God created a man and a woman, and he “called their name Adam.” So the woman’s name was Adam, too!

  3 And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth:

  4 And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:

  (5.4) “And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters.” Finally, sometime in the next 800 years, Adam begat some daughters. These nameless ones are the first (and nearly the last) girls to be born in the Bible.

  5 And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.

  (5.5-32) The amazingly long lives of the patriarchs

  (5.5) “All the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years.” Adam finally dies—930 years after eating from the tree of knowledge, contrary to God’s false prophecy that Adam would die the day that he ate the forbidden fruit (2.17).

  6 And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:

  7 And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

  8 And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.

  (5.8) “The days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years.”

  9 And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:

  10 And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:

  11 And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.

  (5.11) “The days of Enos were nine hundred and five years.”

  12 And Cainan lived seventy years, and begat Mahalaleel:

  13 And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:

  14 And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.

  (5.14) “The days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years.”

  15 And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:

  16 And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:

  17 And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.

  (5.17) “The days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years.”

  18 And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:

  19 And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

  20 And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.

  (5.20 “The days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years.”

  21 And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:

  22 And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:

  23 And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:

  24 And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

  (5.24) “Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.”

  24 Must everyone die?

  25 Did Enoch die?

  26 Has anyone ever ascended into heaven?

  27 Was Enoch the seventh from Adam?

  25 And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech:

  (5.25) “Methuselah … begat Lamech.” When Lamech was born, nine generations were alive at once. Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, and Lamech were all alive at the time of Lamech’s birth. Adam lived to see his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson.

  26 And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

  27 And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.

  (5.27) “The days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years.” (World record holder.)

  28 And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:

  29 And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.

  30 And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:

  31 And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.

  (5.31) “The days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years.”

  32 And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

  (5.32) “Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.” When Noah was 500 years old, he had three sons. [Thee sons in one year? Was that with one (nameless) wife or several?]

  GENESIS 6

  6 And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,

  2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.

  (6.2, 4) The sons of God saw the daughters of men and liked what they saw. So they had sex with them, producing giants.

  28 How many sons does God have?

  29 Do angels have sex?

  (6.2) “The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives.”

  3 And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

  (6.3) “My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh … His days shall be an hundred and twenty years.” God shortened the human lifespan to 120 years because humans are “flesh” and he was tired of fighting with them.

  30 How long is the human life span?

  4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

  (6.4) “There were giants in the earth in those days ... when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.”

  31 Did everyone (except for Noah and his family) die in the flood?

  5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

  (6.5) “Every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” God decides to kill all living things because the human imagination is evil. Later (8.21), after he kills everything, he promises never to do it again because the human imagination is evil.

  6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

  (6.6) “It repented the Lord that he had made man.”

  32 Does God repent?

  7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

  (6.7) “I will destroy … both man and beast.”

  8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.

  (6.9) “Noah was a just man and perfect.” He didn’t seem so just and perfect when he was drunk and naked in front of his sons (9.20-21).

  33 Has there ever been a just person?

  9 These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

  10 And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

  11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. />
  12 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

  13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.

  (6.13) “Behold, I will destroy them with the earth.” God was angry because “the earth was filled with violence.” So he killed every living thing to make the world less violent.

  14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

  15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

  (6.15) “The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits.” Noah’s ark is 450 feet long. The largest wooden ships ever built were just over 300 feet, and they required diagonal iron strapping for support. Even so, they leaked so badly that they had to be pumped constantly. Are we to believe that Noah, with no shipbuilding knowledge, was able to construct a wooden ship longer than any that has been built since? But not only was the ark too big to be seaworthy, it was far too small to be able to contain the earth’s millions of plant and animal species.

  16 A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.

  (6.16) “A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it.” God tells Noah to make one small window (18 inches square) for ventilation.

  17 And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

  (6.17) “Every thing that is in the earth shall die.”

  18 But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

  19 And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.

  (6.19) “Of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark.”

  34 How many of each kind did Noah take into the ark?

  20 Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.

  21 And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

  (6.21) “And take thou unto thee of all food … for thee, and for them.”

  22 Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.

  GENESIS 7

  7 And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.

  (7.1) “Thee have I seen righteous.” See 9.20-21. (Where he gets drunk and lies around naked in front of God and everybody.)

  35 Has there ever been a righteous person?

  2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.

  (7.2) “Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens.” How did Noah know which animals were “clean” and “unclean” to God? (It wasn’t defined until Leviticus was written.)

  34 How many of each kind did Noah take into the ark?

  3 Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

  4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

  (7.4) “Every living substance that I have made will I destroy.” God repeats his intention to kill “every living substance … from off the face of the earth.” But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they done to deserve his wrath? It seems God never gets his fill of tormenting animals.

  5 And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.

  6 And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

  7 And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.

  8 Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

  9 There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.

  (7.8-9) “Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls … There went in two and two.” 34 How many of each kind did Noah take into the ark?

  10 And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.

  11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

  (7.11) “The windows of heaven were opened.” God opens the “windows of heaven.” He does this every time it rains.

  12 And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.

  13 In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

  14 They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.

  (7.13-14) “In the selfsame day entered Noah … and every beast.” With a million or so species (There are more than a million known today.), the animals must have boarded at a rate of at least 10 pairs/second.

  36 When did Noah enter the ark?

  15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.

  (7.15) “They went … into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.”

  34 How many of each kind did Noah take into the ark?

  16 And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.

  17 And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.

  (7.17) “The flood was forty days upon the earth.”

  37 How long did the flood last?

  18 And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.

  19 And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.

  20 Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.

  (7.20) “The mountains were covered.” The flood covered the highest mountain tops (Mount Everest?) with fifteen cubits to spare. Where did all the water come from? Where did it all go? Why is there no evidence of such a massive flood in the geological record?

  21 And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:

  (7.21) “All flesh died that moved upon the earth.” God drowned everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears—all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. (Except for the Nephilium, that is.)

  31 Did everyone die in the flood?

  God’s 1st killing

  22 All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.

  23 And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they
that were with him in the ark.

  24 And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

  (7.24) “The waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.”

  37 How long did the flood last?

  GENESIS 8

  8 And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged;

  (8.1) “And God remembered Noah.” Yeah. He probably said something like, “Isn’t Noah the guy who built the ark?”

  2 The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;

  (8.2) “The windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained.” This happens whenever it stops raining.

  3 And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.

  (8.3) “After the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.”

  37 How long did the flood last?

  4 And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

  (8.4) “The ark rested in the seventh month … upon the mountains of Ararat.”

  38 How long did the ark float?

  5 And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

  6 And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

  7 And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.

  8 Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground;

  (8.7,8) “He sent forth a raven … He sent forth a dove.” The flood story in Genesis is confusing to read. The clean animals go into the ark by twos (6.19-20, 7.8-9) and by sevens (7.2). The flood lasts for forty days (7.17) and for 150 days (7.24, 8.3). Noah sends out a raven (8.7) and a dove (8.8). Why doesn’t Genesis get its story straight? Because there were two separate accounts that were (somewhat clumsily) interwoven.

 

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