by Wells, Steve
12 And I will walk among you, and will be your God, and ye shall be my people.
13 I am the LORD your God, which brought you forth out of the land of Egypt, that ye should not be their bondmen; and I have broken the bands of your yoke, and made you go upright.
(26.14-41) God describes torments that he has planned for those who displease him. The usual stuff: plagues, burning fevers that will consume the eyes, etc., but he reserves the worst for the little children. He says “ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it,” “I will send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children,” and “ye shall eat the flesh of your sons and daughters.” Here are the gory details:
14 But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments;
(26.14) “If ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments.”
15 And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant:
(26.15) “And if ye shall despise my statutes … so that ye will not do all my commandments,” If you don’t follow all of the laws in the Old Testament, God will shower you with all of the curses in the next 25 verses. (See Deuteronomy 28:15-68 for an even longer and nastier list.)
16 I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
(26.16) “I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.”
17 And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you.
(26.17) “I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies.”
18 And if ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins.
(26.18) “And if ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins.”
19 And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass:
20 And your strength shall be spent in vain: for your land shall not yield her increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruits.
21 And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins.
(26.21) “I will bring seven times more plagues upon you.”
22 I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle, and make you few in number; and your high ways shall be desolate.
(26.22) “I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle.”
23 And if ye will not be reformed by me by these things, but will walk contrary unto me;
24 Then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins.
(26.24) “I … will punish you yet [another] seven times for your sins.” (That makes 21 times, unless you count your children getting eaten by enemies or wild animals, or having a burning ague that consumes your eyes and whatnot.)
25 And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy.
(26.25) “I will bring a sword upon you … I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy.”
26 And when I have broken the staff of your bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall deliver you your bread again by weight: and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied.
(26.26) “Ten women shall bake your bread in one oven … and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied.” (Oh no! Not ten women to cook my bread! Not that!)
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
(26.27-28) “And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me … then … I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.” (7 more times! That makes 28, I think.)
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
(26.29) “Ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.” (If any are left after your enemies and animals have eaten them.)
30 And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.
(26.30) “I will … cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.”
31 And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.
(26.31) “I will make your cities waste … and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.”
32 And I will bring the land into desolation: and your enemies which dwell therein shall be astonished at it.
(26.32) “I will bring the land into desolation.”
33 And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste.
(26.33) “I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste.”
34 Then shall the land enjoy her sabbaths, as long as it lieth desolate, and ye be in your enemies’ land; even then shall the land rest, and enjoy her sabbaths.
35 As long as it lieth desolate it shall rest; because it did not rest in your sabbaths, when ye dwelt upon it.
36 And upon them that are left alive of you I will send a faintness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies; and the sound of a shaken leaf shall chase them; and they shall flee, as fleeing from a sword; and they shall fall when none pursueth.
(26.36) “And upon them that are left alive of you I will send a faintness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies; and the sound of a shaken leaf shall chase them; and they shall flee, as fleeing from a sword; and they shall fall when none pursueth.”
37 And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies.
(26.37) “They shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies.”
38 And ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up.
(26.38) “Ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up.”
39 And they that are left of you shall pine away in their iniquity in your enemies’ lands; and also in the iniquities of their fathers shall they pine away with them.
(26.39) “They that are left of you shall pine away in their iniquity in your enemies’ lands; and also in the iniquities of their fathers shall they pine away with them.”
40 If they shall confess their iniquity, and the iniquity of their fathers, with their trespass which they trespassed against me, and that also they have walked contrary unto me;
41 And that I also have walked contrary unto them, and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled, and they then accept of the punishment of their iniquity:
(26.41) “If then their uncircumcised hearts be humbled…” But if you humble your uncircumcised heart, God won’t do all these nasty things to you. It’s your choice.
42 Then will I remember my covenant with Jacob, and also my covenant with Isaac, and also my covenant with Abraham will I remember; and I wi
ll remember the land.
43 The land also shall be left of them, and shall enjoy her sabbaths, while she lieth desolate without them: and they shall accept of the punishment of their iniquity: because, even because they despised my judgments, and because their soul abhorred my statutes.
44 And yet for all that, when they be in the land of their enemies, I will not cast them away, neither will I abhor them, to destroy them utterly, and to break my covenant with them: for I am the LORD their God.
45 But I will for their sakes remember the covenant of their ancestors, whom I brought forth out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the heathen, that I might be their God: I am the LORD.
46 These are the statutes and judgments and laws, which the LORD made between him and the children of Israel in mount Sinai by the hand of Moses.
(26.46) “These are the statutes and judgments and laws, which the LORD made between him and the children of Israel in Mount Sinai.”
117 Where did Moses receive the ten commandments?
LEVITICUS 27
27 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the LORD by thy estimation.
(27.2, 10) “When a man shall make a singular vow. … He shall not alter it, nor change it.”
63 Is it OK to swear?
(27.3-7) God defines the value of human life in dollars and cents. To God, females are worth considerably less than males (50-60%)—but neither is worth much. And babies (or fetuses) less than one month old are worth nothing at all.
Here’s a summary:
Over 60 years old: Males 15 shekels, Females 10 shekels.
20-60 years old: Males 50 shekels, Females 30 shekels.
5-20 years old: Males 20 shekels, Females 10 shekels.
One month to 5 years old: Males 5 shekels, Females 3 shekels.
And babies (or fetuses) less than one month old are worth nothing at all.
3 And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary.
(27.3) “Thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old … fifty shekels of silver.”
4 And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels.
(27.4) “If it be a female … thirty shekels.”
5 And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
(27.5) “If it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels.”
6 And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver.
(27.6) “If it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female … three shekels of silver.”
7 And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels.
(27.7) “If it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels.”
8 But if he be poorer than thy estimation, then he shall present himself before the priest, and the priest shall value him; according to his ability that vowed shall the priest value him.
9 And if it be a beast, whereof men bring an offering unto the LORD, all that any man giveth of such unto the LORD shall be holy.
10 He shall not alter it, nor change it, a good for a bad, or a bad for a good: and if he shall at all change beast for beast, then it and the exchange thereof shall be holy.
11 And if it be any unclean beast, of which they do not offer a sacrifice unto the LORD, then he shall present the beast before the priest:
12 And the priest shall value it, whether it be good or bad: as thou valuest it, who art the priest, so shall it be.
13 But if he will at all redeem it, then he shall add a fifth part thereof unto thy estimation.
14 And when a man shall sanctify his house to be holy unto the LORD, then the priest shall estimate it, whether it be good or bad: as the priest shall estimate it, so shall it stand.
15 And if he that sanctified it will redeem his house, then he shall add the fifth part of the money of thy estimation unto it, and it shall be his.
16 And if a man shall sanctify unto the LORD some part of a field of his possession, then thy estimation shall be according to the seed thereof: an homer of barley seed shall be valued at fifty shekels of silver.
17 If he sanctify his field from the year of jubile, according to thy estimation it shall stand.
18 But if he sanctify his field after the jubile, then the priest shall reckon unto him the money according to the years that remain, even unto the year of the jubile, and it shall be abated from thy estimation.
19 And if he that sanctified the field will in any wise redeem it, then he shall add the fifth part of the money of thy estimation unto it, and it shall be assured to him.
20 And if he will not redeem the field, or if he have sold the field to another man, it shall not be redeemed any more.
21 But the field, when it goeth out in the jubile, shall be holy unto the LORD, as a field devoted; the possession thereof shall be the priest’s.
22 And if a man sanctify unto the LORD a field which he hath bought, which is not of the fields of his possession;
23 Then the priest shall reckon unto him the worth of thy estimation, even unto the year of the jubile: and he shall give thine estimation in that day, as a holy thing unto the LORD.
24 In the year of the jubile the field shall return unto him of whom it was bought, even to him to whom the possession of the land did belong.
25 And all thy estimations shall be according to the shekel of the sanctuary: twenty gerahs shall be the shekel.
26 Only the firstling of the beasts, which should be the LORD’S firstling, no man shall sanctify it; whether it be ox, or sheep: it is the LORD’S.
27 And if it be of an unclean beast, then he shall redeem it according to thine estimation, and shall add a fifth part of it thereto: or if it be not redeemed, then it shall be sold according to thy estimation.
28 Notwithstanding no devoted thing, that a man shall devote unto the LORD of all that he hath, both of man and beast, and of the field of his possession, shall be sold or redeemed: every devoted thing is most holy unto the LORD.
29 None devoted, which shall be devoted of men, shall be redeemed; but shall surely be put to death.
(27.28-29) “Both of man and beast … every devoted thing … shall surely be put to death.”
66 Does God approve of human sacrifice?
30 And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD’S: it is holy unto the LORD.
31 And if a man will at all redeem ought of his tithes, he shall add thereto the fifth part thereof.
32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.
33 He shall not search whether it be good or bad, neither shall he change it: and if he change it at all, then both it and the change thereof shall be holy; it shall not be redeemed.
34 These are the commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses for the children of Israel in mount Sinai.
(27.34) “These are the commandments, which the LORD commanded Moses for the children of Israel in mount Sinai.”
117 Where did Moses receive the ten commandments?
NUMBERS
And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? ... Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But a
ll the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. — Numbers 31.15-18
The moral of Numbers is this: Don’t whine.
Miriam complains about Moses’ Ethiopian wife, and God gives her leprosy. The people complain about their hardships during the Exodus, and God sends a fire to burn them alive. They complain about the food, so God forces them to eat quails until it comes out of their noses and then he sends a plague for complaining about that. They complain again, and God sends fiery serpents to bite and kill them. God can’t stand a whiner.
But Numbers has a something for everyone. From talking donkeys to the law of jealousies, it’s a fun book to read.
Here are some highlights:
God kills Aaron’s sons for offering “strange fire before the Lord.” 3.4, 26.61
The law of jealousies 5.11-31
God burns people to death for complaining. 11.1
He makes the Israelites eat flesh until it comes out their nostrils. 11.19-20
“While the flesh was yet between their teeth … the Lord smote the people with a very great plague.” 11.33
God gives Miriam leprosy. 12.9-10
“The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy … visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.” 14.18
A man is stoned to death for gathering sticks on the Sabbath. 15.32-36
God buries alive Korah and his family. 16.27-35, 26.10
He burns to death 250 men for burning incense without a license. 16.35, 26.10
He kills 14,700 for complaining about God’s killings. 16.41-50
God sends “fiery serpents” to bite the people for whining about the lack of food and water. 21.6
Moses’ amazing serpent of brass. 21.9
Balaam’s talking ass. 22.28-30
God tells Moses to “take all the heads of the people and hang them up before the Lord.” 25.4
God’s hero (Phinehas) thrusts a javelin through a man and his Midianite wife’s belly. 25.7-8
God kills 24,000 (23,000 according to 1 Cor 10.8) in a plague. 25.9