The Skeptics Annotated Bible

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The Skeptics Annotated Bible Page 200

by Wells, Steve


  19 He shall be buried with the burial of an ass, drawn and cast forth beyond the gates of Jerusalem.

  (22.18-19) “Jehoiakim … shall be buried … beyond the gates of Jerusalem.”

  267 Where did Jehoiakim die?

  20 Go up to Lebanon, and cry; and lift up thy voice in Bashan, and cry from the passages: for all thy lovers are destroyed.

  21 I spake unto thee in thy prosperity; but thou saidst, I will not hear. This hath been thy manner from thy youth, that thou obeyedst not my voice.

  22 The wind shall eat up all thy pastors, and thy lovers shall go into captivity: surely then shalt thou be ashamed and confounded for all thy wickedness.

  23 O inhabitant of Lebanon, that makest thy nest in the cedars, how gracious shalt thou be when pangs come upon thee, the pain as of a woman in travail!

  24 As I live, saith the LORD, though Coniah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah were the signet upon my right hand, yet would I pluck thee thence;

  (22.25-30) God will have Jeconiah’s enemies kill him and his mother and then ensure that he die without leaving any sons, which seems a bit strange since Jeconiah is listed as an ancestor of Jesus in Matthew 1.12.

  25 And I will give thee into the hand of them that seek thy life, and into the hand of them whose face thou fearest, even into the hand of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon, and into the hand of the Chaldeans.

  (22.25) “I will give thee into the hand of them that seek thy life.”

  26 And I will cast thee out, and thy mother that bare thee, into another country, where ye were not born; and there shall ye die.

  (22.26) “I will cast thee out, and thy mother that bare thee, into another country, where ye were not born; and there shall ye die.”

  27 But to the land whereunto they desire to return, thither shall they not return.

  28 Is this man Coniah a despised broken idol? is he a vessel wherein is no pleasure? wherefore are they cast out, he and his seed, and are cast into a land which they know not?

  29 O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of the LORD.

  30 Thus saith the LORD, Write ye this man childless, a man that shall not prosper in his days: for no man of his seed shall prosper, sitting upon the throne of David, and ruling any more in Judah.

  (22.30) “Thus saith the Lord, Write ye this man childless.”

  263 Did Jeconiah have any sons?

  JEREMIAH 23

  23 Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD.

  2 Therefore thus saith the LORD God of Israel against the pastors that feed my people; Ye have scattered my flock, and driven them away, and have not visited them: behold, I will visit upon you the evil of your doings, saith the LORD.

  3 And I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all countries whither I have driven them, and will bring them again to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase.

  4 And I will set up shepherds over them which shall feed them: and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall they be lacking, saith the LORD.

  5 Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth.

  6 In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.

  7 Therefore, behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that they shall no more say, The LORD liveth, which brought up the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt;

  8 But, The LORD liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.

  (23.9-14)

  9 Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the LORD, and because of the words of his holiness.

  (23.9) “All my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the LORD, and because of the words of his holiness.” Jeremiah is drunk on God’s holiness.

  10 For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right.

  (23.10) “The land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up.” The land dried up because of swearing adulterers.

  (23.11-14) God’s priests and prophets are profane, wicked, adulterous, lying sodomites.

  11 For both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the LORD.

  (23.11) “Both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the LORD.”

  12 Wherefore their way shall be unto them as slippery ways in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein: for I will bring evil upon them, even the year of their visitation, saith the LORD.

  (23.12) “I will bring evil upon them.”

  13 And I have seen folly in the prophets of Samaria; they prophesied in Baal, and caused my people Israel to err.

  14 I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness: they are all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah.

  (23.14) “I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness; they are all of them unto me as Sodom.”

  15 Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts concerning the prophets; Behold, I will feed them with wormwood, and make them drink the water of gall: for from the prophets of Jerusalem is profaneness gone forth into all the land.

  16 Thus saith the LORD of hosts, Hearken not unto the words of the prophets that prophesy unto you: they make you vain: they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of the LORD.

  17 They say still unto them that despise me, The LORD hath said, Ye shall have peace; and they say unto every one that walketh after the imagination of his own heart, No evil shall come upon you.

  18 For who hath stood in the counsel of the LORD, and hath perceived and heard his word? who hath marked his word, and heard it?

  19 Behold, a whirlwind of the LORD is gone forth in fury, even a grievous whirlwind: it shall fall grievously upon the head of the wicked.

  (23.19) “A whirlwind of the LORD is gone forth in fury … it shall fall grievously upon the head of the wicked.”

  292 Do the wicked prosper?

  20 The anger of the LORD shall not return, until he have executed, and till he have performed the thoughts of his heart: in the latter days ye shall consider it perfectly.

  21 I have not sent these prophets, yet they ran: I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied.

  22 But if they had stood in my counsel, and had caused my people to hear my words, then they should have turned them from their evil way, and from the evil of their doings.

  23 Am I a God at hand, saith the LORD, and not a God afar off?

  24 Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.

  (23.24) “Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.”

  18 Does God see and know everything?

  (23.25-40) God damned lying prophets

  25 I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.

  (23.25) “I have heard what the prophets said, that prophesy lies in my name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed.”

  26 How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies? yea, they are prophets
of the deceit of their own heart;

  (23.26) “How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets that prophesy lies?”

  27 Which think to cause my people to forget my name by their dreams which they tell every man to his neighbour, as their fathers have forgotten my name for Baal.

  28 The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream; and he that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat? saith the LORD.

  (23.28) “The prophet that hath a dream, let him tell a dream.”

  29 Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

  30 Therefore, behold, I am against the prophets, saith the LORD, that steal my words every one from his neighbour.

  (23.30) “I am against the prophets, saith the LORD, that steal my words every one from his neighbour.”

  31 Behold, I am against the prophets, saith the LORD, that use their tongues, and say, He saith.

  (23.31) “I am against the prophets, saith the LORD, that use their tongues, and say, He saith.”

  32 Behold, I am against them that prophesy false dreams, saith the LORD, and do tell them, and cause my people to err by their lies, and by their lightness; yet I sent them not, nor commanded them: therefore they shall not profit this people at all, saith the LORD.

  (23.32) “I am against them that prophesy false dreams, saith the LORD, and do tell them, and cause my people to err by their lies.”

  33 And when this people, or the prophet, or a priest, shall ask thee, saying, What is the burden of the LORD? thou shalt then say unto them, What burden? I will even forsake you, saith the LORD.

  34 And as for the prophet, and the priest, and the people, that shall say, The burden of the LORD, I will even punish that man and his house.

  (23.34) “As for the prophet, and the priest, and the people, that shall say, The burden of the LORD, I will even punish that man and his house.” (And his house?)

  35 Thus shall ye say every one to his neighbour, and every one to his brother, What hath the LORD answered? and, What hath the LORD spoken?

  36 And the burden of the LORD shall ye mention no more: for every man’s word shall be his burden; for ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the LORD of hosts our God.

  (23.36) “Every man’s word shall be his burden; for ye have perverted the words of the living God.”

  37 Thus shalt thou say to the prophet, What hath the LORD answered thee? and, What hath the LORD spoken?

  38 But since ye say, The burden of the LORD; therefore thus saith the LORD; Because ye say this word, The burden of the LORD, and I have sent unto you, saying, Ye shall not say, The burden of the LORD;

  (23.38) “Ye shall not say, The burden of the LORD.”

  39 Therefore, behold, I, even I, will utterly forget you, and I will forsake you, and the city that I gave you and your fathers, and cast you out of my presence:

  (23.39) “I will utterly forget you, and I will forsake you … and cast you out of my presence.”

  40 And I will bring an everlasting reproach upon you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.

  (23.40) “And I will bring an everlasting reproach upon you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.”

  JEREMIAH 24

  (24.1-3) Two baskets of figs, some naughty and some nice

  24 The LORD shewed me, and, behold, two baskets of figs were set before the temple of the LORD, after that Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon had carried away captive Jeconiah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah, and the princes of Judah, with the carpenters and smiths, from Jerusalem, and had brought them to Babylon.

  (24.1) “The LORD shewed me … two baskets of figs.”

  2 One basket had very good figs, even like the figs that are first ripe: and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.

  (24.2) “One basket had very good figs … and the other basket had very naughty figs, which could not be eaten, they were so bad.” Which of course goes to show that God hates figs, at least the “very naughty” kind.

  3 Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil, that cannot be eaten, they are so evil.

  (24.3) “Then said the LORD unto me, What seest thou, Jeremiah? And I said, Figs; the good figs, very good; and the evil, very evil.”

  4 Again the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,

  5 Thus saith the LORD, the God of Israel; Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans for their good.

  6 For I will set mine eyes upon them for good, and I will bring them again to this land: and I will build them, and not pull them down; and I will plant them, and not pluck them up.

  7 And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart.

  8 And as the evil figs, which cannot be eaten, they are so evil; surely thus saith the LORD, So will I give Zedekiah the king of Judah, and his princes, and the residue of Jerusalem, that remain in this land, and them that dwell in the land of Egypt:

  9 And I will deliver them to be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth for their hurt, to be a reproach and a proverb, a taunt and a curse, in all places whither I shall drive them.

  10 And I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, till they be consumed from off the land that I gave unto them and to their fathers.

  (24.10) “I will send the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, among them, till they be consumed from off the land.”

  JEREMIAH 25

  25 The word that came to Jeremiah concerning all the people of Judah in the fourth year of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah king of Judah, that was the first year of Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon;

  2 The which Jeremiah the prophet spake unto all the people of Judah, and to all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying,

  3 From the thirteenth year of Josiah the son of Amon king of Judah, even unto this day, that is the three and twentieth year, the word of the LORD hath come unto me, and I have spoken unto you, rising early and speaking; but ye have not hearkened.

  4 And the LORD hath sent unto you all his servants the prophets, rising early and sending them; but ye have not hearkened, nor inclined your ear to hear.

  5 They said, Turn ye again now every one from his evil way, and from the evil of your doings, and dwell in the land that the LORD hath given unto you and to your fathers for ever and ever:

  (25.6-11) Because the people of Judah were unfaithful to him, God will send the king of Babylon (Nebuchadrezzar) to destroy Jerusalem and enslave Judah.

  6 And go not after other gods to serve them, and to worship them, and provoke me not to anger with the works of your hands; and I will do you no hurt.

  (25.6) “Go not after other gods to serve them, and to worship them, and provoke me not to anger with the works of your hands; and I will do you no hurt.”

  9 How many gods are there?

  7 Yet ye have not hearkened unto me, saith the LORD; that ye might provoke me to anger with the works of your hands to your own hurt.

  (25.7) “Yet ye have not hearkened unto me, saith the LORD; that ye might provoke me to anger with the works of your hands to your own hurt.”

  8 Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Because ye have not heard my words,

  9 Behold, I will send and take all the families of the north, saith the LORD, and Nebuchadrezzar the king of Babylon, my servant, and will bring them against this land, and against the inhabitants thereof, and against all these nations round about, and will utterly destroy them, and make them an astonishment, and an hissing, and perpetual desolations.

  (25.9) “I will send … Nebuchadrezzar … my servant … against this land, and against the inhabitants thereof, and against all these nations round about, and
will utterly destroy them, and make them an astonishment, and an hissing, and perpetual desolations.”

  10 Moreover I will take from them the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the sound of the millstones, and the light of the candle.

  (25.10) “I will take from them the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride.”

  11 And this whole land shall be a desolation, and an astonishment; and these nations shall serve the king of Babylon seventy years.

  (25.11) “This whole land shall be a desolation, and an astonishment; and these nations shall serve the king of Babylon seventy years.”

  (25.12-13) God says he is going to punish Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians for what they have done to his people—even though God himself is the one who made the Babylonians attack and enslave Judah! As part of the punishment God will take the land of the Babylonians and “make it perpetual desolations.” A false prophecy, since present-day Iraq is quite occupied.

  12 And it shall come to pass, when seventy years are accomplished, that I will punish the king of Babylon, and that nation, saith the LORD, for their iniquity, and the land of the Chaldeans, and will make it perpetual desolations.

  (25.12) “I will punish the king of Babylon, and that nation, saith the LORD, for their iniquity, and the land of the Chaldeans, and will make it perpetual desolations.”

  13 And I will bring upon that land all my words which I have pronounced against it, even all that is written in this book, which Jeremiah hath prophesied against all the nations.

  (25.13) “I will bring upon that land all my words which I have pronounced against it, even all that is written in this book, which Jeremiah hath prophesied against all the nations.”

  14 For many nations and great kings shall serve themselves of them also: and I will recompense them according to their deeds, and according to the works of their own hands.

 

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