The Skeptics Annotated Bible

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The Skeptics Annotated Bible Page 211

by Wells, Steve


  43 Thou hast covered with anger, and persecuted us: thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied.

  (3.43) “Thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied.”

  120 Is God merciful?

  44 Thou hast covered thyself with a cloud, that our prayer should not pass through.

  (3.44) “Thou hast covered thyself with a cloud, that our prayer should not pass through.”

  300 Does God listen to and answer prayers?

  45 Thou hast made us as the offscouring and refuse in the midst of the people.

  46 All our enemies have opened their mouths against us.

  47 Fear and a snare is come upon us, desolation and destruction.

  48 Mine eye runneth down with rivers of water for the destruction of the daughter of my people.

  49 Mine eye trickleth down, and ceaseth not, without any intermission,

  50 Till the LORD look down, and behold from heaven.

  51 Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city.

  52 Mine enemies chased me sore, like a bird, without cause.

  53 They have cut off my life in the dungeon, and cast a stone upon me.

  54 Waters flowed over mine head; then I said, I am cut off.

  55 I called upon thy name, O LORD, out of the low dungeon.

  56 Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry.

  57 Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not.

  58 O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.

  59 O LORD, thou hast seen my wrong: judge thou my cause.

  60 Thou hast seen all their vengeance and all their imaginations against me.

  61 Thou hast heard their reproach, O LORD, and all their imaginations against me;

  62 The lips of those that rose up against me, and their device against me all the day.

  63 Behold their sitting down, and their rising up; I am their musick.

  64 Render unto them a recompence, O LORD, according to the work of their hands.

  65 Give them sorrow of heart, thy curse unto them.

  66 Persecute and destroy them in anger from under the heavens of the LORD.

  (3.65-66) “Give them sorrow of heart, thy curse unto them. Persecute and destroy them in anger.”

  114 How should we treat our enemies?

  LAMENTATIONS 4

  4 How is the gold become dim! how is the most fine gold changed! the stones of the sanctuary are poured out in the top of every street.

  2 The precious sons of Zion, comparable to fine gold, how are they esteemed as earthen pitchers, the work of the hands of the potter!

  3 Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.

  (4.3) “Cruel, like the ostriches” Ostriches are not cruel and inattentive parents, as this verse implies. They are, in fact, careful and attentive parents. The male scoops out a hollow for the eggs, which are incubated by the female during the day and the male at night. After the eggs are hatched, they are cared for by the mother for over a month, at which time the chicks can keep up with running adults.

  (4.4-9) God punishes the Israelites by starving their children to death.

  4 The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his mouth for thirst: the young children ask bread, and no man breaketh it unto them.

  (4.4) “The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his mouth for thirst: the young children ask bread, and no man breaketh it unto them.”

  5 They that did feed delicately are desolate in the streets: they that were brought up in scarlet embrace dunghills.

  6 For the punishment of the iniquity of the daughter of my people is greater than the punishment of the sin of Sodom, that was overthrown as in a moment, and no hands stayed on her.

  (4.6) “For the punishment of the iniquity of the daughter of my people is greater than the punishment of the sin of Sodom.”

  7 Her Nazarites were purer than snow, they were whiter than milk, they were more ruddy in body than rubies, their polishing was of sapphire:

  8 Their visage is blacker than a coal; they are not known in the streets: their skin cleaveth to their bones; it is withered, it is become like a stick.

  9 They that be slain with the sword are better than they that be slain with hunger: for these pine away, stricken through for want of the fruits of the field.

  (4.9) “They that be slain with the sword are better than they that be slain with hunger: for these pine away, stricken through for want of the fruits of the field.”

  (4.10-11) God “accomplishes his fury” by making women eat their children.

  10 The hands of the pitiful women have sodden their own children: they were their meat in the destruction of the daughter of my people.

  (4.10) “The hands of the pitiful women have sodden their own children: they were their meat in the destruction of the daughter of my people.”

  11 The LORD hath accomplished his fury; he hath poured out his fierce anger, and hath kindled a fire in Zion, and it hath devoured the foundations thereof.

  (4.11) “The LORD hath accomplished his fury; he hath poured out his fierce anger, and hath kindled a fire in Zion.”

  12 The kings of the earth, and all the inhabitants of the world, would not have believed that the adversary and the enemy should have entered into the gates of Jerusalem.

  13 For the sins of her prophets, and the iniquities of her priests, that have shed the blood of the just in the midst of her,

  (4.13) “That have shed the blood of the just”

  33 Has the ever been a just person?

  14 They have wandered as blind men in the streets, they have polluted themselves with blood, so that men could not touch their garments.

  15 They cried unto them, Depart ye; it is unclean; depart, depart, touch not: when they fled away and wandered, they said among the heathen, They shall no more sojourn there.

  16 The anger of the LORD hath divided them; he will no more regard them: they respected not the persons of the priests, they favoured not the elders.

  17 As for us, our eyes as yet failed for our vain help: in our watching we have watched for a nation that could not save us.

  18 They hunt our steps, that we cannot go in our streets: our end is near, our days are fulfilled; for our end is come.

  19 Our persecutors are swifter than the eagles of the heaven: they pursued us upon the mountains, they laid wait for us in the wilderness.

  20 The breath of our nostrils, the anointed of the LORD, was taken in their pits, of whom we said, Under his shadow we shall live among the heathen.

  21 Rejoice and be glad, O daughter of Edom, that dwellest in the land of Uz; the cup also shall pass through unto thee: thou shalt be drunken, and shalt make thyself naked.

  (4.21) “Rejoice and be glad, O daughter of Edom … Thou shalt be drunken, and shalt make thyself naked.” (When God gets angry at you he calls you a drunken whore.)

  22 The punishment of thine iniquity is accomplished, O daughter of Zion; he will no more carry thee away into captivity: he will visit thine iniquity, O daughter of Edom; he will discover thy sins.

  LAMENTATIONS 5

  5 Remember, O LORD, what is come upon us: consider, and behold our reproach.

  2 Our inheritance is turned to strangers, our houses to aliens.

  3 We are orphans and fatherless, our mothers are as widows.

  4 We have drunken our water for money; our wood is sold unto us.

  5 Our necks are under persecution: we labour, and have no rest.

  6 We have given the hand to the Egyptians, and to the Assyrians, to be satisfied with bread.

  7 Our fathers have sinned, and are not; and we have borne their iniquities.

  8 Servants have ruled over us: there is none that doth deliver us out of their hand.

  9 We gat our bread with the peril of our lives because of the sword of the wilde
rness.

  10 Our skin was black like an oven because of the terrible famine.

  11 They ravished the women in Zion, and the maids in the cities of Judah.

  12 Princes are hanged up by their hand: the faces of elders were not honoured.

  13 They took the young men to grind, and the children fell under the wood.

  14 The elders have ceased from the gate, the young men from their musick.

  15 The joy of our heart is ceased; our dance is turned into mourning.

  16 The crown is fallen from our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned!

  17 For this our heart is faint; for these things our eyes are dim.

  18 Because of the mountain of Zion, which is desolate, the foxes walk upon it.

  19 Thou, O LORD, remainest for ever; thy throne from generation to generation.

  20 Wherefore dost thou forget us for ever, and forsake us so long time?

  21 Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.

  22 But thou hast utterly rejected us; thou art very wroth against us.

  EZEKIEL

  For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses. — Ezekiel 23.20

  For pure filthiness, you just can’t beat Ezekiel. Donkey-sized penises, women plucking off their breasts, baking bread with human dung, or getting drunk on human blood—you won’t find stuff like this anywhere else.

  Here are the highlights:

  Ezekiel sees God’s loins (“the glory of the Lord”), which were on fire. 1.27, 8.2

  God makes Ezekiel lay on his right side for 390 days, and then on his left side for another 40 days. 4.4-8

  He tells Ezekiel to bake and eat bread that is made with the “dung that cometh out of man.” 4.12

  He tells him to shave his head and beard, divide the cut hair into thirds, burn one portion, smite the second with a knife, and scatter the third in the wind. 5.1-3

  He will force fathers to eat their sons and sons to eat their fathers and will cause every man’s sword to be against his brother. 5.10, 38.21-23

  God will slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third with wars. If any somehow survive, he’ll send “evil beasts” to devour them. Finally, after he’s done killing, he “will be comforted.” 5.11-17, 6.5

  He tells Ezekiel to clap his hands and stamp his feet while saying, “they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence.” 6.11

  He is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He’ll kill them all— good and bad, just and unjust—with war, disease, and starvation. He will ignore them when they beg for mercy. “Horror shall cover them” and “they shall know that I am the Lord.” 7.3-11, 7.14-27, 8.18, 12.15-16, 21.3-5, 32.9-15

  He dislikes women and pillows. “Woe to the women that sew pillows … be hold, I am against your pillows.” 13.17-21

  He deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies. 14.9, 20.25

  He dresses up Jerusalem, cleans off the blood that she was wallowing in, and compliments her on her nice hair and breasts. 16.8

  After exposing her nakedness, God will give her “blood in fury and jealousy” and strip her naked once more. Then he’ll have her stoned “with stones and thrust through with swords.” 16.38-41

  God’s ex-girlfriend (Jerusalem) had sex with every man that passed by. She especially liked the Egyptians with big penises. If no one was available, she “committed whoredom” with “images of men.” 16.15-26

  A just man never gets near a menstruating woman. 18.5-6

  “For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.” 23.20

  “They shall take away thy nose and thine ears … Thou shalt … pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord.” 23.25, 34

  God killed Ezekiel’s wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelites’ children. Just as God told Ezekiel not to mourn his wife’s death, God forbids the parents to mourn the death of their children. 24.15-24

  He showed Ezekiel how to join together dead people’s bones and then bring them back to life. (The leg bone connected to the thigh bone.) 37.7-10

  He is preparing a feast for the birds and beasts. They will eat human flesh until they’re full and drink human blood until they’re drunk. 39.4, 17-20

  EZEKIEL 1

  1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, in the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the river of Chebar, that the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.

  (1.1) “Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, in the fifth day of the month … that the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.” Ezekiel begins by telling us what day it is. It’s the 30th year, 4th month, and 5th day. But the 30th year etc. of what exactly? (See also 8.1, 20.1, 24.1, 26.1, 29.1, 29.17, 30.20, 31.1, 32.1, 32.17)

  2 In the fifth day of the month, which was the fifth year of king Jehoiachin’s captivity,

  3 The word of the LORD came expressly unto Ezekiel the priest, the son of Buzi, in the land of the Chaldeans by the river Chebar; and the hand of the LORD was there upon him.

  (1.4-28) Ezekiel experiences what some say is the first recorded UFO sighting.

  4 And I looked, and, behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightness was about it, and out of the midst thereof as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

  (1.4) “I looked and behold, a whirlwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself … the color of amber.”

  (1.5-28) Ezekiel sees creatures that have four faces (human, lion, ox, and eagle), four wings, and straight feet with calf’s soles.

  5 Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance; they had the likeness of a man.

  (1.5) “Out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. … they had the likeness of a man.”

  6 And every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.

  (1.6) “Every one had four faces, and every one had four wings.”

  7 And their feet were straight feet; and the sole of their feet was like the sole of a calf’s foot: and they sparkled like the colour of burnished brass.

  (1.7) “Their feet were straight feet; and the sole of their feet was like the sole of a calf’s foot: and they sparkled like the colour of burnished brass.”

  8 And they had the hands of a man under their wings on their four sides; and they four had their faces and their wings.

  (1.8) “They had the hands of a man under their wings on their four sides.”

  9 Their wings were joined one to another; they turned not when they went; they went every one straight forward.

  (1.9) “Their wings were joined one to another.”

  10 As for the likeness of their faces, they four had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and they four had the face of an ox on the left side; they four also had the face of an eagle.

  (1.10) “They four had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and they four had the face of an ox on the left side; they four also had the face of an eagle.”

  11 Thus were their faces: and their wings were stretched upward; two wings of every one were joined one to another, and two covered their bodies.

  (1.11) “Thus were their faces: and their wings were stretched upward; two wings of every one were joined one to another, and two covered their bodies.”

  12 And they went every one straight forward: whither the spirit was to go, they went; and they turned not when they went.

  13 As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, and like the appearance of lamps: it went up and down among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went fort
h lightning.

  (1.13) “Their appearance was like burning coals of fire … and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning.”

  14 And the living creatures ran and returned as the appearance of a flash of lightning.

  15 Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces.

  (1.15) “As I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces.”

  16 The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the colour of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.

  (1.16) “Their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.”

  17 When they went, they went upon their four sides: and they turned not when they went.

  18 As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four.

  (1.18) “As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four.”

  19 And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.

  (1.19) “When the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.”

  20 Whithersoever the spirit was to go, they went, thither was their spirit to go; and the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.

  21 When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.

  (1.20-21) “The spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.”

  (1.22-26) The firmament

  22 And the likeness of the firmament upon the heads of the living creature was as the colour of the terrible crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.

  (1.22) “The firmament … the terrible crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.”

 

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