The Skeptics Annotated Bible

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The Skeptics Annotated Bible Page 254

by Wells, Steve


  (14.19) “He … took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and … gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.”

  20 And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.

  (14.20) “They did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.”

  21 And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.

  (14.21) “They that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children.”

  22 And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.

  23 And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

  24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

  (14.25-31) Jesus and Peter walk on water. You can too, if you have more than a little faith.

  25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

  (14.25) “Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.”

  26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.

  (14.26) “When the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.”

  27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

  (14.27) “Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.”

  28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

  (14.28) “Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.”

  29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

  (14.29) “And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.”

  30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

  (14.30) “But … he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.”

  31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

  (14.31) “Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?”

  32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.

  33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

  34 And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret.

  35 And when the men of that place had knowledge of him, they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased;

  36 And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.

  (14.35-36) “They sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased; And besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.”

  MATTHEW 15

  (15.1-7) Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the commandment: “He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” (See Ex 21.15, Lev 20.9, Dt 21.18-21)

  So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. But maybe he was just making excuses for not washing his hands before eating. (My kids used to do that when it was time to eat.)

  15 Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying,

  (15.1) “Then came to Jesus scribes and Pharisees, which were of Jerusalem, saying,”

  2 Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.

  (15.2) “Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.”

  3 But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?

  (15.3) “But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?”

  4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

  (15.4) “God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.”

  5 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;

  6 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

  (15.5-6) “But ye say, Whosoever … honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.”

  7 Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,

  (15.7) “Ye hypocrites.”

  8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.

  9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

  10 And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand:

  11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

  12 Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?

  13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.

  14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

  15 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.

  16 And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding?

  17 Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?

  18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

  19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

  20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

  21 Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon.

  (15.21) “Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre.” Jesus visits Tyre which according to Ezekiel (26.14, 21; 27.36, 28.19) was not supposed to exist anymore.

  (15.22-26) Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite woman's possessed daughter, saying “it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs.”

  352 Should the gospel be preached to everyone?

  22 And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.

  (15.22) “A woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil.”

  23 But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us.

  (15.23) “But he answered her not a word.”

  24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

  (15.24) “I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

  25 Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me
.

  (15.25) “Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me.”

  26 But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs.

  (15.26) “He answered … It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs.”

  (15.27-28) After the Canaanite woman grovels a bit more at Jesus' feet and admits to being “a dog,” Jesus cast out her daughter's devil.

  27 And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.

  (15.27) “She said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table.”

  28 Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

  (15.28) “Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.”

  (15.29-30) Jesus went up on a mountain and healed “a great multitude” of lame, blind, dumb, and maimed people.

  29 And Jesus departed from thence, and came nigh unto the sea of Galilee; and went up into a mountain, and sat down there.

  (15.29) “Jesus … went up into a mountain, and sat down there.”

  30 And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus’ feet; and he healed them:

  (15.30) “And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus' feet; and he healed them.”

  31 Insomuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel.

  (15.32-38) A “great multitude” had been following Jesus for three days, and were getting hungry. So Jesus told his disciples to feed them. His disciples wondered where they would get the food. But they should have known by now, since Jesus just did the same trick in 14.14-21. These stories are probably the result of two oral versions of the same fictitious story.

  32 Then Jesus called his disciples unto him, and said, I have compassion on the multitude, because they continue with me now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way.

  (15.32) “Jesus … said, I have compassion on the multitude, because they continue with me now three days, and have nothing to eat.”

  33 And his disciples say unto him, Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?

  (15.33) “His disciples say unto him, Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?”

  34 And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven, and a few little fishes.

  (15.34) “Jesus saith … How many loaves have ye? And they said, Seven, and a few little fishes.”

  35 And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.

  36 And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.

  (15.36) “He took the seven loaves and the fishes … gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.”

  37 And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.

  (15.37) “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.”

  38 And they that did eat were four thousand men, beside women and children.

  (15.38) “They that did eat were four thousand men, beside women and children.”

  39 And he sent away the multitude, and took ship, and came into the coasts of Magdala.

  MATTHEW 16

  16 The Pharisees also with the Sadducees came, and tempting desired him that he would shew them a sign from heaven.

  2 He answered and said unto them, When it is evening, ye say, It will be fair weather: for the sky is red.

  3 And in the morning, It will be foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowring. O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?

  4 A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed.

  (16.3-4a) “O ye hypocrites … A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign.” The ever-so-kind Jesus calls an entire generation wicked, adulterous, hypocrites. Why? For asking for some evidence that Jesus is who he claims to be.

  (16.4b) “There shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas.”

  360 Did Jesus perform many signs and wonders?

  5 And when his disciples were come to the other side, they had forgotten to take bread.

  6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

  7 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have taken no bread.

  8 Which when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?

  9 Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?

  10 Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?

  11 How is it that ye do not understand that I spake it not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees?

  12 Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

  (16.13-14) Opinions varied regarding the identity of Jesus, but many thought that he was the risen John the Baptist. The fact that people could be so easily fooled regarding the Baptist's “resurrection” casts doubt on the resurrection of Jesus.

  13 When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?

  (16.13) “Jesus … asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?”

  14 And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.

  (16.14) “They said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.”

  15 He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

  16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

  17 And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

  (16.16-17) “Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answered … Flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father.”

  363 How did Peter find out that Jesus was the Messiah?

  (16.18-19) Jesus founds the Catholic church, makes Peter the pope, and gives him the keys to the kingdom of heaven. (Protestants hate these verses.)

  Of course, the gates of hell have pretty much had their way with the Catholic church since then, as the crusades, inquisition, reformation, and priestly pedophilia testify.

  18 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

  (16.18) “Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

  19 And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

  (16.19) “I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and wha
tsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

  20 Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.

  21 From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.

  22 Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.

  23 But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

  (16.23) “He … said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan.” When Peter expressed his dismay about Jesus' coming death, Jesus said to him “Get thee behind me, Satan”—a fine way to address his holiness, the first pope!

  24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

  25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

  (16.25) “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake.

  26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

  27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.

  (16.27) “He shall reward every man according to his works.”

  304 Is salvation by faith alone?

  28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

  (16.28) “There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.”

  MATTHEW 17

  (17.1-6) The Transfiguration Jesus takes Peter, James, and John up to a high mountain top, where his face began shining like the sun. Moses and Elijah show up, a cloud came over them, and a voice came from the sky saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.” When the disciples saw this, they did what any good Bible character would do: they fell on their faces.

 

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