by Yana Guleva
“So Am, why love the hunter?” Awan said with laughter behind it. They really thought it was funny.
“For one, don’t call me Am please! And I love him not because he’s a hunter but the person he is.” I answered him with a smile. I looked over at Kierce and he wasn’t as happy as they were. I didn’t know if it was because I was too close to Tae or because of their remark.
“This isn’t fucking funny. Not my fault I’m a damn hunter.” He spoke back fiercely and left into the other room.
“Jeesh, why so hostile.” Len said as he turned to me. “So.. are we welcome here for good?”
“Make yourselves at home. Well.. what they’re left of it.” I said looking around. It was completely trashed with them being in here for the last hour. “But I think you already have.” I added laughing. I honestly didn’t care. “I get the bed though!”
“Well of course the lady gets the bed. What do you think we are? Rude?” Dakota said laughing and got back to talking to his brothers. I looked back at Tae, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.
“I love you.” Tae whispered in my ear real quick. With that, I knew everything was going to be okay. I felt the warmth from him and I felt the love.
“I love you too.” I told him, and got up to go get comfortable for bed.
Chapter Sixteen – Family
The next morning I woke up with one thing on my mind. I knew what today would bring. I knew what I had to do. I got out of bed and searched through the draws of my dresser to find the only device that communicated me with the rest of the world. I then dialed the number I haven’t looked at in so long. It was the one person I loved the most yet knew so little about now. All the trust I had for her was gone a long time ago. My mother.
“Amabel, honey. Is that you?” My mother’s voice broke with tears. “Oh Amabel. I have been trying to call you but the call wouldn’t go through. I thought something happened to you.” She told me. I had turned off the phone a long time ago so I would not be tempted to call her at the wrong time. I stayed silent for a little while. She hasn’t know about my brother finding, or that he is now gone. She didn’t know anything.
“Mother, can you do me a favor.” I finally asked. I was preparing her for the news.
“Yes, what is it? Is everything okay though?” She asked again. Nothing was okay right now, but she didn’t have to know it all.
“No, not everything. Can you call Zayley though and tell her to get ready. I want you to pick her up and bring her with you.”
“Bring her with me where? Am I going to see you?”
“Yes. We have a funeral to attend.”
“A.. funeral? Oh gosh, honey what happened. Who is it?”
“Your son.” I told her. Her voice on the other line was silent now. She didn’t speak for a few minutes. All that I was hearing was her breath. The breath of a mother that just found out her son was dead. The breath of a mother that just realized I knew about him as well. I could picture her face, so beautiful yet filled with agony. I could picture her tears rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably without trying to make any noise.
“..James?”
“Yes. My brother.”
“Oh Amabel. Oh how could this be.”
“We have a lot to talk about. For now though, please call Zayley. When the sun is about to go down, drive up to the lake. After that, walk towards the glaciers, right through the woods. You’ll see us.” As angry as I was with my mother, I knew losing a son wasn’t easy for her.
“..Okay. I will do that. What should I tell Zayley?”
“Tell her she won’t understand but to trust you.” I told my mother. I knew Zayley thought I moved away somewhere fast, or just fell off the face of the earth. In a way, I felt like that was the case.
“..and Amabel. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She knew. She knew exactly what we had to talk about after.
“Well it doesn’t matter now, he’s gone. I’ll see you later on today.” I said and hung up the phone before my mother had a chance to start a conversation.
I got dressed for my day, and it wasn’t anything different. Although we’d make our own funeral today, wearing black didn’t make the feelings any more painful. I never actually understood why people wore black at funerals. In my mind, it was a certain dress code to mourn their death not celebrate their lives. Being happy for them moving onto a different life should be filled with excitement, not blackness. I also knew James wouldn’t want us to be that way. He would want us around a campfire talking about certain moments we had with him. That’s what I was planning to do. I was planning to share all the glory he had, well, what I knew anyways.
“Can I come in?” Tae asked, knocking at the door.
“Yes.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Fine I guess. Could you please.. do me a favor?”
“Anything sweetie.”
“Could you please.. set up my brother’s funeral? I mean, I know it’s short notice, but I was planning on having it today when the sun sets. I called my mother telling her to meet us. Also, I think it’s time I had a talk with her, plus some explanation to Zayley.”
“It’s not short notice. I will have everything ready. Some of the guys will help me.”
“Thank you.. so much Tae. For everything.” I looked him in the eyes, and felt the rush of feelings from him. I had a temptation to kiss him, but I also wasn’t sure if those were mine or his.
“You don’t have to thank me.” He told me, and I quickly walked away before anything could happen. Today I wanted my mind free of emotions. I didn’t want to feel Kierce’s or Tae’s. I wanted to feel everything that was mine, not theirs. With that, I closed any possible connection I had with them. Surely I wasn’t good at it but with deep concentration, closing it was much easier than opening it.
Tae talked to the guys on planning the funeral for James and they looked more than happy to help. Tae looked at me one last time, and was out of the house. The only ones who stayed back was Len and Awan. I loved the lycans more than I thought. They felt like family to me and I felt as if it would be completely wrong if they ever had to leave.
Awan was cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Out of all the guys he was the youngest, yes, but also the best cook. That’s probably why he got left behind. Len, on the other hand, was left behind to watch over me. Everyone knew the effect my brother’s death had on me. No one wanted me to make any another dumb decisions.
“So.. what do you want to do?” Len asked me. I didn’t realize how long I must have been standing in the living room. He clearly noticed something was running through my mind.
“Want to go outside and enjoy the fresh air?” I asked him.
“Sounds good chick. Let’s go.” He answered. Len acted a lot like my brother and in a way, I wanted to consider him as one. We walked outside and sat down on the seats we had around the campfire we never used. “What’s going through you mind?” He asked me.
“To tell you the truth, more than I can handle.”
“You know you can talk to me.” I knew he was right. He was the only one that wouldn’t judge me or tell me I’m wrong. He would even understand why I made the decision of surrendering to Luthius. That would be a subject for another day though.
“Well... before I knew I had the ability to feel what others are feeling, I met Kierce. I felt everything he did but didn’t understand why. The same goes for Tae. I feel as if… their feelings towards me.. are mixed with mine.”
“I understand. So have you tried turning off the connection between you and them?”
“Yes, I did that earlier. Maybe if I get some time away from them my heart will know who to choose.”
“Choosing isn’t your main problem right now Amabel. They would understand if you just stepped back for a while. You know.. organize your thoughts, as well as your feelings. It would do some good…. The main thing right now is getting Luthius off your back. He must be sick of getting stuck in that mansion. He wants to travel and well.. kill.
” The last word sent shivers down my back. I hated Luthius for that, and any hunter that thought that way. How could they take someone’s life with no remorse? It was ridiculous in my mind. Everything was.
“I know. That’s what I’m worried about the most. The wedding got broken up, and not only Argem is furious, but so are the rest of them. Samuele is more involved now. He’s in town and I have no idea what he’s capable of. He’s.. different from the rest. He’s capable of things you or I could never imagine.”
“That may be so, but Samuele also doesn’t want to kill you. There’s something about you Amabel.. something different as well. He knows that.”
“So why did Luthius kept sending those damn staggers? If I was so special, why would he kill me without Samuele’s okay?”
“See.. you don’t know if Luthius actually sent those staggers to kill you. He might have just sent them to kill everyone you know. Therefore, you would have no choice but to go to him. He knows you’re helpless and lost without your loved ones. And no I don’t mean that you need us to survive, but that you’re selfless, and can’t possibly live without the ones you love. It would tear you apart.” Len was right. He was right about everything.
“How do you know me so well?”
“I don’t know. I just.. know.”
“I guess that makes sense.” I told him laughing. “So, what if they attack us this time.”
“He won’t hurt you!” A voice behind us said.
“Hell no. he won’t even put a finger on you!” Another voice said. “We’ll tear that fucker apart.” He added laughing. It was the guys. They were back from setting up the funeral. I enjoyed them being around so much. Everything felt lighter and safer.
“Ha ha. Tell that to Luthius and his staggers.” I answered back. “So if everything all set?”
“Yeah for the most part. Tae and Kierce stayed back though. They said they were adding one last touch.” Dakota answered me. “So if breakfast ready? I’m starving!” He added, looking at the house.
“Go check. Awan is quick, so probably.” Len answered him. With that, the crew went into the house ready to eat everything in sight.
“You can go ahead.” I told Len. “I’ll be in shortly.”
“Okay, but hurry up. They won’t leave left overs.” Len told me laughing and got up to join the rest of his brothers.
I sat few a few minutes with complete emptiness in my mind. The view of early spring was beautiful. Even though there wasn’t much sun with the tall trees being so close together, it still managed to glimpse in. The sunlight shone on the leaves that were coming out. I could hear the birds chirping and building nests all around me. I loved nature and the way it took its course. It truly was a stunning thing.
My mind soon after was back with worried thoughts. I had to figure out how to settle everything with Samuele. Maybe then, Luthius would leave me alone as well. Of course, I couldn’t think of anything. There was always the move to just give myself in and try to convince Len and his brothers not to attack. That also meant Kierce and Tae would be completely torn apart. I would feel Kierce’s pain the worst. He’s be there while I was with Argem. He would watch me being with his brother and wouldn’t be able to do a thing. Thinking about it, Argem would be the one to change me, not even Kierce. I would hope there wouldn’t be any connection between me and Argem after that though. It would make everything so much worse.
Breakfast has passed and so has lunch. No one really bothered me while I sat out here, but each one of their eyes kept an eye on me through the windows. I was very grateful for them, even though I hated being the center of attention. I have always been used to my old town. There were too many people to have anyone focus on me. I could die and they wouldn’t have known until someone on some social media said something. This town wasn’t the same though. Everyone knew each other and as the last watcher, the non-humans knew me too. All attention was on me in every way.
The sun was setting soon, and that means my mother and Zayley will be wondering through the woods not long after. Whatever sun that was shining through was now disappearing. Only the tops of the trees were still enjoying light. With every minute, it got darker, and I knew I had to face the sadness of my brother’s death once again.
“It’s time.” Len told me only opening the house door just a little. It almost looked like he was scared to come outside. He must have been checking of my mother was here already. A few seconds after, I saw my mother and Zayley walking towards me. Good, they found me.
“Amabel!” Zayley screamed, and started running towards me. Her eyes were filled with excitement as well as relief. “Oh I thought you were dead!” She screamed as she got closer to me. With open arms, she dove in. “You need to tell me everything! I’m so happy to see you!” She yelled in my ear.
“Ouch, well I’m happy to see you too.” I said laughing. “How are you?”
“How am I? Dude, I’m fine. How are you? You nearly scared me to death after you just disappeared at the store and then a no show the next day. Your mother told me you went on some trip or something. I don’t really remember because all I was thinking is that you’re alive.” She said laughing. “Wait, no. I’m not okay. You left me there with Vessa and Arcell. You bitch!” She screamed and hit me lightly on the arm. I couldn’t help but laugh as I pictured her rolling her eyes every time they got too close to each other.
“Well.. sorry. But thanks, I’m fine.” I answered her laughing. I looked over at my mother, and she looked like she was dreading the funeral. I didn’t know how it looked. I didn’t even know how James looked. Hopefully, we wouldn’t have to see. A few minutes after, everyone came out of the house. I caught a glimpse of Tae and Kierce, and my heart melted with just that simple look. Curelessly though, I didn’t know if it was for Tae or Kierce. I was still completely lost.
“Follow me.” Len said, and started walking deeper into the woods. The rest of us fallowed. We walked for quite some time until we reached our destination. It was familiar. As we took the last few steps into the open field, I notices James’s plane. This was where he kept it while he stayed with us. Under the plane was his grave. The guys took care of it and have already buried him. The thought of him laying still in the ground bothered me. Not as much as if he were out of the ground though. I was glad the guys took care of it. They knew exactly how to handle this.
On top of the grave was his tomb stone. The tomb stone was just a big rock with his name engraved in it. I looked at everyone, and no one wanted to step closer. Everyone was within their own minds and feeling sorrow for James. My mother on the other hand, stepped up and knelt near his grave. I joined her. As we looked at each other, there was love. Family love. I touched the name on the rock with a single finger, and let it go back and forth along the name. At that moment, I felt forgiveness. I forgave my mother was never telling me, as well as she forgave my father for not letting him in the family. Right at this moment, we felt him. We felt his soul and how happy he was. He was with his bonded love now and there wasn’t a single worry in the air.
Everyone was now kneeling near the grave with closed eyes. We were feeling his touch in the air. A smile formed on my face. “You’re free now.” I whispered, and everyone joined with a smile. Not soon after, it had gotten too dark. For the lycans' eyes and mine, it was okay. Not for my mother’s or Zayley’s though.
“I think we should go now.” I said, and everyone rose up. We gave one last look at his grave, and walked into the woods towards the house.
“So you have a brother?” Zayley asked and now realized what she had said.
“Yes.” I answered her. “I have a brother.”
We approached the house but no one was anxious to go in. I looked at Len with a smile and he already knew what I was thinking.
“Go grab some blankets inside.” He told one of his brothers, and he started to light the fire in the fire pit. This was going to be the first time it was used, and I was glad it was with all the ones I loved.
We cir
cled the fire and kept silent for a while. I took advantage of it and started up my mind with thoughts. I was angry at myself for ignoring Tae and Kierce all day. They didn’t deserve it, not one bit.
“So.. at least James will always be with us.” Len said, trying to cheer everyone up. It didn’t work for me though. It was all my fault. Everything was. James’s death, Tae’s scars, and Kierce’s separation from his father. It was all my fault, and they paid for it. They paid for the things they should have never been involved. I knew they wanted to protect me and wouldn’t have it any other way, but it was wrong. At this very second, I was more lost than I ever have been before. All of my emotion have caught up with me and suddenly hit me in the face. It felt like a brick was stuck in my throat and wouldn’t let me spit it out. I wanted to scream and tell everyone to go, but couldn’t. I sat there silent as everyone around me had small conversations. Staring at the fire didn’t make me lose a train of thought, but only gain more. I saw the faces of the ones I hurt just passing by and nothing made sense anymore. My mind was nothing but a chaotic mess.
“Hey Amabel.” Dakota spoke out. He was the first one that even tried to break my train of thought.
“Yeah?” I answered him, still staring at the fire.
“So.. what’s up with your abilities? I know you can do things that.. well.. are sick. But aren’t you supposed to be able to tell the hunters to stay away?”
“Well, yes. I should be able to.” I then looked over at Kierce real quick.
“How come you can’t though? Or have you not tried?” Dakota continued asking me about it.
“Well, I don’t think I have actually tried. It’s just.. every time something happens, that’s not one of the things that come to my mind.”
“Maybe you should try next time. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Well.. that’s what other watchers have done.”
“She’s not like other watchers.” Tae said, coming into the conversation. My full attention was now on him.