by Chris Taylor
Perhaps it was a good thing that she’d run into Jacob again? Perhaps it was time to confront him and get answers to the how and the why that had eaten into her soul for so long? Jacob had pleaded guilty at the trial, so she hadn’t been given the opportunity to listen to the evidence and even though he’d written to her from the jail in the early days of his sentence, she’d returned the letters to him unopened, not willing or ready to read what he had to say.
She wondered again if her knot of anger and resentment had caused her to hold herself back in the few relationships she’d endured since graduation and if that was the real reason she hadn’t found love. Until now, she hadn’t considered the fact that she was still single could have had anything to do with Jacob Black.
It wasn’t like time was running out. A lot of people her age were still single. Besides, she didn’t need a significant other in her life. She had her parents who loved her deeply and her cat, Pepper, who loved her just as much. And she had her job. She lived her life the way she wanted to and took solace from her ability to restore dignity to the dead and the comfort she brought to their families.
With a heavy sigh, she switched off the bathroom light and padded across the carpet toward her bed. After disposing of her underwear, she pulled on her pajamas. Collecting Pepper from the corner chair, Hannah sat the cat on the vacant side of the bed and climbed under the covers—all the time trying to convince herself it was enough.
* * *
Jacob scanned the faces in the crowd, searching for his twin. Toby had said he’d meet him outside the bus station on Broadway. Jacob had promised his brother he’d drive him to his place of employment on his first day of work. They’d agreed that being late wasn’t an option.
Pushing his way past the hordes of people, all mindlessly hurrying to work, Jacob made his way over to the part of the bus shelter where it was common for homeless men and women to sleep. Toby sat in the far corner, a bundle of possessions at his feet. When he caught sight of Jacob, he smiled.
“Jacob! You remembered!” he called out over the din of traffic and pedestrians.
Jacob came up to his brother and gave him a brief hug, ignoring the stench of filth and unwashed body that rose up to meet him.
He’d stumbled across Toby one night, nearly a week earlier, in the Sydney Harbour Hospital Emergency Department. His twin had been attacked by an unknown assailant and had suffered a knife wound to his hand. Jacob had been stunned at Toby’s appearance. He’d barely recognized him under the dirt and grime and stench that enveloped him.
“Good-morning, Tobes. Did you sleep here again, last night?” he asked, looking around at the filth of trash and food scraps and other detritus that littered the small area.
Toby merely offered him a smile. “Of course. It’s like I told you at the hospital. This is where I live. See, under the brightest light.”
Jacob shook his head, once again dismayed at his brother’s circumstances. “I wish you’d come home with me. Like I told you last week, I live in a nice apartment within walking distance to the hospital. We could shop for some new clothes for you or I could give you money to buy them yourself. I have two spare bedrooms. You could take your pick. It would be perfect.”
Toby kept smiling. “Perfect for you, maybe. I like living here and soon I can buy my own new clothes. Like I told you, this is my spot, right near that light. I’m still not fond of the dark. Carrie lives over that way and Michael’s just down there. We keep each other company. We look out for each other.”
Jacob tamped down his impatience. He was still shocked to discover his brother lived on the streets. It was inconceivable when Toby had a loving family who would be more than happy to help out. Jacob was only relieved their mother wasn’t alive to see it.
But now wasn’t the time to get into it with his twin. It was already eight-thirty-six and Toby had told him he needed to be at work by nine. They still had a ways to drive to Balmain, especially in the peak-hour traffic. Jacob was just grateful he wasn’t rostered on until the evening and that he had been available to drive his brother to his job.
Jacob wasn’t sure what Toby intended to do on the days when his brother wasn’t available to transport him. Curious, he hefted his twin’s meagre possessions off the ground and as they walked toward Jacob’s truck, he put the question to him.
“How do you normally get around the city? Do you catch a bus from here, or the train?”
Toby smiled and shook his head, his blue eyes twinkling. “No, Jake. No buses or trains. I use these.” He pointed to his bare feet, black with filth and dirt. Jacob suppressed a shudder.
A wave of urgency surged through him and it had nothing to do with the time. He needed to sit down with his brother and talk to him, really talk to him, and find out where Toby’s life had gone off the rails.
In the back of his mind, he recalled Hannah saying that his twin had taken Jacob’s imprisonment hard. He couldn’t bear the thought that Toby’s current circumstances had anything to do with him.
Weaving through the heavy traffic, Jacob followed his in-car GPS directions to the Max Grace Funeral Home. Though he’d been through the inner west Sydney suburb of Balmain a few times, he wasn’t overly familiar with its streets. Pulling up outside a tastefully restored terrace house that was bordered by equally stylish neighbors, Jacob killed the engine and turned to look at his brother. “We’re here.”
Toby looked out the window and Jacob drew his attention to a metal sign that hung from a black painted pole outside the building. Printed on the shiny surface of the sign, were the words: Max Grace Funeral Home.
Toby turned back to him and grinned, his expression filled with equal parts nervousness and excitement. “I guess you’re right.”
Jacob’s gaze drifted across his brother’s dirty long-sleeved shirt and equally filthy pants and he frowned. “Are you sure you know this guy?”
Toby nodded his head enthusiastically. “Yes! He came up to me in the bus shelter the day before I was attacked. He asked me who I was and how long I’d been living there. He gave me twenty dollars and told me to find myself a hot meal. He was nice.”
“How did that turn into a job offer?” Jacob asked, curious.
“Mr Grace—that’s the guy who gave me the money—offered to come with me to the diner. He ordered a huge amount of food. And he paid for it out of his wallet. He didn’t even ask about the twenty. I ate until I was bursting.” Toby lowered his gaze. “It had been awhile since I’d had such a good meal.”
Anger and frustration once again surged through Jacob. “Toby, I told you at the hospital—you’re more than welcome to come home with me. It isn’t right that you’re out living on the streets. We’re brothers. Why do you find it so hard to accept my help?”
Toby stared at him solemnly. “I know that you care, Jacob and it makes my heart smile, but you’ve already sacrificed so much for me. It’s time for me to stand on my own. I don’t need your help. I’m happy the way I am.”
“How can you be happy?” Jacob exploded, his temper getting the better of him. “You’re living on the streets! Okay, we didn’t exactly grow up in the lap of luxury and Mom worked at least two jobs to keep us all alive, but we had a decent roof over our heads and we never went to bed hungry. How can you dismiss all that and live like a homeless person? I don’t get it. I really don’t.”
Toby shook his head sadly. “I don’t expect you to get it, Jacob. We might be twins, but we’ve been apart a long time. Let’s just leave it at that.”
Jacob opened his mouth to protest again, but closed it when Toby’s mouth thinned into an immoveable line. Jacob had seen it before. The stubborn set of his twin’s mouth, the clenched jaw. He knew exactly what Toby was thinking and there would be no budging him, at least, not at this time.
With a sigh of defeat, Jacob opened his car door and climbed out. Toby followed suit. Together, they climbed up the concrete steps that led to the small front porch. Jacob rang the old-fashioned doorbell and then stood bac
k. He turned to his brother.
“You still haven’t told me how you came to be offered a job.”
Toby smiled and shrugged. “That’s easy. After we’d finished eating and Mr Grace had paid the bill, he told me how much he liked me. He said he was looking for someone to help out at the funeral home and wanted to know if I was interested.”
Jacob regarded him slowly, still feeling a little dubious about the whole thing. Despite Hannah’s assurances that offering Toby a job was just the kind of thing her boss would do, Jacob wasn’t too sure. Just then, the panelled oak door opened and his contemplation over the situation came to an abrupt halt.
Hannah stood in the doorway. She was clothed in plain green shapeless surgical scrubs and her face was free of makeup. Her long hair was concealed under an unflattering cloth cap, but nothing could disguise her beauty. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts and he stammered when he spoke.
“H-hi. I… I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
She looked at him with a quizzical expression, one eyebrow cocked upwards. “I told you at the ball I worked here. Did you think I was making it up?”
Embarrassment spread up from his neck and heated his cheeks. “No, of course not. It’s just that… You said you were an embalmer. I assumed you worked…out back.”
Though her expression remained solemn, her eyes twinkled with laughter. “You’re right. I do, but we’re a little short-staffed at the moment. Max’s nephew still hasn’t shown up for work and Max is tied up with grieving relatives in the front room.” She shrugged. “Which leaves me as the only one available to answer the door.”
Her gaze drifted to Toby. The slight widening of her eyes was the only indication she gave to his much-altered appearance. With a friendly smile, she put out her hand.
“Hi, Toby. I’m Hannah Langdon. We went to school together a long time ago. Do you remember me?”
Toby frowned and then his face broke into a wide smile. “Hannah? Is it really you? What are you doing here?”
I work here.” She laughed. “And now you do, too.”
With a shout of joy, Toby threw his arms around her and hugged her. After a slight hesitation, Hannah relaxed into the embrace. Jacob’s admiration for her ratcheted up another notch.
“So, it’s true,” he said in an effort to bring the embrace to an end, “Toby has a job here?”
Hannah stepped away from Toby and nodded. “Yes. I spoke to Max about it this morning. Apparently he met your brother at a bus shelter last week and offered him employment. Like I told you before at the ball, Max is like that. He has a heart of gold.”
It was the second time she’d referred to the ball and he tensed, remembering how they’d parted. From the narrowing of her gaze, she was recalling the moment, too. He cleared his throat and looked away.
“I’d better get going. I have a few things to do. Will you be all right, Tobes?”
His brother turned to him and gave him an enthusiastic smile. “Yes, Jake! Of course! I was excited before, but now that Hannah’s here, I’m going to have the best time ever!”
Jacob glanced at her and found her smiling fondly at his twin. His heart clenched. She’d never looked at him like that. And then he told himself not to be stupid. How the hell could he be feeling envious of his twin? It was ridiculous.
“I’ll take care of him,” Hannah assured him and linked her arm through Toby’s.
Jacob nodded. “Well, all right, I guess I’ll come back at five and collect you. Is that right?” He directed the last question to Hannah.
“Yes, we close at five, but I can drop him home. It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
“It’s fine. I don’t have to be at work until six. I don’t live far from the hospital. Dropping Toby…home won’t be a problem. At least, not today.”
“You do shift work?” Hannah guessed.
“Yes, but I’m pretty flexible with my roster. There have to be some perks for being the senior resident of the emergency department.”
She stared at him, but her expression didn’t alter. Whether his position impressed her or not, remained a mystery. Feeling the need to put some distance between them, he dragged his gaze away from hers, turned and jogged back down the stairs.
“I’ll see you later, Tobes,” he called over his shoulder. “Have a good day.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Dear Diary,
I love it when a plan comes together and this one’s working out just fine. It might have taken a little longer than I thought, but my meticulous preparations and patience have finally been rewarded. Once, twice… And now I have taken steps toward securing yet another ticket to a better life. I can hardly wait…
* * *
Hannah glanced over to where Toby worked quietly refilling the supplies stored in the overhead cupboards and wondered what had happened to him in the intervening years since she’d seen him. It was obvious he’d fallen on hard times and during their tea break, he confirmed he was living on the streets.
She wanted to ask him what happened and whether it had anything to do with Jacob, but she was afraid to know the answer. The events of that night in November were forever seared upon her mind. Her life had been destroyed and it had taken her years to recover. A therapist would argue she still hadn’t fully recovered and they’d be right. She didn’t want to think that others might have suffered similar awful consequences. When she looked at Toby, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was another casualty of that horrible time.
“How long have you been working here?” he asked her, curiosity bright in his blue eyes. Eyes that reminded her of his brother.
“Almost six years.”
Toby nodded. “Did you go to college?”
Hannah thought back to high school and the days she’d spent by Luke’s side, dreaming of nothing more than a future as his wife.
“Yes,” she replied. “It wasn’t something I planned on doing, but after graduation…” She gave him a tiny shrug. “I guess my plans changed.”
His beautiful eyes shadowed with pain and Hannah immediately felt bad. She hadn’t meant to remind him of that awful time. She was sure his memories of it were just as horrible as hers. She hurried to soothe him.
“I’m sorry, Toby, I didn’t mean to drag that up again. It was a long time ago. It’s time to put it to rest.”
“I still dream about it, Hannah,” he whispered, his voice low and rough with pain. “It was so awful. I was so scared. And when they took Jacob away and put him in jail… He was in handcuffs, Hannah! I couldn’t bear it! I tried so hard to accept what had happened, but in the end, I had to run away. I didn’t tell anyone. Not even my mom.”
Sadness surged through Hannah at the anguish on Toby’s face. She put down the instrument she’d been cleaning and peeled off her gloves. Moving over to where he stood, she patted him awkwardly on the arm. “It’s all right, Toby. Don’t think about it. I’m sorry, I should never have said anything. I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t,” he interrupted. Tears glinted in his eyes. “I wanted to tell you. You were there. You understand. It’s been horrible holding it all inside. And then, when Jacob told me Mom had died…” He hiccupped on a sob. “I didn’t even get to say good-bye.”
Hannah felt awful. Toby’s life had been hard enough in the years since high school. It wasn’t fair for her to make it worse now by dredging up old, ugly memories.
“How are you going with those cotton swabs?” she asked lightly in a desperate attempt to distract him.
Gradually, his gloomy expression cleared and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him. He’d been working quickly and efficiently all day and she was grateful for his help. It had been more than a month since Max’s last assistant, Christopher Lowery, had sadly passed away and his replacement, Edward Sutton, had lasted only three weeks before he up and disappeared. Hannah’s workload had doubled as a result.
Christopher Lowrey and Edward Sutton were two other ex
amples of Max’s charity. Both were men who’d fallen on hard times. Max had offered them employment and for Christopher, even a place to stay. He’d been given an area off the freezer room where Max had previously stored unused equipment. Though small and rather cramped, it still had an edge over sleeping under the railway bridge in the park.
Though both men were in their forties and suffering signs of malnutrition and general neglect, they’d been good workers. Christopher had confided in Hannah that he’d once been a wards man in a large city hospital. He hadn’t minded the sight of dead bodies and he’d been a great help to her in the embalming room. It pained her to know he’d come to such a sad end. She could still remember the shock she’d felt when Max told her the news.
Apparently, Christopher had been drinking heavily, as he sometimes did and had stumbled out into the road. He’d been hit by a fully laden semi and had been killed on impact. The truck hadn’t stopped at the scene. The police surmised the truck driver hadn’t even been aware of what he’d done.
For Edward, things had worked out differently. One day he was there, going about his usual duties, and the next, he was gone. It had been over a week since she’d last seen him. Hannah had spoken to Max about him and had even queried Bobby about his whereabouts, but neither man knew where Edward was or where he could have gone. In the end, they simply put it down to the fact that he’d moved on and had chosen not to say good-bye. After all, working with the dead wasn’t for everyone.
She hadn’t yet introduced Toby to the deceased people they worked over. Better to let him get used to the idea of being in a funeral home before she presented him with the reality of the job. She didn’t want him running for his life when he’d barely just begun. It was nice having him around.