Daniel lifted his hand and ran it through her hair whilst pointing his eyes to the masonry behind her as if seeking out answers to a hundred questions running through his mind.
"What do you want from me?"
"I'm not sure," she offered quietly.
"I'm sure you do."
He locked his eyes on hers and stepped towards her once again and she stood defiantly, consciously holding her territory. She bent her head to the side to look up at him as he continued the interrogation. "I am under the impression that you are chasing forgiveness, forgiveness for the past. You came home with the intention of finishing what had begun between us."
"I know that sounds appealing to you right now, I felt it as much as you did." She nodded her head downwards as her eyes tried to drag his to the bulge on his stomach. "You are as turned on as me."
Her honesty and bluntness just caused him to scowl. "So this is your way of making up? You are trying to get things back to the way they were before."
"That would be an easy way for you to get some revenge sex, wouldn't it?" She laughed and widened her eyes so that it was obvious she was joking. She didn't mean what she just said, and she wanted him to know that. She wasn't sure that she knew Daniel but the Daniel she did know, the Daniel of old, would never have contemplated such action. For that Daniel had always been honourable.
But did she know anything about Daniel any more? She had just been blown off her feet by a kiss. Here she stood looking at him, just hoping, just wanting and in fact needing with every fibre in her body to get that kiss over and over again.
"So you want to make yourself some kind of sacrifice? You're willing to offer yourself up?"
Had he reverted to being antagonistic Daniel?
"How you'd like me to say yes to that. If only I would agree to that, then that might make you think we were even and it would give you another excuse to hate me even more. It would just confirm to you that I am some kind of low life with no morals."
Could she ever want somebody who thought that kind of thought about her? Wouldn't that make Emma as self destructive a personality as she had been in the past?
Daniel became visibly irritated and took a few paces up and down looking upwards towards the street-lights. He stopped, gazed straight at her face and said: "I am not of the view that you lack morals."
He had spoken so softly in a low tone that she had to concentrate to hear them. He broke eye contact which made her think he wasn't happy having revealed the truth to her in that way. But he had said the words and she knew, because he was unhappy having said it, that it must be true.
Emma felt her knees tremble and weaken as a wave of longing and need engulfed her.
"But you do seem to think that I don't have any value, don't you?" The thought that that was true really hurt Emma, so she burst out laughing to hide that hurt and to help fight back the tears that were threatening to leak from her eyes.
"The sad thing is I lost all faith in my own value, so for a long time I couldn't disagree. But after years of soul-searching I have found myself again. So I'm not going to get too angry at you for having such a low opinion of me, because whatever your opinion is of me now my own opinion used to be much worse." She flung her arm upwards with a loosely clenched fist and her thumb pointing in towards the bar. "And those so-called friends in there helped to remind me of the thing I hate most about myself when I heard them speak about you in the way that they did."
"And that gave you the opportunity to correct your past behaviour by defending me. You defended me tonight but you couldn't back then."
She forced another laugh, though the fact it was forced made it sound harsher as her arms fell to her sides. "So it's just too little too late for you. You have it all sorted. I am a sinner and you are the Saint." She drew a deep breath and steadied her quivering lips, digging deep into her entire being to prevent herself bursting into tears. She stretched her neck to hold her head high and snapped. "I know you've worked really hard these past years to prove what a good man you are, I just wish that I could have a similar chance."
"Well that's up to you, I'm not holding you back."
"You most certainly are." She shook her head vigorously. "You are the one thing that holds me back because you are the one thing that constantly reminds me of who I used to be."
He leaned in towards her. He was so close she could have reached for him if she allowed herself. "Perhaps the reminder is what you need. Perhaps that's why you hold me when I kiss you." The words sent a shiver of delight down her back as his tone gently seduced her. "Maybe you are transfixed on the moment we had back then and you want to return there so we can follow through on what we very nearly did, hoping that that makes everything better in the present."
Daniel's words were washing over her in a spiritually cleansing way. Was this the reason that she responded to him? Hadn't she thought something similar before? There was clearly a physical response from her, she felt a deep longing, a need. Without these things would kissing him feel anything as good as it did? Would she feel like she needed to cling on to him and not let go?
Emma felt she was analysing things too deeply. She was going over and over her thoughts and some of them were directly contradicting her emotions. Such conflict was turning her inside out and possibly making her see things back to front. "Sometimes kissing somebody makes you feel so awesome that there is nothing else to say. It was you who pointed that out to me once, and let's face it, a few moments ago even you managed to forget just how much it is you actually hate me, didn't you? And that's what we should do, Daniel. Concentrate our emotion somewhere else when it gets too negative and strong."
"Let's kiss and make up?" He was smiling yet at the same time looking a little shocked at the idea, damn him. But in the look of his frown she realised that he was challenging her to seriously consider what it was she had just suggested.
Once again Emma saw the bait but couldn't stop herself from taking a bite. "Maybe. Perhaps the only way we have of eradicating the anger is to replace the anger with something else?"
"You mean pleasure? Or ecstasy?" His voice had lowered and the humour that his words had put onto his face quickly gave way to his serious look.
Struggling to catch her breath she managed to whisper her response: "Maybe."
"I get it," he said. "Each time we begin arguing we stop and start kissing instead? Or touching? And if it's a really big argument we can..." His voice rose with excitement with each suggestion. "So just how far do we go each time we get into a disagreement? Do we always have to end up with some really angry sex up against the nearest wall? Just tell me what it is you want from me."
His words seemed harsh and his tone was certainly irritable and this just fuelled Emma's frustration making her bark her answer back at him. "I really don't know."
He barked back. "You don't know? And that's been the problem your whole life hasn't it?"
Emma couldn't speak. It was if an open sore on her soul was being rubbed with too much force and the feeling of agony prevented her speaking. She focused on deep breathing gradually building up the physical capability of being able to speak again. She looked across at Daniel who was holding his jaw as the anger seemed to pulsate away from him. She flattened her tone and said. "So you want sex up against the wall in this alleyway? Is that what you really need?"
She noticed how his hands tightened and formed a fist at the side of his body, but he remained silent. Looking into his eyes she went to the bottom of her heart and issued him with a challenge which she hoped would be true.
"I know you are not a vengeful person even if you really want to be one, and you couldn't seek revenge on me because you remember how close we were, don't you?" And inside she felt she could only suggest replacing anger with something else because she knew that he wouldn't do anything about it. And by not doing anything about it he would be showing her just how much he did care by not letting her sell herself short.
But was she testing him now?
&nb
sp; It wasn't so much her testing him, more of a release valve for the way she was feeling. She had so much desire for him, so needed him sexually that she was struggling to cope. It didn't matter what she said to herself, however she tried to rationalise everything her sexual attraction would not go away. She had kissed him and loved it, the feelings on her lips were still fresh and she knew if he wanted her again she wouldn't be able to stop him. He was driving her insane and this single fact made her hate him.
Daniel stood tall and erect, towering over her. His eyes seemed to flicker with a million different thoughts making it impossible for her to guess what he might be thinking. Was he battling with his own issues? Was he deciding whether he should be angry or would he take her in his arms and begin kissing her once more.
Emma wanted to know. Not knowing made her ache. Or did she just ache?
And her look gave her away because with a shake of his head he spun on his feet and began walking away.
She stood motionless her feet rooted to the spot as she watched his broad shoulders get narrower with each long stride. He snatched one foot towards the ground as if to kick something away before turning away out of the passage way. And in the darkness under the shimmering sodium lights she reflected briefly on what had just happened and gave out a noise which was partial sob but also a burst of laughter. She looked up at the sky and felt her body aching and longing for him but knew deep inside that he had refused to enter into some sordid affair. By refusing to take advantage of her, of her need, he had shown her that he really did care.
Daniel walked round and round for what seemed like hours but what was probably only minutes, he didn't really know. He had had to walk away from Emma because he might have strangled her or taken what was on offer, whatever that was. He was consumed by a deep resentment which had lingered in him for years, and her returning had reopened those wounds. And yet he wanted her, didn't he?
The moment his lips had met hers he had wanted her so badly that all reason had left his mind. That made him hate her all the more. But he still wanted her.
Daniel had never been a drinker, but as he found a new bar he felt the need for a drink to help soothe away the burning anger. He marched in not taking any notice of the customers already there. This was Emma driving him to drink he thought to himself.
He ordered a large single malt whiskey from the expensive end of the bar and watched passively as the bartender pressed the glass twice against the optic. He dug his hand into his trouser pocket, located his wallet and exchanged a note for the whiskey.
"Good evening to you, Mr Kendrick."
He was surprised to be addressed in such a manner, and turned to see who it was. "Hannah."
She smiled at him as he scanned the room. "No, I'm not with Toby. I'm out with my work colleagues."
"You've escaped for the evening and you choose to talk shop?"
She laughed, straightening her face. "It's part of what is necessary to climb up the greasy pole." She changed the subject. "If you need some company other than the glass Toby is at home."
The last thing on his mind was discussing his problems with Emma with anybody else, least of all her brother. He rocked the glass from side to side swirling its contents around creating the whirlpool effect before placing his nose to the glass, absorbing the fumes, and taking a sip. He felt a soothing, burning sensation to his throat before the warming of his chest.
"Romantic troubles?"
He gave a strained laugh. If only she knew. Emma had taken trouble to a world record-breaking level.
"Well if you want to meet three gorgeous ladies, all single I can add, they are over there and would love to meet you."
He looked over Hannah's shoulder and saw three attractive young women looking back at him, one actually waved and blew him a kiss. He didn't move and gave no indication that he would which told Hannah all she needed to know.
"Well if you change your mind."
He hadn't entered the bar for conversation and wasn't in the mood to start one. "Hannah, thanks for your-"
"You're not looking for therapy?"
"Not really." He gave her a warm smile. "I appreciate your concern, have a good night."
"Sure will. You too, Daniel."
He made the effort to smile and to hold a smile until she had gone, and he just about managed to. He thought again about the three single women who had just invited him over and thought that if he had any sense he would be over there now. But how could he? He still had Emma in his system and until she had been flushed away he was in a world of limbo. Before he could get involved with a woman again he would have to get out of his mind how Emma had leaned into the kiss with him when he had expected to be pushed away. He remembered how he was about to pull away and she had pulled him towards her and raised the temperature some more. She had moaned with pleasure as he put his hands to her naked flesh, if he'd moved them and found her breasts as he wanted to she wouldn't have stopped him, would she?
He placed the empty glass on the bar, looked up at his reflection in the mirror behind the bar as his mind reflected on the words she had used.
I know you are not a vengeful person even if you really want to be one, and you couldn't seek revenge on me because you remember how close we were, don't you?
Of course he remembered. But why did the past have anything to do with the present? Surely it is she who is confused. She still thinks she has the upper hand over me. But why the hell should she?
He turned to his right and marched briskly to the door. She had issued a challenge to him once more, and this time he was going to call her bluff.
Chapter 7
"You have arrived at your destination.” Said the robotic voice from the dashboard. Daniel checked the piece of paper for the number, scanned the rows of terraced housing and after parking the car got out, clicking his key fob to lock the door behind him. On finding the correct door and being unable to locate a bell or knocker, Daniel used his knuckles to rap on the thin glass windowpane. Eventually the door opened.
"What on earth..?"
Daniel shoved his way past Emma's startled frame, into her tiny living room with a look of mild horror on his face. "I would normally say what a nice place you have here, but as that's an obvious lie, I won't."
"Are you drunk?"
She wondered if he had downed a bottle of Scotch since their parting just over an hour ago as she could smell the unmistakable aroma of whiskey on his breath. He wasn't slurring his words or showing any loss of balance, but there was that distinct smell.
Emma closed the door to the street, moved towards him, and took a sniff nearer to his breath. "Just how much have you had to drink?"
He gave her a broad, sexy grin. "I've had just the one whiskey, and I bumped into Hannah if you want it confirming. It is curious that you think I need to have a drink before coming to see you and take up your offer."
"What offer is that?"
"The one you made in the alleyway at the side of the pub. So here I am."
"Are you serious?" Her heart began racing and her eyes seemed to pop out as they widened.
"Were you serious?"
She began to feel the old emotions of fury return. She thought how he had made such an effort to make her hate him and here he was, in her living room, exceeding all he had done before. Her hands tightened and loosened in quick succession as she fought the urge to slap him across the cheek.
She thought how this was her fault for making the mistake of thinking that he might care. And she was thinking of how that belief had given her the euphoric feeling over the past hour as she had made her way home.
"I've had enough, it's time to go, now go." She took two paces to the door and opened it. "Good night."
He crossed his arms over his chest, bending his knees so as to lower himself onto the arm of a scruffy looking armchair. "So what makes you want to live in a hovel like this?"
"It's hardly any of your business, but we all have to live within our means. I haven't won the lottery,
and if I had I wouldn't be here. Anyway, it's not a hovel its compact and Bijou. Now go, before I start screaming."
"With all the noise on the street and the party just up the road, I doubt anybody would notice if you scream, and it seems like the type of neighbourhood where no one will much care. And anyway, what do you mean you are living within your means? You're from one of the richest families in Cheshire."
"I do not sponge off my family, I take care of myself. It has nothing to do with family." She moved to the area where the sink and refrigerator overlooked the armchair, and picked up her mobile phone. She waved it in front of her breasts in a back and forth motion. "I will call the police and just scream down the phone."
He raised himself from his temporary perch turning slowly around to take in the rest of the room. He noticed how the wallpaper was straight out of a 60's sitcom and the carpet and furnishings were well worn. "Where's Leila?"
"She's in the back yard, or patio as the landlord calls it. One of the reasons I took this place." She opened up the phone and displayed it to him in its ready to dial state. "You have ten seconds then I will scream down this phone so loud the whole of greater Manchester police force will be here thinking you are a chainsaw murderer."
"When you get through ask for Sgt. Scrimshaw. I met him last week when his son bought a flat from one of our new developments. Lovely chap, I'm sure he will take you seriously, at least he will at first." He made his way to the back door and opened it allowing an excited miniature schnauzer to come racing in. She greeted Daniel as though he was a long lost member of the pack and in return he bent down to stroke her neck. "Hello little one. How are you managing to cope living in a dump like this? I bet it makes you want to chew the furniture when you're left alone here. I'd chew it as fast as you can if I were you."
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