by Layla Holt
He chuckled. “Quarter to eleven to be exact,” Dean said. “I see you’re still good at keeping time.”
“So are you,” Ruby said.
They stood smiling at each other. It had always been that way for them. Perfect symphony. They had rarely clashed or disagreed. Dean had always felt like an extended male version of herself. How could she have hurt him so badly? Her chest ached as she thought of the heartbreak and humiliation he had endured.
“Dean?”
It was the server, Ella. Ruby’s eyes widened as she took in Ella’s enlarged belly. “Congratulations!” she cried.
Ella’s hands capped her belly. “Thank you. Jonathan and I can’t wait for the little one in about twelve weeks.”
“Jonathan?” Ruby said, raising an eyebrow.
The door to the kitchen opened and a huge man in a barista’s uniform walked out.
“That’s Jonathan,” Ella said, her voice soft and full of affection.
Ella introduced Ruby to Jonathan.
“I’ve been working here with your father for the last two years,” the sandy haired giant said.
Four years was a long time. The only staff members Ruby recognized were Ella and the baker, James Neal. In the kitchen, James pulled her into a hug and when they pulled apart, she saw that he was teary and that made her own eyes flood with tears.
“We shall miss him,” James said and wiped his eyes with the back of his apron.
He and her father had worked together from the very beginning and a friendship between the two men had grown and strengthened over the years. James was probably in his fifties now. She asked after his wife and his grown-up kids.
All the while, she was aware of Dean standing behind her, his presence a tower of strength. At some point, he rested his hand in the small of her back, sending pinpricks of excitement racing up and down her spine.
Ruby also met Hailey, a sweet-faced plump lady who did the prep work and washed the dishes.
“Our condolences for the loss of your parents,” Hailey said, her eyes flooding with tears.
In the last two months, locked up in her apartment in New York surrounded by her grief, Ruby had felt alone in her anguish. Standing in the kitchen of the bakery café, the loneliness disappeared. She wasn’t the only one mourning the death of her parents.
There were other people who had loved them and whose lives they had touched.
“I’m sorry I disappeared on you all,” Ruby sniffed.
“We understand,” Ella said.
“You needed that time,” Hailey added.
“We had a good manager,” Jonathan said with a chuckle. “He learned on the job and was a quick study.”
They laughed and turned to Dean.
“You were the acting manager?” Ruby said.
He shrugged. “It was not a big thing.”
Her tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. Despite how badly she had treated him, Dean still looked out for her. Never mind that he had never worked in a bakery or restaurant.
“What are your plans for the bakery?” James said.
“I’m thinking of selling,” Ruby said. “My life is in New York and as much as I’d love to keep it going for dad, I just can’t.”
James patted her arm. “We understand. I’m planning on retiring as well. It’s not the same without your dad here.”
Ruby leaned into his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. They sat that way for a few seconds.
“How does everyone feel about that?” Ruby finally said when the silence stretched on.
Jonathan looked pensive and she hoped that he and Ella would not have a hard time finding other jobs. Ruby hoped that the new owner would take on any of the staff that wanted to stay on.
“How about a coffee,” Ruby said to Dean when they had finished the informal meeting.
She thanked them all and led Dean out of the kitchen. She picked the corner table and Ella followed them.
“What can I get you?” she said with a smile.
“Don’t worry,” Ruby said. “I’ll get our orders myself.”
“I insist on being your waitress,” Ella said with a smile that warmed Ruby’s heart.
They ordered black coffees with Ella insisting that they try out the fruit muffins, a recipe her dad had come up with.
“Thank you for holding it together,” Ruby said when Ella left.
“You would have done the same for me,” Dean said.
She nodded. She would have, without a doubt. “I’ll take it from here. I’ll come in from tomorrow until we get a buyer. How long do you think that will take? How’s the market?”
Dean shook his head. “I wish I had an answer right now but I’ll research. I have a friend in real estate, he’ll have a rough idea. But these things take time Ruby.”
“I thought so. I’ll call my agent and tell him not to book any jobs for me for at least six weeks.”
“Congratulations,” Dean said. “You’ve done well for yourself. I’ve seen your pictures in several of Megan’s magazines.” A wary look had come over his features.
“Thank you,” she said. She had known that at some point they would have to talk about the past but she’d hoped it would be later. And in a more private setting.
“Has it been worth it?” Dean said, his voice calm.
She let out a slow breath. Why was he asking her that? She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now does it, what’s done is done.”
“It may not matter to you, but it does to me,” Dean said. “I’d feel better if I knew it had been worth it.”
She had no clear answer. Once, she had believed that she’d done the right thing but in the last year, something had shifted. She had seen her professional life in all its emptiness. And she’d allowed herself to think about Dean and what they’d had.
The regrets had set in then. Coming back to the bakery had opened other memories that confounded her further. Would she have been content to stay and become Dean’s wife or would she have ended up as bitter and dissatisfied as her mother?
The thought of ending up like her mother made her think she had made the right decision in going off to pursue her dreams. But seated across Dean and looking into his piercing eyes, the doubts set in. Because one thing that was a fact was that they had loved each other. And they’d had a great relationship.
“I read about your father,” Ruby said. “I’m sorry.” She had loved his parents like she had her own.
“It was touch and go for a while there, but he’s improving by the day. It helps that he has a grandson to get better for.” Dean smiled and her heart skipped a beat.
He had a smile that lit up the world. A smile that made you feel as though all was right with the world. It was infectious and her mouth curled into a smile.
“Your mother must love being a grandmother,” Ruby said. She and Mrs. Cohan had become very close in the years that she and Dean were a couple.
She’d talked about children a lot and how much she looked forward to having a grandchild. Ruby had always thought that she and Dean would be the first to get a baby. She would never have thought that it would go so wrong for them.
“I think she likes it a little too much,” Dean said and went on to tell her about the extravagant play place she had gotten done for Matt.
Ruby laughed. She could just imagine the elegant Mrs. Cohan on her knees playing with her grandchild. She asked after the rest of the brothers as well as Megan, their little sister.
“You should visit mother,” Dean said. “She’d love to see you. You two were very close.”
Ruby lowered her head. She had so much to be ashamed about. “I can’t. What would I tell her?”
“Hello would be a good start. She was hurt that you hadn’t spoken to her considering the friendship you had.”
Tears pricked Ruby’s eyes. “I wish I could turn back the clock.”
“What would you do different?” Dean asked.
She got a handkerchief from her handbag and blew her nos
e. Dean wanted her to say she would not have cancelled the wedding. But that wouldn’t be the truth. She still hadn’t figured out whether she would have cancelled it or not. “I know that I would have done things a lot differently.”
He locked eyes with her. “Why couldn’t you speak to me Ruby? If you didn’t want to get married, all you needed to do was to tell me. I wasn’t forcing you to marry me.”
Her heart broke all over again at the raw pain in his voice. She opened her mouth to apologize and then shut it. It was so inadequate to say sorry.
“I know. I left it too late and then I panicked,” she said.
“When did you start having doubts?” Dean said.
“I wouldn’t call it doubts,” she said searching for an explanation that she didn’t have. “It was just this feeling that I was shutting down all the opportunities that would come my way by getting married. I wanted be free to do what I wanted and to go to the places I wanted, my career...”
Dean’s face remained a plank of wood, his amazement hidden by a slow breath. “You believed that getting married to me was akin to going to jail?”
“No,” Ruby said. “I don’t know.”
“What should I have done to help?” Dean said.
Chapter Three
Dean’s mind was blissfully empty as he did the fourth set of repetitions. His muscles burned with the effort of lifting heavier weights than he normally did. He needed it. The plan was to exhaust himself so that at bedtime, he would sleep like a log. No thoughts of Ruby to haunt him.
His hands quivered and he lost count of the number of reps he had done. He forgot to count and just kept pushing up and down. Sweat trickled down his face and his breath came out in gasps.
Dean became aware of a figure looming over him, before the bar was lifted from his arms.
“Are you trying to kill yourself?”
Dean sat up and blinked away salty sweat from his eyes. He stared at Max Foster, his best friend. “I got a little carried away.”
Max shook his head. “What’s eating you?”
After his meeting with Ruby in the bakery, he had left feeling as if his heart had been ripped from his chest. Why hadn’t she told him that she was frightened of getting married? Ruby had never been shy with her feelings or thoughts.
What had been so difficult about talking to him about her fears? He had been so excited as their wedding day approached and couldn’t wait for Ruby to be his wife. But he would have understood. He would have willingly cancelled the wedding. Anything, as long as he did not lose her.
Dean sighed. It was easy to cast all blame on Ruby but he was to blame as much as she was. He knew her well and he’d known she was nervous as their wedding day approached.
“I was with Ruby today,” Dean said. “It’s messed up my head.”
“Yes, I heard that she was back,” Max said. “Does she need a bodyguard?”
Dean shot him a look. “Do you think about anything else apart from work?”
Max had started a bodyguard and personal security company and it was growing at a faster pace than he had estimated. The result was that Max thought of Access Security Ltd twenty-four hours a day.
“How is she coping with everything?” Max said.
“Pretty good actually,” Dean said. He was the one not doing too well. He couldn’t stop thinking about what might have been. “I keep thinking there was something I could have done.”
“Don’t go back to that space man, it’s dangerous. You weren’t to blame. Who can tell what goes on in another person’s head if they don’t share?” Max said.
“We were friends Max. I’d noticed the change in her as the wedding got closer but like a fool, I’d told myself it was wedding jitters.”
“As any normal thinking human being would,” Max said. “Did she tell you why she left?”
Dean shook his head. “She said she was frightened but I don’t get that. If that was it, we could have discussed it.”
They were both silent for a while before Max spoke up. “Why does it matter now? Unless of course you—”
“Not a chance,” Dean interrupted. “She’ll always be my friend but I’m not in love with her anymore. Those feelings died on our wedding day.”
“If you say so man,” Max said. “Have you heard from Megan?”
Dean searched his friend’s face. It was neutral. “Still carrying that torch?”
Max thought that his crush on Megan was a secret but Dean had known it for years. He’d been grateful that his friend had not acted on it. What surprised him though was that Max still thought about Megan.
“Is it wrong to ask after my best friend’s little sister who is in a foreign land?” Max said.
“And who is very married?” Dean pointed out.
“I was at the wedding,” Max said, his tone dry.
His casual tone did not fool Dean. He felt sorry for Max. Having feelings for a married woman was asking for trouble. But he would get over it. He had no choice.
“Hey,” Dean said. “We came to pump muscle not talk about women. Your turn.” He got up from the bench and Max took his place.
RUBY HAD MADE HER PARENTS’ dining table her working space. She was designing a new collection, different from what she normally made. This one was dark with shapes of bones and nuts. She didn’t have to think very hard about the inspiration for the pieces.
During her first year in New York, she had made dark pieces of jewelry and surprisingly they had found homes with people who liked edgy jewelry. She had gradually stopped designing and making them and shifted to the cheerful pieces she enjoyed designing.
Ruby realized that her pencil had not moved. Her thoughts had meandered to Dean again. He believed it was his fault that she had cancelled the wedding! That couldn’t be further from the truth. It had nothing to do with him. Just her and her messed up brain.
Her phone lit up and vibrated on the table. Ruby reached for it and stared at the unknown number. She swiped the screen to answer. A woman’s voice came through the speaker.
“Hi, my name is Leah, we met at the elevator—”
Ruby smiled. “I remember. Adrian’s fiancée. How are you?”
“I’m fine, thanks. I was calling about the necklace and earrings set we spoke about?”
To say she was surprised was an understatement. Ruby had completely forgotten about Leah and the interest she had expressed in her jewelry. “Do you want to come over and talk about it in person?” Ruby said.
“Hang on a sec,” Leah said.
Ruby could hear muted voices in the background as Leah spoke to someone.
She came back on after a few seconds. “I’d love to.”
Ruby gave her the directions to her parents’ home and disconnected the call. She had wrestled on whether to bring her jewelry making equipment with her from New York. Now she was glad she had done so. She would be busy with the bakery until Dean found a buyer but she needed a distraction in the evenings.
Something urgent that would keep her busy. Leah’s custom order would do that. Ruby loved designing custom wedding pieces. Not that she had done many. Her modeling career left little time to work on her pieces but she’d done a few over the years.
She tidied up the dining table and made a pot of tea while she waited for Leah to arrive.
The bell rang while Ruby was carrying the tea to the dining table. She hurried to the front door and flung it open. Leah smiled brightly, the rich hues of the evening sunset splashing color on her thick blond hair. She was a beautiful woman. Adrian was a lucky man.
“Sorry, I’m staring,” Ruby said with a laugh.
Leah grinned. “That makes two of us. You’re even more beautiful in person. How do you manage to look so chic even when you’re home?”
Ruby laughed. “Comes with the job. Please come in.”
Leah was positively glowing and Ruby told her so as she showed her to the dining room.
“A bridal glow, I suppose,” she said and then covered her mouth with her
hand. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Ruby smiled reassuringly. “It was a long time ago and besides, every bride is different.”
The difference between Leah and herself as brides-to-be was stark. Leah was like a ray of sunshine, even the way she walked. Without even uttering a word, a stranger like herself could tell that the other woman was happy.
In the weeks leading to her own wedding, Ruby had felt her skin tightening around her face by the day. She’d been tightly wound up, ready to unravel at any moment. When she should have been happy and excited for the future, she had been feeling as though the walls were closing in on her.
“Tea?” Ruby said.
“Yes please,” Leah said.
Ruby poured the tea into two mugs. “I didn’t think you’d call after Adrian told you who I was.”
A flush crept across Leah’s cheeks. “I was shocked to be honest. I’d heard the story of Dean’s fiancée, but I never thought that we’d meet.”
“It’s okay, I understand,” Ruby said. “I would be the same way.” She searched the other woman’s face. “Is this a good idea? The Cohans hate me and you don’t want to start off your married life fighting over a stranger.”
“Adrian’s fine,” Leah said. “Besides I know it couldn’t have been easy to make such a decision. You must have agonized about it for weeks.”
The words, spoken softly and kindly touched Ruby and tears sprung to her eyes. No one had ever said a kind word to her in regards to her role as the runaway bride. “Thanks for saying that. Now let’s get to work.” She grabbed a notepad and pencil.
“This is so exciting,” Leah said.
“Jewelry does that to women,” Ruby said with a laugh. “Now, first things first. Do you have any allergies?”
They went through Leah’s personal preferences and settled on a white gold necklace with matching earrings.
“What comes to your mind when you think about the wedding?” Ruby asked her.
Leah’s hazel eyes went all dreamy. “I think that Adrian, myself and our son Matt, will finally be a family. I can’t wait for us to be a family.”
Ruby swallowed a lump in her throat. How nice it was to know what you want and not to be afraid to go for it. Four years hadn’t changed her and if it was her wedding, she would be terrified. Leah on the other hand was exactly how a bride should be.