by Pat Ballard
“Oh, no! You didn’t know, and I’ve opened my big mouth! Matt’s going to kill me!” Molly was almost in tears.
“It’s okay,” Hanna tried to soothe her. “I’m sure Matt will tell me tomorrow. But I don’t know if I can go that soon or not. I have to finalize the selling of Rockwell Place before I can leave town.”
“So he hasn’t told you about that yet, either?” Molly’s eyes were wide with concern.
“About what?” Hanna asked, curiosity edging her voice.
“Hanna, please don’t tell Matt I mentioned the house. He’ll really be pissed at me. Please?” Molly seemed overly concerned about Matt’s reaction.
“Okay, but tell me what you’re talking about,” Hanna pleaded.
“Hanna, I can’t. I really have to go.” Molly ran toward her parked car, leaving Hanna standing alone and baffled.
Hanna’s head ached as she climbed into bed. A thousand questions had flitted across her weary brain since she’d left Molly.
On the one hand, she was so proud for Matt. He seemed to have gotten his life back on track, and she knew that must mean a lot to him. But on the other hand, she knew that his gain was surely her loss. He would leave her now, and never look back.
But why hadn’t he told her what he was doing? All those nights she thought he might be with another woman, he was obviously working on his album. Why hadn’t he let her share in the joy of the pursuit of his dream?
Because he only needed you for the money, a little voice in her head whispered.
No, that’s not true, Hanna argued with the voice. What about the wonderful way he had made love to her, and all those beautiful words he had whispered?
Some men will do whatever they have to do to get sex, the little voice persisted. And this time Hanna didn’t argue, because she was afraid the little voice was right.
She drifted into a restless sleep, dreaming of being chased by fans who were trying to keep her away from Matt when she really needed to talk to him to tell him something important.
Hanna turned and tossed for several hours before finally giving up and getting out of bed. No use to keep lying there if she couldn’t sleep.
Slowly the dreams of the night drifted back to her, dimly at first, then becoming clearer as she tried to decipher each one. But one dream kept eluding her consciousness. Something about being chased by fans who wouldn’t let her tell Matt something. But what was she trying so hard to tell him? Somehow, now that she was awake, it seemed very important to know what she was trying to tell him.
Out the window, the sun was coloring the eastern sky a beautiful red hue. Passing Matt’s room on her way downstairs, she saw his bed was still made, and hadn’t been slept in.
What had he done all night? And with whom? Now she wished she’d insisted on staying with him until every autograph had been signed and every picture had been taken.
Sitting at the huge oak table alone, looking up into the watchful eyes of Grandfather’s portrait, a tranquility settled over Hanna like none she had ever known. It was almost as if Grandfather was there with her, smiling calmly at her as he always did, and reminding her that life was hers to live as she chose.
Grandfather had always been there to encourage her when her self-esteem was down around her ankles, which is where it always seemed to stay in those days. He would get so frustrated at her sometimes because she let the things her mother and Will said affect her so much.
Why was it so easy to believe the negative things they said to her? And why was it so hard to believe the positive, uplifting things Grandfather said to her?
Because she chose to believe the negative things.
There it was. Just as Grandfather had been trying to tell her all those years. How she lived her life was her choice. What she believed about herself was her choice. And that was what Matt had been trying to make her realize, too.
Well, she had come a long way, baby. She hoped Grandfather knew how much she had changed in the last few months. Never again would she allow another person to determine the way she felt about herself.
And it wasn’t just because Matt had made slow, maddening love to her and told her all the things a woman needs to hear. Even when Matt was no longer in her life, she knew she would still hold onto this new self-image she now had. She knew she was worth loving, even if Matt didn’t love her. And she knew she was worth loving, even if she never found a man who loved her.
Suddenly the elusive dream interrupted her thoughts. This time she remembered what she had been trying to tell Matt.
She needed to tell him she was pregnant.
Chapter 12
Pregnant?
Hanna jumped from her chair and bolted up the stairs to her bedroom to check the calendar she kept hanging on the wall.
Two weeks late! “Oh, please, God, please don’t let this be happening,” she prayed, sinking to a sitting position on the side of the bed, clutching her head in both hands.
But deep down inside, she knew it was true. Her periods were never late. Now she understood the slight queasiness she felt the last few mornings when she had first gotten out of bed. She’d noticed it, but just assumed it was because she wasn’t getting much rest at night.
She was pregnant with Matt Corbett’s baby. She couldn’t tell Matt until she knew for sure, but how would he react? Especially now, when he was just getting his career back on track. Would a baby make a difference in whether he stayed with her or not?
She couldn’t tell him. Not yet. Not until she knew if he planned to leave her, now that they didn’t need each other anymore. If he chose to leave, then she’d tell him about the baby after the divorce. That way he wouldn’t feel obligated to stay with her if he didn’t love her.
When was she going to find out who bought Rockwell Place? She’d never heard of anything as strange as this situation. She’d sold her house and, according to her last bank statement, the down payment had been deposited into her account by Houston Couch, and she had never seen or even talked to the new owners.
Hanna reached for the phone.
“Houston? I need some answers about the buyers of Rockwell Place. You said they wanted to move in in two months, but does that mean I have a solid two months before I have to move out? Or do they want me out sooner than that so they can actually be in the house in two months?”
“Actually, I don’t think the new owner would mind if you stayed there indefinitely.” Houston sounded vague. “There doesn’t seem to be any hurry for you to move. Two months was just a time we came up with at the time of the sale.”
“No hurry for me to move? Who buys a house and then doesn’t want to move into it? Houston, tell me what is going on! Something is wrong with this situation, and I believe you know what it is, so tell me!”
“Now, calm down, Hanna,” Hanna had never realized how patronizing Houston’s voice could be at times when he didn’t want someone challenging his word.
“No, I won’t calm down, Houston. I’ll call someone who’ll tell me what I need to know. I have the right to know who bought my home. I’m not a child anymore, Houston. I grew up while you weren’t looking.” She hung up the phone as she heard him attempting to say something.
“Hanna, where are you?” Matt’s voice preceded him up the stairs.
Hanna, in the act of dialing the real estate office, lowered the receiver back to the base. “In here, Matt,” she answered, feeling her pulse leap at the sound of his voice.
He stopped at the barely cracked door and asked, “Can I come in?”
“Yes,” Hanna answered, not getting up from the side of the bed, where she had been sitting to use the phone.
Matt had a look about him that Hanna had never seen. He fairly beamed with happiness.
“I did it, baby. I got my life back,” he said, plopping down on the bed beside her. “What do you think about last night? About me getting my career back? Are you happy for me—for us?”
No reasons as to why he was gone all night. No apologies. Not even a
welcoming kiss.
The old Hanna would have broken into tears from the hurt she felt, but the new Hanna felt a sudden surge of anger.
“Boy, you have the balls, don’t you! You think you can just waltz in here as if nothing was wrong, with a big stupid grin on your face, and I’m supposed to melt at your feet! Where the hell were you last night? Do you think I’m supposed to believe you signed autographs all night? Is it just impossible for you to pick up a phone and let me know you won’t be home? I forgave you twice before, but this is getting old.”
“Baby, wait—” Matt tried to reach for Hanna’s hand, but she pulled away from him and started pacing the floor.
“‘Baby, wait,’ my ass! Baby waited all night, and you didn’t show up! Baby’s tired of waiting. I’m tired of waiting to find out who bought my home. I’m tired of waiting to find out when I have to move, and I’m tired of spending nights waiting to see if you’re coming home or not. Well, I’m not waiting anymore. I’m calling to find out who owns Rockwell Place. I’m going to find out when I need to be out of here. And you can bet I won’t spend another restless night waiting for you to show up!”
By now, Hanna was out of breath from the tirade she had let loose with, and Matt was staring at her with his mouth open.
“Damn! I didn’t think you had a fit like that in you!” Matt said, reaching for the phone. “I’m impressed. Hello, Dave? I’ve got you on Hanna’s speakerphone. Will you tell her where I was all night, please?”
Hanna expected anything but the loud roar of laughter from the other end of the line. “Matt, you in the doghouse, old boy?” Dave choked out.
“When you get finished enjoying yourself, just tell her where we were,” Matt said with a grin on his face.
“Okay, Hanna, this is the truth. When it came time for the Wildhorse to close, there were still scadoodles of fans waiting to get Matt’s autograph, so we told them to follow us over to the studio, and they did, and we just a little while ago got finished with them. This is a very good sign that Matt’s fans are back with him even though he’s changing from rock to country. Hanna, the big boys are saying Matt may be the next Garth Brooks! I’m telling you, lady, you’re married to one of country music’s next big stars. Can I go now? I really need some sleep.”
“Can he go now?” Matt asked Hanna with raised eyebrows.
“Bye, Dave. You better not be lying for him.” Hanna hung up the receiver. “I’m sorry,” she said, as Matt came toward her.
“I think I like you being jealous of me,” Matt said, taking her hands in his.
“Jealous?” Hanna laughed. “In your dreams!” But suddenly, she became serious. “Matt, I really am proud of you. I almost passed out last night when you bounded up on that stage and started singing.”
“Did you like the song?” Matt’s eyes held hers, waiting for her answer.
“I love all of them. They’re really great. I didn’t know you could write like that.” Hanna deliberately avoided the question about the song Matt supposedly wrote for her.
“But did you like the one I wrote for you?” Matt persisted.
“Did you really write it for me?” Hanna couldn’t believe Matt Corbett had actually written a song for her.
“Do you remember the day you stopped by my door and were listening to a song on my tape recorder, and I kind of got snippy with you?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“I was in the process of writing the song then, but I didn’t want you to hear it until it was finished. Yes, the song is for and about you, Hanna.”
Hanna was about to ask him to sing it to her again when his cell phone rang.
“Yes?” Matt inquired. After listening for a few moments, a smile spread across his face. “Yeah, I know what you mean, Houston, she’s been raising hell with me this morning, too.” He winked at Hanna as he talked.
Why was Houston Couch calling Matt on his cell phone, talking about her? Hanna wondered. This seemed highly unusual.
“Yes, we finished it three days ago. I sure wish you could have been at the Wildhorse last night. We really had a good turnout.”
So Houston knew about Matt’s budding country music career? Maybe Matt was using Houston as his lawyer now. That made more sense.
“Okay. I’ll tell her. Look, you have my will, if she kills me, okay?”
Hanna could tell Matt and Houston were having a good laugh at her expense. She just couldn’t understand why.
Finally, Matt ended the phone call.
“Can we go down and get some coffee? We really need to have a long conversation, but since I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours, and some of the adrenaline is wearing off, I’d better tank up on some java to keep me going.”
Sitting at the table, Hanna waited impatiently for Matt to tell her what the phone call from Houston was about.
“Hanna, before I tell you what Houston and I were discussing, I need to ask you something. I know that our marriage started out as just a convenience for both of us. You needed me, and I needed you.
“I didn’t tell you what I was trying to accomplish with my music, because I didn’t want you to know if I failed. I know that sounds silly to you, but I felt like a loser anyway, and I hated that you thought I just married you for your money. I wanted to make my own way, so I could be worthy of your love. So I could declare my love to you as a man standing on his own.”
“Your love?” Hanna wondered if her ears were deceiving her.
“Yes. My love. I love you, Hanna. I want to spend my life with you. Would you like to be my one and only groupie? Please say yes.”
Hanna could only stare into Matt’s earnest eyes. Could this be possible? Was Matt Corbett really declaring his love for her? Her head was spinning, and she was afraid she was really going to pass out this time. Her fantasy was actually coming true.
“Hanna?” Matt slid to the floor in front of her and slipped his arms around her waist.
Hanna placed her hands on each side of his face and lifted it to hers.
“Oh, Matt! You’ve just made me the happiest groupie in the world,” she whispered. “Yes, I want to spend my life with you. Whether it’s on the road, or anywhere else. I love you, Matt. I think I always have, and I know I always will.”
She lowered her lips to his in a kiss that sealed their love.
“Wait, there’s something else I need to tell you,” Matt said, sitting back in his chair. “Houston called saying you were determined to know who bought Rockwell Place?”
“Yes, I think it’s time I knew.”
“Lucy Holmes bought Rockwell Place.” At Hanna’s blank expression, Matt continued. “My aunt, Lucy Holmes. She’s the one you heard me talking about getting money from, on the phone that day with Dave. You thought I was talking about you.
“But I convinced my Aunt Lucy to put up the money to jump start my career. It’s called a “backer.” She also put the money down and acted as my purchaser, since I didn’t want you to know I was the one buying Rockwell Place.”
“What? You bought Rockwell Place? But why?” Hanna didn’t know how many more surprises she could stand in one day.
“Because Houston said you were determined to put it on the market, and I was afraid you would regret it one day, so I bought it back for you. Besides that, I kind of wanted our children to grow up at Rockwell Place. I’ve grown to love this old house.”
Finally, Hanna found her voice. “Speaking of children, Matt—”
Epilogue
A contented smile played on Hanna’s lips as she sat and watched her mother play with Matthew Rockwell Corbett. “Little Rockie,” as Matt fondly called their two-year-old son.
Matthew was a clone of his father, except for Hanna’s green eyes. He also seemed to have his father’s fatal charm. She pitied all the little girls who were destined to fall victim to the young Matthew Corbett. With his black hair, green eyes, and lethal charm, she knew many hearts would break before he found the right love of his life.
Life had
changed dramatically for Hanna in the two years and nine months of her marriage. Matt had, indeed, become a huge country music star. But his career had taken off in Europe equally as successfully as it had in the States. He had insisted that she and Matthew travel with him because he didn’t want to be separated from them a single minute longer than it took to stand on stage and deliver his show. As soon as he could exit the stage he’d be back on their private bus.
They had decided on a bus rather than trying to keep Matthew confined to hotel rooms when they were on tour, which was most of the time. They had purchased the largest touring bus they could get. Matthew had plenty of room to romp, and even a designated play area. They wanted it to seem as much like a real home to him as possible. They had a driver who delivered the bus to wherever Matt would be performing, and Matt, Hanna, and Matthew would fly there on their private jet, then stay in the bus for as long as Matt performed in the area.
Except when they were in Europe, as they were now. When Matt performed in Europe, Hanna and Matthew stayed with Henri and Mary.
Hanna still couldn’t believe the change in her mother. After Mary realized that her connection with the Rockwell name and fortune was severed, she happily became Mrs. Henri Dupri. And in so doing, her whole personality changed, almost like a butterfly metamorphosing from a caterpillar.
She’d become the loving mother that Hanna had always dreamed of, and she absolutely doted on little Matthew. She was a model grandmother, and Hanna caught glimpses of the mother she had been cheated out of all her life. But catching those glimpses enabled Hanna to go through healing periods that helped her understand and forgive her mother.
Mary had apologized repeatedly to Hanna for being such a horrid mother, and Hanna had just as repeatedly forgiven her and assured her that everything was wonderful now.
And everything was wonderful now. She was surrounded by a loving family. She wished somehow that Grandfather could know how it had all turned out. She wished he could know how happy her life had become and how much she loved him and appreciated the sacrifices he’d made in his life to try to secure her future joy.